30 minute crispy noodles

30 min crispy noodles

This plate of crispy noodles took 30 minutes to arrive. I was having
lunch with a co-worker and we both had to go to the bank so we ordered
crispy noodles, which is probably the fastest turnaround dish since the
kolo mee stall it having an off day. Crispy noodles are the pre-fried
noodles that comes…well, crispy and the cook just needs to prepare
the sauce and pour it over the noodles. It’s a really good noodle dish,
the contrast of the crispy and soggy noodles with the hot sauce
combines to create an unusual but tasty texture. The thing about crispy
noodles is, it doesn’t get soggy unless you purposely push it down into
the sauce.

Anyway, back to the long turnover, it was due to a large family
(complete with elders, heaps of young children and the obligatory
Indonesian maid) taking up two big tables and ordering heaps of food. I
think there should be a law banning these diners from eating at places
frequented by office workers during lunch hour.

Cheap prepaid reload cards

howee me crown 1

I went to Crown Square just now to meet up with Hau Ee. She’s from
Sibu as well – I remember a bunch of us going for supper at Taman
Harmoni the previous time I was back home. Anyway, she told me she’ll
be in Kuching for a couple of days and I’ve been meaning to get the
discounted cell phone reload cards off her, so off I went. From what I
understand, it’s an annual commitment for pre-paid cell phone cards
(across all mobile operators in Malaysia) where you choose the plan you
want (according to your cell phone usage needs) and you get the coupon
codes every month at a highly discounted rate.

I’m not sure if I got that exactly right…she explained the plans
to me, but I was so scattered today that I could hardly comprehend what
she said. It’s Sunday today and that means it’s the last day of my
high-intensity weekend warrior run. High-intensity runs (constant and
compulsive maintenance of peak plasma concentrations, no food,
dehydrating conditions) tend to deep fry the brain towards the end.

It also didn’t help that I consumed massive amounts of clonazepam,
nitrazepam, alprazolam and lorazepam to chemically accelerate hypnotic
activity so I could turn in earlier tonight. The benzodiazepine
combination hit me harder than I expected, though I wasn’t aware of
that, and placidly cruised to town while downright sedated. I only
realized that my reflexes were impaired when I nearly drove up a curb
while making the U-turn that I take everyday and skidded (it was
raining and the roads were slippery) after going into a corner too fast.

I made sure that I was ultra careful after that and reached the
destination and back without any vehicular collisions. Heh. Anyway, I
reckon this spot is where I’m supposed to insert the obligatory harm
minimization message to urge people under the influence to avoid
driving. ;) Well, like I said, the combination made me scattered and
higher level thought processes were affected so I had a really hard
time understanding how the discounted pre-paid cards work.

howee prepaid plan

Anyway, I finally gathered that there is an upfront fee (the annual
plan rate) and you can resell the reload coupons that you don’t use to
someone else e.g. you can sell the unused ones if you didn’t make a lot
of calls that month and thus have surplus cards. It sounded like a good
idea, except that I don’t use my cell phone all that much, and I’m too
lazy to sell any remainder cards to other people. :)

Thus, I didn’t go for the annual plan and just got a RM 50 Digi
prepaid coupon off her. I still have credit in my cell phone, since I
usually make outgoing calls from my house phone. I don’t remember the
last time I reloaded my cell phone, but it was barred today coz the 3
month validity period was over, so I can receive calls but not make
outgoing calls. The system Digi uses allows you a fairly long grace
period and you don’t lose the existing unused credit you had before the
validity period expired.

The existing credit is just stacked back on when you reload, adding
the balance to the new value. The validity expired today, so I just got
a single reload coupon off her, instead of opting for the cheaper
annual plan, since I don’t use my cell phone that much. I still need to
reload though, since a phone that doesn’t allow outgoing calls rather
defeats the purpose of having a cell in the first place. :)

howee me crown 2
L-R: How Ee, Huai Bin (me).

Excuse me, dear readers…I’ll have to reply the comments tomorrow. Sleep beckons me…

Lotte Black Black Wake Up Gum

lotte black black

This is the illustrious Lotte Black Black chewing gum – the caffeine
gum from Japan. Except this one isn’t made in Japan…it’s manufactured
in Indonesia. I remember the Japanese Lotte Black Black imports the
Asian grocery store used to carry when I was in Melbourne. I thought it
was alright – caffeine gums! It didn’t do much for me though, since I
used to take No-Doz (100 mg caffeine tablets) like candy so I have a
tolerance to caffeine.

lotte wake up gum

I haven’t seen Lotte Black Black gum in Malaysia though, and I was
surprised to see them at Ting & Ting’s. Lotte Black Black Wake Up
Gum retails for RM 0.65. This version is packed in a cardboard box
instead of the normal chewing gum stick format. It also has a prominent
Wake Up Gum sign in the middle, as can be seen in the photo above.

lotte black black zzz

They even had the sheer audacity to put this image at the back of the packet. Zzz stopped short by a universal “No” sign.
Hmph…we’ll see…
I’m the reviewer from hell when it comes to evaluating products with
stimulant properties and outrageous claims like this tend to elicit an
unfavorable response.
What do they put inside? Methamphetamine?

It turns out that it’s just plain old tame caffeine. Pfffttttt…

lotte black black caffeine

I did notice a difference between the Japan made ones and the
Indonesian made ones though. The Lotte Black Black from Japan lists
caffeine, gingko extract and some other ingredients which I can’t
remember. The Indonesian ones that we get here doesn’t have that many
items, and it lists coffee instead of caffeine as the active ingredient.

lotte black black chewing gum

Anyway, I opened the pack and found 8 pellets of gum, which looked
rather crusty and had white discoloring on the surface of each coated
gum. I popped all of them and chewed…and waited…and waited…and
waited. I am forced to conclude that the caffeine content in these gums
from Indonesia is very low and practically undetectable. Please do
yourself a favor and buy a cup of coffee instead.

I rate Lotte Black Black Wake Up Gum (Indonesia) as a completely
worthless product with no redeeming features. Hell, I would have fallen
asleep during the taste test if it weren’t for the administration of a
superior stimulant (which will not be named since it’s irrelevant to
the review) to keep myself awake.

Wake up gum, my ass…

Photo of me jacking off (Work Warning!)

jacking off

Here’s a photo of me after I did battle with the purple helmeted
warrior. Astute readers can see that there are tell tale stains on my
shirt. Here at sixthseal.com, we always try to push the boundaries of
good taste…though a little smudge was done around the exposed pubic
area to avoid offending the more sensitive ones amongst us. ;)

Anyway, masturbation seems to be a seldom talked about topic. No one
seems to be volunteering information about beating the bishop, charming
the serpent, choking the chicken, cracking the bat, disciplining the
soldier, loading the cannon, adjusting the antenna, working overtime at
the meat factory and all that.

