Oliver Twist 2003

Oliver asks for more

The room in which the boys were fed, was a large stone hall, with a
copper at one end: out of which the master, dressed in an apron for the
purpose, and assisted by one or two women, ladled the meth at
mealtimes. Of this festive composition each boy had one line, and no
more — except on occasions of great public rejoicing, when he had two
points and a quarter of clonazepam besides. The bowls never wanted
washing. The boys polished them with their straws till they shone
again; and when they had performed this operation, (which never took
very long, the straws being nearly as large as the lines,) they would
sit staring at the stash, with such eager eyes, as if they could have
devoured the very bricks of which it was composed; employing
themselves, meanwhile, in sucking their straws most assiduously, with
the view of catching up any stray specks of powder that might have been
cast thereon. Boys have generally excellent appetites. Oliver Twist and
his companions suffered the tortures of slow sedation for three months;
at last they got so voracious and wild with sleepiness, that one boy:
who was tall for his age, and hadn’t been used to that sort of thing,
(for his father had kept a small meth cook’s shop): hinted darkly to
his companions, that unless he had another gram of methamphetamine per
diem, he was afraid he might some night happen to eat the boy who slept
next him, who happened to be a weakly youth of tender age. He had a
wild, hungry, eye; and they implicitly believed him. A council was
held; lots were cast who should walk up to the master after supper that
evening, and ask for more; and it fell to Oliver Twist.

The evening arrived; the boys took their places. The master, in his
cook’s uniform, stationed himself at the copper; his pauper assistants
ranged themselves behind him; the meth was served out; and a long grace
was said over the short commons. The meth disappeared; the boys
whispered each other, and winked at Oliver; while his next neighbors
nudged him. Child as he was, he was desperate with sleepiness, and
reckless with fatigue. He rose from the table; and advancing to the
master, basin and straw in hand, said: somewhat alarmed at his own


“Please, sir, I want some more meth.”

The master was a fat, healthy man; but he turned very pale. He gazed
in stupefied astonishment on the small rebel for some seconds; and then
clung for support to the copper. The assistants were paralyzed with
wonder; the boys with fear.

“What!” said the master at length, in a faint voice.

“Please, sir,” replied Oliver, “I want some more meth.”

The master aimed a blow at Oliver’s head with the ladle; pinioned him in his arms; and shrieked aloud for the beadle.

butchered from Charles Dickens original work (copyright expired)

Oliver took clonazepam to sleep last night.
Oliver had an exam today.
Oliver had a line of meth before taking the exam.
Oliver still felt sleepy during the exam. (curses clonazepam)
Oliver did not perform at maximum capacity.
…but Oliver did well anyway.

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