iPhone plans explained in terms you can relate to

maxis iphone 3gs

ON ARM CANDY VS A REAL GIRLFRIEND

I’m sure you know the difference so I won’t insult your intelligence. Oh wait, I will. Haha! Arm candy is someone you bring out but it doesn’t make much financial sense to be with while a real girlfriend is someone practical whom you are planning to start a family with. How often do you go out? Do you really need all that data when it’s nigh impossible to surf that much (1GB and above per month? WTF you doing? Downloading porn?). Your steady gal here is Maxis who gives you the thing that matters the most – minutes of talk time. Practical, sensible and probably the XX Chromosome you wanna have kids with.

breaking up

ON BREAKING UP

Okay, think of it this way. You’re dating this hot new girl and you’re not sure whether you want to be in a relationship with her. Say you want to change girlfriends. Maxis allows you the option of either breaking up with them after a year, or going into a long term relationship with them.

With the competition, there is no option. You’re stuck with that girl for 2 years even though you would gouge your eyes out and poke out your eardrums with sharp toothpicks to avoid her constant nagging.

Options = good.

booty call

ON BOOTY CALLS

You want it now and you want it fast. That hot, sweet and fast action without the girl suddenly going all psychotic and renegading on the arrangement and wanting to get into a 2 year relationship. You call, she comes, whether in KL, Penang, Ipoh or JB. Maxis has near 100% HSPA+ coverage in Klang Valley and HSPA coverage in most major towns. The competition on the other hand, only has limited 3G coverage in most areas. Why are you buying an iPhone 3GS if you’re surfing on a lower speed?

It doesn’t make sense brothers and sisters.

high maintanence

ON HIGH MAINTENANCE GIRLFRIENDS

Let’s say you’re dating two girls. One of them only expects you to buy her the occasional dinner (you need to eat anyway) which works out to about RM 80 per month on Maxis’ 0% interest easy payment option (iPhone only). The other one sounds good at the start, but constantly bugs you to buy stuff you don’t need every month, which works out to RM 106 per month…and after two years of her crap, she hits you with another whammy – you still haven’t paid for her, and you’re stuck with her for another loooong year. Let me spell this out for you – after two years on the competition’s iPhone plan, you STILL have to pay for your phone (technically, you don’t own it yet) and ALSO the monthly commitment fee. By the Gods above, Fine Print (TM) is a fine thing indeed eh? *sarcasm*

Drop that high maintenance girlfriend and check out the iValue Maxis iPhone plans now!

Maxis customers also get free local calls and SMS between family lines – something that’s important after all the time you’ve spent chasing tail and neglecting your filial obligations. ;)

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36 thoughts on “iPhone plans explained in terms you can relate to

  1. What drugs are you one mate? Totally not making any sense and of course you need more than 1GB per night to download high definition porn. Anybody who denies this is either gay or a f**king liar.

  2. No comment on the content and the weird metaphor. I do however, want to question about the pictures you’re posting. Are these girls OK with you naming them “Booty Call” and “High Maintenance”?

  3. rocket: Haha! I doubt your in the target market for this mate, if you want to download porn, use you notebook/PC instead of an iPhone. ;)
    WinnieKepala: Heh! Yes, I always get approval before posting. The booty call picture was actually changed twice coz the person didn’t want the original one to be posted – it was a bit…revealing. ;)
    mickey: Thanks! I try my best. :)
    Eh, I wasn’t naming any competitors but heh, I see you managed to read through the lines. ;)

  4. foodcrazee: Haha! Yeah, easy to understand bro. ;)
    debbie: Yeah, the Maxis plan is a pretty good deal. I’m going to switch over if I get an iPhone. I want both a BB and an iPhone – to me these are two different divices. :)
    kampungboycitygal: Heh! Good to hear that WZ. :)
    Yeah, the other one sounds good but after looking at the plans it actually isn’t as good as it sounds. It just…er sounds good. I’m going on Maxis too if I get an iPhone.
    Oh! I didn’t know you’re on an iPhone! :)

  5. ciki: Haha! But you’re still reading…so there’s maybe, possibly that X factor that compells you? *action*
    Kidding la, thanks for reading. T_T

  6. having said that… to be fair to both miss d’gee and miss ma-xi, i still see that end of the day, its up to the user to choose the plan that suits them the most. some people like booty calls, others might like to maintain the high maintenance gf for reasons best known to them. end of the day, beat you chest and ask your appetite! (translated from malay proverb – hmm somehow does not came out so right…!)

