Frumpy, a convenient concatenation of “fucking grumpy” is an apt term to describe my state of mind right now. I just got off the phone and realized that my flight is not 7:05 am but 5:20 pm. I already took half day leave – that’s wasted annual leave coz we’re working 1/2 day tomorrow (or rather later today) anyway and I could have caught the flight easy. I need to conserve all my leaves this year to go on vacation. >.<

yee sang

Anyway, enough grumbling, it’s CNY! I had another yee sang dinner just now – this one comes with a super long pair of chopsticks depicted below.


All the better to lou you with, salad!

lou sang

My eyelids are at half mast now due to sleep deprivation so if you have a burning urge for more reading material here’s two of my favorite CNY posts:

Firecrackers in Malaysia – photos, videos and descriptions

CNY firecrackers and fireworks roundup – a Chap Goh Meh special

Annah Rais Bidayuh Longhouse


Last post from the Kuching Season 1 Project Alpha blogger trip! This time we headed to a longhouse in Annah Rais – I’m familiar with this area, there’s a hot spring in Annah Rais which took us ages to find last time we were there. Here I present to you Aud’s tulan face – she doesn’t take very kindly to people waking her up (or the sun either). >.<


What do you do when you go to a longhouse? Why, my dear friends, you indulge in the hospitality of the local folks by drinking some tuak (rice wine). It’s also for sale for RM 10 per bottle. I drank most of the gratis tuak and bought a bottle so that everyone can have a taste and even lugged it to the bus (but finished it before I got to Kuching).


Old skool kettle for…boiling coffee or something.


We Maoris, we once were warriors – headhunting and shit like that.

peeling prawns

I met this lady who has a husband working for PDRM. I instantly sat down and helped her peel shrimps while talking with her, much to Aud’s amusement. She knows Inspector K, MK, Sargeant AD from Narcotics too! Good thing she didn’t ask me how I knew them. ;)

betel nut 
…and what longhouse visit would be complete without an old woman chewing betel nut?

Commercialized blogs (and a bedtime story)

I just finished writing an advertorial and saw a comment from an old reader lamenting the fact that my blog seem to have lost its soul. You know, I agree with him/her. I sat down earlier today, and I had two options, doing a standard post or one I REALLY wanted to write about (File Under: Bedtime Stories).

A lot of bloggers hold back from writing what they really want for fear that clients would desert them (Oh, sex, we can’t have that, coz people might be CONFUSED) and this really limits your creativity.

I believe that we should reclaim our blogs, write what we want and if some clients can’t deal with that, well there’s always other more open-minded clients who want your personality to shine through instead of churn out press releases. Soft sell is the way to go.

Thus, I have decided to write a post under FINE (which is FICTION BTW, none of this is true – the disclaimer is not for commercial but personal reasons ;))
No Strings Attached

you know who

Now how many times have I heard that line? I’ve always maintained a healthy skepticism whenever someone says that. There are usually invisible cords after the deed. No strings attached? There’s no such thing as a free lunch.

The CLOSEST I ever got to NSA (not National Security Agency) was this girl who left after doing the horizontal boogie but still grumbled.

However, I met this girl 2 years ago who is fucking hot and intelligent to boot. Please refer to the photo above – mosaic-ed and blurred to the point that you can’t differentiate it from an edelweiss from the Alps. I’m not going to show any original photos, hell no way Jose.

Anyway, the second time I met her, the conversation steered to relationships. It somehow meandered into the No Strings Attached (TM) question.

“No strings attached”, she said.

Hmm…I was doubtful. If I had a dollar for every time I hear that I’ll be a motherfucking billionaire by now. Well, maybe not la, but you get my point.

I tested and prodded, pushing the boundaries, telling her exactly how it’s going to pan out. We had lunch and adjourned to my place where we both knew what was going to happen (I know you’re reading this, so don’t deny it – you knew ;)).

Anyway, after making out for a while, I went down on her before penetrating her.

“Don’t come inside me”, she whispered as I drove my cock shaft into her warm and wet cunt.

I’ve had a couple of drinks so the quality of my erection was rather substandard. She moved into the 69 position for a while before doing a reverse cowgirl.

