This is currently the #1 trending topic on Twitter and I figured I’ll do the blog version of #10ThingsIFindAttractive
1. Nice eyes
It’s the window to the soul and all that. It’s the very first thing I notice about a girl actually. I look at the face and catch the eyes. I’m a sucker for nice eyes. I don’t have a particular type that I like – I don’t mind Occidental eyelids as long as it looks good. Bright and intelligent is the look I’m after – it says a lot about the person looking out from them.
2. Filial piety
I know it’s weird to include this in the list but hey, you were raised with certain values and you…well, value those values above all others. Nature vs nurture, this being nurture. I like someone who respects their family (if any). I’m a meet-the-family kind of guy and usually (means more than 50% – would put a higher figure but I don’t know if I can back it up 
) their parents like me. I’ll like to raise a family with the same values – not the old skool MY WORD IS LAW version (au contraire) but one of mutual respect.
You want to know your children have your back, just as you’re there for your parents and this is a kind of thing that can only be pulled off with both parents believing in the same ideals.
3. Nice legs
Hey, what can I say? You know the question that goes “tits or ass”? I’m neither. I’m a leg person. I like nice legs. It’s what turns me on. I honestly don’t really care for breasts – my brain is just not wired like that, but legs…now that’s a whole different matter.
4. Thinks for herself
This is quite important as I abhor sheeple. I don’t like people who’s all cliquey and can’t think for themselves and follows the herd. Nope, not even if you’re the leader of the clique. I have nothing but contempt for group think.
Intelligence also goes into here. It’s either-or – someone who thinks for herself MUST be intelligent. It’s not a slippery slope argument, it just is. I love intelligence – it’s the smart ones that always attracts me.
5. Humor
I don’t need a comedian in my life. By humor, I don’t mean someone who cracks jokes every single day (that would be rather annoying). Humor is just perspective – a way of looking at our fucked up lives, shrugging and saying “Hey, it is what it is” with a wry grin.
In other words, someone who can still be upbeat in spite of all the shit life has thrown at you. Example:
Me: Fuck man, I’ve got liver cirrhosis.
Her: What song do you want me to play at your funeral?
Dark humor is fine, as long as you know she loves you and cares about you deep down. Devastated even, but still game for a final hurrah – a trip around the world in the last 3 months of your life.
6. Honesty
I once had an ex-girlfriend who told me something rather shocking. Verbatim:
Her: Huai Bin, we need to talk. I have something to tell you.
Me: What is it?
Her: You remember the Dormicum I took yesterday?
Me: How could I forget? I told you not to, coz you’re drinking after that.
Her: Well…I did and I ended up in a hotel room with this guy. I honestly can’t remember if we had sex. I think we might have but I’m not sure.
You know what? I forgave her for that. She was honest enough to want a relationship without lies and living with that guilt and I admired her for that. She considered hiding it from me but ended up choosing to tell me after a day. It was the bravest thing I’ve seen someone do as I know that she really loved me at that time and vice versa.
(after the initial shock and feelings of betrayal have passed)
Me: You did wear a condom right?
Her: I can’t remember but I’m pretty sure the guy would.
See: Dark humor. It really makes a relationship last.
7. Public displays of affection
I’m one of the people who likes it. Seriously, it warms my heart to see couples in their old age holding hands. I’m not talking about hand snaking into flies and groping under skirts – not the “Get a fucking room” kind of PDA but a more subdued, constant touch like holding hands, leaning into me in a cinema etc.
8. Straight hair
I can’t explain it. I just don’t like curly hair – the texture isn’t for me. It’s just a quirk of mine, just like I don’t like too much makeup on a girl.
I have a slight inclination towards long hair but have seen girls with short hair that looks awesome too. Just as long as it’s straight.
9. Caring
This shouldn’t even be in the list. It’s a no-brainer. Everyone likes to feel cared for, even the toughest Neanderthal back in the days would probably grunt in agreement. The opposite can manifest – fake and “routine” deals like saying “How was your day, honey?” without meaning it.
(and not wanting to hear the answer)
I’ll go for a more sincere understanding that we care about each other any day.
10. Kindness
Isn’t this the same as caring? No, kindness is a way of life. It’s about forgiving and forgetting the small stuff (and even some of the big ones).
It’s what keeps you going when all the serotonin excitement has gone out of your relationship and you’ve settled into a more comfortable dopamine – oxytocin long term relationship.
It also helps if you break up – you don’t have a vengeful and angry ex girlfriend on your ass threatening to castrate you with a rusty butter knife.
