My no-spoilers review of Episode II – Attack of the Clones

Vedi I Came

Upon arriving at Chadstone, me and my mate Jimmy got something to eat at nudle. I was craving
for some Chinese food but the food courts upstairs were closed so the next best thing is the quasi
Chinese food place near Hoyts. I had Malaysian Chilli Seafood Stir Fry with rice and a chocolate
milkshake. After the meal, we headed over to Hoyts to check out the status of the line, but seeing
not much activity there, we went to Pancake Parlour for dessert. I had a stack of pancakes with
cream and a coffee. When we got back to Hoyts there was a line of people waiting there already so
we got to the back of the line and queued up. Good thing I had my Palm with me so I read my Java
lecture notes which I had the forethought to sync before coming here. There was another guy in
front of me with a Sharp Zaurus and a girl behind me with a red Visor. Pretty good PDA showing
considering Australia doesn’t have a lot of PDA users.

There were two guys beside me with a digital camera and a toy lightsaber that started to shoot
pictures of the line. Upon seeing that, a senior staff member came over and asked that the guy put
away the digicam as no cameras will be allowed in the theatre. However, the staff member did not
want to keep the digicam for the duration of the film because she did not want any liabilities, so
the poor guy had to get out of line to put it in his car. Heh. Anyway, after a long wait, the we
were allowed into the main waiting area. There were three groups of people, the La Premiere room,
Cinema 12 and Cinema 5. Interesting that they opened up 3 screenings when they planned for one. The
La Premiere line is the longest one and also the one with the most security checks. Everyone got
their bags checked before being allowed into the theatre.

There was another long wait outside the theatre, with us sitting on the stairs in a line. The
Hoyts staff begin distributing magazines to the people waiting in line to keep them occupied.
Unfortunately, the only magazines given out were this:

The Australian Women’s Weekly March 2002

Hmm…alright then. At least it kept be busy reading the articles considering I didn’t have the
forethought to charge my Palm batteries and it ran out on me. While waiting in line, I felt the
rumblings of a stomachache. Heh, I should not have eaten the chilli seafood dish on an empty
stomach. I didn’t want to go to the toilet though coz the doors were about to open. After a couple
of minutes, the doors opened and everyone ignored the poor attendent asking to see tickets and
rushed into the theater to secure a good seat. There was a group of guys in front that nearly
started a mini stampede by running into the theatres. :)

Veni I Saw

After a short while, the screen came to life and everyone started clapping…to the Hoyts snack
bar advertisement. =D The usual adverts and trailers ran for 20 minutes while the crowd settled
down. I did see a good Nike advert – it was the steel cage tournament one. Pretty interesting. The
Gamecube one was not bad too. The trailers that ran I’ve mostly seen before from Apple’s trailer
site, but it’s nice to see the Superman one on the big screen. Kirsten Dunst filling up the screen
in the end of the trailer where it was raining on her wasn’t exactly hard on the eyes. ;)

Soon after that, the film started and everyone started cheering and clapping and mimicking the
voices of Star Wars characters. The cinema was filled to capacity and it was a pretty good crowd,
mostly fanboys with about 80% males and 20% females. The movie started with the usual panning up
after the words scrolled up to screen. Natalie Portman seems to have gained a bit of weight in this
film, but she’s gorgeous as usual. I didn’t expect to like Hayden Christensen but I think he did a
pretty good job with this one. Believable chemistry between him and Natalie which is a plus during
the love scenes. I thought it was really, really sweet when Amidala kissed Anakin on the cheek when
she jumped from the pole in the arena.