That was the image that I remember the most – the experience burned into my retina and my mind’s eye:

Her unique ability to bend her body so far down that all I see is her perfectly toned and shaped ass.

Did I mention that she has a smoking hot body? Lean as fuck – All killer, no filler.

Well, I can’t come that fast when I’m drinking so after a couple of positions (also remembered going doggy style) I went down and fingered and licked her clitoris till she came.

The interesting bit is she doesn’t make a sound when she’s coming. She had a really good reason for that but I’m not going to write it down lest inference and extrapolation identifies the female protagonist.

I still haven’t come yet so I asked if she swallows. She said it’ll be weird to after I’ve fucked her. Fair enough.

Can I come on you then?

This is not a question I usually ask coz it doesn’t really matter to me whether I do or not. I don’t particularly enjoy it, it doesn’t make a difference. However, since the answer was yes, I came all over her perfectly shaped tits.

Anyway, this isn’t an erotic story, it’ll have more smoky details to it if it were – this is meant to illustrate the No Strings Attached (TM) oxymoron.

It was the very first No Strings Attached relationship I’ve been in – she didn’t expect me to call or anything like that…and I have much respect for that. A person, nay a wild horse like me, something that cannot be tamed – kindred souls.
No strings attached, no Fine Print (TM).
You have proved me wrong eh. ;)

Casino War: I won RM 1,200

casino wars

I went to Genting last night as a prelude to CNY gambling. Six of us went up in two cars and I had an initial bankroll of RM 3,000 with an absolute RM 4,500 buy-in (meaning if I lost my bankroll, I’m prepared to withdraw another RM 1,500).


For the first time in my life, I didn’t play Baccarat AT ALL. Desmond introduced me to this game called Casino War which is much faster paced than Baccarat. Basically, the dealer deals cards to everyone and him/herself and the largest face value wins. It’s just as simple as that.

The table limit was RM 500, which is a bit smaller than the RM 2,000 max in Baccarat – this complicates my betting strategy (what betting strategy? ;)) a bit but let me give you the gnarly battle report:

Casino War

I didn’t count but just took out a slab of RM 50 notes. It turned out to be RM 900.

I bet RM 100 and lost. I doubled up to RM 200 and won, bringing me back to my initial RM 900 bankroll. I then bet the table max of RM 500 and lost. Grr…

I took out some more money, dealer counted it and gave me an additional RM 1,100 in chips.

Bankroll: RM 2,100.

I’m now down by RM 500. I started betting the table maximum each time. I lost twice in a row, which brings me down to:

RM 600 (lost RM 1,500)

This time Lady Luck favors me with her smile coz I got a King and a Jack for the next two rounds, which is quite hard to beat.

RM 1,600 (lost RM 500)

The next card dealt was a 10 which I thought would have gotten me back my bankroll but the dealer got a Queen! Thus:

RM 1,100 (lost RM 1,000)

I bet three more hands and as luck would have it, won all three, depite one being a fucking 5 of diamonds (dealer got a 3 – haha).

RM 2,600 (won RM 500)


Thus, I left the table to join the others at Roulette. I placed my bet on Odd every single time with wins and loses until one final round when I thought I’ll just round it up to a net RM 1,000 (the magic four figure win) and put RM 300 down.

It turns out I miscalculated. I won that round but due to the lack of my math skillz, I won RM 1,200 instead of RM 1,000.

This is usually a good thing but it also opens up temptation due to the “excess” RM 200. I decided to stop betting and be happy with my RM 1,200 but the Imp of the Perverse called me again.

I used the RM 200 to bet small on another Roulette and lost it all.

Thus, I’m left with:

RM 3,100 (win RM 1,000)

I wanted to get back the RM 200 so I put RM 200 on Odd. I lost. I doubled up to RM 400 on Odd and lost again. I didn’t want to deviate despite the Roulette wheel constantly churning out Even numbers and put RM 800 on Odd. The ball dropped on an Even number again! Ish!

RM 1,700 (lost RM 500)

I made a last ditch RM 1,600 bet on Odd and watched as the wheel goes round and round. If I lost this round, I’ll have lost RM 2000. The ball tumbled into an Even number, jumped a couple of times and landed on…


Haha! That RM 1,600 bet saved the day, pushing me back to RM 3,300.

