Would you like some methanol in your liquor sir?
Hello there, you’re reading sixthseal.com – the weblog where we go
to great lengths to provide quality reviews about stuff that you might
not want to try. Today, we will be focusing on Arrack Putih Cap Langkau
– the ghetto liquor brewed in Sibu, Sarawak. Buatan Malaysia, ini! Very
local too.
We used to call this Chap Langjiaw for reasons which would be
obvious if you tasted this fine product of my home state. It retails
for the low, low price of RM 5 for 570 ml of about 30% alcohol. I said
about because the distillery does not know exactly what proof the
alcohol content is at, so it just put +- beside that sign. We do not
have those newfangled thingies to measure alcohol content in Sibu, you
see.
Back to where Chap Langkau got its nickname, look at the fine
quality of the product. No, that is not an optical illusion, you saw it
right. The liquor is made and poured into empty Tiger beer bottles!
That’s how ghetto Cap Langkau is. Sharikat Peng Guang Pengarakan Sdn
Bhd is very big on recycling and they take environmental issues seriously and reuse what they can.
I’ve seen it come in various beer bottles, but the similar thing
about it is, it always has the Cap Langkau label slapped on the front,
the distillery’s bottle cap and a free cup covering the top. I shit you
not, I did not put that cup on top of the bottle, all Chap Langkau
liquor bottles comes with one complimentary plastic cup (the colors may
vary, but the size is similar). This is to show that the company cares
about its clientele and like sixthseal.com, their aim is to please. 😉
Basically, once you open it, you need to drink the whole thing since
it’s not resealable. However, we do not shirk away from potential
methanol induced end organ damage from dodgy breweries to provide you
this fine review so…wait…hang on, shit I think I’m going blind!
All kidding aside, it comes with a full money back guarantee – if
the product causes any damage as a result of fudged distillation
processes resulting in product contamination, they basically give you
your RM 5 back. 😉
Bottoms up!
Okay, okay I’ll be serious now. 🙂 I’ll say the alcohol content is
around the 30-40% mark, maybe with some added methanol to keep prices
low and drinkers high. 😉 We used to say they choose to name it langkau
as in the Hokkien phrase “lim kau lu lang kau”. I’ll tell you one thing
about these motherfuckers though…they’ll give you one hell of a
hangover.
P/S – In all seriousness, my personal advice would be to avoid these
home brewed liquors (moonshine, if you will). It smells like paint
thinner, it tastes like paint thinner. It probably has some
paint thinner in it. :p I get more fucked up on this than branded 40%
liquors. RM 100 says the methanol content in these things exceeds
industry standards. Methanol is the less benign relative of ethanol and
is not a good thing to consume. It’s a stupid thing we used to drink as
poor teenagers but as a working adult, you probably would want to avoid
it except for experimental purposes. The inebriation this white liquor
induces is unsurpassed by regulated liquors so that might appeal to
some experimental users. This was the first time since I was 19 or so
that I’ve revisited this liquor and I do not wish to attempt it again.
But another notorious brand (Cap Apek) awaits…full review soon.
*sigh* My poor brain cells…
