Hate the sin, love the sinner

Matthew 7 has a really good quote about judging others. The first verse goes “Do not judge, or you too will be judged” (NIV) of which the famous phrase “Judge not, lest ye be judged yourself” comes from.


I was born and raised a Christian and part of the reason I drifted away from the church is due to the unbiblical conduct of Christians. Christians are supposed to be followers of Christ, a beacon of light, the salt of the earth. I’m not talking about Christians committing sins, for that is the lesser evil.

I am turned off by the misguided fundamentalists who are quick to judge, inflexible and unforgiving. These are the ones who whisper, gossip and hate. Yes, hate. Not an emotion you usually associate with Christians. They sow seeds of hate, which is prohibited by the teachings of Jesus.

The Gospel according to St. Matthew has a gem of a phrase in Matthew 7:5: “You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

Taken in context, the preceding verses go “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?”

The “speck” and “plank” refers to sin, for the uninitiated. These are the very words uttered by Jesus Christ to his disciples 2,000 years ago.

I like the commentary by Matthew Henry (no relation to the Matthew who wrote the gospel, obviously) which describes the chapter as follows (emphasis mine):

We must judge ourselves, and judge of our own acts, but not make our word a law to everybody. We must not judge rashly, nor pass judgment upon our brother without any ground. We must not make the worst of people.

The Bible is very clear about this.

Gossip is another thing The Good Book (TM) has a very firm stance about. The Bible equates gossip to murder. I shall pick some choice morsels from the Bible to back this up.

Romans 1:29 – “They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips.” (Note how Paul puts gossipers and slanderers in the same league as murderers)

1 Timothy 5:13 – “Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying things they ought not to.

Ephesians 4:29 – “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

James 1:26 – “If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight reign on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.

One thing that my father (who is a very devout Christian) taught me is this: love. I’m sure a lot of you is familiar with The First Epistle to the Corinthians (1 Corinthians – an epistle is a letter) where Paul wrote on the subject in Chapter 13. “Love is patient, love is kind.” Perhaps a more familiar phrase would be “Love your neighbor as you love yourself”.

I asked my dad once, how is it possible to love when the people around you insult you, gossip about you, and slander your good name? He replied simply, “Love the sinner, but hate the sin“.

A lot of fundamentalists claim this is not actually biblical and originated from Gandhi’s autobiography where he writes “Hate the sin and not the sinner”. However, St. Augustine taught that ages before Gandhi was even born – Cum dilectione hominum et odio vitiorum which translates to “Love all mankind, but maintain a hatred of their sins”.

I’ve always liked that phrase, not because it provides a convenient excuse for my lifestyle, but because it is biblically sound. 1 John says “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”

A true act of love is treating someone with respect and kindness even though you do not approve of their lifestyle.

You talk the talk, you attend church every Sunday, but do you truly walk the walk?

You ask yourself that before you judge me.

I find solace in The Beatitudes: “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you…rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven.”

I leave you with one last verse from the Bible: “If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

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113 thoughts on “Hate the sin, love the sinner”

  1. Eh, I was about to write about F1 but a conversation with a friend led me to rant instead. I’ll write about the F1 race tomorrow. πŸ™‚

  2. Try this: John 8:3-11.
    He stood up and said to them, He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her….. And when they heard that, they went out one by one, beginning with the older ones….. And Jesus stood up and said to her, Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you? And she said, No one, Lord. And Jesus said, Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.

  3. well said bro…good post! I strongly agree with your phrase “You talk the talk, you attend church every Sunday, but do you truly walk the walk?”
    here’s my 1st comment after reading for yrs. I’ve been a fan of your site ever since ur “pei ka” days in melb hehe…loved the way you write…coz i used to do substances as well hehe =)

  4. Dude, i thought u don’t do politics… As a good saying goes “religion does not make the man, a man makes the religion”

  5. Hey, was the conversation was a bit of stir or what? You sound unhappy. Take good care of yourself, alright?
    p/s: if you posting f1 tmr.. by chance can you please post Hamilton, Kimmi, Massa, Button’s photos if you got some. But please don’t post THAT thick eyebrows- dude – Alonso. πŸ˜‰

  6. Had this conversation many times, the ‘Christians’ in Malaysia are especially un-Christian like.
    They gossip, they judge, they force religion on people, they are intolerant, impatient and generally not good Christians.