I went home with RM 3,300.

Net win: RM 1,200

Lessons learnt and moving forward:

When you feel like you’ve already won enough, just leave. I could have lost a lot of money with my absolute RM 4,500 bankroll if I lost that last RM 1,600 bet coz I would have put down more money.

It’s a good thing I won back my RM 1,200 win after an epic battle at the Roulette table. :)

(Related: Check how you can deposit via your phone bill on the website of Mobile Slots)

Bukit Mata Seafood Centre

bukit mata seafood center

Permata Carpark in Kuching is host to some of the freshest catch from the seas if you’re not in the mood to drive down to Lundu or Serian. It’s smack dab in the middle of the city. My favorite is ABC Seafood (Stall #10) and we went to Bukit Mata Seafood Centre (Stall #25) this very day a week ago during the Project Alpha shoot.

bukit mata

Verily, much has changed in Kuching but the popularity of this al fresco (a very atas word meaning open air) seafood court has not waned.


We had beef, prawns, ferns native to Sarawak, fish, noodles, bamboo clams and crabs.


Me and Aud ate quite a bit of the chilli crab – it’s pretty big by normal crab standards if you don’t compare it to Alaskan King Crab.

crab claw


crab meat

The sauce is tangy and sweet, with a hint of spiciness to it. It goes very well with rice, I just love the eggy and starchy texture of the gravy.


It was so good that I didn’t realize I cut my index finger multiple times while digging for that elusive crab meat. Lacerations galore. >.<

First day of spring!

star yee sang

Today is the first day of spring according to the Lunar calendar. I know, we only have two seasons here – hot and rainy, just trying to be true to our Chinese roots. I only heard about this first day of spring thing from Jasmine – apparently we’re supposed to wear red and everything you do today is a premonition of things to come next year.

star yee sang dinner

Anyway, I just came back from the first of many scheduled lou sang dinners. Yee sang is a Malaysian and Singaporean concoction – basically it’s a toast to good luck (correct me if I’m wrong since I’m not exactly very familiar with Chinese culture).

star lou sang

You use chopsticks to toss a salad (?) consisting of crunchy bits, salmon, vegetables (varies according to outlets) while chanting Prosperous Phrases (TM).

star ang pow

…and I got my first ang pow of the year too! w00t!

Orang Utans @ Semenggoh Wildlife Centre

Semenggoh Wildlife Centre

We were at Semenggoh Wildlife Center to look at Orang Utans (which always reminds me of the way Caucasians pronounce it – orang as in “Oh, the phone just RANG) during the Project Alpha shoot in Kuching. This place is about 40 minutes from Kuching city proper.

orang utans

This looks like Mr. Hussein when he was captured, except his beard hasn’t turned white from fear of Death From Above (TM).

orang utan trees

One thing that I learned from the trip was that orang utans sleep in trees at night. These are tall trees on which they built nests using twigs to avoid pythons and other predators. I wonder how it can support the weight of an orang utan with those slender branches at the very top. That’s a view of their nest – they actually build one every single night to sleep in!

orang utan nest

Perspective: This is how high they build their nests.


We had to walk down a muddy path to the feeding platform. These orang utans are semi-wild, fruits are placed there and the orang utans knows it. However, they will only eat the fruits if they can’t forage food – apparently they also eat stuff like lizards.

feeding platform 

Unfortunately we didn’t manage to see any orang utans…

orang utan

Except this one.

human orang utans

…and a bunch of escaped primates. ;)

Let sleeping cats lie


I’ve been so sleep deprived during the long weekend that I can’t even think straight. I want to write about the Kuching Project Alpha shoot but I’m so sleepy I don’t think even propping up my eyelids with metal toothpicks would do the trick.

Thus, I shall just put up this photo of a sleeping feline I saw in the longhouse visit and get some sleep. Not. Able. To. Type. Coherant. Sentences. 

Jojo Struys 1

Oh ya, speaking of Project Alpha, first time I met Jojo, she was with Stephanie Chai (a fellow Sarawakian!). She just started a wedding portal called The Wedding Guide.

I reckon this would come in handy for me soon considering I’m turning 29 in about two months. ;)

Now…the only problem is finding the bride. Heh!

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