Well, since I’m bored, I’ll kick off this topic…my views on taking
things into your your own hands *cough* is that most people do it, and
the rest are lying. You could be in the most physically gratifying
relationship in the world and still long for some solo action, where
you don’t have any obligation to please anyone but yourself.

Personally, I don’t get in touch with my manhood, so to speak, that
often. Heavy benzodiazepine therapy pretty much culls any thoughts that
could lead to arousal before they begin. I usually spank the monkey
about once a week, when I tweak. Anyway, before anyone asks me why I
fly solo, it’s because I’m already in a relationship.

I also have a phobia about STD’s so I don’t go hunting…I’ll rather tenderize the meat steak myself any day… ;)

Update: I realize that the content of this post may have
offended certain people and it was irresponsible for me to put this up
in the first place. Please, accept my sincere apologies [sixthseal.com].

Krazy quiz bonanza

krazy quiz bonanza

I’m going to do something I haven’t done since the start of this
blog – I’m actually going to do them 20 question type quizzes! I’ll
grab a couple from my Friendster bulletin board and do them as quick as
I can. Why? I fear that if I stop thinking, my brain will explode. On
with the quizzes!

1. NAME: Huai Bin

2. DO YOU THINK YOU’RE NORMAL: It would be a stretch to claim that I am…in plain English, no.

3. DO PEOPLE FIND YOU STRANGE: That’s what they always tell me.

4. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD: It depends on when you ask me…the faith
in a divine creator is linked to the simple physics equation that
dictates force in relation to speed and mass.
Let’s assume that force (faith in God) is constant (well, there was a
study that suggests the human brain is wired to believe in a superior
divine being…), so speed and mass are the influential denominators.
Thus, if force is constant, pushing an apple would be easier than
pushing a watermelon. This is because speed and mass is inversely
proportional.

This example also can be used literally. The more…er, speed, shall we say, is involved, the less likely I will be going to mass (church service) because that would be…well, a drag
(refer to force). Thus, the more speed I have, the less mass I’ll need
to achieve force (in this case, I probably think I’m God). I haven’t
really tested this out in the other direction though, I loathe to think
of sitting through mass.

However, if I’m sober when you ask me, I’ll just say “Yes” to make you go away.

5. DO YOU SING A LOT: Yes. I dare say that some of my exultations
would not be classified as “singing” though. I broke into song just
this evening, I was so excited about the shimmering prism waiting for
me at home…I savagely butchered through the lyrics of what I call Track 8 from Umph in guttural loud growls while thumping
on the steering wheel. I was so into it, I was SHOUTING “LA LA LA LA LA
LA, HEY, PUSH IT HARDER! I’M ON A MISSION! DA DA DA DA DUM! ONE TWO
THREE…” and I turned to the left, where there was a man driving his
wife and daughter home, and the daughter was positively gaping at me
while her mom nudged her so she won’t stare. That’s how loud I was
singing…people in other cars hear me. I didn’t miss a beat and
SCREAMED “KICK IT! LA LA LA I’M ON A MISSION!” so hard it probably
contorted my face into monster like proportions because I made them
jump. I was still pounding away at the steering wheel as I drove away
from the apparently immobilized vehicle.

Ask them if I was singing?

6. DO YOU BACKSTAB: I don’t. I’ll say it in front of your face.

7. ARE YOU A GOOD FRIEND: No, I’m afraid not.

8. ARE YOU IN LOVE: This question is rather ambiguous…it doesn’t
state the object of affection. Please ask “…with rocks?”, “with your
girlfriend?”, or something like that.

9. ARE YOU YOUNG: 23. To use a cliche, I’ve learnt a lot and I still have a lot to learn.

10. EVER BEEN A LEADER OF SOMETHING: Yes, lots of things. All of them unsavory.

11. EVER KILLED A LIVING CREATURE: I think the question would be
better phrased as “killed someone”. Who hasn’t killed a “living
creature”?

12. LAST ODD THING DONE: This quiz. I haven’t done this in a long time and I’m not the type to do it.

13. DO YOU WEAR MAKE-UP: Last time I wore makeup was for a class production…so, no.

14. DO YOU REBEL: I would for a good cause. Even for a bad one. ;)

15. EVER STARTED A FIRE: What is this? Questions for children or
people of under average intelligence? Yes, I have started a fire. I
like fires. Ignition, they call it an obsession, but I think it’s kinda
bitchin’, I think it’s kinda neat!
The question would be better phrased as “Ever committed arson?”

16. DO YOU THINK YOU’RE EVIL: Everyone has the potential to be evil,
under the right circumstances. Man is inherently evil, and don’t you
think otherwise. You can be evil too.

I’m not though. I don’t think I am anyway.

17. DO YOU LIKE LYING: No. It’s inevitable that you’ll get caught up
in it. It is sometimes necessary though. Just ask veritas. Oh what a
tangled web we weave, when we conspire to conceive.

Please don’t correct me on that quote. I know it’s not how it really goes. I like this version just fine. Let it be.

18. DO YOU REGRET: Regrets, I’ve had a few. I don’t think about them
though…I technically can’t, since I’m on high dose benzodiazepine
therapy. It’s very easy to forget things. Just take a fistful of Xanax.

19. DO YOU HAVE A BESTFRIEND: I guess he does fit the definition “best friend” the most…

20. DO PEOPLE HATE YOU: Yes. I don’t give a fuck though. You can’t expect everyone to like you.

21. DO YOU HATE PEOPLE: Of course. I hate a lot of people.

22. CAN YOU KILL SOMEBODY: Hmm…I place little value on the human
life…so yes, I will if the situation warrants it. I’ll only do it for
a good reason (pissing me off is a good one) and if I’m fairly sure
I’ll get away with it. Or for self-defense. A lot of people confuse
“can” and “will”. It’s one thing to think you can and freeze up when the moment comes. It’s another thing to know that you will

23. DO YOU CUT YOURSELF?: Nope. Why waste the energy when there’s plenty of people out there who’s willing to do it for you? ;)

24. EVER TASTED BLOOD: Yes. Tastes like chicken. Oh wait…blood, you said? That tastes like metallic water.

25. DO YOU CARE WHAT OTHERS MAY THINK OF YOU?: I think everyone does
to a certain extent. I don’t care about the opinions of people I don’t
like, but I do care about the opinions of people I like. Well, a couple
of them anyway.

