starcraft ii sea edition

I was waiting in anticipation while the installation screen brought me through the grand memories I had playing Starcraft and Starcraft: Brood Wars. Jim Raynor! Sarah Kerrigan! Mengsk!

I quickly dropped the sad excuse of a manual in the SEA version and rubbed my hands in glee as the game finally installed and the grand sound effect loudly proclaiming that YES, THE GAME IS INDEED READY – with the Play button blinking seductively, begging to be clicked.

I moved my mouse cursor and did just that. It proceeded to start downloading a host of patches that took about 45 minutes. No worries. It’s a small price to pay to get my grimy paws into the meat of the game.

The starting cutscene which was released as a teaser last year came on and I watched it – fascinated with the detail and armed with a refreshed memory of the storyline in the previous iteration and it’s expansion pack.

I couldn’t wait to play the game and see what happens next! I was so excited I could jizz in my pants!

I eagerly entered my Battle.net login and was confronted with:

starcraft ii error message

I tried and tried and tried again and still couldn’t get it.

I had the urge to shout at someone. Loudly. With lots of profanity. I called Blizzard’s support number and told an incompetent dumb fuck my problem with the game. Do you know how hard it is to recite a CD key through the phone?

It makes me want to commit seppuku!!!

After the person on the other end got it wrong fro the 5th time I went from F for France to F for fuck. *rage

He gave me a whole lot of runarounds before admitting that a number of users have this problem and they’re working on it.

I tried changing my Battle.net password and trying again after 30 minutes.

I tried using the Guest Pass to register under a new Battle.net account.

It still didn’t work.

I was told it would take days for them to fix. DAYS!!!!!!!

I can’t play the damn game coz it’s my first time running it so I can’t even go offline mode since I haven’t even created my Battle.net character name for Starcraft II.

It. Will. Take. Days. To. Fix. It.

I can feel my fever returning already. Or maybe it’s a heart attack. Or a stroke. Perhaps even a brain herniation. Odds are, it’s all three in one. >.<

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