Top 5 delicious lunch options around KL Sentral

June-Tee

I want to preface this controversial listing by saying these are my personal favorites. I work in Menara 1 Sentrum beside nu sentral mall in Brickfields. I’ve been to most of the popular lunch options around here like Peter Pork, Money Corner, Sin Kee Restaurant. None of those made my top 5 list. I like the Western food stall at Money Corner and Peter Pork’s pork noodle are decent but I usually prefer eating rice during lunch.

#1 Husen Cafe

Husen-Cafe

I’ll eat here at least once a week. The dish I always order is onion chicken – a tomato sambal chicken with intense onion sauce. Husen Cafe serves chicken quarters, so you can either have a breast (white meat) portion or a thigh (dark meat) portion. I usually go for the breast as it’s easier to eat and the portions are a lot bigger. This is ¼ chicken and the chickens they use are huge! It’s more than enough for even the biggest eaters.

Onion-Chicken

It’s reasonably priced compared to other similar places. This whole shebang just cost me RM 10.

Husen-Chicken

Best paired with okra (ladies fingers) or onion raita (raw onions with yoghurt). Don’t forget their papadom! The owner will waive the RM 0.30 for iced water too if you’re a regular.

#2 Pu Xian Wei Restaurant

Pu-Xian-Wei

This is my go to lunch spot. We call it “China chap fan” coz it’s run by Mainland China Chinese. The food they serve are tweaked to PRC palates, so it has different flavors from what local Chinese are used to. It’s delicious! Google’s SEM (paid search) team is in the same building as my office and they have teams from all over the world based in Malaysia. I met a Vietnamese girl taking the LRT who’s on a 1 year contract and found out they have a free cafeteria inside their office. You always see people from Korea, Japan, Russia, and all other nations in the lifts.

China-Chap-Fan

The reason I shared that anecdote is coz you’ll often see the teams from Singapore, China and Taiwan wearing their distinctive Google plain blue/red lanyard in the China chap fan. They’ll come and eat here despite having free food at their workplace. That’s the best endorsement this chap fan place can hope for. It passes the taste test of Mainland Chinese people. It’s so good they’re willing to pay good money when they could have a free lunch.

Chap-Fan-China

I find them a little expensive at first but the Mainland Chinese lady calculating how much your plate costs will give you steep discounts once you’re a regular. Or maybe she just likes my face. Haha.

#3 Royale Nasi Lemak

Nasi-Lemak-Royale

My guilty pleasure. I’ve stopped going after getting explosive diarrhea twice in a row but you should be fine if you stick to the popular meats like their freshly fried chicken. The ayam masak hitam and ayam masak merah can be a bit dodgy at times. Those are made with fried chicken so it’s often cooked with the previous day’s fried chicken that’s been sitting unsold during off peak hours under a heat lamp in ideal bacteria breeding temperatures.

Royale-Nasi

Nasi lemak in the Northern states mean nasi kandar, so don’t be surprised when you don’t get santan flavored rice. The rice at Royale is scented with pandan though. It’s exactly like nasi kandar where you choose the dishes you want and finish it off with kuah campur. Their curries are delicious!

Royale-Pile

I always get their fish egg curry and sotong egg curry too. My dish usually comes up to RM 14-18 so it’s not a cheap place.

#4 Gu Zao Seafood Restaurant

Gu-Zao

This is the best fish restaurant I’ve been to. Their forte is seafood, although they also serve other proteins like chicken and pork. Most people go here for their Deep Fried Threadfin (RM 18) which is a whole ma yao served with delicious soy sauce. Their lunch sets come with rice and a side of vegetables for free. They’ve also recently started giving away free soup with sizable chunks of daikon radish inside. It’s noisy due to the acoustics but there’s air conditioning and the lady who owns the shop is very nice.

Fried-Threadfin

I also recommend their Asam Tilapia and Taucu Tilapia (both RM 17). They’re both equally good, though the edge goes to the fermented soy beancurd one. I usually order tilapia instead of the threadfin coz there’s a lot more meat and its RM 1 cheaper. The tilapia here is more delicious than dedicated seafood restaurants who charge twice this price!

Fish-Shop

Their 3-egg steamed Chinese omelet with salted egg, century egg and normal egg is delicious too. The prices are higher than the surrounding F&B outlets but it’s air conditioned and the fish is amazing.

#5 Singh Chapati House

Singh-Chapati-House

I said I usually prefer rice but I also enjoy a good meal of chapati. The chapatis at Singh are freshly made and hot from the plate. It’s quite packed during lunch and the huge number of Indians eating here is a testament to their authenticity and taste. You serve yourself from the bain maries outside and tell your waiter how many chapatis you want. It’s kinda like a chap fan stall where you pick the curries you like and it’s calculated when you sit down.

Chapati

It’s quite expensive – each small piece of chicken is RM 3, but the taste is spot on. They use a lot of spices in their curries so there are wonderfully complex layers of flavors. Expect to pay around RM 16-18 per pax here for lunch.

Singh-Chapati

Did I miss out on your favorite? Let me know in the comments! I’ll try it if it’s within a 10 minute walk of KL Sentral.

Michelin Bib Gourmand zi char: Ka Soh (Outram Park)

Ka-Soh

Ka Soh has two outlets in Singapore and even a Malaysian outpost but only the one at Outram Park has received the Bib Gourmand award. They specialize in traditional fish head noodles – no dairy byproducts are added to achieve the color as a shortcut, the milky color comes from boiling the fresh snakehead fish and fish bones for 4 hours. They’re also known for their fried shrimp paste chicken (har cheong kai).