This film was much better than Episode I, and I am one of the few that liked Episode I, so
that’s saying a lot. :) The music was great, especially during the arena battle. The Jango Fett
storyline is good, gives a bit of back story for him and shows us his fatherly side. The Naboo
scenes are beautiful, I reckon it’s not hard to fall in love in that kind of environment. =D And
Natalie Portman gets some pretty nice outfits *wolf whistle*, I especially liked the one she wore
in that scene with Hayden beside the fireplace. Those things look very perky and firm and pliable.
;)

There is one scene which was quite cheesy though. Perhaps the director didn’t mean it to be so,
but it’s hard to take it seriously when the whole theatre is laughing. The one I mean is the Anakin
nightmare sequence, it comes right after the fireplace scene so all the gutter minds in the theatre
was laughing their asses off. We get to see Anakin’s dark side start to surface in this film. He is
rebellious and confrontational with almost everyone. The visual effects are pretty good, everything
is believable and detailed. I especially liked the arena fight, that was the coolest part of the
film.

All in all, this is a very good film, I expect even non-fans will like it. It develops all the
characters nicely and it’s a great lead up to the third installment, which I am very much looking
forward to. We finally get to see Yoda fight and he’s really good. I expected it to be strange
considering Yoda’s height but he really pulls off some pretty impressive moves and more than held
his own against his opponent. Go see it in the cinemas, the cam DivX and the pirated VCD doesn’t do
this film justice. I give it 5 out of 5 seals.

Funniest line in the film: Obi Wan saying “Anakin, I swear one day you’ll be the death of
me”
(or something to that effect). It had the Star Wars fans laughing while most of the theatre
were probably wondering why we were laughing.

Bye I went back

The movie ended at around 2:30 AM after which I went home. I’m not my usual eloquent self today
(heh), but that’s because it’s nearly 5 now, I’m sleepy, and I still need to finish up my
assignment. I’m glad The Force was with me as I managed to hold my diarrhea until I got home. I
knew I should not have eaten hot stuff on an empty stomach. =D May The Force be with you too, young
Jedi.

Attack of the Clones

I’m heading over to Chadstone Hoyts later to see the premiere of Attack of the Clones. Expect a
review up when I get back at around 02:30 AM + 1000 GMT. :)

Here’s a joke for you people to enjoy:

There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish.

He was saying, “Dam fish for sale, dam fish for sale.”

A preacher walked up and asked why he was calling them dam fish.

The kid said, “I caught them at the dam, so they’re dam fish.”

The preacher bought some, took them home and asked his wife to cook the dam fish.

His wife looked at him in bewilderment and said, “Preachers aren’t supposed to talk like
that.”

The preacher explained why they were dam fish, and she agreed to cook them. When dinner was
ready and everyone was sitting down, the preacher asked his son to pass him the dam fish.

His son replied, “That’s the spirit dad. Pass the f**king potatoes!”

TP Makeover

I was sitting on the toilet bowl going about my business when I happened to notice the backup
roll of toilet paper on the floor. The packaging has changed! To show you all the old and new
packaging, I had to raid the toilet of the floor below (which typically goes through toilet paper
slower than our floor because they have fewer people) because our floor only has the new ones. I
pity the next person downstairs who uses up the toilet paper only to find…NO BACKUP ROLL! I am
evil. =D

The old

The new

Asses? Wrists? Backs? Where am I and what is this place?

More on the chair issue. I’ve already submitted a maintenance request form and I should get my
new chair tomorrow. I have given up on trying to sit on my sofa. It’s not that it’s uncomfortable,
on the contrary, with that pillow, my ass feels like he’s in heaven. It’s just that the books I use
to prop up the chair is small. I do not have a big ass, at least I don’t think so. =D The footprint
of my ass is larger than the books I use so parts of my ass are hanging off the edge. That is Not a
Nice FeelingTM and is liable to cause mild discomfort and a general feeling of ill ease.
Heh. Thus, to rectify this situation, I have swiveled my monitor sideways and as I’m typing this,
I’m sitting on my bed. This is a much more acceptable position, not only to my ass but to my wrists
as well. But now my back hurts coz beds do not have back support. Oh well, you can’t have
everything.

