Ninja cooking vs Kung Fu cooking (kung fu chow)

ninja cooking

I was cooking last night when my better half looked up from where she was sitting at the dining table.

Ling: How come you cook no sound one?
Me: I’m stealth! I’m not doing kung fu chow.
Ling: What kind of cooking is that then?
Me: Erm…ninja chow?

We had a good laugh over that. I live in a studio apartment so I don’t have a gas stove. I have an electric hob and I favor butter and EVOO so my cooking tends to be silent compared to the loud, cacophony of traditional Chinese cooking known as kung fu chow.

Kung fu chow literally translates to kung fu cooking. It’s a kind of wok martial arts that is often accompanied by bursts of flame, the clang of a metal frying utensil on the wok and the sizzle of hot oil coming into contact with water.

The high heat involved produces a lot of “wok hei” – the intense heat that caramelizes and gives noodles its flavor. The elusive wok hei cannot be achieved with a non-stick frying pan and a plastic spatula on a electric heating element with a high powered hood to suck all the smoke away, which is what I have in my condo.

Thus, I tend to do more Western style cooking but I did a pretty good Chinese meal last night – ninja style! smirk

What’s your best looking side – left or right?

I’ve heard that everyone has one side that they look better in. The real pros actually navigate themselves so that their “best looking side” e.g. angle gets presented each time they take a photo. Heh.

right

I don’t know if I have a good looking side. Here’s my right profile.

left

…and this is my left side.

I think it looks just about the same but please do correct me if I’m wrong – I’ll love to know. 🙂

Do you have one side that you look better in?

3 delicious and dirt cheap meals with bread

I never eat white bread. It’s nutritionally inferior and I prefer the taste of brown bread nowadays anyway. I go for wholemeal/wholegrain (including the fad ones that has “enrichments” like Canadian Purple Wheat). It’s more expensive at RM 2.80 – RM 4.50 but definitely worth it for the additional vitamins for a balanced (hmm..) diet.

1. Sandwiches with surimi, sausages and boiled eggs

bread sausages surimi

This is considered a treat in survival mode. Heh. The surimi is store brand and family pack sized for extra savings, the sausages are the ultimate manifestation of mystery meat (plus it’s on sale at under RM 2) and eggs are eggs – you need them.

Coincidentally, these are the same items I use to cook ramen. smirk

2. Bread with milk

Ah! The staple since time immemorial. I’ll suggest fresh milk – it’s well worth the price premium for the fortified essentials – fat, for one. 😉

bread milk

Just plain bread goes a long way with flavorful fresh milk. Don’t skimp and go the reconstituted crap or low fat variants – if you’re in survival mode, you’ll need those extra calories.

3. Bread dipped in raw egg

This is a surprisingly delicious combo that I discovered. You can do it with balsamic vinegar and olive oil…so why not raw egg?

bread raw egg

Just crack one (chilled – leave it in the fridge for at least 24 hours) egg into a saucer and it can last for 4-5 slices of bread.

You can eat it by it’s own too, there’s taste and texture in some of the nut enriched ones and that’s what I do most of the time. These are just 3 examples are just to break the tedium of eating bread alone.

You know how it goes, man shall not live on bread alone. 😉

Pilfered breakfast in bed

pilfered breakfast

Bread: Near expiry locally made potato buns picked up from 7-Eleven several days ago
Spread: Pina Colada jam from Club Med, Phuket which is still edible, much to my surprise
Utensils: Disposable cup noodle fork (I eat two at once and keep the spare)
Tea: Gryphon’s English Breakfast Tea (from hotel’s complimentary array) brewed in a cheap ceramic cup with a knockoff design that was a free gift from a twin giant pack toothpaste purchase and a mini thermo lid which I have lost the receptacle from where it came

I was surprised at what I could dig up at home from basically nothing, creating food out of thin air. I’m still lazing around, reading an ebook and I reckon I’ll continue doing that. I haven’t even finished my breakfast, I just came over to write this. Heh.

breakfast in bed

It’s the breakfast of kings! 😀

I ate someone’s sweat

spit

Okay, I was on my way back home late last night when something very disgusting happened. I’ve posted about it on Facebook but I wanted it here for posterity…

…coz it’s really disgusting. 😡

I’m still a bit grossed out by what happened last night – this security guard I was trailing to get directions on where my car is took off his cap and brushed his sweaty hair before I could tap him on the shoulder and say excuse me.

Obviously, this resulted in surprisingly copious amounts of sweat being flicked to my face and inside my open mouth. (!!!)

I got the directions but it left a bad taste in my mouth. 😉

Ghetto microwave a.k.a. Cooking with an electric kettle

ghetto microwave

Yup, it functions almost exactly like one. Heh. Okay, let’s say your microwave suddenly stopped working and you need to heat up something in a jiffy.

Ideally, you don’t have to clean up anything too, which you’ll need to if you use the traditional method of a wok and boiling water with the food suspended above.

This is based on the same principle – the steam from an electric kettle (hereby dubbed a “ghetto microwave”) will do the same thing.

electric kettle

I did it with an awkward sized food item (in this case a sandwich/burger) that’s been in the fridge for a day. I just put some water in the ghetto microwave and turned it on. You don’t even need to hold the food there, just let the lid clamp over it.

There are only two downsides to this:

  • You need to rotate the food item to ensure thorough heating
  • You have to pop in and check on it once in a while coz the auto-shutoff mechanism won’t kick in when the lid is propped open like that

smirk

The Leaning Pole of Dresden

leaning pole dresden

This is a peculiar structure located in the middle of the old part of Dresden Square. It’s a pole that leans at a 45 degree angle. The oblique inclination of the pole points towards an underground passage that leads to a railway station but the pole itself has no particular significance that I could decipher.

It’s not an optical illusion.

There is no signage to illuminate questing minds as to why the pole is canted.

I didn’t know why it was leaning.

It’s as if the pole had lofty dreams of becoming an attraction equal or superior to the Leaning Tower of Pisa but never quite made it, gave up, started drinking and…well, leaning.

leaning pole dresden square

Thus, we dubbed it The Leaning Pole of Dresden and took stupid photos with it. Heh.

Beautiful blisters pregnant with pus

blisters pus

I was making coffee when I accidentally spilled boiling hot water all over my hand. It had the side effect of creating a rather large blister between the web of my thumb and index finger.

huge blister

The blister was filled with pus – it looked ripe for lancing when you form a fist.

draining pus

I poked it with a needle and the pus squirted out like it was pressurized. It’s a good thing I took off the white shirt I was wearing. Heh.

broken blisters

Good as new! 🙂

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