Chemical love

mdma lake

Just holding hands…
It feels good.
The warm presence of you as I squeeze your hand
The way you turn sideways and smile at me
I love your smile
It makes everything seem so perfect

“It’s the MDMA”
I repeated the phrase like a mantra
I’ve been there before…
Never like this though…

The comforting softness as I hug you to take a photo
The serene silence as we sit beside the lake
It’s just like the two of us, even though others were there.

I knew it was the MDMA
The problem is, I already liked you before dropping the pill
Just sitting beside you, feeling you close to me…
A shared smile…the simple things…

I said I’ll call you again today
I will

Love is just chemicals isn’t it?

The path diverges into two
The first is the well trodden one, the one I know, the comfortable one
The second is the one with you

I’m afraid I’m too old to be as impulsive as I once were

It’s so complicated when you already like someone before the emphathogenic qualities of MDMA comes into the equation.

It’s not black and white anymore
I can’t say “It’s just chemical love” when I know I felt that way before
I need a Pantone chart to sort out all these shades of gray

I feel like I’ve lost something…
…as I walk down the first path

The sadness is almost overwhelming

I’ll always think back to this time…
…and dream about what it would be like
What it would be like, if I walked down the second path
The path that leads into your arms…

for cy

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction.

It’s all white lines to me…
Oh, but things are getting clearer
I can almost read the writing in the mirror…

Related: Pill report – Pink JK []

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9 thoughts on “Chemical love

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