Hey, always better to remain friends right? 🙂
What are the things you find attractive in the opposite (or same, if you swing that way) sex?
i like chicks with long hair. lol.
I’m cool with either long or short hair as long as it’s straight. I am fond of straight hair.
I don’t know why bro, it’s just a thing. That’s not to say that I won’t date someone with curly hair…but I’ll probably get her saloon coupons for hair straightening or something for our anniversary.
Haha! Kidding bro. 😀
Dude, fuzzy hair like you know whose can be ticklish, to a point that results in PE……..:(
Haha! That’s a good one man.
It sounds interesting. I probably should try it one day.
Oops, no disrespect and send my love to FF! 😀
Errr you need to be careful with the nice eyes… Many girls nowadays wear contact lenses that make their eyes more beautiful + bigger LOL it’s fake!
Yeah I know!
Damn technology, science and general progress in surgery, it used to be that WYSIWYG (What You See Is What You Get) but nowadays you never know.
I’ve even thought a girl was quite hot until a friend told me, dude that isn’t a girl. It’s a he.
Oh well.
Haha!
Anyway, I think all kinds of eyes can be nice – size really doesn’t matter. It’s more about the spark of intelligence behind it. Hmm…I can’t really describe it, but I know it when I see it. 😀
i like the honesty part 🙂 nice post here.. definately came from your heart
Hey there bro! 🙂
Yup, true story there. I can’t say I wasn’t hurt, disappointed, or outraged. It took a while for me to get over the feelings of betrayal.
…but ultimately the honesty and sheer love I had for her won over.
She’s a really nice person, and it wasn’t entirely her fault. It was a really good relationship, come to think of it. She really loved me and I really loved her.
Anyway, the inside joke was what made it funny.
Her: I can’t remember but I’m pretty sure the guy would.
I don’t know the guy but I know he knows me as “the injecting drug user” and he knows I’m dating my then girlfriend. What he doesn’t know is that I never share or even reuse my own syringes. Haha! It was funny coz…well, you can’t help but laugh after all that’s happened.
I’m not sure if that makes sense, the guy was a prim and proper married dude with a penchant for infidelity. It’s a bit of an inside joke, that last bit. We both had a laugh and case closed. I totally forgave her for that one, as she forgave me for other crap in the beginning (which would make a totally wonderful story mate). 🙂
humor and intelligence, definitely. and a most unfortunate gravitation towards writers. because i like to listen to stories or something.
Yeah, I guess that’s pretty much a given. It is for me too. 😀
Writers eh? I can see the appeal too. I have dated people from various fields and find that (from my very limited observations):
1. Accountants are the most corruptible, especially if they’ve been really good all along.
2. Pharmacists are the most wicked (in bed and partying in general) while their fellow nurses, especially ones from the ICU are the most naive.
Writers…I have yet to draw a conclusion, since they come in so many variants! I guess the two above does as well, maybe it’s just the ones that I’ve met. 🙂
as a writer myself, and one who encounters many of the same kind, i must say that we have a predilection for being drama queens and overtly self-absorbed arsewipes. that and in more instances than not, a little bit emotionally dysfunctional, and rather unreasonable in our expectations.
or maybe that just me, but in my opinion, they’re possibly one of the more volatile types out there to get involved with (as are many of those highly-creative sorts).
HAHAHA
I totally agree on the self-absorbed assholes bit. A thread that binds us all. 🙂
Hilarious, the way you put it. I have been also accused of losing my grip on reality at times (by psychiatrists) so I guess you’re right in that department too. 😉
Creative people are always a bit temperamental.
writers don’t speak, fresh, they write, some of them can’t speak!
that is very true lol.
Heh! Seriously though, I sometimes think of it as “listen” as well.
It’s the way I read, if I know a person, the words will go into my mind and sounds like the person writing. 😀
…if I don’t, say in a novel or something, I’ll make up character voices for them. It’s how you visualize characters in a novel too e.g. I know some of the casting choices for Game of Thrones Season 2 is going to be bad. 😡
Haha! Maybe Fresh is using some text-to-speech app to read stuff. I’ve listened to some great audiobooks in my time. I find Stephen King to be a good narrator. 😉
i’ve learnt though, that not everyone out that can take the sort of honesty you speak of. i’m pretty sure if i had that sort of conversation with many of the men i’ve dated they would just go off the deep end.
you know what? your list of attractive traits are pretty much mine too. except i like nice buns on my man. and dark hair. 😉
I know! I think I offended this girl I met recently totally unintentionally with the curly hair comment. FML MAX.