Kok-Sen-Us

I was in Singapore to celebrate my dad’s birthday and this was one of the places we ate at. Unfortunately, we were all exceedingly full due to a late heavy lunch after church, so we could only manage a few dishes. Ka Soh in Outram Park is in a hospital compound – the building belongs to an alumnus of medical professionals.

Prawn-Paste-Chicken

I was told I had to try their Prawn Paste Chicken (SGD 15.50). This is a very Singaporean dish where they fry chicken wings dipped in fermented prawn paste batter. The ones at Ka Soh was exceedingly crunchy with a nice prawn flavor. I love the crispy batter that coats the piping hot chicken.

Signature-Fish-Soup-Noodles

Signature Fish Soup Noodles (SGD 8.50) is what they’re known for so we got a bowl to share. It’s decent but it’s not my favorite thing. I can appreciate the creamy mouthfeel but I’m not a huge fan of the insipid soup. It’s not my favorite thing but I’m glad I tried it.

Signature-Pork-Ribs

Signature Pork Ribs (SGD 18.50) was recommended by the waitress and this turned out to be my favorite dish. It doesn’t look like much but it tastes delicious! The pork chop is marinated in a blend of spices and deep fried. It’s then cut into juicy strips and served with a sweet soy sauce dip. Excellent execution. I was forcibly kidnapped and taken to Flavor Town!

Sliced-Thick-Fish-Vermicelli-Noodles

Sliced Thick Fish Vermicelli Noodles (SGD 8) is the dry version of the above. I did enjoy this more than the soup ones. I may have a slight bias against soup noodles since I prefer stronger flavors to subdued ones. I’m what they call 重口味. 😄

Kangkung-with-Prawn-Paste

Kangkung with Prawn Paste (SGD 12) is the obligatory vegetable. It tastes exactly like what you’ll expect it to taste like. Stir fried well, but nothing exceptional. To be fair it’s hard to wow with a vegetable dish unless you have extraordinary ingredients or unusual cooking techniques.

Fried-Yam

We ended with Fried Yam (SGD 8), which is their signature dessert. It’s nicely done with a crispy exterior and a smooth, warm and creamy yam interior. We all enjoyed this dish but it’s a very rich and cloying Chinese style dessert. It’ll be hard to eat more than a few pieces.

Ka-Soh-Outram-Park

The bill came up to SGD 109.20 (around RM 332) which is quite a standard price for Singapore zi char. I honestly didn’t find Ka Soh exceptional. It’s good, don’t get me wrong, but there are many similar quality zi char places in Singapore offering equal, if not better quality cooking. I find the Bib Gourmand listings in the Michelin Guide to be less accurate than the star listings. It’s great as a guide, but it’s certainly not an exhaustive listing.

Michelin Singapore Bib Gourmand roundup: A Noodle Story, Hong Kee Beef Noodle, J2 Famous Crispy Curry Puff

A-Noodle-Story

A Noodle Story was one of the Bib Gourmand destinations I was most excited about. It’s Singaporean style ramen and the chefs are young folks getting into the hawkerpreneur life. It looked really good in photos. A Noodle Story is located at Amoy Street Food Centre, which is a huge building with many stalls. It’s exceedingly hot and packed during lunch time, so be warned! I had to queue for about 30 minutes before I got my bowl of noodles and nearly got heatstroke in that time.

Noodle-Story

The noodles come with lots of toppings like potato prawn (strings of crispy potato wrapped around a juicy prawn), oozing onsen egg, tender char siu made using Spanish pork belly, and Hong Kong style wontons. There’s also strings of what I thought was saffron (which is impossible, considering the price) but turned out to be peppers. It’s a nice touch. I really enjoyed the firm, toothsome and flavorful noodles. Recommended.

Hong-Kee-Beef-Noodle

Hong Kee Beef Noodle is located a few stalls down. They also won a Bib Gourmand for their beef stock that’s cooked for 24 hours. I got a bowl of their beef noodles to share with my dad. There is no queue for this stall. I tasted the noodles and immediately disliked it. I could barely discern any flavor! It’s quite tasteless to me. I thought they forgot to put salt in.

Beef-Noodle-Hong-Kee

It should be noted that my dad is a fan of subtle and simple flavors. He ate the noodles and gave it the thumbs down as well. “Too bland”, he declared. I honestly tell you, if something is too plain for my dad, it’ll be tasteless for 99.9% of the population. The seasoning game is too weak in these noodles. I may like it better if there was more flavor (or sodium) but the dreary broth and noodles taste insipid. Not my thing.

J2-Famous-Crispy-Curry-Puff

J2 Famous Crispy Curry Puff is also located in the same center. I was too full to eat since I gobbled down a dumpling from Hoo Kee Bak Chang after the noodles. Luckily, curry puffs take very well to travelling so I bought some to eat in KL later that night. My sister also asked me to tapau her a few of these. These used to be the only curry puffs to be listed in Michelin Bib Gourmand, but Rolina was also included in the new 2018 guide.

J2-Curry-Puff

It’s quite good! I liked these curry puffs. My favorite was the black pepper chicken but I also enjoyed the sardine one. I usually don’t choose sardines coz I thought they’re something you take straight from the can and stuff it in the pastry. Not so with J2. I hear they only pick the large sardines and season it with their own in-house blend. They only sell 500 curry puffs each day. The crust is nicely flaky and crispy. Worth trying.

