East meets West

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I’ll be honest here – I’ve never put much faith in “alternative medicine” like traditional Chinese healing methods, preferring to cement my conviction in Western methods of rigorous medical training and the process of FDA pharmaceutical clinical trials.

hand

It probably doesn’t help that I’m a pharmaceutical aficionado and my sister is a cardiologist. My motto used to be “Better living through chemistry…for every problem, a chemical solution!”

holding

Thus, I was (more than) a little skeptical when I took this health check based on some form of non-invasive acupuncture. It was at a PRUhealth event and the health check session started with some rather personal questions.

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Straight off the bat, I was grilled about my bowel movements, the olfactory offensiveness of the fecal matter and whether said poop sticks to the bowl or slides right down as slick as…er, shit.

dialysis

I answered honestly, and gave them an almost-complete medical history, including my damaged kidneys courtesy of a methamphetamine overdose. I used to IV unfiltered (“cold shake method”) crystal meth with disastrous results to my renal function and was in ICU for a week coz of that.

kidney_damage

Needless to say, I also disclosed my previous problems with substances. You should never lie with insurance…coz you won’t be able to claim if they find out. πŸ˜‰

readings hands

Anyway, back to The Probes (TM) it involves taking readings from the left and right hands and feet, which explains this rather undignified photo:

undignified

I found out that I have hypertension (150/85) which is nothing new – I already know I have high blood pressure. Or maybe it was the hot chick touching me. I don’t know for sure. πŸ˜‰ However, I was more than a little surprised to learn that the device also managed to find fault with my liver, kidneys and blood cells.

I present to you, my blood test results:

english results

This is the results from the health check at the PRUhealth event:

chinese results

It’s remarkably similar, which should probably tell me something. I need to maintain a healthier lifestyle, or at the very least, get insured so the hospital bills won’t instantly Chapter 11 me the moment I get admitted (which is a matter of when rather than if). The last time I was in ICU, it cost a staggering RM 3,000+ per day. I was in there for a whole WEEK!

bp

I’ve always had problems getting health insurance since I was still actively using back then and no insurance company wanted to touch me with a 10 foot pole. However, I’ve been clean for three years after going through drug rehabilitation and PRUhealth will be one package I’ll be seriously looking into.

leg

Let me tell you the best part about this plan. Say you’re not as…er, unhealthy as me, and you don’t possess a lot of the vices (smoking, drinking) that I do. PRUhealth offers a revolutionary system that I’ve never heard of before- NO CLAIMS BONUS.

readings legs

Basically, if you don’t claim anything (if you don’t fall sick or get into shenanigans which require hospitalization) PRUhealth pays you back up to a maximum of RM 500 annually. You can even withdraw the bonus if you want to. It’s the only health insurance that offers something as ground-breaking as this – a plan that rewards you for being healthy!

writing

Thus, if you’re not living life to the max (and destroying your body in the process) like I am, you’ll be well pleased to know that you’ll be rewarded for it. I on the other hand, find solace in the fact that I won’t be penalized for it either. It’s a win-win situation!

results

More about PRUhealth next week!

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Speaking of winning, I still think I should have snagged the Unhealthiest Blogger Award…I’m a bit miffed that I didn’t. How liddat? My street (blog?) cred gone dy. :p

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30 thoughts on “East meets West”

  1. Nipizan: Well, you have to be with insurance types. If you do not disclose and they find out, you’ll not get paid. I think most of my health problems in the future would be kidney/liver related and it won’t take much digging to find out why I have damaged it, especially since I blogged about it (as well as my past drug use). πŸ™‚
    I’m not ashamed of my past. Like I said, it’s the past. πŸ™‚

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  2. It’s refreshing to see someone being truthful about their past. It takes a lot of courage to admit your mistakes. πŸ˜‰ I’m curious if PRU would be interested in anyone that might otherwise be classified as ‘high-risk’? I was having a hard time finding any health insurance for myself. Heck, I had always imagine I would die of either a kidney or liver failure. Wouldn’t want to burden my next of kin. πŸ˜‰

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  3. HB, it depend how you see yourself. You were given something special from God and that was life. How you use your life and what you do with it should not be wasted.
    Many people wasted their lifes lazy, greed, selfishness,and hatefulness ungratefulness.

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  4. its quite astonishing that the device could detect so many organ failures by just touching your toe/finger.. that’s really cool. didn’t know that chinese clinic offers such high tech services, i thought they only use needles or cups (ok, out of tajuk).
    anyway, do take good care of yourself, although i’m not sure how, but just take care ^__^

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  5. Geee, Hb. whenenver I am away for a few days, I love to read you blog when I come home ( western NC, USA). But I got to relate some good news. ( lord knows, we hear enough bad) when I saw that post of the portal. Connie had hers took out yesterday. ( she has had it since Feb, dumping in chemo. One more radiation treatment to go. Then some reconstruction. ( I said well they never were that big to begin with, and legs are more important to me, any way.. That earned me a first slap and a threat( I’ll make em look like Dolly Parton, if you dont shut up) Her hair is growing back in. ( think GI Jane, or Sigouney Weaver in Alien) that earned me a second slap) Ow what the hell– shouldnt be thinking of her, but me… Jezz, ladies are hard to judge. Now what the F. am I gonna do when the 500 tulip bulbs from Holland arive in october? ( Hell, I thought she was dying when I ordered them- she wanted tulips, so I got them. Now I got to plant the damn things) Tom