26. EVER DONE ANYTHING OCCULT: That is so adolescent angst type
behavior…been there, done that, bought the T-shirt, and it says “The
occult – Admission only for kids 14 years and below”.
What? Do you think chanting paeans to Satan to bring misfortune over
your enemy while killing a goat will get you anywhere? Just take your
knife and do it yourself, pussy.

27. ARE YOU GOTHIC: Gothic people are lame. Please see #26 for the reasons.
“The world is a depressing dark void?”
I heard that real Goths (haha) commit suicide. Are you hardcore enough, goth?
The final exit?
Dare you do it?
A) Yes
Bye.
B) No
Bitch…please, you’re not goth, STFU and go away.

28. CONSUME DRUGS: I don’t need to answer this, I presume. It’s pretty obvious that I do.

29. WHAT DO YOU WEAR: I like to wear pajama pants. I can’t wear it all the time though.

30. YOUR SKIN COLOR: I’m Chinese. Does that make me yellow? I don’t have jaundice.

31. DO YOU LIKE THE SUN: Hell, no. It brings into stark relief what
the darkness hides. It also brings out the Shadow People and makes me
disoriented. Go away.

33 .HAVE YOU LOST SOMEONE YOU LOVE: Hmm…I’ve been dumped before, if that’s what it means.

34. HOW DOES GRIEF FEEL:
GRIEF FEELS GOOD!
Oh, grief…I thought this was a trick question, asking about some
random guy called GRIEF. Well, grief doesn’t feel all that good, so I
suggest leveraging modern pharmacology and make grief go away with the
various substances that the wonderful world of chemistry has given us:
1. TO FORGET
Benzodiazepines
2. TO IGNORE
Methamphetamine
3. TO NOT CARE
Heroin

Things to avoid:
1. MDMA
May greatly exacerbate grief during the comedown.
2. Alcohol
Because you’ll regret it the next day.

Things which may work:
1. Psychedelics which are not emphatogens
LSD/magic mushrooms to make you reflect on your grief and deal with it.
Ketamine to dissociate yourself from grief. Both to scare yourself
grief-less.

35. YOUR ROLE MODEL: I don’t have one.

36. YOUR HEART DESIRES TO BE WITH WHOM: The one who can save me,
rehabilitate me and walk with me down the right path. The loyal,
fiercely loving and protective savior who can pull me up from the one
way spiral downwards. Hail Mary!

37. YOUR LISTENING TO: Feng tau music at a volume which will cause
auditory damage on extended periods of exposure. You have to shout a
bit to get my attention.

38. DO HATE YOURSELF: Heh. It’s funny, this question cropping up. Yeah, I guess I do, or else I won’t be so self-destructive.

39. DID THIS QUIZ MAKE SENSE: I’ve never seen one that does. It was
great knowing you though, you gave me a chance to say things I normally
won’t blog about.

40. PARTING WORDS: For God sent his Son to lead the wild into the ways of the Man…follow me!

41. WHO DO FEEL LIKE KILLING RIGHT NOW?: I can think of a couple of
people off the top of my head, but no way I’m telling, this might be
construed as evidence for premeditated murder if the worse should
happen. ;)

Next!

I don’t know if this is meant for substituting the letter of the
alphabet for something else or using the same form words, but
precedence seems to suggest it’s a pre-formed quiz, so here goes:

A – Age: 23

B – Band listening to right now: It’s not a band…feng tau music.

C – Career in future: A job that pays me an obscene amount of money to do nothing.

D – Dad’s name: It’s the same as mine, Mr. Poh.

E – Easiest person to talk to: Ah Boon

F – Favorite song at the moment: Moonlight Shadow from a feng tau compilation. It’s very uplifting.

The last that ever she saw him,
Carried away by a moonlight shadow.
He passed on worried and warning,
Carried away by a moonlight shadow.
Lost in a river last Saturday night,
Far away on the other side.
He was caught in the middle of a desperate fight,
And she couldn’t find how to push through.

G – Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms: Worms. Bears are harder to eat.

H – Hometown: Sibu, Sarawak.

I – Instruments: I did piano till Grade 4, memorized some strings on an electric guitar. That’s it.

K – Kids: I don’t think I’ll be a good parent at this stage in my life…

L – Longest car ride ever (longest trip by car): From Sibu to
Kuching and back up right to Kota Kinabalu, passing Brunei and back
down again. The kilometer count goes well into the four digits.

M – Mom’s name: Mrs. Poh, like mine, except she has a Mrs instead of a Mr suffix.

N – Number of siblings: 1 – “my doctor sister”, as I like to call her.

P – Phobia[s]: Getting infected with HIV, spiders, etc. etc. I’ll still be here writing if I’m going to put everything down.

Q – Favorite Quote(s): Condemnant quod non intellegunt. It’s Latin for “They condemn because they do not understand”.

R – Reason to smile: Crystal.

S – Song you sang last: That moonlight shadow song.

T – Time you wake up: I did not go to sleep and I don’t plan to.
However, the answer is 7:06 AM on normal weekdays. I don’t sleep in the
weekend.

U – Unknown fact about me: I was so vain I had three facial moles
removed by a surgeon (who charged RM 100 each) when I was 13 and two
more when I was 17. I didn’t want to go to a quack doctor, so I went to
a real surgeon who did proper incisions and stitches. There you
go…bet you didn’t know that.

V – Vegetable you hate: I don’t like most vegetables…

W – Worst habit: Choosing the path of least resistance when it comes
to my substance dependency…and you know which way that is…

X – X-rays you’ve had: I’ve had several…first one was for my
application for PR (Permanent Residence) status in New Zealand when I
was 13.

Y – Yummy food: Chinese.

Z – Zodiac sign: Aries. The first sun sign in the zodiac. The color
of Aries is usually red, and that reflects in the blog design. I think
the best phrase that I found sums up my personality is this column
where it said to Aries – “You like extremes.”

This one is fitting too:

Adventurous and energetic
Pioneering and courageous
Enthusiastic and confident
Dynamic and quick-witted

Selfish and quick-tempered
Impulsive and impatient
Foolhardy and daredevil

Traditional Aries traits.

Next! Oh, and last!

FAVORITE name?
Natalie

FAVORITE number?
3 and 5

FAVORITE time of the day?
5 o’ clock onwards…

FAVORITE friend?
I don’t have a “favorite” one, people change, friendships change, the
answer would be different the next time you ask, so there’s no point in
answering this.

FAVORITE weather?
Cold, cold, cold. ;)

FAVORITE enemy?
I have the same answer to this one as to the “FAVORITE friend” question. These things are too dynamic.