Double feature: Hong Heng Fried Sotong Prawn Mee + Tiong Bahru Hainanese Boneless Chicken

Hong-Heng-Fried-Sotong-Prawn-Mee

The chef-owner at Hong Heng Fried Sotong Prawn Mee must have watched too much Young & Dangerous coz Hong Heng is the fictitious gang in the series led by Ekin Cheng. I watched him (the chef, not Ekin) apply his pek yao skills to the wok. They serve their noodles with just a spoon coz the chef cham (chop) the mee already, as befitting his stall name. You don’t need chopsticks to pick up the truncated length noodles. There’s a queue even at the odd afternoon hour I visited but it moved fast.

Bib-Gourmand-Prawn-Mee

“I take inspiration fron gu wak chai”. He didn’t actually say that, I simply add one. 😄

Tiong-Bahru-Prawn-Mee

The noodles are flavored well but a bit too bland for me. I think adding a bit more salt would have elevated the dish. Maybe he under seasoned my batch. I love their chilli sauce and it’s a comforting dish of noodles. I just wish it were saltier. Worth a try.

Tiong-Bahru-Hainanese-Boneless-Chicken-Rice

Tiong Bahru Hainanese Boneless Chicken Rice is also at Tiong Bahru Food Center. They have an unusual addition I’ve never seen before – pickles! It really adds a lot to the dish as the acidic sweetness cuts through the fattiness of the chicken and rice. I also think the tau keh nio is quite pretty. Hehe. She’s a friendly person too, and when she heard I was from KL, she told me they started an outlet in JB, Malaysia but it didn’t do well so they closed it. Apparently Malaysians have different taste buds and requirements when it comes to chicken rice.

Tiong-Bahru-Bib-Gourmand-Chicken-Rice

I really enjoyed the chicken rice here. The drumstick was nice and moist and the tender meat speaks well to me. I also liked the onion notes in the chicken rice. But it was the pickle that stole the show – it’s such an awesome ingredient in chicken rice that I wonder why other stalls don’t include this. The chilli dip is spot on too. Delicious.

Tiong-Bahru-Chicken-Rice

I’ll go again.

4-in-1: Michelin Bib Gourmand Elvis Suki, Tongue Fun Ice Cream, Durian @ Or Tor Kor, Hooters Bangkok

Elvis-Suki

Elvis Suki was the first thing I ate in Bangkok. I scheduled Raan Jay Fai at 8 pm and thought it’ll be a good idea to starve myself the entire day until I got to Bangkok at 5 pm. It was not. I had less appetite than if I had eaten small portions at mealtimes. Elvis Suki is a Thai sukiyaki noodle joint. They call it suki haeng and its glass noodles fried with a protein and sukiyaki sauce. You can see a whole row of cooks manning coal stoves and cooking sukiyaki in front of Elvis Suki. Elvis is known for their dry sukiyaki beef so that’s what I got.

Elvis-Suki-Bangkok

Elvis Suki has two outlets at the opposite (and slightly diagonal) sides of the road. The original one is the al fresco and cramped old style Bangkok eatery. The new air conditioned one opposite has food shuttled there from this location. Naturally, I went to the source and sat down at one of the small shared tables. It was full of locals and their menu is in all Thai. Luckily, I had a picture (from the Michelin Bib Gourmand Guide) of what I wanted to order. My English-speaking table companion, an office worker who ate two bowls of suki, also helped clarified my order to the waiter.

Elvis-Suki-Dry-Beef-Suki

The flavors of Elvis Suki dry sukiyaki beef are quite unusual. I’m not familiar with these ultra-smoky aromas. It’s not just wok hei, but it tastes like the essence of smoke was somehow distilled into the noodles. It’s honestly a bit overwhelming, but I can imagine this would be something I’ll enjoy if I had grown up eating it. The acidic dipping sauce is a must! It kicks the dish up a notch. I like the eggy sauce but it’s slightly too bland (except for the coal smoke infusion) for me.

Tongue-Fun

I’ve also heard good things about Tongue Fun Ice Cream so I popped over after my meal at Elvis Suki. It’s a specialty ice cream shop that’s originally Tung Fung Trading Service Co. Ltd. Haha. I thought that was brilliant – the pivot to F&B and renaming the original enterprise with a relevant twist. Tongue Fun is a dingy looking shop with a few tables and chairs thrown out front but there was a lot of people there! It’s super popular with locals.

Tong-Fung

They do a variety of alcohol-infused and unusual ice creams. I ordered Red Bull Vodka, LYRJYU (lychee liqueur), beer, Yakult Pepoo (yoghurt drink like Vitagen), and X-Milk (extra milk). They’ll give you a mini Thai steamboat with dry ice if you order 5 scoops. The flavors range from 30 baht to 45 baht, depending on what you order.

Tongue-Fun-Ice-Cream

Here’s how the dry ice steamboat looks like! I thought the Red Bull Vodka was way too acidic and most of the alcohol infused ice cream was too gritty like granita. I knew this when the friendly staff gave me all the flavors to try but I wanted to order it anyway. The texture is not something I enjoy but it’s worth trying for the novel flavors.

Beer-Ice-Cream

The best in the alcohol series was beer. I quite enjoyed the subtle hoppy taste. Nothing beats the super creamy X-Milk though. It’s insanely good! I wish I had ordered two scoops of this instead. It’s better than most of the huge chains like Baskin-Robbins and Haagen-Dazs.