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  6. Gotta tell you, HB, with toes like that, how come you aint playing the organ in St peters or St pauls. ( to those that are unfamiliar, with a large pipe organ, you play with your feet, cant even see what is going on, and both hands on the upper registers( keybords) I can’t do it. Kind of like rubbing your stomach an patting your own head at the same time. ( try doing it). Then at the same time, play the scales with your feet. while reading sheet music. Glad you are well HB. Tom

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  7. in western history, we forget the ancient eastern remidies, to our own peril. In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue… We forget there was and ancinet and wise culture, in the Far east. Or that if you travel to the east enough, you come back west. Wait, wtf… I like accupuncture. Tom

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  8. chefmel: This is an old one la. :p
    The adidas Predator I got in 2006. πŸ™‚
    Hollistic: Hmm…it’s still a bit messed up but not something I’m too concerned about. πŸ™‚
    Cheers: Yes, they are, but maybe not for CURRENT users. Ex users they will take on, pending an underwriter. I asked coz I want insurance coverage and no one would take me due to my history of substance use. πŸ™‚
    pm: Hmm…I have no idea. πŸ™‚
    Michael (Mike): Indeed! Everyone is given a second chance. No matter how badly you fucked up your life, if you change for the better, I believe you will make it. I did…and I was like the poster boy for messed of on drugs before I went to rehab. πŸ™‚
    Soldier on, would be the advice I’ll give ex-drug users. Some people don’t discriminate. πŸ™‚
    cindy khor: Yeah me too, it’s the first thing I’ve seen anything like this too! πŸ™‚
    Thanks for the concern! I will be more careful and take care of my health…been cutting back a bit on a lot of vices lately too. πŸ™‚
    tom r: I’m glad to hear about Connie! πŸ™‚
    That’s good news indeed. Hmm…I have slightly differing views about alternative medicine but to each his/her own I say! Cheers my friend. πŸ™‚
    eiling: Haha! Interesting how you notice details like this. πŸ™‚
    Jan: I was supposed to take beta blockers for high blood pressure but I don’t want to at such an age. Interestingly, I gave a convincing enough argument last time for benzodiazepines instead to several doctors for combo insomnia/hypertension. They bought it. Heh! πŸ™‚

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  9. My previous health insurance company refused to compensate me when I was hospitalised on the base that they won’t cover any mental illnesses. It wasn’t at all justified considering that I was hospitalised for 5 days due to an intense headache and according to my neurologist wasn’t stress related. It’s pathetic they accused us of not telling the truth, I fell ill after we bought the policy in the 3rd year. They must be assuming I can see into the future. πŸ™‚
    I’m not a ‘user’;) It’s just that my psychiatrist has a penchant for drugs. She insists and believes that medications always help[I was put on all those stuffs at 13 years old]. Don’t wanna go to school? No problem. Exam anxiety? Here, have some Xanax. LOL. She won’t let me refuse them anyway. I believe Ritalin is up next on her list of ‘to-try’.
    Anyway, take care of your health…you’re doing great now so I’m sure you want to live long to enjoy it. πŸ˜‰

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  10. Please excuse me while I crash. I’m totally exhausted today from the shoot. I’ll reply all comments tomorrow.
    So…tired…
    zzzzzzzzz.

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  11. Shirley Snow: You know, I’ve been thinking about that the entire week! That’s true, you must be able to love yourself before you love others. πŸ™‚
    Simon Seow: Yup, it’s a health insurance plan. πŸ™‚
    Cheers: I’m sorry to hear that. However, if you were not currently on any medication (and took the urine and blood tests to prove it) they should not penalize you for anything after. It’s just like the suicide clause – some insurance companies will still pay on certain plans, with the caveat that the suicide must happen 12 – 18 months after taking on the policy.
    On another note, can you refer me to your kind doctor? πŸ˜‰
    pm: Hmm…it could have but the mask is for hygeine purposes, me thinks. πŸ™‚
    e: Bro, I already blacked out the date for our meetup! I’m going to be hanging with you all on Sunday. My number is 016 888 2069. πŸ™‚

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  12. HB, my hospitalisation happened in 2004. Back then, we weren’t well informed on the procedures to make a claim. Anyhow, you can have my psychiatrist’s service at the General Hospital. Just contact the head of the mental health department. The single most powerful signature you can get. πŸ˜‰ Plus the position enables the doctor to have complete access to the inventory.

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  13. Cheers: SGH? Heh! That is where I got my ludricous prescription too. I was on 12 mg (!!!) of Rivotril (clonazepam), 40 mg of Valium and 8 mg of Xanax PER DAY. =D
    Dr. Feelgood, I call him. πŸ˜‰
    It lasts too coz it’s a legit prescription from the psyciatric department of a government hospital so whenever a doctor asks, just show him the prescription.
    All hail the Malaysian medical system! Huzzah!

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  14. I guess the better part of the whole thing is the free medications;) I would hate to further burden my parents with unnecessary expenditure. At a given time my medication would have cost RM1200++ monthly. At times it would be much closer to RM2000. I personally think that is too much to pay for a medication.

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