FAVORITE hobby?
Tweaking, writing while tweaking, just tweaking, tweaking with tweaking, and oh, tweaking.

FAVORITE color?
Red. Black runs a close second though.

FAVORITE food?
Sheesh, don’t ask me now, everything sounds bad to me. No food! Food is bad. Urgh…

FAVORITE expression?
Tabula rasa. Literally. That’s “blank slate” for the three of you who didn’t know. Yeah, you, don’t look away.

FAVORITE website?
sixthseal.com ;)

FAVORITE book/magazine/newspaper?
Well, I’ve considered many books to be my favorite books in their time. It’s another unanswerable question.

FAVORITE song?
I don’t like it per se, but it’s the perfect theme song to my life.

Green Day – Geek Stink Breath

I’m on a mission
I made my decision to lead a path of self destruction

A slow progression
Killing my complexion and it’s rotting out my teeth…

I’m on a roll
No self control
I’m blowing off steam with methamphetamine

Well, I don’t know what I want
That’s just all that I’ve got…
And I’m picking scabs off my face…

Every hour my blood is turning sour
And my pulse is beating out of time
I found a treasure filled with sick pleasure, and it sits on a thin white line

I’m on a mission
I got no decision
Like a cripple running the rat race

Wish in one hand, shit in the other, and see which one gets filled first.

FAVORITE resto/fastfood/coffee shop?
I can just eat anywhere when I want to eat…I’m not a picky eater.

FAVORITE holiday/occasion?
Chinese New Year.

FAVORITE thing/possession?
Digital camera.

FAVORITE exgirlfriend/exboyfriend?
Oh, I’m not going to touch this one with a foot long pole…

FAVORITE get-up?
Slacks, t-shirt and sneakers.

FAVORITE past-time?
Figuring out ways to overcome sobriety.

FAVORITE place?
Right now? It’s in this chair, in my room. I don’t want to move.

FAVORITE brand of JEANS?
Quiksilver. Just coz of the reasons I bought them – ran out of clothes on top of Mt Buller while skiing and snowboarding.

FAVORITE TV show?
I don’t watch TV.

FAVORITE radio station?
I don’t listen to the radio…

FAVORITE embarrassment?
The time I went on a high dose shrooms trip and took a hit of nitrous
oxide and achieved total mind-body separation. Those are fancy words
for “the time I embarrassed myself in front of innumerable strangers
and friends while totally fucked up on magic mushrooms”.

FAVORITE gift that you received?
I don’t have one…but it’ll always make me happy when it’s from someone unexpected.

FAVORITE member of the family?
Hmm…I don’t know…they’re all great in their own way.

FAVORITE gift that you gave to someone?
My trust.

FAVORITE person (last month)?
I really can’t think of any…

FAVORITE person (at present)?
It’s hard to think of one…I’ll go for Ah Boon, he has this knack of knowing when I’m in the mood to talk.

FAVORITE fad/craze nowadays?
Beats the shit out of me…I don’t follow fads or crazes.

FAVORITE game?
Seizure Chicken. It’s this game where low seizure threshold people
(like benzodiazepine dependant people) increase their chances of a
seizure by taking a substance that lowers the seizure threshold further
(like crystal methamphetamine). It’s like playing chicken with a
seizure…you basically tweak for as long as possible while not taking
benzos. Fun, fun, fun!

WHAT IS YOUR WISH?
World peace.
Yeah right, fuck that altruistic shit.
I want people to remember me for the great things I did (which numbers at zero, on last count) after I die.

Last words:
For God said He would send His one begotten Son to lead the wild into the ways of the man…follow me…
Eat my flesh, flesh and be my flesh…
Come with me…
Hail Mary!

EPF, SOCSO and SPT (the little known tax) for Dummies

fattest paycheck

I have just received my paycheck for May – the fattest legitimate
check I’ve ever received, at RM 1,992.25. Yes, this is the monthly
sixthseal.com financial transparency post again. ;) Anyway, my salary
is RM 2,200 (just got a RM 200 pay increase) but to understand the
culling that occurs before you receive your check, there are three
concepts that you need to understand – EPF, SOCSO and the obscure SPT.

EPF is a “forced savings” scheme which is mandatory for all
Malaysian employers and employees. Basically, a certain percent of your
monthly paycheck goes into this fund. The current employee contribution
is 9% though that will change back to 11% in a couple of months. The
employer contribution is 11%.

SOCSO is basically a social security cum insurance contribution
which ensures you against accidents in the workplace. For example, if
the keyboard somehow zaps you while you’re working and you get chronic
convulsive disorders as a result of that, SOCSO will pay you every day
and give you free clonazepam every day too.

SPT is the tax that’s calculated after the net pay. Thus, I
sharpened my math skillz (which is only done on rare occasions, like
during paycheck calculations ;)) and figured out the deductions.
Actually, I didn’t have to, since the pay slip states it out pretty
clearly.

Base salary = RM 2,200

My EPF contribution = RM 198
That’s 9% of RM 2,200

My employer’s EPF contribution = RM 264
That’s 11% of RM 2,200

The total EPF a.k.a. “forced savings” per month = RM 198 + RM 264 = RM 462
Thus, I can be assured that no matter what I do, there’s RM 462
automatically saved (doesn’t really work that way, but just to make it
easier to understand).

Now, for the SOCSO bit, my contribution is RM 9.75.

Thus, RM 2,200 – RM 198 – RM 9.75 = RM 1,992.25

That’s not the end of it either. Going back to the final tax,
there’s another little known levy for certain employees called the
Special Pleasures Tax (SPT).

The SPT is different for different people.

The ones amongst us who indulges in the paid pleasures of the flesh have to pay Sexual Pleasures Tax (SPT).
Those of us who would rather go clubbing are taxed with the Saturday Party Tax (SPT).
The cigarette and cigar smokers will have to pay the Smokers Premium Tax (SPT).
The alcohol imbibing population is confronted with the Sobering Piss Tax (SPT).
The lovers of the green will have to pay the Stoner Population Tax (SPT)
The Caucasian community here is hit with the Sarong Party Tax (SPT) for their weekend trysts with the locals.

The few and frugal amongst us, who considers the bottom line as fun
however, is lucky enough to call it the Savings Premium Tax (SPT),
which goes back into their account and collects interest.

What is my SPT? It’s called the Shimmering Prism Tax (SPT), which is amongst the highest levies of them all.

spt tax

I’m not going to tell you how much the Shimmering Prism Tax costs,
but it’s a shocker when you sit down and think about it. It’s quite
sobering, really…I’m going to slowly opt out of it now…

It’s one fuck of a tax, this SPT. It’s no wonder some call it the Super Powerful Tax (SPT).

