Hello, ini Balai Polis, Jabatan Narkotik

narcotics joke

It has turned into a full fledged meme amongst our group of friends.
I was the first to propagate this one…I had gotten a new fixed line
which no one knew about, and I called up Ah L:

Me: (serious and harsh tone) Ini telefon (his name) kah?
Is this the number of (his name)?

Ah L: Ya, siapa ini?
Yes, who is this?

Me: Sini Balai Polis Kuching, Jabatan Narkotik. Saya dengar kamu sana ada ice. Betul kah tidak?
This is the Kuching Police Station, Narcotics Department. I hear you have methamphetamine in your possession. Is this true?

Ah L: Tak ada lah.
No, I don’t have any in my possession.
(He really doesn’t touch methamphetamine)

Me: Hahaha! It’s just me.

Ah L: %#@&!%#@#

I then called up Ah B:

Me: Hello, ini telefon (his full name) kah?
Hello, is this the number of (his full name)?

Ah B: Ya.
Yes.

Me: Ini Jabatan Narkotik Balai Polis Kuching. Saya ada maklumat kamu ada jual ice.
This is the Narcotics Division of the Kuching Police Station. I have information that you sell methamphetamine (ice).
(He really doesn’t use or sell methamphetamine)

Ah B: Betul kah?
Is that right?
(He recognized my voice at this point)

Me: Ya, kumpulan saya akan sapu kedai dan rumah kamu hingga kami cari ice.
Yes, our team will raid your business premises as well as your place of residence until we find methamphetamine.

Ah B: Tak payah lah, eh…saya ada satu kawan, dia sangat suka ice. Saya bagi kamu nombor dia lah.
There’s no need for that, hey, I have a friend who loves meth, I’ll just give you his information.
(He was referring to me, but only kidding coz he recognized my voice)

Me: &!*!@%!@#!

narkotik joke

Just today Ah T called me from an unknown cell phone number:

Ah T: Ini Jabatan Narkotik Kuching. Saya dengar kamu ada banyak ice di rumah kamu!
This is the Narcotics Department of Kuching. I have reason to believe you’re in possession of a lot of crystal methamphetamine!
(I did not recognize his voice at this point)

Me: (knows it’s a joke, but cautious nevertheless) Hah? Tak ada lah, saya tidak main dadah.
Huh? That’s totally inaccurate, I don’t touch drugs.

Ah T: It’s me lah.

Me: %!Q!&@!&!@

It’s a highly virulent meme and not funny at all, if you’re on the receiving end. ;)

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