  7. HB, well I am a church person but I never wear a cross. Going to church or not as long you are a good person and not hurt other. Selfish, greedy dishonest, ect people are the one who really need to go to churchs or temples. They are the one who need to be guided.

  8. Very well written indeed. Me like.
    I am a Christian as well but I don’t go around telling people I am one. It’s not that I’m not proud being a disciple of God *cough* but I believe it’s a relationship between me and God so there’s no need to tell the whole world.
    I remembered CLEARLY an incident of a close friend. I was in a relationship with my first love back then and she knew that me and bf were getting “closer” (not sex, really) and started to give me LOTS of PRO-STAR and Church related articles about how we shouldn’t have sex and all. I was insulted but thought she was being a good friend and she’s always been very holy – at least in my eyes. She would give me lots Church related stuff and YES, she attended the mass without a miss every Sunday. Months later, her BF TOLD ME HOW HE FUCKED HER and their sexual activities.
    I have said this a thousand times. I HATE PEOPLE WHO PREACH TO ME LIKE THEY HAVE MET JESUS. I never like attending testimony and all that shyt. These preachers are just like me. Sinners. So what made them better than me to preach to me? Only one person can do the preaching. That’s God.
    It’s true what Shaolin Tiger said, Christians gossip and judge. and this go especially to those that goes to Church. I know the dirty politics that is going around in the Church committee itself.
    It’s a sad case isn’t it ?
    (sorry for the lengthy comment!!)

  9. ‘We must not make the worst of people’ – i like this.. i always believe no matter what bad experience you have with someone, as time goes by, you should get over it and not hold any grudges, cuz life’s too short to hate anyone..
    anyway, are you alright HB? take care ok… πŸ™‚

  10. I’ve always been impressed with how well versed you are with the Bible. It’s one thing to disagree with intelligence and another altogether to hop on the “I hate jesus, I’m cool!” bandwagon.

  11. My personal opinion on this issue is..
    If you look upon :”people” then you will never attend church/read bibles/pray or approach God. God does not ask us to look upon other people. God wants us to look upon Him only. Why do we need to look upon other people for they are sinners like us also? It’s between God & us. If we believe in Him, we would surely worship Him and pray to Him always. Also, we have to accept people =hypocrites , even ourselves. This is human nature and have you ever wonder, “Why God doesn’t create perfect human?”

  12. My personal opinion on this issue is..
    If you look upon :”people” then you will never attend church/read bibles/pray or approach God. God does not ask us to look upon other people. God wants us to look upon Him only. Why do we need to look upon other people for they are sinners like us also? It’s between God & us. If we believe in Him, we would surely worship Him and pray to Him always. Also, we have to accept people =hypocrites , even ourselves. This is human nature and have you ever wonder, “Why God doesn’t create perfect human?”

  13. Christians are still human. The problem ppl have with Christians is that they DARE to preach about not gossiping, not slandering, not judging… But they still do it.
    People think the definition of a Christian is someone who doesn’t do those things.
    I am a Christian.
    I admit I gossip. I slander. I judge.
    Who here dares to throw a stone at me?
    But its because I have a r’ship with the Big Guy who still loves me DESPITE my flaws.
    That is what makes me a Christian.

  14. However. I do understand what your going through. Cos I’m going through the same things myself. It jz pisses me off that there are some ppl who sit on the high and mighty throne and think they have a RIGHT to judge me.
    I apologize on behalf of all us Christians.

  15. I’m a christian and on behalf of all christians I seek your forgiveness if we’ve offended you in any way.
    That being said I would also humbly say that your generalisation of christian whilst somewhat true is not to be said of the majority. Many of us are just like all mankind – flawed and perversed in so many ways. We certainly don’t sit on any high horses and start passing judgement. The difference is that we have a relationship with an all loving GOD who is graceful and merciful; who still loves us no matter what we are, do. And when such a relationship is so real, you can’t help but to seek to please the Father above, its just natural…doesn’t mean we don’t sin but we try our darnest not to.
    We all know right from wrong and most ppl have good conscience and HB, you of all ppl I believe is painfully aware of your conscience and I know it’s something that you battle with….religion or no religion. You obviously have had a very solid christian teachings and perhaps even some moments with God…well take heart my friend He will always be there for you!

