Project 3 1/2 Inch: Burgers for brunch

ingredients

I spent a nice weekend lazing around at home with Melody and decided to throw together some burgers for brunch. Well, here at sixthseal.com, all our cooking projects requires a catchy name and an irreverent goal, so this was dubbed Project 3 1/2 Inch – to make a burger that would have a height of at least three and half inches. :)

You will need:

Beef burger patties
Unbreaded crab flavored claws (this adds bulk and height, as well as taste)
Six (6) eggs
Burger buns
Arrack Putih (local distilled 50% alcohol)

arrack putih

Melody insists that Arrack Putih (translated as “bai jiu”) is meant for cooking. I vehemently disagree, having had more than my fair share of drinking cheap local liquor. It’s RM 5 – RM 10 for a 640 ml bottle containing 50% distilled liquor that tastes like vodka.

down

I have to applaud the local distilleries for marketing a high proof alcohol that doubles as an excuse for cooking purposes so stay-at-home moms can live in denial about their drinking habits. It’s the local equivalent of “just a nip of the cooking sherry”. ;)

drink

To prove my point, I downed a full glass of the alcohol neat, while Melody had 1/4 an inch of the stuff, also neat. She agreed it tasted like vodka too. This begs the question as to why we’re drinking the cheap stuff and the answer to that is simple…times are hard, my friends. :)

thaw

Anyway, after being imbued with some Dutch Courage (or Irish Motivation rather), I fired up the gas stove and heated some oil (coz we used up all the butter in the previous cooking expedition) in a frying pan…before remembering that the beef burger patties weren’t defrosted yet. Thus, we waited 30 minutes for it to thaw out and started with the crab claws.

crab claws

There happened to be some debate about how this should be done. I was in favor of steaming it, which she said was ridiculous since the metal instrument was way too tall for the wok to be of any use.

steam

She was all for boiling it in a pot of water with some salt, since that would not only quick defrost the crab claws but we could turn off the gas and control the heat so it’ll still be warm when the burgers are done.

boil

I agree in principal, but boiling will result in an unacceptable loss in the taste of the crab claws. Still, I went along since the ethanol was kicking in and I was in a cheerful disposition. =D

fry

Thus, with the disarmament peace talks reaching a positive conclusion, the beef burger patties were fried in vegetable oil. We fried four beef patties – two for each of us, while the crab claws were being boiled tasteless. ;)

oil

I’m not much of a health conscious person, which is pretty obvious by the way I live my life, but Melody insisted on lining the plate with tissue paper before putting the beef patties in to soak up the excess oil.

egg

However, there is on thing I excel at – The Ancient Art of Breaking an Egg with One Hand (!!!). =D

This is the sixthseal.com guide to breaking an egg with one hand. It serves no purpose whatsoever, but makes you look like you know what you’re doing in the kitchen. Chicks dig it. ;)

egg trick

Anyway, I soon realized that six (6) eggs would not make a paper thin wrap around the burger patties Ramly burger style due to the volume so I decided to just fry it all and make an omelet of sorts.

swirl egg

The sheer volume of the unborn chicken fetal material was a bit too much for the wok to handle, but I have a trick I learned while frying eggs in primary school (I love eggs!) which basically involves moving the liquid pooled inside the recessed wok out to the sides so it’ll cook faster…

eggs done

…and then use the spatula to move the cooked egg back in so more liquid egg can be displaced into the treasured hot surface area to the sides. It’s called The Swirling Egg Trick (TM). I’ve been doing it for ages. You’ll have an omelet up in no time using this method.

drain

Meanwhile, Melody started draining the crab claws. I didn’t have a strainer but she has some tricks up her sleeves as well, and managed to get the crab claws out. She dropped one into the sink though…

crab claws cooked

Crab claws are actually made of fish meat and flavored with crab flavoring – whatever that is. The flavoring industry has made leaps and bounds in their technology and I’m sure they can make an artificial flavoring that tastes exactly like you. ;)

me cutting

The problem with the kitchen at my place is that there’s really no proper cooking implements to speak of…bread knifes were nowhere to be seen. I tried my hand at cutting through the burger buns with a regular knife…

knife

…which didn’t work out so well,

melody cut

so Melody did the cutting instead.

process

The burger bun was sliced in half, and the beef patties layered on top of fried eggs before everything is topped with crab claws, peppered with…er, pepper, and doused with chilli sauce.

burger

It’s a huge gooey burger, but it tasted delicious!

burger project

It’s 3 1/2 inches. We measured. :)

eat

I must admit…I had a bit of a hard time eating it though…

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34 thoughts on “Project 3 1/2 Inch: Burgers for brunch

  1. Man Dude, you cooking again?!!! Your burger almost like Hawaii style only their is over easy. You got a name for that burger? I would called it the HB BURGER. Awesome.

  2. That some big stack of a burger. I would name the WHAT WAS I THINKING OF BURGER or THE BIG MOUTH BURGER judging how high it was you do need to prop your mouth big to eat it.

  3. HB Dude, Wireless do have problems. Mine kept logging off when airplanes fly by. Well anyway that burger is mighty high. I would named HB TOWER BURGER. I prefer teriyaki sauce and a slice of pineapple on mine.

  4. Wow that mighty high burger. I can’t handle that high it will fall apart on me on to my lap. I called it Mighty Man Burger or Tower of Hunger Burger.

  5. I love burgers but that really a huge one for me . Do you sometime add other things to it? Your bloggers should come up with a name for it. ASIAN MIGHTY BURGER OR MALAYLSIA MADNESS BURGER, HB SUPER SIZE BURGER.

