The "OMG there’s a police car tailing me" FAQ

dangerous police

Q: OMG! There’s a fucking police patrol car tailing me! What should I do?
A: Calm down. Are you really sure it’s following you or is it just on a routine patrol?

Q: I’m fucking sure man, it’s on my ass and following my every turn! How ah how ah?
A: Turn down your stereo, wind up your windows and act like you’re just on your way back home.

Q: I can’t close the windows I’m smoking a cigarette!
A: Okay, hold on to it, you don’t want to fog your car up.

Q: It’s burning my fingers!!!!
A: You’re gonna have a lot of other burning sensations if you chuck it out now so just take it like a man.

Q: Okay, I’m holding on to it. The patrol car is shadowing my every move. Fuck la!
A: Resistance is not futile. Chill. Just go with the flow and don’t draw attention to yourself.

Q: How do I sit ya? Can they see me inside my car ah?
A: Can you see the car in front of you when you have your headlights on? Ya, don’t ask stupid questions. Just be nonchalant.

Q: Shit la, I turned into an alley and this asshole Nissan is like driving 20 km/h and the police is still on my tail and they’re pointing at me. Fuck la, I seriously freaking out dy.
A: WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT YOUR REAR VIEW MIRROR FOOL? That’s like a sure fire sign you have something to hide. Act like you don’t know it’s a police car behind you can or not?

Q: What if I get stopped ah? Die la!
A: Check your wallet. Got cash or not? Check your car. Got contraband or not? Check your system. Can pass test or not? Actually this all just crap, the first question is the only important one.

Q: Should I take a photo of the police patrol car for my blog?
A: Eh, your mom dropped you on the head as a baby izzit? Idiot! Use stock photos la.

The pain! The pain is too much!!!

ming tien taiwan sausage

I’m sure you’ve heard of the legendary Super Spicy Taiwan Sausage at Ming Tien food court. I was a bit dubious about this claim at first since I can take a lot of heat. However, I was pleasantly surprised to find out that their claim of super spicy is actually for real.

ming tien taiwanese sausage make

I’m not a wuss when it comes to Scoville units. I believe that more is more (versus less is more, geddit) but when I requested for a super super spicy sausage it was…quite an experience.

I’ve always maintained a healthy disregard for spicy claims due to my high tolerance to spicy stuff so I convinced the guy to let me add some of the chilli powder to the spicy sausage.

ming tien taiwanese sausage super spicy

This is where the disclaimer goes. Don’t rub your eyes after your fingers come into contact with the mean wrapper. It’s infused with chilli powder and your sensitive ocular devices won’t ever let you hear the last of it.

Most of the people I went with threw in the towel after one bite (some even BEFORE they ate – just from smelling the chilli powder). I love it though.

ming tien taiwan sausage phallic shaped

Taiwan Sausage is located at Ming Tien food court in PJ. You have to order the super spicy sausage for the complete and unedited experience. It goes for RM 2.30 per sausage. This phallic shaped meat of tough love is sure to thrill.

ming tien taiwan sausage sausage akimbo

Sausage akimbo! It’s my regular haunt when my taste buds wants some S&M lovin’.

Got beef?

got beef

Do you have beef against our friendly neighborhood broadband provider Streamyx? I’ve been hearing a lot of complaints about it but what’s interesting is that I hear EVEN MORE from the people who switched to other less established ISPs. I’m quite happy with my connection – it’s not expensive compared to some other players and the best thing about it is that it’s available nationwide. No restrictions on where you can use it. Not limited to Klang Valley and all that.

Sounds damn hard sell? Not if you look at my history, I’ve always been on Streamyx (except during the dark ages when all I had was dial up T_T). It’s fast and it’s reliable. I think the reason a lot of people diss it is coz it’s the incumbent and everyone likes to talk shit about the existing provider and praise the new players.

It’s like politics…let’s see how you feel about The Opposition (TM) when they finally come into power. Say hello to the new boss, same as the old boss (only less reliable and prone to throwing tantrums). ;)

ISDN, Sat connections and ADSL

tmpoint

I just moved from Kelana Jaya to the Bangsar area and switched my Streamyx broadband to the place over here. I’ve had a lot of questions about why I did that. I don’t know why but a lot of people think Streamyx is passé now with all the new nifty players on the market.

However, for me (and others) it is still the most reliable broadband provider. I’m not just saying that coz this is an advertorial – this was one I accepted coz it really reflects my feelings. I started out with TM dialup (1515 anyone?) coz I’m old (skool) and as soon as Streamyx was available, I just jumped on it.