Or-Tor-Kor-Market

I also popped down to Or Tor Kor Market to check out their durians. Thailand durians are generally not as flavorful as our local Malaysian durians but they’re pretty good too. It’s a misconception that Thai durians are dry, hard and unripe. I know they look like that on display wrapped up in cute wax paper but they’re not. The wax paper is so you don’t get your hands dirty while eating.

Durian-Or-Tor-Kor

The most in-demand durian in Thailand is Monthong. This is a fleshy durian with nice creamy notes. Not too offensive or intensely flavored, it’s considered mild by Malaysian standards. They go for around 150 baht for 100 grams. My large portion cost RM 38. Or Tor Kor sells produce for higher than average since they source it from better and more reputable farmers. It’ll be more expensive than a roadside stall in Bangkok.

Ganyao

I also found some Ganyao durian. This is less popular and one of the smaller seeds only cost 100 baht (around RM 13). I like Ganyao a lot more than Monthong and I suspect a lot of Malaysians would prefer Ganyao too. It’s flavorful and intense, compared to the muted notes of Monthong. Creamy and delicious.

Monthong

I love durian and I also patronized the stall outside the BTS near my hotel many times. I got a massive portion of Monthong for just 140 baht. Super worth it. Tastes like the ones from Or Tor Kor too.

Hooters-Bangkok

There’s a Hooters outside Nana Plaza where you can have a beer and people watch. The prices for beer here are slightly higher than inside the go go bars, plus you definitely can’t touch the Hooters waitresses and there are no boobs and bare pussy on display here. I know the value preposition sounds a bit low, especially since you’re bound to see more beautiful go go girls inside Nana Plaza with their tits out who’ll not mind your stray hand on their nubile bodies.

Nana-Hooters

It’s still worth a visit coz the ambiance at the bar flanking the street is quite nice. You can see all sorts of old Caucasians stumbling out of Nana Plaza with young Thai prostitutes and freelance street walkers who would call out to you and give you a flash of their goods (so it’s inaccurate to say there’s no T&A here, you’ll just not be getting them from the waitresses). It’s very interesting and worth the RM 30 or so for a beer here. It sounds dodgy, and it is, but it’s not unsafe. This is the darker underbelly of Bangkok. A gritter Thailand. I like it, in small doses.

Hooters-Nana

Obligatory photo at Hooters.

College-Grab-Driver

To end this post, here’s a bonus picture of my hot Thai Grab driver. She’s a college student doing the ride sharing thing part time. I thought she was cute.

Naughty Nuri’s Ribs Master Challenge 2019

Cute-Esther

It should come as no surprise to anyone that I love food. I relish scarfing down obscene quantities of grub at blazing speed. I have dabbled in the profane arts of competitive eating but I didn’t like how I couldn’t enjoy the taste if I had to stuff it down methodically. However, I do enjoy participating in food related competitions to see how I stack up against others. I’m a very fast eater.

HB-Eat

I also don’t mind eating for an audience, as my many Facebook live mukbangs will attest to. I revel in the interactive experience and pigging out in front of people doesn’t bother me. I will smack my lips and gobble my food with no shame. Thus, when I heard about the Ribs Master Challenge 2019, I knew I had to compete. You’re timed on how fast you can devour Naughty Nuri’s Balinese Style Pork Ribs and the fastest one in their outlet gets it for free!

Contestants

I went at it with several other bloggers and I’m proud to report that I’m the fastest one that night. I clocked in at a respectable 2 minutes 15 seconds. The fastest in the outlet was 1 minute 3 seconds and I needed to be under 1 minute 37 seconds to get into the Top 5 and the scoreboard. I’m quite sure I can do it. I was eating at a slower speed since I wanted to savor the ribs and let the delicious sauce dance on my tongue. I can be a lot faster if I just focus on getting the meat down.

TV

Naughty Nuri’s Balinese Style Pork Ribs are the most delicious ribs I’ve had in Malaysia. No joke. They’re so tender it falls of the bone with the slightest touch. I think it might even slide off if you look at it hard enough. The sauce is sweet and yummy too! It’s the reason I wanted to appreciate the flavors during my ribs challenge instead of smashing it at top speed.

Signature-Roast-Pork-Salad

We also had a few other dishes that night like Signature Roast Pork Salad.

Naughty-Nuri-Pork-Ribs

Naughty Nuri’s Signature Pork Ribs.

Indonesian-Nasi-Goreng

Indonesian Style Nasi Goreng.

Naughty-Nuri-Satay-Lilit

Naughty Nuri’s BBQ Satay Lilit.

Sizzling-Bacon-Chocolate-Cake

Mt. Buleleng Inspired Sizzling Bacon Cake.

Ribs-Master

…but nothing beats the ribs at Naughty Nuri’s. They’re delectable! My mouth is watering just thinking about them now. I’m really tempted by the Ribs Master Challenge prize of 1 year of free ribs. You can participate in any of the Naughty Nuri’s outlets at Atria, SS15 Courtyard, Life Center and Desa Sri Hartamas. The fastest person at each outlet will get their ribs free and the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th will get 50% off. There will be a showdown after the 1st September to 30th November 2018 challenge period where the fastest in each outlet battle for 1 year of free ribs.

Bloggers

I’ll definitely go and try again.