So…what is your SPT?

Hard! Hard! Mi Goreng

hard hard mi goreng perisa ketam

This inappropriately named snack was found at a grocery store near
my workplace today. It says Hard Hard Mi Goreng Perisa Ketam, or Hard
Hard Crab Flavored Fried Noodles.

hard hard logo

This is what the Hard Hard logo looks like. It rather resembles a
phallic structure with some sheath over it, presumably to avoid er…crabs. The logo even has shows having its cap “blown off” the top, so to speak.

hard hard keropok

This is what Hard Hard keropok looks like. We now know that it not only has crabs, but genital warts as well…

However, I’m rather dubious about marketing crab infested and wart
filled phalluses (phalli?) as edible material towards children. This is
a very dangerous precedent to instill towards young, impressionable
minds. I think I’ll write a letter to the Consumers Association of
Malaysia to convey my concerns about this disquieting product. Excuse
me…

Sahip brandy

sahip

Sahip brandi (brandy) is another locally made “compounded brandy”.
It retails for RM 20.60 and can be recognized by the prominent Sikh
riding on a horse label. The brandy contains 40% alcohol. I’m not a big
fan of Sahip though…the “fusel oil smell” is particularly strong and
I associate that smell with cheap liquor. Anyway, if you don’t know
what fusel oil smells like, buy some lacquer from your local hardware
shop and have a good whiff. ;)

sahip brandy

Well, beggars can’t be choosers, so let’s move on to the non-taste
related characteristics of this locally distilled brandy. It’s made in
Selangor by Vintage Jaya Sdn. Bhd. The effects are rather pleasant, and
this is nice and chuggable if you ignore the fusel oil. It will get you
the ethanol effects that you’re after…at a relatively cheap price.
However, if you balk at the smell of fusel oil in your drink, you’ll
probably want to avoid this. It’s pretty common with certain distilled
liquors and Sahip is one of them.

Canned oysters

canned smoked oysters

I’ve always wondered about oysters in a tin…are they any good? I
decided to get one to address this pressing question. This is S&W Fancy Whole Smoked Oysters
from Korea. I can understand canned fish…but I’ve always thought
whether canned oysters would taste the same as fresh ones, or at least
bear some resemblance to it.

canned oysters package

It comes in a small flat tin inside a cardboard insert. It costs RM
9.80. The back of the packaging read “S&W Smoked Oysters – Simply
Wonderful. A tasty snack specially selected and smoked over sweet woods
for a delicate flavor”. Hmm…we’ll see.

smoked oysters tin

The actual flat tin is unremarkable – there are no marks on it, just a plain container, with a pull up ring.

here be oysters
Here be oysters…

eat smoked oysters

It didn’t look all that good to me. The oysters are squashed pretty
tightly inside the tin, packed like…er, sardines in a can. I ate a
couple.

mmm oysters

The ones in the middle are rather brittle in texture, and I would
not have associated it with oysters if it was a blind taste test. The
ones towards the side of the can, however, maintain the springy and
moist texture I associate with mollusks. I wonder if this anomaly is
due to the canning and preservation process.

oysters good

Nevertheless, I pronounce canned oysters as Good. It may not
look so good, but at least it tasted somewhat like smoked oysters. I’m
not a big fan of canned food, but this one is alright – it adheres to
the smoked oyster taste and texture.

Black Kingdom: Chapter 5 – "Chink, go back home!"

Sam had disappeared. He said something about having to get away from
everything for a while and Victoria told me he’s not likely to come
back for at least a couple of weeks. I guess Sam was the one who’s “my
friend” in that group, because I started declining suggestions to go
out when he wasn’t here. It didn’t feel the same without Sam, for some
reason.

chink go back home

Anyway, one day Tom came up to me and asked me whether I wanted to
watch a movie at Hoyts in the city. I was a bit puzzled coz I don’t
remember him liking English movies. I didn’t ask him about that
though…and it didn’t matter anyway, coz he told me when we took the
bus to the city. He confided that he wanted to improve his English
proficiency to get Kiwi chicks and asked if I could help him out. Well,
I don’t mind, though it proved to be very challenging, since his literacy level was in the lower percentile, compared to his ESL class.

He had thought that watching movies would be a good start – by
exposing himself to conversations by people who speaks English as their
first language. I also started talking to him in English, and this took
a sizable chuck of conversation time since I basically had to translate
things twice. I remember watching George of the Jungle and Star Wars: A
New Hope (they re-released the re-mastered and digitally enhanced film)
back to back and by the time we walked back, it was close to midnight.

I was still tutoring him on English as we walked down the street
when he suddenly asked, “Are they talking about us?”. I looked around
and didn’t see anyone except this group of people who just came out of
a bar and puzzled, I turned back to him and asked who he was going on
about. He gestured at the group. I didn’t pay attention to them before,
so I started listening. I did not hear anything unusual, apart from the
general inebriated chattering of friends after a drinking session.

“I’m sure they’re laughing at us”, he said insistently. I listened
but I still don’t hear anything about us. I stopped and said, “Look if
you’re so bothered about them, we’ll just let them pass and then you
stop being so paranoid”. This apparently wasn’t a very wise thing to do
because the other group was just behind us, and, having their reflexes
impaired by alcohol, bumped into me. The guy that did so nearly spilled
his bottle of beer and promptly stepped back to avoid spillage.

“Hey, watch it”, he muttered indignantly.

“Sorry”, I said. I looked at their group – there were three guys and
two girls, locals. Tom told me in Mandarin, “Why are you saying sorry?
Let’s beat up those people, they were laughing at us, I’m sure. Let’s
beat them up.”

I told him not to be stupid, we can’t win this fight and they didn’t do anything wrong anyway, and I did
make the guy bump into me. He wouldn’t give it a rest though, he kept
on wanting to fight them. I later learnt that Tom is very sensitive
about laughter. I noticed that the guy standing the furthest away from
me looked like he wanted some trouble too. Sure enough, infused with
Dutch courage and suffering from Ethanol Ears, he loudly asked me
whether I did it on purpose.

Now, this person had attempted to elevate the situation. I didn’t
want to get into a fight just to entertain this guy. Oh, and we were
outnumbered, unarmed and overpowered (gauging from the size of the
three men). ;) I didn’t want feel like I was intimidated either, so I
ignored the guy trying to instigate matters and looked at the guy who
just bumped into me. I figured it was just between the two of us. “Nah,
mate. It was an accident, didn’t hear you coming from behind”, I told
him and smiled casually.