I just wrote what I felt at the time and didn’t stop to ask any questions. I find that this kind of writing provides the most release, it’s what blogging was supposed to be about. 🙂
Hey, I guess it’s an Aries thing eh? 😉
Nice ass and dark hair. I can see how that’s appealing. 😀
Well, the hair bit anyway, since I’m a leg person and it somehow does not extend to the ass. Haha!
i’m partial to nicely muscled calves on a man too, but the last guy i confessed this to found it a little bit odd.
you know something, the few relationships that i fondly remember were those where i could freely express myself knowing that the honesty would be appreciated. unfortunately those are few and far in between.
ah well. i remain semi-hopeful that one of those will come along someday. 😀
Hey, to each his (or her) own! 🙂
Nicely muscled calves you want, and that’s your right to have. 😀
Indeed, I find that one of the most important traits actually. Honesty.
It goes SUCH a long way to building trust in a relationship. My best ones were the ones that came straight out and told me everything – full disclosure. 🙂
HB, looks last not forever but a person inside themselves does. Most people with good looks are shallow and self center. Growing up and seeing it in schools how I foresee people. They won’t hang out with you unless you dress upscale or have rich parents. Girls are the most in that. Now I am a adult the very same people who knew me in school try to hang out with me. Change a lot in looks and is a researcher at Stanford U.
But I still like to hang with people who were humble back then and still are today.
Yup, I know that. 🙂
I’m just listing the Top 10 Attractive Traits I find in a person off the top of my head.
Heh! Yeah, I guess it can sound a bit shallow, the aesthetics bit but hey, it is what it is. I guess everyone has a bit of shallow in them. 😉
I just found it enjoyable to write. I was really tired when I got home today, saw this trending and decided to write about it. I totally had a blast not caring about what people thought and just blogging like back in the days. 😀
However, I know what you’re talking about though. I hate those people too. They’re in my list as the opposite of #4. Thinks for herself
The people you refer to is what I call sheeple. Those hanging out in cliques, only finding solace, courage and security to their innate self-consciousness and self-doubt by talking shit about everyone else or trying too hard to change and fit into a clique when they are so beautiful being a loner.
You’re like a friend I had back in Form 1. She was really fat growing up and everyone teased her and now she’s REALLY HOT and everyone wants to date her. She told me once that she remembers me as the only person who did not tease her about being fat.
To be honest, I don’t particularly remember her or did that out of any truly altruistic kindheartedness…coz as you know, teenagers can be very mean. I just don’t like to be part of a bitchy male/female/coed clique of assholes. 🙂
“See: Dark humor. It really makes a relationship last.”
Apparently not…… 🙂
HAHAHAHAHA
You got me there bro. 😀
However, it DOES work, trust me. We were really happy while it lasted.
We broke up for completely different reasons, it was very complex. Some of it was geographical (Australia, Sibu) but most of is a mixed bag of unfortunate circumstances and just plain immaturity, mostly on my side. It’s a story for another time. 🙂
Hey, and it’s one of the relationships where we’re still friends. She’s an awesome person.
my list is too long.
Wow Michelle!
You’ve got really high expectations for a guy eh? 😀
lol its like a meme. But bloody good post btw! watching the comments space for anyone signing up?
Thanks Brian!
I thoroughly enjoyed writing it – it flows out easy coz it’s really what blogging back in the days were all about. 🙂
Heh! Who? You mean my ex girlfriend?
ngam ngam i fit in to all the criteria.. but unfortunately, I am a guy.. aiks.. but i am gay virtually.. so maybe it is not that unfortunate either.. let me know when you are losing hope on girls.. 😛 ..
nice post.. ! really good one!
Haha! Okay, I’ll let you know if I’m ever curious. 😉
I do want to have children though and I don’t like adoption – it has to contain genes from either-or in the worst case scenario, like IVF treatments.
Thanks bro! Appreciate the kind comments! 😀
You forgot to mention HUMBLE!
Most chicks nowadays have SVB – Seriously Vain Behaviour!
Hmm…that would be a good attribute to have too, but there’s too many to list! 🙂
I’ll like to add “RELIGIOUS” to the list too but then again I’m not religious – am an agnostic so it’s too much to ask.
I guess the list above will have me searching till the end of days anyway. 😉
that’s it? haha..
nice one.. i think i shall come up with my own version too! 😛