Somersby x Morganfield’s cider food pairing

HB-Somersby

It is a testament to my growing age and irrelevance that I found myself in the middle of a sea of similar looking cookie-cutter unfamiliar faces. I hear they’re all influencers and they’re invariably young, beautiful and dressed in all-white. That was the dress code of the event but as a rebel, I came in grey. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those old bloggers who bemoan the invasion of attractive Instagrammers and YouTubers. Far from it – as a red-blooded, meat-eating member of the male species with strong heterosexual appetites, I do enjoy looking at pretty girls.

HB-Influencer

I even got one of those newfangled Instagram influencers to pose with me. It almost made me feel young again. I must admit, I have taken inspiration from some of the photos these IG folks posted. I did a similar one with my own twist and I’m proud to report that the picture gained a lot of traction on Facebook. I’m even more gratified that my solo shot got more likes than the one I took with the appealing influencer. That is not usually the case, so thank you all!

Cookie-Cutter

This event is a Somersby x Morganfield’s collaboration that celebrates and pairs Somersby’s new Elderflower Lime with a few select Morganfield’s menu items. I like alcohol and I love food. Da Men is just 7 minutes away from my condo, so I thought I’ll make an appearance.

Somersby-Singer

Morganfield’s at Da Men, USJ is home to the first ever beautifully decorated Somersby Garden in Malaysia. There’s a swing where you can take photos as well as garden themed furniture and tables. They have freshly tapped Somersby on draught too.

Somersby-Swing

There’s also a promotion on the baby back ribs they import from Spain in various alcohol marinades. Jim Beam BBQ Baby Back, Citrus Mojito Baby Back and Jack Daniel’s Glazed Baby Back are all priced at RM 69.90. You can get Somersby Elderflower Lime at RM 9.90 per bottle before 8 pm and RM 39.90 for a bucket of 4 bottles all day long with any purchase of baby back ribs.

Somersby-Garden

Somersby Elderflower Lime is a refreshing cider with 4.5% ABV. There’s a pleasant floral note and an invigorating lime aftertaste which makes this very thirst-quenching. It’s perfect served over ice. This is a very suitable drink for our muggy weather, if you’re not adverse to consuming a bit of sugar. I like it but I prefer the Somersby Orchard Selection Sparkling Rose. I like dry ciders.

Morganfields-Somersby

I tried the Jack Daniel’s Baby Back Ribs and it was delicious! This is not the type of ribs that disintegrates and falls off the bone as soon as you touch it. There’s a bit of bite to it but it’s super flavorful. I also like their Sticky Wings. The Pork Sausage Platter with Spicy Devil, Smoky Bandit, Herby Hog and Cheesy Cheese was a huge hit at my table. There’s also a snack platter called Fourplay with Bacon Wrapped Meatballs, Onion Rings & Chilli Con Carne Dip, Corn Tortilla Chips and Sticky Wings that I enjoyed too. I particularly liked how the hot, crispy onion rings go with the baby back ribs.

Check it out at Morganfield’s Da Men!

Nana Plaza – The World’s Largest Adult Playgound

Nana-Plaza

I am not into the paid sex scene so I have very few experiences in that arena. I’ve had occasions where I partook in the less unsavory aspects of commercial sex during my work – mostly GRO entertainers – so I’m not totally naïve about the industry. I did a bit of research about go go bars before my Bangkok trip, but it was mostly as masturbatory fantasy material instead of a serious desire to go.

Go go bars are drinking establishments with female entertainment. These girls are dressed in bikinis but there are a few bars where they’ll go topless or fully nude. It’s kinda like a strip club, except you can pay the girls for sex. I thought I’ll have a drink and see what’s going on, and that’s how I ended up at Nana Plaza, dubbed The World’s Largest Adult Playground. The 6 beers I had in Upstairs @ Mikkeler had something to do with my decision, I’m sure.

The first go go bar I went to was Billboard Go Go. It’s a fully nude bar with shows on the stage. The numbered girls stand and dance on a raised area, in the hopes that you’ll pick them. The first act had a girl pretending to play the violin while flashing her shaved pussy and exposed tits at the customers. Pardon my crude language. I’m not sure how else to describe that vivid scene. You can also get the girls to sit with you for a lady’s drink (about RM 20). They’ll talk to you for about 20-30 minutes and you’re free to let your hands wander.

Gogo-Girl

I didn’t find most of the girls in there attractive but there was one young looking stunner that was quite beautiful. Photos are not allowed inside but people like Stickman Bangkok with more access frequently post photos on their Facebook. This is the exact same girl that sat with me. It should be noted that she’s easily the hottest one in the bar, and the only one I found alluring enough.

These girls are not shy, and would not object to you touching them all over their body. You can even suck on their nipples, although this is frowned upon by the establishment, as you’re expected to bring them out for such public and lewd displays of affection. I did just that and the mamasan tutted at me. No one stops you, least of all the girl, but I got the feeling it may be something that’s not commonly done in full view of other patrons.

Gogo-Bangkok

They will pitch you to bring them out for sex, which involves a 700 baht bar fine plus 1,500 baht for the actual coitus. All in, you can have a shag for less than RM 300, which I hear is quite a deal for this type of quality. However, that’s not what I was after so I declined and went to another go go bar to check out the living entertainment. I was tempted though. I would be a bald-faced liar if I said I wasn’t. This is a young, sexy girl.

