Why the hell did I sleep with you?

bedtime stories

I was sharing the Rule of Three during a post-coital conversation with my partner. The Rule of Three, for the uninitiated, is the formula which aims to nullify male bravado and female diffidence with regards to the number of sexual partners.

The formula goes:
Male:
Take number of sexual partners and divide by 3
Female: Take number of sexual partners and multiply by 3

My partner told me she only had one prior sexual partner – her ex-boyfriend. I told her that according to The Rule of Three – that means she actually slept with 3 guys (multiply by three for females). I’ve told her previously that I’ve had 3 sexual partners in the past so she’s the forth.

HB: Thus, according to The Rule of Three, I’ve only had one – 4 divided by 3 leaves one, so you’re the first. :)
XX: I don’t believe that.
HB: Yeah, I told you the truth the first time, I’ve only slept with three of my ex-girlfriends before.
XX: Why the hell did I sleep with you?

………….

XX: Coz I really do like you.
(This was said after 3 minutes as she took off her clothes to take a shower. The 3 minutes was spent diligently typing the entire conversation on my cell phone with one hand. One thumb rather. With her watching over my shoulder. I was LMAO the entire time.)

………….

(after the shower)
XX: You’re the only guy I spontaneously slept with. I’ve only known you for two days. I still don’t know why I slept with you.
(after a minute of pondering)
XX: Okay, I do know. I like you. You’re only the second guy I slept with.
(after looking at me for my reaction)
XX: Damn, I should not have fallen for that smile of yours in the first place.
(after a pause while smiling at me)
XX: Hey, if I said I actually did fall in love with you in the past few days, would you believe me?
HB: Yes, I would. :)

…now go to sleep, we’ve got work tomorrow.

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39 thoughts on “Why the hell did I sleep with you?

  1. HB, I was reading this and about choked on my one and only beer tonight. I swear , well. mayhap I have had 3 ) The rule of three. That is truth, and one for the ages I reckon. ( but officer, I only had one beer, not three. OK buddy, get out of the car… they know you are lying, cause they been there and done it themselves.) But I had never heard it put so bluntly. If you love a lady, you do not want to enqire to much into her past life. Nor does she need to know all your past history. Hope you love the lady, and I wish you well. You deserve it. And just maybe , so does she. maybe you have heard of the old irish/welsh saying — third time is the charm? Tom

  2. I always enjoy reading your site, HB. I like the little nuances that make all the difference. You teach me alot. ( “bedtime stories” is the name of an adult book store- ie porno, here in WNC) But I hope you and all your family are fine. But to “fine” some wine or other non taxed illicet alcohol products such as some nefarious Irish forbearers might have made around here, means just to age or calrify that product. Anyways, here is hoping you are fine as wine, and all those you love also.
    Tom

  3. Officially everything in FINE is Fiction. I’m going to move Recreational Drugs and Recreational Pharmaceuticals in here too. ;)
    e: Heh! Thanks buddy. Yup, am living life, my friend. :)
    kennysia: Indeed mate. :)
    Kim Ong: Haha! No la…
    tom robinson: Hmm…the official stance of sixthseal.com is that this is fiction. :)
    …but yeah, it kinda went in that direction, the conversation that is.
    Mellissa: Hmm…I’ll tell you in MSN. :)
    andrew: Bedtime stories, the latest feature in FINE on sixthseal.com :)
    dreckker: Yup, it’s usually accurate. Usually. :)
    kenwooi: Officially, it’s a story. ;)
    Arth Akal: Haha! I already did. I do very quick background checks. ;)
    chefmel: Thanks Mel! I always play safe. :)
    tom robinson: You too my friend. Have a great long Labor Day weekend. Hmm…or is the US not doing it on the same day?
    KY: Last night. :S
    chefmel: Will do Mel. :)

  4. Ex bf, then next one is spontaneous one with you? LOL. Right. I fucked a classmate once, she has a boyfriend. Yes, I have sinned. And she told me I am the second person she fucked. Then slowly I discovered she’s fucked many other people of different nationality, all the while when she was attached to her bf/fiancee, idk. LOL.

  5. steben lim: Haha! Well, I shall reserve comment on this. Who’s to say that I’m telling the truth when I said I only had three? ;)
    That’s why my policy has always been DON’T ASK, DON’T TELL. :)
    Or rather, ask no questions and you’ll get no lies.
    Everyone lies about their sexual history, it’s nothing new. I think I’m a women with regards to The Rule of Three though, but I’ll never admit it. Neverrrrrrrr. LOL!
    Okayz, sorry to hear about your experience, but hey, no loss right?
    Happened to me too. As long as it’s two consenting adults, who cares what you do in the privacy of your own bedroom. Cheers bro! :)

  6. “Officially everything in FINE is Fiction. I’m going to move Recreational Drugs and Recreational Pharmaceuticals in here too. ;)”
    Dont think so… hehe…

  7. Well, being completely honest about it don’t work. Don’t ever try. And it isn’t entirely pleasant when your partner shares hers with you too. It burns, in all the bad ways.
    No, it has nothing to do with size or performance.
    Oh, and to make things clear, it wasn’t in my bedroom. I like to keep mine holy and pure.
    LOL.
    Still, I hope the bf gets good karma for still wanting to marry a still operating slut. Heh.
    Ok, I shall stop bitching. Karma.

  8. OMG! Haha! I’m sorry, but the phrase “It burns, in all the bad ways” sounds totally wrong in this context. ;)
    You know what I mean right?
    Anyway, no harm, I’m not one to judge, I’m no angel, everyone knows that. I’m no devil too, I’m just human.
    The bf would definately get good karma. I’ll like to believe that.
    …but what does that say about us (note that I’m not judging, I didn’t say you, I said US)?
    :)
    Food for thought, my friend.
    Do unto other etc.
    Peace bro.

  9. You know I love math. Lets go zero or negative numbers on this one.
    Stated (-3) bad experience… (-3) x 3 = (-9) bad partners(aye currumaba! 3 times the bad experience)
    and Zero never lies…
    0 x 3 = 0 !!
    0/3 = 0!!
    and this 3 / 0 = error? wtf?
    Don’t get me started on square roots ok ;-)

  10. fish fish: Ya! :)
    It would be fun. We definately have to meet up when you’re in Malaysia. :)
    I shall share all my bedtime stories. ;)

  11. I assume rehab was fiction too, and thus Huai Bin became fiction for a year as well. Lol. Man points for getting a girl naked in two days without drowning her in ethanol. Stay fly, bruvah.

  12. chefmel: Thanks! :)
    Yeah, I shall be eating my way through Penang. :)
    erin: Eh, why don’t you feel sad for me? :)
    Aileen: Awesome! :) See ya in Penang!
    Trey: LOL! Cheers bro! :)
    Jesus, you’re up at an ungodly hour.

  13. mknace: More coming up…from the past this time. :)
    steben lim: Heh! Cheers bro! :)
    Yup, having fun already. Gonna hit the nightscene later.

  14. Hey…Bedtime stories suppose to start with ‘once upon a time’ kayzz? Bad bedtime story. hmpf.
    Yeah, I’m a little late on comments…Just got back from Langkawi and a crazy workload.

  15. Jenny: Okay, the NEXT one would start with “Once upon a time” k? Just for you. :)
    Same here, I just came back from Penang, wasn’t feeling too good on Sunday and came down with a fever yesterday.
    Catching up on my workload too – tapau during lunch hour somemore.

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