25 minutes too late

late for wedding

This ballad by MLTR illustrates the unfortunate series of events of a chronic procrastinator and indecisive specimen of the male species which rendered him unable to pull a Kanye West during the crucial point where the priest goes “Speak now or forever hold your peace.”

Hence the title – 25 minutes too late. I don’t know if anyone out there has experienced something as profoundly life changing and dramatic as the protagonist of the song, but we all know the difference a few minutes makes, albeit in less spectacular situations.

I was in that very same situation last week. No, I didn’t find out that the love of my life was getting hitched to another guy, it was something else. A friend of mine emailed me and attached this photo with the text:

oxycodone

Hey, you’re still having those migraines right? These are slated to be destroyed, wondered if you wanted it.

Alas, I was out at that time and I only checked Gmail three hours later, saw the photo, and immediately replied with such a resounding YES that the Y key of my keyboard promptly cracked.

The reply:
Oops…sorry, I destroyed it already. I thought you didn’t want it.

The primal scream of loss I uttered was heard halfway across the earth. People in the deepest, most remote depths of the Sahara looked up at the skies in terror, mumbling superstitiously and gesturing wildly to ward off evil (or whatever it is the tribes do, I’m just giving an analogy here).

sahara tribes running

You know the punch line right?

This would never have happened if I had preregistered for an Xpax Prepaid BB. ;)

The push email functionality would have allowed me to respond to that message in a timely manner. Sigh…

This is a true story btw, as can be seen by the Ludicrous Watermark (TM) in the second photo. =D

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16 thoughts on “25 minutes too late”

  1. seth.frostheart: Haha! Yeah, I would be remiss if I didn’t at least sneak in a reference somewhere, somehow to show my allegience to Chem Bros Inc. ;)
    Thanks for the kind comments. :)
    This batch really is lost, but no worries, there’s Oxycontin 80 mg (Hail to the King, baby) waiting for pickup. ;)

  2. HB, not sure you got migraine. People in states use Excedrin for migraine and it really work well. Migraine are sometime cause by drinking too coffee and poor diets and or course stress. In women cases due to hormome balance every month.

  3. OMFG!!!You had the chance and you blew it! I still find it annoying that my new doc was terrified of prescribing certain meds(unlike the previous doc).I feel the need to strangle someone on the spot but refrained from doing so. ;) The first of the many doctors I’ve seen to consider me at risk of abusing my pills.
    PS. Methadone replacement therapy room is next to the doc’s room. What’s the big deal, then? The irony of the whole situation.

  4. Vickie: Heh! Nah, I don’t have migranes, it’s just something we say. No doctor in their right mind would prescribe oxycodone (a very strong opioid) for migraines. :)
    Over here in Malaysia, it’s used for conditions like…er, pallilative care e.g. end stage cancer patients and pre/post operative pain. :)
    Cheers: Yeah, I know! :(
    There’s still more though, stronger ones to boot. Oxycontin 80 mg, not that I’m taking it though, I don’t take it anymore.
    Hmm…some of my doctors seem to think the same about me too. ;)
    They seem to have an uncanny ability to see the motives of their patients – I suspect coz they’re using it themselves.
    Oxycodone is not that hard to get in Australia though, got it once (not refillable) in addition to dexamphetamine and flunitrazepam (all Schedule 8 items). You just need to find the right doctor, I have a recommendation if you’re in Melbourne. ;)

  5. You got a reader in afghanistan if you ever need anything for your migraine or anything else let me know. all the factories are here my friend.

  6. oh the dangers of gardening ….
    The milky latex sap of poppies contains isoquinoline , so you must never grow seeds from certain members of the poppy family (Papaveraceae), such as the opium poppy (Papaver somniferum)…..wait for the beautiful flowers to appear ..wait for the seed pod to mature.
    You must never ever scratch them and lick the sap as it contains raw opium
    Morphine refers to Morpheus the god of sleep and somniferum means “to sleep” in Latin.
    Worse still we have to beware of accidentally swallowing the seeds of the Morning Glory – the dastardly Ergoline containing plants all around us .
    The seeds of the Ipomoea tricolor contain entheogens , thus the ability to create God within us…

  7. capone69a@hotmail.com: Thanks for the offer buddy! Pakistan too, due to its border with your place. :)
    There is however one small logistical problem though – transportation. ;)
    …but cheers, will look you up when I’m in the area (Pakistan/Afganistan) which I’m planning to since I love out of the way places.
    kevinlimcool: Haha! Indeed, the perils of having a green thumb. ;)
    They do sell the seeds in Victoria Market, Melbourne last time I checked, as well as certain wonderful botanical products like san pedro cactus as well as the more infamous peyote.
    I’ve tried morning glory seeds once, all it made me do was puke. I’ll give it another chance though, read a lot of positive reports about it. ;)

  8. KY: Indeed…but more where that came from though. ;)
    foodcrazee: Haha! It’s damn hard to get okay, the oxycodone I mean, not the BB. It’s not like you can walk in a hospital and ask for it, unless you have serious end stage cancer or you just broke all the bones in your arm or something. Even then they’ll probably give you something weaker. :(

  9. Not going to Melbourne anytime soon, perhaps early next year if everything goes as planned. I’ve had countless arguments with my doc, apparently somebody is in love with Risperidone. Anyway sleeping 14-16 hours daily is way too much for me. He thinks it’s alright though. :X

  10. Cheers: Why would anyone be in love with Risperdal? The only thing it did for me was:
    1. Sleep
    2. Eat a whole fucking lot
    No, sleeping 16 hours a day is not alright. Switch to Remeron (still the same eating problems, but you won’t sleep as much) or Prozac (no sleep, hyperactive for bipolar people).
    Fire your doctor! ;)

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