  16. hi Huai Bin,
    dont be discourage, the bible says in
    MATT 7:21,
    “Not everyone who says to me “Lord Lord” shall enter the kingdom of Heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in Heaven”.
    proceed to read the next few verses=)
    for a person to call Father God “Lord” MUST be a christian, or someone who claims to be one. Hence the bible already states clearly that those ppl will not enter heaven. Do not be discourage with what others do, because no one is perfect and JESUS clearly comes to save Sinners. i hope that you will turn ur eyes and focus on Jesus ALONE.=)

  17. I am not really christian
    even though i officialy am protestant
    I generally think the teachings in the bible are pretty usefull and good, but on the other hand i cant believe in a god who created us
    and i cant go to church
    on the other hand i am glad that you spread christianity πŸ™‚

  18. jeff- apologizing on behalf of ALL Christians?! I don’t think ALL the other Christians did Huai Bin any wrong.
    Every religion has a few bad apples, every church, temple, mosque has their little corrupted political scheme going on.
    So you might as well apologize on behalf of all mankind.

  19. All I can say is Wow. what a powerful statement. You go, HB!!! Took the words right out of my mouth. I am speachless.( an odd condition for me, as you probably have noted) I am saving this this if you do not mind.
    God Bless You;

  20. A pastor once preached to me “Christians are forgiven people but not perfect people!”
    I think there shud not be an issue of going 2 church because of the people. Is your walk with him, even if other christians mock or talk thrash about u or others. V hv no right 2 even interpret the situation, v shud try 2 advice tht brother / sister regardless of whether they heed or not, u at least kno u did yr part.

  21. A pastor once preached to me “Christians are forgiven people but not perfect people!”
    I think there shud not be an issue of going 2 church because of the people. Is your walk with him, even if other christians mock or talk thrash about u or others. V hv no right 2 even interpret the situation, v shud try 2 advice tht brother / sister regardless of whether they heed or not, u at least kno u did yr part.

  22. Sorry I missed your birthday Hb. I was out of town, so to speak. But that birthday stuff was nice. also, one of the photos looke like a wee bit of hagigis, God help you. ( scots have to have a bit of whiskey to wash that down, you know) Here is a toast to you- may the wind blow soft across your fields….And may God hold you in the hollow of His Hand.(ps your hair looks ok, just wait till it starts turning grey, like mine)

  23. May the road rise to meet you
    May the wind be always at your back
    The sun shine warm upon your face
    The rains fall soft upon your fields
    And until we meet again,
    May God hold you in the hollow of his hand.

  24. Good one there. I love the pharse from the Gospel in Matthew 7:5: “You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. This is extremely true. We can’t judge others whereas we ourselves are wrong. But still, people judge others as there is no tommorow

  25. Yeah, i know what you mean. Those church people are a whole bunch of hypocrites some of them are.
    I too drifted off because I didn’t see the point in publicly showing off that I’m a good church goer and that i pray by kneeling on both my knees and bull.
    I think it’s a personal thing for every individual, and to even be questioned of ones faith by some tom dick and harry who knows nuts about you is utterly rude and repulsive. πŸ™‚
    So that’s church.
    God bless us all.
    As we are brothers and sisters in Christ .
    moving on.

  26. Okay, I’m so sleep deprived it’s not even funny anymore.
    Work has been hectic. Long hours. :S
    Anyway, reply all the comments tomorrow. I need to catch up on sleep.
    Cheers for the feedback everyone!