The other go go bar was Butterflies, which only had topless girls. They have a jacuzzi in the middle of the bar area, so girls are constantly dancing in front and on top of you while you enjoy a cold brew. Beers are reasonably priced (around RM 20) and the girl’s drinks are also in that range. I saw a very, very young looking girl who looked all of 13/14 but says she’s 21. Her underdeveloped boobs and skinny frame was outclassed by all the other girls but she’s super popular among the pedophile-leaning group coz she looks illegally young. In the hour I was there, I saw an old fat Caucasian and another young dude in his 20s fondling her.

The reason I’m not into commercial sex is twofold. As a reasonably attractive guy, I don’t find lots of aesthetically pleasing females working in the sex industry. They’re usually worn out and jaded. I would need to be paid (instead of paying them) if I were to bang any of them. These are not girls I would willingly hook up with, they’re way below my minimum standards.

The other reason is coz I want sex with someone who’s also into you. These girls are paid to get you off, they’re not attracted to you, no matter what you think. Sex with someone you find hot and who also finds you sexy is very arousing and fun. People who follow me on Facebook know that I hook up with random people sometimes, so my attitudes towards paid sex isn’t reflective of any puritanical values.

I just want sex to be something that’s enjoyed between two willing and interested parties. So even though I found the first girl attractive, it’s a no for me. I did enjoy the groping though. They’ll even let you insert one of your digits into her crevasse, if you catch my drift. You’ll probably need industrial grade bleach to purify your fingers afterwards though. 😄

Cooking my own Thipsamai branded Pad Thai (Bib Gourmand)

Thipsamai

Thipsamai is a Bangkok institution that serves up pad thai in a huge multi-room sprawling empire in Pratuphee. There is a long queue snaking out the front every single night. The army of chefs work fast though so the line moves relatively quickly. They’ve recently been honored in the Michelin Bib Gourmand listings and I decided to check them out after my visit to Raan Jay Fai.

Thipsamai-Bangkok

I had eaten at Elvis Suki, Raan Jay Fai and Tongue Fun ice cream in the past 3 hours so I was quite full. Fortunately, Thipsamai has a gift shop inside their restaurant that carries complete, ready-to-cook versions of their famous pad thai! Enterprising bastards! I decided to forgo eating there and get some packs to bring home instead. I also bought one of their branded plates and glasses so I could replicate the meal at home. At least, that’s what I told myself but I really wanted souvenirs too.

Pad-Thai

For my first attempt, I armed myself with large prawns (can’t have pad thai without shrimp), roasted peanuts (which I crushed), spring onions, firm tofu, egg and butter. I used the regular green version (the red one has shrimp oil). The packaging said to fry the dry pad thai noodles in oil till soft before mixing the sauce packet with an equal amount of water and pouring it in.

HB-Chopping

I thought it was a bit unusual to fry dehydrated noodles with butter without rehydrating them first but it works!

HB-Cooking

Here’s another photo of me doing domestic things while wearing a stringer that shows off my muscles for your viewing pleasure.

Maha-Nakhon

I paired it with a Maha Nakhon bottled beer I painstakingly brought back from Bangkok. This was the only one that survived. Another Cheers can exploded in mid-air from the air pressure differential and soaked all my packed clothes. The pad thai was decent but I felt like it could be improved.

Pad-Thai-Cooking

Thus, I refined my processes during my second try a week later. I used the red Thipsamai pad thai box with shrimp oil this time. I also bought bean sprouts (which I forgot the first time around) and Thai bird eye chillis. I fried the eggs first in a separate frying pan and made a flat omelet that I sliced into strips before adding it during the final stir. I also cracked in a raw egg to help things bind together.

Pad-Thai-Thipsamai

I threw in half of the bean sprouts, omelet, Thai chilli and spring onions and used the other half as a raw garnish so it remains crunchy. I also had a squeeze of lime and crushed peanuts as a topping. This version is insanely delicious! I love the combination of sweet notes from the peanuts and butter, the salty overtones from the pad thai sauce, the raw elements in the bean sprouts and spring onions, followed by a nice kick from the Thai chillies. I’ll rate it 10/10 if I’m allowed to rate my own cooking.

Thipsamai-Pad-Thai

I respect how Thipsamai pad thai leverages on their success by selling branded food and souvenirs. I’m all about resourceful minds and I enjoy food related souvenirs. That’s the only type of souvenir I buy. I got one of their vintage fridge magnets to put on my fridge and their Thipsamai plate and glass (same as the ones they use in-house) has been one of my favorite crockery for plating. I’ll be sure to revisit when I’m in Bangkok again to see how my own take on their ready-to-cook pad thai compares with the restaurant version.

Gaggan – 2 Michelin star 26-course dinner with wine pairing, a very detailed and long writeup

Gaggan-Experience

I was almost late to my 9:30 pm Gaggan dinner reservation. I had an exclusive seat at The Lab (Chef’s Table) and I hear they’ll only keep your reservation for 5 minutes before releasing it to someone else. Three Grab cars in a row cancelled on me. This was the highlight of my Bangkok trip, a 2 Michelin star progressive Indian feast that will set me back RM 1,600+ per person, and I didn’t want to miss it. Thankfully, the 4th driver came and sped me there with minutes to spare.

Gaggan-Bangkok

Gaggan is in a renovated mansion with two floors. I saw every single table was occupied. Mind you, reservations are made at least a month in advance so that’s impressive. I was greeted by an attractive young lady by name. She must have matched me to my email profile picture. She escorted me upstairs and held my seat for me. This is the type of restaurant that does that whenever you get up to pee but it doesn’t come across as intrusive or excessive, partly due to the friendly and approachable nature of the staff.

