Heads up peeps! There’s a huge event coming up and it’s gonna be the party of the year. Hell, it’s a veritable celebration many centuries (2.5 or so, but that could just be a figure I pulled out from where the sun don’t shine) in the making.
Kuala Lumpur will be Ground Zero for this global celebration kicking off near simultaneously all over the world from Dublin to New York before hitting our shores.
I’m all set to party like it’s going out of style! In fact, I’ve already done a full dress rehearsal:
Sit on the porcelain throne before you head out. You don’t want to be rushing to the nearest WC when you’re out and about.
Wiping is important. Do not underestimate the importance of TP after voiding your bowels.
You can never be too rich or too thin…and no one would accuse you of having too minty fresh breath. Brush your teeth!
A clean shave does wonders. You don’t want stubble getting in the way of some lip lovin’.
Pay attention to your underarms. Lather them well with soap.
Wipe yourself clean with a nice fluffy towel.
Get your wardrobe ready.
Iron your clothes. Creased attire is NOT sexy.
Get dressed to the nines. It’s going to be a great night!
Put on your socks…
…and don’t forget them boogie shoes.
You’re now ready to paint the town
There will be internationally acclaimed artists you can groove to during your revelry and merrymaking.
It’ll be a golden celebration in the blackest dark of the night.
Are you going?