starcraft ii sea edition

I was waiting in anticipation while the installation screen brought me through the grand memories I had playing Starcraft and Starcraft: Brood Wars. Jim Raynor! Sarah Kerrigan! Mengsk!

I quickly dropped the sad excuse of a manual in the SEA version and rubbed my hands in glee as the game finally installed and the grand sound effect loudly proclaiming that YES, THE GAME IS INDEED READY – with the Play button blinking seductively, begging to be clicked.

I moved my mouse cursor and did just that. It proceeded to start downloading a host of patches that took about 45 minutes. No worries. It’s a small price to pay to get my grimy paws into the meat of the game.

The starting cutscene which was released as a teaser last year came on and I watched it – fascinated with the detail and armed with a refreshed memory of the storyline in the previous iteration and it’s expansion pack.

I couldn’t wait to play the game and see what happens next! I was so excited I could jizz in my pants!

I eagerly entered my login and was confronted with:

starcraft ii error message

I tried and tried and tried again and still couldn’t get it.

I had the urge to shout at someone. Loudly. With lots of profanity. I called Blizzard’s support number and told an incompetent dumb fuck my problem with the game. Do you know how hard it is to recite a CD key through the phone?

It makes me want to commit seppuku!!!

After the person on the other end got it wrong fro the 5th time I went from F for France to F for fuck. *rage

He gave me a whole lot of runarounds before admitting that a number of users have this problem and they’re working on it.

I tried changing my password and trying again after 30 minutes.

I tried using the Guest Pass to register under a new account.

It still didn’t work.

I was told it would take days for them to fix. DAYS!!!!!!!

I can’t play the damn game coz it’s my first time running it so I can’t even go offline mode since I haven’t even created my character name for Starcraft II.

It. Will. Take. Days. To. Fix. It.

I can feel my fever returning already. Or maybe it’s a heart attack. Or a stroke. Perhaps even a brain herniation. Odds are, it’s all three in one. >.<

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120 thoughts on “Starcraft II SUCKS BALLS”

  1. shit that’s so funny mate. Hope you learnt your lesson. Save your money and go to a whorehouse instead. Give you more instant pleasure.

  2. now you know that is wrong…I dont even game, but despite the fact that there are umpteen old guys , some 15 years older than me, despite the fact i fell of a porch and broke a wrist and three ribs… And it hurt… despite the fact that clips do not hold 120 rounds, despite the fact that one of the actors is the standing gov of ca. and you got all these old guys in it like stalone… guess whose gonna rent it. I said rent, not buy. and sure as hell aint gonna blow 40 usd on two tickets and popcorn… but I like the background music… take me down to paradise city… I will watch it… but when I can…

  3. and thats just a movie. staying alive might be good, while playing. its like fishing shows. edited. 30 min of catching fish. no body wants to see the whole week… then you get to read… boredom.. and that is death to a crew… idle… If you have nothing to do, I will find you something to do… even to a navigator… there a long periods of … well.. boredom. and is not a bad idea. nav aids go out. so do lights. in a factory. you have 180 seconds to clear the building of every one and take a head count. and yes, that means restrooms. and it just cost 240 min of production. but how much less then if the place burns up and someone gets left behind. we did it once every three months or so. thats alot of people… about 300.. in less than three min… aside from the insurance reductions… if you or your company are not doing this… in a real event.. people WILL die.. and they get very litigious, real quick… no blame. they are pissed… you mean that exit light has been out for 3 months and wasnt replaced… welcome the new owners… thats why its called llc. and you do noy want a bad rep from the get go…

  4. say… how is that batterie in your smoke detector.. if its like mine, I pulled the damn thing off the wall the last time a burned somthing… ok… but thats good… thats what its there for. but its like life belts, mres or corn flakes. you gotta change them out, once and a while. cause when you need it worst… you say holey mother… I thought someone else was taking care of this… no. that is your job, Dad. its like 1986 bon jovi. or smashing pumpikns. If you like that… time to change the stuff in your first aid eqipment box. I like lawrence welk, ( yes) and little feet. but I would not use fishing line or motor oil from that year. are you crazy… guess Im speaking to my self as much as any one… but I would not put on a kapolk lifepreserver…

  5. Dude,
    I heard bout this problem. Hope it gets back up soon.
    But i gotta tell you, its well worth the wait. Well worth the $80 I paid it for. Rocking the multiplayer now.
    I officially converted to a RTS player after starcraft II. Enjoying starcraft2 commentaries like hell on youtube. StarcraftII has more subscribers than espn lol.

  6. Omg, I can’t get my copy of Starcraft II to work either!!!1 I got it installed but then the automatic patch updater shuts down after one second. Blizzard and other companies are sacrificing the quality of gaming because they’re so paranoid about software piracy. is kind of a joke now.
    /end rant
    P.S. Anyway, if anyone has any info about a possible fix for this technical issue, I welcome any messages to my email at
    If you can hook me up with information leading to a definite fix tomorrow, I’ll buy you a gift via Ebay as a reward (maximum $25).

  7. I remembered I have to wait for an hour on the support call when I call Blizzard to reset my World of Warcraft password. Luckily I use iTalk, if not my phone bill will goes into the hundreds.

  8. victer: I managed to get in 4 hours after that. Blizzard support called me and said the issue has been resolved. Nice work Blizzard! πŸ™‚
    rocket: Haha! I’ve wanted to play Starcraft II for ages. πŸ™‚
    LeiF: It’ll take ages coz I’m going to take my time with the game. πŸ™‚
    rocket: It’ll take a while though. I’m going to finish all bonus missions and objectives and all that. πŸ™‚
    fresh: I’m not the only one. πŸ™
    The issue has been going on for several days for new players now, they fixed it dy. πŸ™‚
    tom: Hey no worries my friend, as long as you have an outlet. πŸ™‚
    ewen: You need to be online and play online for all your achievements to be recorded. Even in Single Player. Starcraft II has integrated. πŸ™‚
    Pete: I’m a huge fan of FPS and RTS. I played Starcraft when it came out (but not Warcraft, never got into that) and loved the storyline. It’s the story that’s what makes the Starcraft franchise strong. πŸ™‚
    Oh, I didn’t know that! I shall go check out the commentaries. Thanks bro!
    Firebat: Sorry to hear that! I hope your issue gets resolved soon. πŸ™‚
    Simon Seow: WoW (pun intended). That is a long time. I didn’t have to wait at all for the Starcraft II support line. It’s a toll free number. πŸ™‚

  9. Just to give you a few entertaining commentators to check out. You can hunt the rest yourselves. (There are ALOT out there, i get hours of commentary footage collectively).
    For entertainment:
    both of them are very very very entertaining. I cant believe how much time i have spent watching replays commentated by these two. They even organized a $3450 prize pool during the beta (yea, thats right, even before the game was even out).
    -day9 offers very analytical commentaries on his replays having a 1 hour video almost every day of the week. Go watch it when you feel like seeing how the real pros really play starcraft and what goes in their minds. Its like chess on steroids.
    MAN!!!~~ Sorry for the long comment, but I just cant stop battering when I get hyped up!!
    Any way I can add you on bnet?

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