  27. i get what you’re saying. i used to be the devout christian you speak about with that hint of contempt. i tried my best not to gossip, slander, or any of the things you mentioned. and if sometimes, as any human errs, i slipped, i definitely felt the guilt of my conscience. somehow, i have a feeling that the same people you’ve identified and couldn’t accept and probably never got close enough to know deeply probably felt the same guilt. people who are “fundamentalist” aren’t born that way. it’s because they spent their whole life doing their best and probably with more discipline than most people to be Christ-like. it is sad that they become the pharisees, but God understands that and accepts them, too. so if God accepts them, who are we to judge?
    when i was 25, my like took a very big change and i found myself stepping into a lot of temptation that walked into, although at the back of my mind i knew it was against biblical teachings. think breaking serious commandments here. nothing has been the same ever since. it’s like eating that fruit in the garden of eden and your eyes are opened to your nakedness. that’s a whole other discussion for another day. i got so angry. i was angry at the whole fucking world. my fucked up childhood, fucking pharisees, fucking gossipers, fuck everything, really.
    after some time and perspective, alot of self-reflection and getting real over a long, drawn out and painful period, i realized, how is being on either side better than the other. yeah, they got that huge plank, but when i piss off at them, i’m doing the exact same thing. i stop going to church, i stop being so involved, but the only thing that’s really hurting is my relationship with God. when i get so angry, it builds a huge wall between me and Him.
    we are kinder to certain types of sinners because we associate, relate, and understand it more, like people who sin the way we sin. i think those who are able to see pharisee-like behaviours and can still continue to go to church and participate and be accepting, those are the people i want to hang out with when i step into God’s house. you are right, they are the sinner, we hate their gossip and slander, but we have to love them, too. after all, they are part of the body of Christ, just like you and me.
    just sounding off. thx for posting this! πŸ™‚

  28. Naoko: Yeah, I understand what you mean. People always say to look to Christ, not at Christians. You can do that at home. πŸ˜‰
    Joyce: I love that verse! πŸ™‚
    I quote it a lot too – he who is without sin throw the first stone, and the last bit where Jesus goes “go and leave your life of sin”. πŸ™‚
    skull-fire: Heh! Thanks buddy. Appreciate the kind comments.
    Hmm…God often brings like minded souls together. πŸ˜‰
    dymm_tuanku: Yeah, but I do rants. πŸ˜‰
    Well said, my friend. πŸ™‚
    Z0E: Indeed it does…rumors, gossip and slander has been in the church since the days of the apostle and it still is here now.
    cynthia: I’m alright. Thanks Cynthia! πŸ™‚
    The race got cancelled unfortunately.
    Congrats again! πŸ™‚
    Okay, all the other comments later – gotta get back to work. Cheers!

  29. Arth Akal: Heh! Yeah, I would believe it. I used to go to church too. πŸ˜‰
    ShaolinTiger: Yeah, I hear you mate. Judgemental and intolerant – if we were living in another age, we’ll probably be crusaders. πŸ˜‰
    Drinking? Fornicating? Repent! Convert or die! πŸ˜‰
    Michael (Mike): I wear a cross, I have a tattoo of a Celtic cross on my back, and I enjoy reading the bible but I’m not actively involved in the church. πŸ™‚
    chefmel: Interesting anecdote, thanks for sharing that! πŸ™‚
    Yeah, unfortunately there are all too many hypocrites around.
    I was told to look at Christ, not at Christians by an ex gf of mine. Very wise words indeed.
    However, a phrase from the bible goes “Do not allow yourself to be a stumblingblock to others” so Christians who sin (be it murder or gossip) in organized religion with a semi-closed community just perpetuates the cycle, and they sin even more by encouraging this culture of talking shit about others.
    nalexa: Yeah, I’m alright. Thanks for the concern. πŸ™‚
    Trey: Thanks Trey! πŸ™‚
    Yeah, above all things, I value intelligence and knowledge the most. πŸ™‚
    eric: Indeed. I agree totally – look at Christ, not at the Christian. It’s a convenient excuse for Christians to excuse their behavior though. πŸ˜‰
    erin: That’s true, but the bible also encourages us to turn our back on sin. We sin, but to allow the sin to continue is not very Christian-like. The Good Book (TM) stresses repentance…to turn your back on sin, and sin NO MORE. πŸ™‚
    Salvation through grace, not through works, that’s true.
    …but malicious gossip can cause a lot of trouble too. Perhaps the term “character assassination” was coined by Paul. πŸ˜‰
    Cheers erin, appreciate your feedback.
    Alright, all other comments later. Back to the daily grind.