He shrugged and said “No worries”, and he led his girlfriend down
the street again. His friends followed his lead, and it seemed that
that was that…until the Dutch guy, whom I presume is one of his
friends, turned back as he was walking away and sneered:

“Chink, go back home!”

I said it before I could think of the consequences. Things started
going at fast forward now, I saw myself walking up to them and shouting
“What did you say, you motherfucker?” and all of sudden Tom was asking
me “He called us chinks, didn’t he? I know what that means! Let’s get
him!” and I was picking up a bottle from the side of the road and
shouting “Hey, white thrash, where’s the fire? Can’t wait to get back
to fuck your sheep eh?” and then two of the guys stopped while the
third was dragged off by his girlfriend, saying “Let’s just go, honey”.

The world started to return to normal time and I found myself
standing in front of two visibly pissed off guys who were much taller
than me, not to mention much larger than me. The remaining girl looked
like she won’t mind having a go at me as well…and I realized that
she’s not the only one. I saw the bouncer at a club nearby looking at
me in an unfriendly manner and several passer-bys glared at me. Oops…

I’ll be honest with you and tell you that I was already regretting
my impulsive manifestation of anger. I looked over at Tom. “I think
it’s time we made a quick exit,” I told him in Chinese. He nodded and
we bolted back down the street. Neither of us made it. I saw one of the
guys sprinting after Tom and I was wondering why he’s overtaking me,
when suddenly, I felt my shirt grabbed from behind. The adrenaline was
pumping through me, and I turned back and punched blindly at the guy
behind me. I ran across the road, taking a sudden right, and felt him
behind me, and surprisingly, I could not outrun him.

He caught up in seconds and gave me a right blow to the head. My
punch did not affect him, but I couldn’t say the same for his, coz I
was sprawled against the railing beside the sidewalk. I was dizzy and
tried to hit him again, but only got air. I have to admit that I wasn’t
fighting back because I was brave. Au contraire. I was fighting because
I was scared shitless. It was the only thing I could think of doing. I
tried to hit him again and failed. He punched me in the stomach and I
felt like oxygen was straight vacuumed out of me.

I won’t romanticize things…that made me gasp for air on the floor.
I couldn’t think about anything except that I needed to catch my breath
and the guy kicked me in the ribs while I was down. That hurt something
awful too, but everything was rather blurry now anyway. I remember
seeing the bouncer standing there impassively. I remember seeing the
people in the cafe beside that pointedly ignoring the scene outside. I
can’t say I blame that, I did insult them by proxy. ;)

The guy was about to kick me again when his girlfriend said “No!”,
and pulled him away. I caught my breath and tried to get up with the
help of the railings…and I somehow got myself standing again, and I
thought…”Hey…I’m still alright”. I looked at the guy arguing with
his girlfriend and pretended to be in great pain (well, I did feel
pain, but it wasn’t that bad) and stumbled to the general direction
back while doubled over. I didn’t know what possessed me, but I knew
what I was going to do before I did it.

I saw the guy look at me from the corner of my eye, but I still
pretended to be in a great deal of pain and he turned towards his gf
again and I just took a step over and fucking drove my knee up as hard
as I could to his crotch. I think we both screamed at the same time. I
overdid it and apparently hurt one of the muscle groups in my thigh.
His scream was gratifyingly effeminate though.

My apologies, there are no rules in a street brawl and everything is
fair game. I think I pilfered some of his family jewels, because now
he’s completely in the fetal position while his girlfriend was
screaming for help. I felt powerful though, hell, I felt wonderful. I
kicked him repeatedly in his head, each time leveraging the barrier to
go for brute force, making his cranial structure forcibly come into
contact with the metal barrier. I FELT GOOD! Until my sneaker fell off.

Yes, it was that embarrassing. Shit like this only happens in real
life, eh…I haven’t seen people in the unfortunate position of being
de-shoed while assaulting someone in the movies. I have this habit of
not tying it tightly. I bent down to get my sneaker (which was stupid,
but I wasn’t street smart then, just lucky) and was sent flying from a
kick from behind. It was more startling than painful, I swirled around
and saw that it was the girlfriend who did that.

She has my highest respect. I actually nodded at her for having the
balls (or whatever the female equivalent is) to do that to help her
boyfriend. She bent down and I looked to the side and saw that the guy
is looking like he’s going to recover soon and decided to leave. I was
hit in the face by a stone. It split my bottom lip and I remember
thinking that it was going to hit me straight in the face instead of
deviating downwards. I’ll give her something, she really has balls.

There was a crowd of people surrounding us all of a sudden, and the
bouncer who came over said he had called the police and told me to fuck
off and never come back while he’s at the club or he’ll kick the shit
out of me. I thought that was a funny thing to say, I wasn’t even in
the club he was manning. I saw the girl crying and I saw that I had
dripped some blood on the floor from my lip. I did not expect to see
the guy’s face all blood stained and bruised. I was shocked and
fearful. I ran away before the police could arrive.

I was halfway down the street when I remembered Tom. Shit! What
happened to him? Did he get away? I didn’t know where to go, I can’t go
back since the sirens were coming into hearing range, so I went to the
bus stop. He wasn’t there. I went up to 9 ball and shocked the
receptionist by my appearance. He wasn’t there too. I walked back to
the bus stop and decided to just go back to the scene when I saw him
walking slowly from the other road.

I caught my own reflection in the mirror and saw that while it’s
obvious I’ve been in a violent confrontation, it wasn’t that bad at
all. Just a split lip and a couple of bruises. I only found out that
the really bad bruises were on my chest from where he kicked me in the
ribs the next day. Tom looked like he had been given the once over
pretty bad. I felt sorry for him, even though he was the one who wanted
the fight, coz I was the one who made it happen.

I asked him if he was alright. He somehow blamed me for what
happened to him, coz he glared at me and shouted, “Do I look alright?”.
I later learnt that Tom did not take to losing well and harbors
resentment towards anyone who gets out of the same situation better
than he does. I was just lucky tonight, it could have been the other
way round. It turns out that he had wanted to be like me, to be able to
be friends with the Caucasian population in school, and that was why he
was so keen on getting me to teach him things.

“Well, let’s just go back.”, I said. He did not reply, so I just
took the lead and hopped into a cab and got the driver to get to his
destination. He walked out without a word too. I went on to my place
and turned in for the night.

The first period of the next day was Calculus, which I had with
Richard. Richard, whom I usually didn’t have much to talk about with,
must have heard of the incident through the grapevine. I was surprised
when he motioned me over to sit beside him said told me this:

“When you go into a fight, always be prepared that you’ll be
defeated. Losing can mean anything from minor cuts and bruises, losing
a leg, turning blind, or even just plain dead. Always be prepared for
the worst and resign yourself to that fact you might be seriously
injured or even dead. Granted, most altercations won’t end up like
this…but some will.”