I was even considering stuff like satellite connections coz it hasn’t rolled out in Sibu back then. I was a real geek back in the days (probably still am, just in a different arena) and thought  it would be worth it to get a sat connection (great downlink, but uplink is slow coz it runs on dialup). ISDN was also an option but PROHIBITIVELY expensive back in the days.

It was something of a godsend when Streamyx came into the scene. It’s why I’m still using it…and will continue to use it. I’m just loyal like that ya. ;)

Turkey stew with quail eggs, Portobello mushrooms and apples

stew start

The turkey stew is made with half a savory sauce base and half apple juice. It sounds a little weird and we did this as an experiment of sorts but it worked out really well. The stew takes a lot of time to cook (3 hours approximate) but we also made BBQ pork ribs. The hearty stew is served with slices of French loaf topped with Mozzarella cheese slices seared in olive oil.

You will need:

ingredients

  • Turkey drumstick
  • Pork ribs
  • Quail eggs
  • La MASIA extra virgin olive oil
  • Coat & Cook Honey and Soy Sauce marinate
  • Heinz BIG N CHUNKY Stew
  • PEEL FRESH apple juice
  • Mozzarella cheese block
  • BBQ sauce
  • Potatoes
  • Baby carrots
  • Portobello mushrooms
  • Onions and garlic
  • Apple
  • French loaf

turkey drum size

Turkey drumsticks are huge – check out the sheer size of it.

turkey drum slice

The turkey drumstick will be the stock of the stew but we wanted the meat as well so we sliced the turkey drumstick with a knife, going sideways as to maximize the return on investment on this bird.

sliced turkey

Mmm…

apple

We started off by preparing the ingredients for the stew. Chop up the onions, garlic, potatoes and apples. The last two should be cubed and diced respectively. Put the baby carrots into the plate as well.

pre stew

Next up, fry the onions and garlic in olive oil…

fry turkey

…and put in the slices of turkey to sear it for the stew.

stew base

Open the can of stew base and dump it into a suitable sized pot. DO NOT ADD WATER.

stew progress

Throw in the rest of the ingredients except the quail eggs and Portobello mushrooms.

quail eggs boil

Boil 6 of the quail eggs (reserve the rest for the stew) and peel it.

turkey drum

You can also throw in the pasta at this time for the two birds with one stone thing (pardon the lame pun).

add apple juice

Pour in the apple juice in lieu of water – trust me on this. Add about 500 ml or so.

turkey stew

Chuck in all the rest of the ingredients and let the stew…well, stew for 2 hours.

Here’s the video!

marinade

This is where you cook the pork ribs. Marinate the pork ribs with Coat & Cook Honey and Soy Sauce and let it sit for a while.

fry pork ribs

Use olive oil to fry some onions and garlic and put in the pork ribs.

pork ribs done

You don’t want to overcook the porcine goodness so flip every now and then and add BBQ sauce before serving.

thicken stew

After 2 hours (do check on the stew from time to time and remember to turn the heat down) put in a few slices of bread to thicken up the stew.

quail eggs crack

Add BBQ sauce and crack in the quail eggs…

mushrooms

…and the Portobello mushrooms.

stewing

Let it stew (you guessed it) for 30 more minutes with the lid on.

Crack the rest of the quail eggs in at this point. High cholesterol but adds a lot to the taste!

bread stew

Chop up the French loaf to go with the stew and heat it with cheese slices on top of olive oil until the Mozzarella cheese melts.

melted french loaf cheese

Cook some pasta to garnish in the middle of the French loaf with melted cheese…

serving

…and serve with the turkey stew with quail eggs, Portobello mushrooms and apples.

stew end

I’m telling you, it tastes DIVINE. It might be a bit sour but it’ll be nothing a bit of BBQ sauce can’t fix and the medley of sour, sweet and savory notes is something to experience. The stew is thick and full of turkey with quail egg and apple surprises!

The Leaning Tower of Prata

prata

This has gotta be the highlight of today. We were having lunch at a mamak when this waiter started collecting used plates and bowls into a structurally unsound configuration which flies against all the laws of gravity. It’s an abomination! This Bonanno Pisano wannabe was just BEGGING for his hodge-podge construct to come apart.

It started wobbling when he walked over to our table.

I can see the look of consternation of his face, as well as a glint in his eye that suggested DETERMINATION to reach the dirty plate washing basin before it deconstructed.
He was fighting a losing battle and he shifted left, and then right in an effort to correct the wobbling structure.

