I’ve had a best fiend since high school. I did not make a typo, fiend as defined by Merriam-Webster dictionary is:
Devil, demon, a person of great wickedness or maliciousness
I have in fact dedicated two entries in the annals of sixthseal.com about my best fiend. The one post I remember back in 2004 was about schadenfreude – the German word for gaining pleasure out of other people’s misfortune, which he personifies.
Anyway, my fiend has been talking behind my back and generally spreading rumors about me. I was amused for a second this morning when someone related to me a really funny rumor that was so untrue (since the time line does not compute) but the bulk of what he said really annoyed me.
I called him this morning but he didn’t pick up so I texted him:
You have nothing better to do than to backstab me, spread lies about me and create false stories about me izzit? Is your self esteem so low or are you so jealous of me that you feel the urge to talk shit about other people? I’m not pissed off at you. I pity you.
It’s a bit harsh, granted, but friends, I mean, fiends, should be able to give honest opinions about each other right? ;)
…and I really do feel a little bit of pity for him. He doesn’t just do it to me, he does it to all his friends. He would talk about other friends behind their back, putting them down derogatorily, usually with other people who doesn’t know the person around. He never does it in front of the person, he pretends to be nice to everyone but he’s well known amongst our group of friends as being a backstabber.
I used to accumulate an excess of temperature beneath a circular, tight fitting clothing component (Get hot under the collar in unpretentious terms ;)) by his behavior but I’ve come to terms with it and not be bothered by it, since most people who have known him long enough knows what he’s like.
My friend (this is a real friend, not fiend, and different from the person mentioned in this entry) told me never to text or write or react when I’m angry, which is good advice. However, I look at things in the Drawing of the Three.
The Drawing of the Three by sixthseal.com
1. Is the relationship worth it?
2. Can the person help you in the future?
3. Will the person help you in the future?
If it’s no on all three counts, then by all means, flame away. ;)
The most important aspect of it is #1 and #3. #3 is more important in a business oriented sense. Just because someone can help you in the future doesn’t mean that he will. My fiend is definitely not someone who is willing to help any friends, since all he cares about is putting them down.
It’s like he’s trying so hard to be the good little boy that he doesn’t even realize the social skills and PR required in the real world. Well, it’s not my problem anyway, and it’s not my job to tell him, since I’ve tried that before and he never changes.
It’s like sending dense shelly concretions through the air to fall in front of stout-bodied, artiodactyl creatures. ;)
Pat yourself on the back if you can decipher that last bit. Heh!
Do you have a fiend in your life?