  7. WEEN: The last pic says, “You better get the camera off my face or I’ll fling that book at you”.
    Talking about fling… Arm candy girl and girlfriends are too much to invest on. Russian/china wives on the other hand, works all the time.

  8. mickey: Haha! Nice one mate. I thought it’s hands as in Tepuk tangan, tanya selera?
    Yup, just illustrating the differences here. :)
    horace: Heh! Thanks! I try to do things in a roundabout way, soft sell is king for me. :)
    You can have two, you know. I have two lines from two different telcos. ;)
    WEEN: You’ll have to fly a long way bro. ;)
    Plus, that was me taking the pic. :)
    Jerine: Haha! You had no intention of doing that. :p
    I don’t know about Russia but China ones, I hear, is a total nightmare. :)
    I still think the first photo was the best. ;)

  9. HB i think you made a mistake in your post. If you take digi’s cash and carry price of RM2389 for the iphone 3GS 32G with idigi238 plan, the Iphone is only:
    RM2389-RM1428 = RM961. RM961!!!!!!, IMHO that is a good price for an iphone and you are not bound to any contract for that! BEAT THAT!!!
    Since the package comes with free 6 months idigi238 i might as well FULLY utilize that first 6 months(voice:1k minutes,sms:600,mms:60,internet:5gb) then consider swapping to maxis if you talk alot on the phone(cheapest ivalue rm100 per month) vs, if you are a pre-paid person like me who doesn’t talk alot, more internet surfing, change to the idigi88 which is rm88 a month.
    Damn good deal from digi if you ask me!!!

  10. e: No bro, I just borrowed her the shirt to wear. :)
    e: BTW, it’s one of my favorite shirts, thanks for giving it to me. Haha! M would be nice. ;)
    rych: Lemme check on the status of that bro! :)

  11. michellezyenn: Haha! Yeah, was trying to get people to relate to the plans. ;)
    Thanks Mich!
    Joorge: …but there’s always new models coming up – it’s just like computers. I always hold the believe that the best time to buy is NOW. ;)
    Cheers mate!

  12. Jerine: Haha! You really want me to tell on the blog? ;)
    Okay, officially, it’s because it was my birthday. Standard Party Line okay? I remember you reading the Maxis iPhone on the papers during that day.

  13. rych. u got it totally wrong dude.
    for miss d’gee’s plan for iphone, does not matter whether you pay using cash/credit card + 6months UPFRONT or using the EPP24 or EPP24+12. the total amount paid comes up to the same thing. total paid for phone (3GS 32G) + plan at the end of 24th month will be:
    a. RM4,208 for 88 plan
    b. RM5,068 for 138 plan
    c. RM6,888 for 238 plan.
    now as for miss maxi-skirt’s plan for the iphone, total paid for phone (3GS 32G) + plan at the end of 24th month will be:
    a. RM4,310 for iValue1 (100)
    b. RM5,396 for iValue2 (155)
    c. RM7,190 for iValue 3 (250)
    d. RM9,540 for iValue 4 (375)
    note: this total already take into account the rm200 bday discount from miss maxi-skirt.
    for ms d’gee, what is differs on the payment method is:
    1. cash / credit card: u pay upfront on phone + 6 months. then u still have to pay monthly plan for the next 18 months.
    2. epp24: u will pay all at once to ms d’gee via SELECTED credit card (refer their website for more details). then u will pay monthly installment to your credit card company over 24 months.
    3. epp24+12: u will pay all at once to ms d’gee via SELECTED credit card (refer their website for more details). then u will spread the payment evenly after 36 months. the difference between epp24 and epp24+12 is… for epp24+12, after the 24 months contract ends, u free to choose any plan for your iphone. heck u can even jump to other telco. but you still need to settle installment with credit card.
    deng… someone please pay me for this detailed analysis…
    disclaimer: the calculation is one best educated guess and based on the understanding i had from conversations with the CS staffs from the telcos.

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