  6. A burger with seafood and eggs should be called a Sunny Surf and Turf Burger. Burger joints in San Francisco create many funny and huge type of burgers too. There one called Godzilla Burger. It need 5 to 10 people to finish eating it.

  7. It had to be you to make such hugh burger and things. That a SINK YOUR TEETH INTO JUMBO BURGER. When I am in a hurry I add french fried, onion rings to my burger to save time eating. They called in States Truck Driver Special to save time eating on the go.

  8. Hey What up? No catup or mustard? Dude it your burger. Eggs on it there one state that make burger with eggs on it and that Hawaii. They called it Loco Moco. Your with chili sauce on it I would call Tower on Fire Burger.

  9. I’m impressed with the one-hand egg breaking skill. I totally dig that! Anyways, your burger is so cool with the presence of crab claws! When I was in London, I went to dine at a shop serving burgers that are 6-7 inches tall. Good feat! Does the crab claw taste good with the burgers?

  10. HB, pordon me but the way you talk remind me of the infamous Singapore Steven Lim ;p. Hey its that your kitchen, what a coincident I use butterfly brand gas stove too.

  11. hmmm it reminds me of my first trial of making real ramlee burger at a burger stall where my friend worked. in fact it is harder to make a pretty burger than it looks. although my burger than was far from looking perfect, but it was the best that i have ever tasted in my entire life :D :D :D

  12. vincent: It’s still managable. It’s one burger bun, two beef patties, a few eggs, and crab claws. :)
    nicksuneo: The Thailand McDonald’s has pork on their menu, I found it quite nice. I ate three different pork burgers last time I was in Bangkok. :)
    suanie: Yeah, I ate the burger and finished the rest of the crab claws. Still had room for the rest of the “Chinese 50% alcohol cooking wine” to boot. ;)
    butterscotch: I’m gonna make it 12 inches next time. One foot. A verticle subway.
    Neil: I haven’t Christianed the burger, since it’s mostly off the shelf stuff, but hmm…you just gave me an idea. If I want a real burger, I’m gonna put ribs inside (without the bone) and lots and lots of A1 BBQ sauce.
    Michale: Yeah, I finally had to squeeze the burger a bit to compact it before being able to fit it into my mouth. :)
    Thomas: Wireless as in WiFi (2.4 Ghz) or other spectrums? That’s interesting, I’ve never heard of WiFi logging off when airplanes take off. Yeah, a slice of pineapple would taste great, I love pineapples in sandwiches.
    Vickie: Tower of Hunger. Heh! I love that name. :)
    Nice one. I’m going to try and make an ultimate burger next time, one foot tall and anchor it with really long toothpicks.
    Amy: I love your names, I should have thought of a better one when I made this. Malaysian Madness, eh? I love alliteration. :)
    I want to make a foot tall burger next time.
    Keith: It’s possible to make it even higher, but not without “anchoring” it with toothpicks (like they do in club sandwiches) or satay sticks (my prefered choice for making the ultimate foot high burger). :)
    Steve: Onion rings. Good, good, another idea for me for making my foot high burger project. :)
    Erica: Yeah, surf and turf, I’ve seen that term used to describe dishes with meat and seafood in it.
    Godzilla Burger? It sounds like fun! 5-10 people to finish it to boot, that’s gotta be one huge pizza. I’ll love to check it out. :)
    Keith: That’s very nifty, putting the fries/onion rings into the burger itself to save time. I like the idea. :)
    Jen: Yeah, gotta get a customized bun from somewhere for my foot tall burger project. :)
    Jason: Tower on Fire, that’s a pretty catchy name. It has to be doused with chilli sauce though for it to look like that name. :)
    Darren: Yeah, and it’s at home so washing your hands is just a short walk away. :)
    …and you can stuff your mouth and no one would mind, since it at the privacy of your own living room. :)
    KY: We shall compare the size of our…mouth, when I go to KL. ;)
    eiling: It’s not that hard actually, just need probably a dozen eggs to practise and you’ll get it right. ;)
    6-7 inches tall! You made me feel burger envy and fear of castration (Freud reference there). I’m going to make a foot tall (not long, foot TALL) burger anchored with satay sticks the weekend after. :)
    Crab claws tastes good with anything. It’s just like crab sticks. I like the stuff so I can eat it just like that.
    You have to declaw it first though, coz for some incomprehensible reason, they use real crab claws at the end.
    Roland: Steven Lim? Really? Hmm…no one has ever mentioned that to me before. I was a little inebrieted in the video though. Downing 50% vodka neat kinda does that to you. ;)
    goolooloo: Eh, what’s wrong with your net connection? I know sixthseal.com was down for about an hour last night, but it’s usually up. I think. ;)
    Yalor, wanna settle down and get married and have kids already. :p
    xin: Yeah, I think the ones you make yourself are the best. I wish I knew someone with a Ramly burger grill. I’ll put lots of the Ajinomoto pepper and salt in it and lots of mayo and chilli sauce and make a huge one with beef, chicken, fish patties plus sausages. =D

  13. eiling: As thou hath spoken, so it shall be. ;)
    I will be doing it next weekend. Come to think of it, a foot is a lot of inches. It has to be delicious to boot. Will stock up on A1 BBQ sauce. :)
    The Logician: Very deep thoughts indeed…too deep for a Monday. ;)

  14. Dude, For mega burger it must be Joe Cable Car in San Francisco. 7 lb of hamburger eating. Special order. Some people have 3 or more to help eat it.

  15. Collin: Hmm…I’ll definately check that out if I’m ever in SF. I’ve eaten 2 pounds of meat, can probably eat 3, no problem, but not 7. Interesting…

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