Problems stressing you out? You need an outlet for your anger? No cats to kick or other methods of venting frustration?
Fear not, dear readers. I have introduced a new category in sixthseal.com called Dear Aries. It’s basically where you can write in about your personal problems and I will read and listen with a sympathetic ear and give you advice (which I hear is the worse kind of vice ;)). This is the first letter I have received from Confused in Miri, Sarawak.
Spend some time with me, say you’ll be mine
I am caught between a rock and a hard place. I met this girl at work and I’ve been attracted to her ever since I saw her. I’ve been secretly admiring (God, I hate this word) her for a while now, though I knew she was attached. Her boyfriend picks her up from work everyday and I’ve been wanting to ask her out ever since I saw her. I spoke to her a couple of times when we bumped into each other at the elevator and she seems like a nice person.
Anyway, fast forward to several months later and I started noticing that her boyfriend has stopped picking her up from work (God, I’m such a stalker). Curious about this sudden change of affairs (and seeing an opportunity), I inquired about the situation when I bumped into her again. Apparently, the boyfriend is Out of Town (TM) so I decided to ask her out.
Well, you know what love is right? It’s psychical attraction at first sight and then personality compatibility at the second stage. That’s where the problem comes in – we hit it off immediately. It’s like we’re kindred souls, and we started going out for lunch and at night. I’ve never met a girl like this before, one that I could easily talk to and open up with.
Anyway, pretty soon we had a rather intense relationship going. It’s pretty much all or nothing with me. I gave this relationship everything I had coz I thought this girl was Worth It (TM). Was she The One (TM)? I don’t know, but she’s been the closest “one” ever since this pharmacist I was going out with in Kuching broke up with me.
It was really, really good for a while. I literally worshiped the girl. She’s a little older than me and she’s very mature and that really appeals to me. She grounds my impulsive, self-destructive personality and she’s been really nice to me too, little gestures like bringing breakfast for me coz she knows I only drink coffee for breakfast.
Anyway, pretty soon The Boyfriend (TM) found out about the relationship and all hell broke loose. She stopped seeing me, although we still talk on the phone and arrange for secret, quick rendezvous sessions. Lately though, I have noticed that it’s just not good enough for me anymore. I don’t want a “girlfriend” that’s only available on the phone instead of being beside me. I hate the feeling of not being able to hug her and kiss her and just feel the comfort of being with her.
She was very honest and open with me that she’ll be leaving very soon and that we could never have an open relationship. It has to be covert due to the Unique Circumstances (TM) that she was in. I thought it would be good enough for me, but back then at least I got to go out with her. She can only stay at home now and just talk on the phone due to Restrictions (TM) placed on her since being found out. We can’t even go out now and it’s probably going to remain this way until she leaves.
What should I do? Should I just call it quits and pull out? Or do I torture myself by being a hermit for the remainder of the time and stay at home in the very rare occasion that she manages to sneak 10 minutes to be with me?
Do I pull the Band Aid off in one quick motion or do I pull it slowly off?
I used to say I never met a girl like you before,
Still ain’t got a fucking clue to who you truly are…
I got bored reading your letter halfway. Your verbosity exceeds even that of Ayn Rand. Has anyone ever finished reading Atlas Shrugged? I didn’t think so.
Kindred souls, my ass. How long have you been going out with this girl? It’s probably still the honeymoon period right?
I’m not even interested to hear about your personal attributes, which you so generously sprinkled throughout your letter, you narcissistic fuck.
Get to the fucking point, you took up several paragraphs writing the background which could have been achieved with six words in bullet form.
Okay, let me get this right.
1. Girl = Unavailable.
2. You = Infatuated.
3. Girl = Leaving.
That’s the gist of what your long winded letter was saying right? Read your #3 again. Again. And again.
Which part about leaving do you not understand? Imbecile!
You pathetic fuck, stop feeling sorry for yourself and move on!
It seems like you listen to Eminem from the quote from Spend Some Time. It’s a very good break up song, I have taken the liberty of scouring YouTube for a video and embedding it here for you to listen to and start being a man again. Listen to that bit about “but when someone seems too good to be true, they usually are”.
Quit using “anyway” and “well” as paragraph leaders in your writing. It’s very irritating to read.
Oh, and over here in Malaysia, we call them “lifts” not “elevators”.
P/S – What’s with that (TM) shit anyway? Your dad patent the word one izzit?