Propped

Well, I was lazy to head over to the operations office today to get my chair fixed so I made do
with the sofa. After a while, typing became a burden due to the sofa being too low relative to the
table so I just used the keyboard from my lap. One of the good things about having a cordless
keyboard. However, that didn’t work so well coz I still had to squint when looking at the monitor
so I propped up my seat with 2 books and my pillow. It feels much better now. My wrists, not my
ass.

Hiraikotsu

Feeling tired of studying, I downloaded and watched Inuyasha episode 65 – Saraba Seishun no Hibi
(Farewell Days of Youth). It aired on YTV (Japan) on the 8th of April, 7 pm. I’ve only watched up
to episode 44 so far, but episode 65 is a filler episode so I figured I won’t miss much by watching
this. It was raw, as in no subtitles. I managed to get the gist of it though. Either my Japanese is
getting better or Inuyasha just uses a lot of the same words. Heh. Being a filler episode, there
isn’t much about the Naraku storyline but it did have a funny scene of Shippo about to be molested
by Inuyasha. =D There are a lot of people who doesn’t like Shippo (the fox demon) but I think he’s
adorable. My favourite character would have be Sango though, she has the best background story and
she looks cool in that Youkai Taijiya outfit.

Mounting evidence that I'm overweight

Man, this is sounds like a script for a bad cartoon. My chair broke when I sat on it just now.
The screws holding the chair snapped on BOTH sides. Someone up there is telling me I need to go on
a diet. That, or I just sat on the chair too hard. =D

The Chair. Red circles showing where the screws gave way.

Close up of the chair. You can see where it snapped.

It drives me crazy!

Nano nano nana nano nano nana nano nano nana nano nano nana

Nano nano nana nano nano nana nano nano nana nano nano na

Nano nano

It drives me crazy

I really love

What it does to meeeee

Sweet, sour and salty

Nano nano

Na na na na nano nanoooooooooooooooooooooo

I have this jingle stuck in my head. It came from the commercials on TV when I was around 12.
It’s those sweets from Indonesia with funky flavors like Hot Pineapple. It’s a testament to viral
marketing that I can still remember the lyrics after 10 years.

Dumb people

Ah…I finally installed Windows XP Professional on my computer. This came with an enterprise
key so there is no activation. At least I don’t have to put up with Windows Me crashing on me every
hour. Seriously, it does not like my system and that’s really how often it crashes. Anyway, I’ve
ploughed through one of the Java books I borrowed from the library and now I’m going to finish up
my Java assignment.

Thought of the day: I have lost faith in the intelligence of the general population.
People are gullible…say something like “SOME FUCKING RICH CORPORATION WILL SEND 20000000000 CENTS
FOR EVERY TIME THIS MAIL IS FORWARDED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IF YOU DON’T FORWARD THIS
YOU DON’T HAVE A FUCKING HEART!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE FORWARD THIS TO EVERY FUCKING PERSON IN YOUR
CONTACT LIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” and people will start
forwarding the chain mail left, right and center. Never mind that there’s no way to track every
email (unless that someone is the NSA). Never mind that this has been proven as a hoax email. Get a
grip people. There is *GASP* no little girl with a hole in her heart/cancer/some weird
disease waiting for your 2 cents to have an operation. There is *GASP* no company tracking
the emails and donating 2 cents to that little girl. If you believe everything you read, I’ve got a
nice island I’m willing to part with for the low, low price of $1000 dollars. And I’ll throw in a
couple of coconut trees with that as well, if you ACT NOW. Please mail me to get my
anonymous PO Box mail address where I can abscond with your money and disappear without a
trace.

This is what I've been up to today

Finals are less than a month away. I’ve resorted to “counting time” to get my revision done
before the finals. It works like this. It doesn’t matter what time you sleep or wake up, but make
sure that there is at least 16 hours between the time you wake up and the time you sleep again.
Like for instance, I woke up at 3 pm today. That means I’ll have to wait until 7 am to sleep again.
That way I don’t shaft myself by sleeping too much. =D

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