  30. luke: I know, my friend. I was generalizing. πŸ™‚
    erin: Yeah, it’s those high and mighty types that gets my panties in a bunch. πŸ™‚
    M: Organized religion is evil. :S
    Chong: Protestants are generally more passive in preaching the gospel although I’ve seen some evangelical Christians. Jehovah’s Witnesses are the ones to watch out for. πŸ˜‰
    Jade Zheng: Yeah, I love it too! πŸ™‚
    Unfortunately, a lot of Christians here conveniently forget that phrase.
    eiling: Yeah, I remember that. Haha! On the trip to Ipoh I was ranting about the state of the union as well. Oh well.
    jeff: Thanks for the well written comment, my friend. Yeah, I was generalizing. My apologies for that. You have got some great points there.
    Aileen: Thanks! πŸ™‚
    Yeah, I memorized that verse too. It’s also one of my favorites along with a verse in Romans about sin.
    WISWONG: I have distanced myself from the church. I’m agnostic now. I will believe in God when I see him.
    shadowking: Same here. πŸ™‚
    Born and raised a Christian, just drifted away from church as I grew older and learnt things.
    The Bible says that in order to enter the kingdom of heaven, you must have child-like faith.
    I don’t have child-like faith anymore. Age took care of that.
    Z0E: True, every religion has its share of bad apples. However, due to my exposure (church, since I’m not a Muslim or Buddhist) all the hypocrites I’ve seen are Christians. πŸ˜‰
    Friend: Creator? I’m not him. I’m just voicing our my views about the sad state Christianity is in now. Cultural Christianity is the norm.
    tom: Thanks buddy! I’m glad you liked it. πŸ™‚
    Sean: Yeah, that’s what my ex used to say too – look at Christ, not at Christians. πŸ™‚
    tom: No worries, my friend.
    Thank you for the birthday wishes, it’s much appreciated. πŸ™‚
    I love that piece you wrote, it’s beautiful.
    Aaron: Indeed! Most Christians haven’t even completed a single reading of the bible. I’ve read it TWICE in a span of 3 months.
    clarisseteagen: Amen, sister in Christ. πŸ™‚
    I feel the same way.
    Christianity is a personal thing. You don’t need to go to church to be a “Christian”.
    Hell, a lot of Christians isn’t even familiar with the scripture, only what the pastor decides to preach that Sunday!
    Jesus H. Christ. I believe that Christians should at least be familiar with the scripture before proclaiming themselves as Christians.
    I hear a lot of Christians say, “Oh, I haven’t read that book yet” or “I’ve only read the New Testament” or worst only the gospels. You can’t pick and choose God’s word. You take it in its entierity.
    viewer: Great post my friend. I wish you weren’t anonymous, those are great points indeed. I like how you said “we are kinder to certain types of sinners because we associate, relate, and understand it more, like people who sin the way we sin”.
    I couldn’t have said it better…and that’s what’s wrong with the world.
    victor: Thanks victor! I tend to rant once in a while when I’ve got a bee in my bonnet. πŸ˜‰

  31. “Love the sinner, but hate the sin”.
    I very much respect your Fathers beliefs. I wish I was as forgiving.
    Being human (or humane) no longer hold meaning in our modern times. We cannot expect anybody to ‘do the right thing’ as it were. Even God will judge us through our actions, and we hope he will love us enough to overlook our flaws. I doubt it.

  32. britishasian: I totally agree mate, it’s hard to be a Christian today, I can see people who claim to be but is no better than a pagan hypocrite.
    I am agnostic now.
    Christ: Thanks, glad you like my rant. πŸ™‚

  33. very interesting but along ways from the truth. Where in scripture does it say that we give up on going to church because we do not always agree with others. There are more than one church and sometimes with God’s guidance, we may have to search for a church of truth. We are told in God’s word to assemble ourselves with others in his name. You are hurting no one but yourslf when you stop attending church. God’s word says we are to judge the sin and actions of others. It is our responibility to expose sin. Read Matt 18:15-17, 1Cor 2:15, Eph 6:12. Why do people pick out scripture to fit or justify. It may ease your conscience or make you feel better and justified in your sin, but it is not truth. We need to know all of God’s truth, not just half. May God Bless you and give you a better understanding.

  34. boo: …coz that’s what people do, they pick and choose verses from the scripture to justify their actions. They always have, and always will.
    Thanks for dropping by. πŸ™‚

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