His face started showing signs of dismay and horror as he realized he’ll never cross the finish line without it toppling over. The leaning tower of old soup, rice, and gravy from various people’s leftovers was just beside us at this point.

In a last ditch effort to do some damage control, he sharply veered right and let his body act as a splatter shield as everything came down.

It still got to us though. I was trying hard not to laugh coz his expression was PRICELESS. I wish I had videoed it but I didn’t know it was going to fall.

I still think it’s funny even though my left sleeve smells like old onion soup.

Kampong Chicken Eating House

kampong chicken eating house

What exactly is kampong chicken? Translated literally it would “rural chicken” but it actually means free range chicken. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think it’s a different species (at least, a different kind of chicken) since it’s much smaller and leaner than the usual poultry offerings.

kampong chicken stall

I went to Kampong Chicken Eating House in Singapore right before we were slated to come home. The bus was about to leave so we decided to head down here for some nourishment before we departed.

kampong chicken rice

This is a photo of a bowl of plain steamed chicken rice. Mundane? It looks that way but it didn’t TASTE that way (which was what compelled me to snap someone’s bowl after I partook of mine). The individual grains of rice is soft, fluffy and infused with the essence of chicken goodness!

kampong chicken liver

I have a huge appetite (which explains my current weight) so I ordered a chicken drumstick with some chopped liver and an egg…

kampong chicken rice meal

…and a quarter of chicken (thigh and drum) to complement the order and make it into a belly rubbing, over eating experience. ;)

kampong chicken us

It tasted good to me and everyone else on the table agreed that it was better than most chicken rice outlets. Good company, good food – it’s twice the fun just like the Xpax XXL double bonus. I particularly enjoyed the tender and moist chicken.

kampong chicken

I finished everything so that’s gotta say something right?

(or not)

Lotteria Shrimp and Bulgogi Burger

lotteria order

Lotteria is one of the largest fast food chains in Korea. It’s an offshoot of the Lotte Korean conglomerate. I was there a couple of months ago for a business trip and decided to sample the local cuisine junk food.

lotteria

They had this 30th anniversary promotional burger going on – it’s a half-and-half of shrimp and bulgogi beef. I have been a HUGE fan of bulgogi after going to Korea – done right, it’s the delicious! I’ve been to a proper bulgogi place as well as the McDonald’s bulgogi burger *drool* and I love it to bits!

lotteria promo

Naturally, I went for this one, half bulgogi and half shrimp in a sub, you can’t really ask for more!

lotteria burger

We had it to go coz it was really late at night and all of us were pretty tired.

lotteria bulgogi shrimp burger

I know why Lotteria is doing so well in Korea (kinda rhymes right?) though. Their burgers are orgasmic! Imagine half of a shrimp burger and half of a bulgogi burger in a single sub – it’s an XXL sized portion of belly patting goodness in a single bun.

*cue* It kinda reminds me of the Xpax double bonus. :p Double the fun, double the pleasure!

Speed eating video

speed eating

I’ve always waxed lyrical about this particular chap fan place in Kelana Jaya. It is hands down the best place for lunch and I’ve missed eating there ever since I moved. Anyway, I decided it was high time to head back and do a video of myself eating a huge plate of nostalgia so I drove back yesterday afternoon.

I videoed myself eating it – this really is how fast I usually eat the stuff. It took me ages to upload this coz I’m not on Streamyx right now. I’m waiting for my account to get transferred over here so I can get proper broadband. I finished the entire plate of rice but I’m not too pleased at my own pace so I’m going to have to do it again.

No la, that’s just an excuse for me to head back. I really love their offerings but you have to be there around 9 am coz the good dishes sell out really fast.

Shooting an apple off your head

apple-karen

There was this game last night which we kinda butchered. You’re supposed to shoot a slingshot (medieval style, yo) at a target but somehow or other we got an apple. Thus it turned into the classic shoot-the-apple-off-the-head stunt.

Karen really used the slingshot (which was why I was covering my face) and the most amazing thing is, she actually HIT the apple.

apple-me

The reason I let her do it was coz I trusted her to aim in that general direction (instead of down south where the family jewels are – only son k). It’s also why I use Streamyx broadband…cross my heart and hope to die, I have really been using exclusively that since I got of dial up. I guess it’s just one of those things – you believe in the service.

Just like I trusted Karen not to aim down there. >.<

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