Zerg Soccer

Well, since the World Cup is going on now and all, me and Jimmy played a
couple of rounds of Zerg Soccer as a break from studying. It’s a custom
map for Starcraft made by Blizzard.

Most people assume that the Zerg
are a malicious species with no sense of humor or fun. While they are
quite malicious, some Cerebrates have demonstrated both humor and a desire
for pure recreation. The recent popularity of soccer among the Swarm is a
prime example. Besides sporting a name even a Hydralisk can pronounce, it
gives opposing Broods an opportunity to safely compete, and has recently
surpassed “Pin your tail through the Terran” as the Zerg sport of

Description and pictures taken from
SCC: Map

Basically, you have two Guardians
and two Mutalisks and a Queen. You attack Da Ball, which is a
heavily armored and Zealot with high hit points. There are Hooligans
on all the sides. The Hooligans are Hydralisks on the long side and
Zerglings on the back. If Da Ball hits the side, the Hydras use their
spines to move it back from the wall. If Da Ball hits the wall beside the
goal posts, you get a free kick. Each match consists of two 10 minute
halves. Now on to the battle report.

Game 1

killuminati [Me] leading
Jormungand United

Silencer [Jimmy] leading the Baelrog Footballers

The game started with my Guardian spitting
out a spore at the Zealot (Da Ball), propelling it slightly
forward. Both of us haven’t played this scenario before, so we were just
experimenting around. After seeing that I have 2 Mutas at the sides, I
quickly hotkeyed them and moved them up to help move the ball. I left the
other Guardian and the Queen in front of the goal post. With the help of
the Mutas, the Guardian managed to edge the ball closer and closer to the
goal posts. Silencer tried unsuccessfully to block the ball and into the
beacon, er…the goal it went. w00t! The half time whistle blew and into
the second half we went.

Half-time score: 1-0 to
Jormungand United

At the sound of the second half whistle, I
immediately pushed the ball into the other side with my Guardian and
hotkeyed the two Mutas and moved them to the front to help. I also
commanded the Queen into the fray for some Ensnare goodness. When the
Queen neared the ball, I moved my Mutas and Guardian away and ensnared
Silencer’s two Mutas that were trying to get the ball over to my side.
Unfortunately my micro skillz were lacking today and I Ensnared the ball
as well. I did manage to get it to the side, before the Hydralisk
Hooligans spined the ball back into play. The Ensnare was starting to fade
so I Ensnared Silencer’s Guardian again and pushed the ball further into
his goal area. Unfortunately the Ensnared Guardian managed to push it into
the side before I got the ball into the goal, resulting in a penalty kick.
I used my two Mutas to kick the ball into the goal, but was intercepted by
Silencer’s Mutas. The final whistle ended the game with a score of 1-0.

Full time score: 1-0 to
Jormungand United

Game 2

killuminati [Me] leading
Jormungand United

Silencer [Jimmy] leading the
Baelrog Footballers

The game started off badly, with Silencer
getting off a shot before I did, moving the ball closer to my side. My
Mutas tried unsuccessfully to stave off this brazen attack and I quickly
called my goal keeper Guardian up to help. Bad move. Silencer’s speedy
Mutas (Mutalisks move faster than Guardians) took this chance to push the
ball into my goal post! Arrrggghhhhh! The
Jormungand United
leader, killuminati took this chance to let
off a Hokkien expletive which sounds like cheese and bye mashed together.
The Baelrog
coach replied with a
celebratory “whoot!” and proceeded with another goal attempt with his
Guardian. I decided to use my Mutas to “foul” the forward Guardian in a
show of un-sportsmanship. Unfortunately, the players don’t damage each
other so that was for naught. After a close call in which I just managed
to push the ball to the side using copious Ensnares and furious Muta
microing the half time came.

Half-time score: 0-1 to the
Baelrog Footballers

I started off the second half determined to
even the score. However, Silencer got hold of the ball again despite me
flying my Mutas back and forth to hold off the push. My poor Mutas got
Ensnared by Silencer and their flying speed was greatly reduced, resulting
in the ball nearly reaching my goal before a timely block by goal keeper
Guardian (Jersey Number: 2) managed to push it to the side, resulting in a
penalty kick for Silencer. My Mutas got Ensnared yet again and it was all
I could to to push the ball off to the side before it went in this time.
However, Silencer was not to be denied and the third try using a Guardian
and 2 Mutas rewarded him with ANOTHER goal, dashing the hopes of
killuminati to even up the score. With only 2:47 minutes left with the
second half, I renewed my vigor and pushed forward with all my players,
leaving the goal post unattended. I was just one step from Silencer’s open
goal post when suddenly one of his Mutas materialized close by and pushed
the ball off to the side. With that, the game ended with:

Full time score: 0-2 to the
Baelrog Footballers

‘Tis a sad day for Zerg Football fans.

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