“Why aren’t you afraid every time you go out on gang fights?”, I asked, wanting to know his secret.

He laughed softly and said, “Who says I’m not afraid? Everyone is
afraid of death or being mutilated. I just don’t think about the
possibilities – there are too many, and I just resign myself to fate.
You can’t go to fight with a defeatist attitude…of course, we all aim
to stay alive, but to do that, you have to try your very best to defeat
the enemy.”

“What about the police? Are you not worried about them?”, I asked, thinking about the other side.

“The police? We’ve already been arrested so many times the police
officers for Asian gangs know us by name. I’ve never been charged
though, since no one has ever testified. Asian pride, we solve our
affairs internally. Even the gangs who were wronged, they don’t talk to
the police, no one does over here. It’s an honor code, everything is
settled internally. I noticed that you always seem to be worried about
police more than anything though, what are you afraid of?”

“I’m the type of person who would choose death over a long jail
sentence. I’m not cut out to be cooped up. It would drive me insane.”

“I think everyone is, to a certain extent. I just don’t think about
it. The decision to fight has been made, if you think it’s worth
fighting for, you have enough on your mind already. You’ll need to
think about whether you’re prepared to kill the opponent and risk going
to jail. You’ll need to think about whether your opponent is prepared
to kill you and risk going to jail. The police are the least of your
worries. You may not even get out of the fight alive. You may get out
alive and escape. You may win. There’s so many possibilities that you
really shouldn’t worry about jail before fighting. You might not even
survive and all that worrying would be for nothing, since it’s your
opponent’s problem now. Your priority is to keep yourself alive.”

“Oh”, he added with a grin. “I heard about you and Tom…he’s been telling the story to everyone who would listen all morning.”

I was surprised…he usually doesn’t come in that early, and I had thought he would sleep in after the night.

“Anyway”, Richard went on, “I imagine he told you about the supposed great fight he had with Aaron last year, right?”

“Yeah, I heard it was just the two of them against 7 rugby players, and they walked out”, I replied.

“Pffftttt…that’ll be the day. I was there; we had come here to
hand in our application forms. There was just one attacker. Tom was too
scared to hit him. The other people were pulling the attacker off Tom,
who was getting the shit beaten out of him. Aaron broke a chair over
the guy’s head and got restrained too. Then, a teacher came in and put
a stop to everything. It’s interesting how these Taiwanese likes to
talk cock about their “bad boy” stories. I remember Tom telling some
people when we were first in about how he fought off 20 motorcyclists
who came after him with baseball bats. I laughed in his face. There’s
embellishment and there’s straight out bullshit and I can recognize the
latter when I see it.”

“I noticed that you never got along with him,” I mentioned.

“I don’t like people like him. Aaron seems alright, but Tom is all
talk, no action. His retellings get embellished every time he recites
it, haven’t you noticed? The last time I heard him telling the rugby
story, he didn’t even mention Aaron, he told some younger guys he was
the only one fighting while Aaron was just standing there. He just
wants to convince other people that he’s tough, when he’s really not.
There are some people you can trust, there are some that you can’t. Tom
belongs to the latter. I don’t exactly get along with Boon, but I’ll
have to admit, he’s part of the few you can trust. You’ll have been
better off with him than Tom last night.” he drawled.

“What would you have done?”, I asked.

“I would have done the smart thing and avoid a confrontation.” he
said with a grin. “I’ll also follow them back to their house to get
their address and then get the rest of the gang and ambush them.
There’s no shame in postponing a conflict until the odds are in your
favor. Going straight in when you’re unarmed and fighting people twice
your size is stupid. There’s always a smart way and a stupid way.
There’s no room for heroes when you come out and play, heroes all wind
up dead. Us Chinese, we use our brains and strategy. Make sure you the
one holding the Royal Flush.”

“Oh, and come to think of it, I probably won’t even do anything if
that happened to me. If I fought over every minor transgression, I
won’t even have time to take a shit.” Richard said, and smirked.

“You did pretty well though. I didn’t know you had it in you.” he
continued. “I never thought you had it in you to kick him so viciously.
We were surprised. You were pretty sneaky with that crotch retaliation.
Heh.”

“Tom told you? He didn’t even tell me he saw me! Oh well, it doesn’t
matter anyway, since the fight was basically already over, I was just
venting my anger”, I said and shrugged.

“Actually, it wasn’t Tom who saw you. I was at Players with Ah Bi
and the rest of our friends”, he said. “We heard shouting and looked
down and enjoyed the show.”

“What?!?”, I exclaimed. “Why didn’t you help?”

Richard looked at me strangely and said, “Why should we help?”

I didn’t know the answer too. It didn’t seem right to say “Just
because we’re all Asians”. That sounded stupidly idealistic and naive.
He seemed to read my mind though.

“The Asian community is not as united as you think,” he said in
matter of fact tone. “You seem to be a little out of touch with the
real world, no offence. Like I said, I won’t even have time to take a
dump if I helped out every one of my acquaintances when they had
trouble. However, if you were one of us, that would be different.”

I could see the logic behind that. I sat there thinking about this before I noticed Richard was looking at me.

“Oh, I was just thinking about how I haven’t been exposed to a lot of different people before coming here,” I said.

It seemed like he was waiting for an answer or something. I didn’t realize that he meant the last sentence to be a question.

“Listen”, he said. “We saw you yesterday night and we think you held
your own down there. There are a couple of people from Sibu in Asian
Freeway too, you probably know them. I hear you do drugs as well, there
would be more than a few people you’ll get along with in there.”

I was thinking about what he just proposed. I know about them from
what Ah Boon told me, and they seem to have a reputation for violence.
Is that why they wanted me? Just coz they thought I had the stomach to
dish out pain and receive pain? Anyone could do that under urgent
circumstances. I thought about whether I would enjoy hanging out with
them.

“Hey, didn’t all three of you come from Hornby last time? I mean
you, Ah Bi and Ah Boon? I wasn’t under the impression that Ah Boon is
in on this”, I thought aloud.

“No, he isn’t”, said Richard. “He didn’t want to, for some reason”.

I suddenly remembered what Ah Boon had said in a passing remark. He
said that being with this group is more hassle than it’s worth. There’s
always something every day. I was tempted by the offer, since it would
offer me protection in the future from such incidents. The only thing
that stopped me was the fact that I couldn’t see myself hanging out
with them. I didn’t feel like I would fit in.