Gaggan-House

The Lab is a bar seating arrangement of 12 people curved in a U shape with the kitchen in the middle. All the chefs work inside so you can see them cooking and preparing your dishes. It’s also a super interactive session – the chefs all introduced themselves and explained every dish in detail. They also passed ingredients to us to touch and try. It’s like a Show and Tell session, but better! I was lucky to snag one of these coveted seats with just a month’s advance booking.

The-Lab

I also went for the wine pairing (4,500 baht/RM 580) for the ultimate experience. The sommelier was a nice Japanese guy. He’s knowledgeable and personable but at times I found his accented English difficult to understand. That said though, there’s something to be said about hearing Japanese accented English, it really ties the experience together coz the chefs are so multicultural! There are people from Norway to Africa!

Tablemates

The dinner started with the chefs getting everyone seated at The Lab to introduce themselves. I was first so I told them where I was from and what I was doing in Bangkok. The others came from a varied background – there was a newlywed couple from New York (a celebratory dessert was prepared for the entire table by Gaggan) and a female duo from Hong Kong (one of whom is a chef). I thought this was an excellent way to break the ice and get the guests seated at the Chef’s Table to talk amongst themselves.

Emoji-Menu

The famous emoji menu of Gaggan was presented to us. Each dish was described with one emoji, nothing else. You get the general idea of what the dish is about but you’ll only know the full details when they present you with the transparent overlay with words to go with the emojis at the end of the experience.

Champagne

Champagne was served with the first few courses. I won’t pretend to be knowledgeable about wine so I’ll just show the labels and when it was served so you’ll have an idea of the wines you’ll get with the wine pairing.

Peach

The first dish was 🍑 – peaches from Yamagata. This is a bigger portion that I expected. There are at least 26 courses in total so I expected each to be bite-sized but a lot of them were quite substantial. The chefs explained that these are peaches imported from Yamagata, which are known for their lovely pink skin and soft, white flesh. Perfect.

Explode

💥 – plain yoghurt with masala and black salt was next. This is a Gaggan signature. It was featured in the Netflix series Chef’s Table. There’s a strong boiled egg sulfur flavor. The yoghurt explodes when you bite into it. It literally bursts out with intense sulfur and masala overtones.

Tongue

The third plate was ingenious – 👅. These are sauces and dusts on a plate and they blasted the rock song “Lick it up” when we were eating this course. A few people were apprehensive at first, but we all got over the self-consciousness and started bringing the plate up to our faces and tonguing the sauces off.

Lick

It’s a brilliant way to disinhibit the diners. This picture got a lot of traction on my Facebook too.

Lick-it-up

Very good! *thumbs up*

Wine

A white wine came for the next few courses.

Cheese

This is 🧀. It’s batter of milk, milk fat, and milk solids fried with ghee to make a “cheese”. There’s no flour used and the base is crispy. It’s very interesting and the start of the series which uses oddly shaped white plates. You’ll find out what the plates are about soon.

Eggplant

🍆 is fresh eggplant cooked then put into the blast chiller and freeze dried for 6 days. So intensely flavored. It’s like a drop of eggplant essence. Very wow.

Dehydrated-Eggplant

The chefs also handed over two eggplants for us to touch and smell. The first one is a regular eggplant and the second after it’s been through the six day freeze drying process.

Rice

Idly is 🍚 – a savory rice cake, except this is idly shrunk 200 times and topped with a dehydrated curry leaf! It’s also 200x more expensive. It’s so soft and subtle – love the spongy bottom.

Second-Wine

I believe this is a natural wine. It’s paired with the upcoming courses.

Black

The mysterious ⚫ turned out to be a fried snack. I thought it was dhall inside and said so when the chefs asked if anyone knew what that was. It turned out to be chickpea samosa! It’s very hot.

Egg

🥚 is a vegetarian egg filled with liquid on a crispy and sweet nest. The shell bursts the moment you put this in your mouth. The bright and acidic liquid goes very well with the nest. This ended the white plates series and we’re supposed to fit all the empty plates together.

India

There’s a reason the empty plates weren’t cleared – they combine to make (no surprises here) India! It’s the continent Gaggan is from and all the previous dishes on the white plates have heavy Indian influences.

Forage

Brioche and mushroom was the 🍄 dish. It gives off a smoky scent when you open it.

Mushroom

Only one of the mushrooms is edible and you’re supposed to forage for the right one. I tasted a few wooden ones before I realized the edible mushroom is the hot one. I like this interactive rummaging.

Third-Wine

The wine pairing was very good. Although I’m not a wine geek and thus unable to describe the flavors in detail, I know that it went swimmingly with the food.

Ice-Cream

🍦 – ice cream presented as white asparagus. This is smoked and finished at your table.

White-Asparagus

The chefs told us we must eat this quickly before it melts.

Chilli

Som tam with green mango ice cream was 🌶️, delivered in a wrap and nicely plated on mung beans. Som tam is the Thai salad made with young mango slices. The baby tomatoes are from Japan. I love this – it’s very cold and acidic. My table mates loved it too.

Cold-Brew

The chefs showed us a cold brew device normally used to make coffee. They’re using it to filter French quail through the machine and it slowly drips in the background to be served 3 courses from now, coz that’s how long it takes to condense.

Curry

Curry is represented by 🍲 inside a panipuri casing. The secret curry inside is super creamy and sticks intently to your throat. Excellent.

Sake

Sake from Japan broke up the wine pairing. It’s meant to go with the Japanese food in the upcoming dishes.

