I’ll be honest here – I’ve never put much faith in “alternative medicine” like traditional Chinese healing methods, preferring to cement my conviction in Western methods of rigorous medical training and the process of FDA pharmaceutical clinical trials.
It probably doesn’t help that I’m a pharmaceutical aficionado and my sister is a cardiologist. My motto used to be “Better living through chemistry…for every problem, a chemical solution!”
Thus, I was (more than) a little skeptical when I took this health check based on some form of non-invasive acupuncture. It was at a PRUhealth event and the health check session started with some rather personal questions.
Straight off the bat, I was grilled about my bowel movements, the olfactory offensiveness of the fecal matter and whether said poop sticks to the bowl or slides right down as slick as…er, shit.
I answered honestly, and gave them an almost-complete medical history, including my damaged kidneys courtesy of a methamphetamine overdose. I used to IV unfiltered (“cold shake method”) crystal meth with disastrous results to my renal function and was in ICU for a week coz of that.
Needless to say, I also disclosed my previous problems with substances. You should never lie with insurance…coz you won’t be able to claim if they find out. ;)
Anyway, back to The Probes (TM) it involves taking readings from the left and right hands and feet, which explains this rather undignified photo:
I found out that I have hypertension (150/85) which is nothing new – I already know I have high blood pressure. Or maybe it was the hot chick touching me. I don’t know for sure. ;) However, I was more than a little surprised to learn that the device also managed to find fault with my liver, kidneys and blood cells.
I present to you, my blood test results:
This is the results from the health check at the PRUhealth event:
It’s remarkably similar, which should probably tell me something. I need to maintain a healthier lifestyle, or at the very least, get insured so the hospital bills won’t instantly Chapter 11 me the moment I get admitted (which is a matter of when rather than if). The last time I was in ICU, it cost a staggering RM 3,000+ per day. I was in there for a whole WEEK!
I’ve always had problems getting health insurance since I was still actively using back then and no insurance company wanted to touch me with a 10 foot pole. However, I’ve been clean for three years after going through drug rehabilitation and PRUhealth will be one package I’ll be seriously looking into.
Let me tell you the best part about this plan. Say you’re not as…er, unhealthy as me, and you don’t possess a lot of the vices (smoking, drinking) that I do. PRUhealth offers a revolutionary system that I’ve never heard of before- NO CLAIMS BONUS.
Basically, if you don’t claim anything (if you don’t fall sick or get into shenanigans which require hospitalization) PRUhealth pays you back up to a maximum of RM 500 annually. You can even withdraw the bonus if you want to. It’s the only health insurance that offers something as ground-breaking as this – a plan that rewards you for being healthy!
Thus, if you’re not living life to the max (and destroying your body in the process) like I am, you’ll be well pleased to know that you’ll be rewarded for it. I on the other hand, find solace in the fact that I won’t be penalized for it either. It’s a win-win situation!
More about PRUhealth next week!
Speaking of winning, I still think I should have snagged the Unhealthiest Blogger Award…I’m a bit miffed that I didn’t. How liddat? My street (blog?) cred gone dy. :p