“You know, I don’t think I’ll be comfortable joining a gang…though
I’m glad you asked. It is very tempting, but I don’t think I’m suited
to it”, I told him.

Richard grinned, saying “I figured you’ll say that. You’re always
going on about the police, worrying about them. Anyway, I’ll tell the
others that you’re not interested. I’m glad you didn’t waste my time
like some people do. I think you’re a little too naive and trusting for
the life anyway.”

“Oh, and about trust, you’ll be interested in something else we saw
last night,” Richard said, not waiting for an answer. “We could see the
both of you actually. You and Tom were not far from each other. The
other guy grabbed him just a little down the street, near the
dumpsters. The one attacking you failed to grab you and you managed to
get across the street. There was a car that nearly hit you, but I doubt
you know it or even remember it. The guy would have caught up with you
faster if it weren’t for that. Anyway, you’ll be interested to know
what went on near the dumpsters. Tom was just cowering there while the
guy kicked him. He repeatedly said “No, no, it’s him, him” while
pointing at your direction. Ah Bi hates people like these and he threw
a bottle at Tom. Unfortunately, it landed beside him and the attacker
looked up and saw all of us and though we were going to intervene, so
he ran away.”

“Now here’s the funny thing”, he continued, “Tom didn’t even know
when the attacker left coz he was covering himself. I guessed he just
assumed he was done. Never even wondered why there was a smashed bottle
beside him. Probably thought the attacker used it on him. Heh. He
didn’t use the straight way back though, he walked the long way. You
were actually just about to kick your attacker in the balls when that
happened. The bottle actually caused three things to happen – you
wouldn’t have had the chance to do that if it weren’t for us
accidentally scaring the other guy who ran into a sidewalk. Well,
actually you would still have the chance to do that, but you’ll be in
worse shape today coz Tom’s attacker would have passed you by after
he’s done and kicked your ass while you lost your shoe. Hahaha! You had
the whole snooker place laughing.”

“Anyway, him kicking your ass might have been a good thing, because
we saw the police talking to the guy you beat up after that. Now
instead of having them charged for assault, you’re probably going to be
the one. I would not waste a second worrying about that though, coz
they don’t know you, they don’t know your name, they don’t know shit.
It was a random street fighting between two groups of people who didn’t
know each other. However, you do have something unrelated which is
going to pose a problem to you”, he commented.

“Why? What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Well, your friend Tom is not going to let this opportunity
go…he’s going to tell anyone who listens about how he held down five
armed Kiwis with just his lighter while you ran away. I know how his
mind works. I’ve seen enough people like him. He’s feeling angry about
the fact that he lost and he’s embarrassed from having to turn up in
school looking like that after his alleged super fighting skills, which
we now know is non-existent. I wasn’t kidding when I said you’re naive
and trusting. It’s so obvious that everyone who talks to you will know
your nature. Tom knows that you won’t refute him coz you have this
thing about “friends”, so he’ll twist the story to make himself look
good and come out smelling like roses, and that, my friend, will make
you smell like shit. He’s going to ruin your reputation if you don’t do
something about him. In fact, in the last reenactment story I heard,
the figure went up to 7 Kiwis and a large Maori, and he said you
immediately turned tail and ran. Oh, and he made this “zzzpppptttt”
sound when he described you running away, and mentioned something about
seeing you beside him one second and gone the next”, he drawled
casually.

“I guess that’s his way of overcompensating…but what he doesn’t
know is that we saw everything and Ah Bi is coming during lunch. We’re
going to give him a surprise”, Richard said, looking like he was
looking forward to it.

I was very pissed off at this, so I didn’t really notice what he’s
implying will happen during lunch. I had thought of Tom as a friend and
I was disappointed in the way he could just do something like this
without feeling any conscience. It’s one thing to claim all credit, I
wouldn’t even have minded, and I’ll even play along, since it matters
so much to him. I just didn’t understand why he went one step further
from lying to slander. I was later told that he’s always been this way,
it’s his nature to think of his friends as competitors. I think it was
a self-esteem and identity issue. I didn’t know what I felt anymore and
when I heard the recess bell go off, I saw that Richard had already
left.

I walked down to the canteen. I saw Richard was there with Ah Bi,
telling everyone what really happened. He was totally enjoying himself,
describing every emotion and word that Tom had said in detail. I felt
sorry for Tom, they were leaving him with no options, no way to save
face. He stood there almost crying from shame when he suddenly shouted,
“If you’re all so brave, why didn’t you come out to help?”

Richard only laughed harder and said that it was more like they
didn’t give a shit about his welfare, even going into details about how
they were so entertained, they didn’t go back to resuming their snooker
game. Ah Bi also offered him more information than he wanted about the
intended target of the bottle. I guess teenage guys can be just as
emotionally cruel as girls. Tom finally couldn’t take it anymore and
just ran off.

They watched him go with much amusement…and proceeded to relate
how my shoe fell off while kicking the attacker’s head and the
retaliation where the girlfriend kicked my ass (literally) and would
have rearranged my face, if it wasn’t for her poor aim. It felt like
they were obliged to take some digs at me to appear impartial, which of
course they are, except that they didn’t like Tom. I had to contend
with shoe jokes for weeks, though I didn’t mind the jokes about having
my ass kicked by his girlfriend. I think that was a really great thing
that she did for her boyfriend.

I still don’t know why he said all that though. I had wondered if it
had more to do with wanting to help me and clear my reputation by
speaking out or just coz he didn’t like Tom and he had the perfect
chance to embarrass him in front of this audience. I very much doubt it
was the former.

Richard and Ah Bi walked past me when they’ve had their fun,
obviously having enjoyed it very much. Richard walked close to me and
said in a low tone, “I don’t know what goes on in the strange mind you
have, but don’t think that we did this coz we think of you as a
friend”. He turned towards me and grinned. “We’re not that altruistic.
I have some advice for you though. You trust people too much. That’s
wrong. You can’t trust people, period. Oh, and this hardly needs
saying, but you should really take a good look at some of your friends
before you treat them as such.”

That was the last time I saw them in school. I heard Ah Bi suddenly
stood up in the middle of class and announced that he is HIV positive
and he’ll not be attending classes anymore. Richard did the same thing.
That, to the best of my knowledge, is still standing as the most
audacious and outstanding excuse to get out of school. They were not
HIV positive, but I heard they announced it so loudly in class that it
shocked everyone and they just left while everyone was digesting this
and stopped going to school to become full time gang members.

End of Black Kingdom: Chapter 5 – “Chink, go back home!”

[ List of Characters ]

Next: Black Kingdom: Chapter 6 – The Lunch Gauntlet Run [sixthseal.com].

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...