Green-Apple

🍏 marks the start of the Japanese series and is the best grade of Japanese uni imported from Hokkaido paired with chutney ice cream and a green apple “seaweed”. It’s very delicious and the uni is remarkable. I liked the unusual pairing of ingredients too. Brilliant!

Sushi

🍣 is not sushi. It’s meringue made out of dashi. The wasabi and otoro is from Nagasaki and it’s finished with yuzu that’s been freeze dried so it can be grated. Wow! I loved this too.

Dehydrated-Yuzu

This is the yuzu fruit that’s been freeze dried.

Wasabi

They also have excellent quality real wasabi plant flown in from Japan. This is what you’re paying for, and also why a seat at The Lab is so fun. There’s the show and tell you wouldn’t get at a normal table.

Corn

The quail from before was the 🌽 course. It’s quail breast and the quail “tea” from the cold drip coffee device. The quail tea is hot and smells like charcoal. You’ll notice that Gaggan doesn’t offer any utensils – you’re supposed to eat everything with your hands and fingers! You drink the soup first, then fish out the quail breast. I love piece of charred micro corn at the bottom, which this dish is named for.

Fourth-Wine

This is the next wine in the wine pairing.

Prawn

Next up is 🍤 – fresh prawn from Thailand smoked in a tandoori with dehydrated curry on the side. It’s very salty for me but I like the thought that goes behind it. The curry is cooked, then painstakingly dehydrated for days so it turns into an intense tasting powder.

Coconut

Shake off your conceptions about curry with 🥥. It’s cold and raw curry (two no-nos) with scallops that you’re supposed to swirl and mix before eating.

Fifth-Wine

I hear this drawing is a portrait of the winemaker! It went with the next couple of dishes.

Dumpling

🥟 of pork vindaloo cooked for 12 hours. It’s a very acidic curry. The momo is made with wine sauce. The “dumpling” is made of black garlic cracker with 2 different chutneys and 2 different pickles. Not my favorite coz it’s super fatty.

Lamb

A huge lamb chop for 🐑. This is the most normal looking dish of the Gaggan experience. It’s marinated in chilli and cooked in a tandoori. Very smoky flavors! Again, you use your fingers to pick this up by the bone and gnaw at it. I also realized it’s coz Gaggan is Indian and Indians eat with their hands.

Sixth-Wine

There’s another wine pairing at this point. I don’t usually drink much and I was quite pleasantly buzzed at this point.

Light-it-up

The lights were completely turned off after that course was cleared so the whole restaurant was dark. Music blared from the speakers with a rock singer shouting “Light it up” while the chefs brought out torches and flamed a whole tray of banana leaf covered items.

Charred

The scorched banana leaves were presented to us and we’re told to open it after a moment has passed to ensure we wouldn’t burn our fingertips.

Fire

The leaf peels back to reveal local Thai seabass. This 🔥 recipe is from Gaggan’s mother.

Star

The theme song for Star Wars came on for the ⭐ course and a small, round blue Death Star was delivered to us. So fun! I love the quirky bits, coz it adds a lot of laughable moments to dinner.

Star-Wars

The Death Star opens to reveal fluffy white rice.

Rice-Curry

There’s another compartment at the bottom which reveals curry. It’s curry and rice, delivered in a miniature Death Star! This is the only course in the 26-course dinner than came with a spoon or any other utensil. Haha.

Dessert-Wine

This is the last of the wine pairing – a wine to go with the dessert courses.

Flower

The most beautiful and delicate dessert I’ve seen for 🌹. It takes 6 hours to make this rose and it’s presented inside a glass dome to preserve the scent.

Rose

The petals are made with beetroot and radish. The cookie base is made with chocolate chip. I like the unusual pairing of beetroot and radish with sweet chocolate. It’s a very mature dessert.

Sunflower

“Do you like pina coladas? And dancing it the rain?” This song came over the speakers for 🌻. It’s deep fried ice cream! This is my favorite dessert of the night. It tastes so good!!! I felt only three exclamation marks would do justice to how delicious this was.

Rainbow

This trippy looking dessert was paired with Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon for 🌈. The space ship is made with coffee and dark chocolate and you’re supposed to drag it through the citrus splashes before eating it. Unusual and progressive.

Yin-Yang

☯️ is saffron and black pepper ice cream with pistachio crumble. Wow. Just wow. The flavors remind me of a cheese cake but with two ingredients you don’t normally put into dessert (saffron and pepper). I have this tied for best dessert of the dinner experience. Exquisite. Such a beautiful medley in my mouth. I cannot say enough good things to do this breathtaking dish justice.

Newlyweds

Remember I said there was a newlywed couple from New York at our table? The chefs presented a special celebratory “cake” for them and they provided one for each of us too.

Cake

It’s a sphere that’s totally not cake but tastes like cake. So interesting!

Wines

These are all the wines we had over dinner!

Gaggan

The bill for dinner came up to 12,653 baht (RM 1,615) inclusive of a bottle of water and the Gaggan wine pairing experience. That’s a lot of money for a single meal for 1 pax but I wholeheartedly recommend it. It is without a doubt the best dinner I’ve ever experienced. It’s not just about the food, but the theatre, the story, and the fellow diners you embark on the journey with. Everything was managed so well the 3+ hours will be something I remember forever. You’ll love Gaggan if you’re a food geek and I consider it money well spent. Gaggan will be closing for good in 2020 so you only have 2 years left to check out this beautifully crafted dinner experience. Go. Now.

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