This is currently the #1 trending topic on Twitter and I figured I’ll do the blog version of #10ThingsIFindAttractive
1. Nice eyes
It’s the window to the soul and all that. It’s the very first thing I notice about a girl actually. I look at the face and catch the eyes. I’m a sucker for nice eyes. I don’t have a particular type that I like – I don’t mind Occidental eyelids as long as it looks good. Bright and intelligent is the look I’m after – it says a lot about the person looking out from them.
2. Filial piety
I know it’s weird to include this in the list but hey, you were raised with certain values and you…well, value those values above all others. Nature vs nurture, this being nurture. I like someone who respects their family (if any). I’m a meet-the-family kind of guy and usually (means more than 50% – would put a higher figure but I don’t know if I can back it up ) their parents like me. I’ll like to raise a family with the same values – not the old skool MY WORD IS LAW version (au contraire) but one of mutual respect.
You want to know your children have your back, just as you’re there for your parents and this is a kind of thing that can only be pulled off with both parents believing in the same ideals.
3. Nice legs
Hey, what can I say? You know the question that goes “tits or ass”? I’m neither. I’m a leg person. I like nice legs. It’s what turns me on. I honestly don’t really care for breasts – my brain is just not wired like that, but legs…now that’s a whole different matter.
4. Thinks for herself
This is quite important as I abhor sheeple. I don’t like people who’s all cliquey and can’t think for themselves and follows the herd. Nope, not even if you’re the leader of the clique. I have nothing but contempt for group think.
Intelligence also goes into here. It’s either-or – someone who thinks for herself MUST be intelligent. It’s not a slippery slope argument, it just is. I love intelligence – it’s the smart ones that always attracts me.
I don’t need a comedian in my life. By humor, I don’t mean someone who cracks jokes every single day (that would be rather annoying). Humor is just perspective – a way of looking at our fucked up lives, shrugging and saying “Hey, it is what it is” with a wry grin.
In other words, someone who can still be upbeat in spite of all the shit life has thrown at you. Example:
Me: Fuck man, I’ve got liver cirrhosis.
Her: What song do you want me to play at your funeral?
Dark humor is fine, as long as you know she loves you and cares about you deep down. Devastated even, but still game for a final hurrah – a trip around the world in the last 3 months of your life.
I once had an ex-girlfriend who told me something rather shocking. Verbatim:
Her: Huai Bin, we need to talk. I have something to tell you.
Me: What is it?
Her: You remember the Dormicum I took yesterday?
Me: How could I forget? I told you not to, coz you’re drinking after that.
Her: Well…I did and I ended up in a hotel room with this guy. I honestly can’t remember if we had sex. I think we might have but I’m not sure.
You know what? I forgave her for that. She was honest enough to want a relationship without lies and living with that guilt and I admired her for that. She considered hiding it from me but ended up choosing to tell me after a day. It was the bravest thing I’ve seen someone do as I know that she really loved me at that time and vice versa.
(after the initial shock and feelings of betrayal have passed)
Me: You did wear a condom right?
Her: I can’t remember but I’m pretty sure the guy would.
See: Dark humor. It really makes a relationship last.
7. Public displays of affection
I’m one of the people who likes it. Seriously, it warms my heart to see couples in their old age holding hands. I’m not talking about hand snaking into flies and groping under skirts – not the “Get a fucking room” kind of PDA but a more subdued, constant touch like holding hands, leaning into me in a cinema etc.
8. Straight hair
I can’t explain it. I just don’t like curly hair – the texture isn’t for me. It’s just a quirk of mine, just like I don’t like too much makeup on a girl.
I have a slight inclination towards long hair but have seen girls with short hair that looks awesome too. Just as long as it’s straight.
This shouldn’t even be in the list. It’s a no-brainer. Everyone likes to feel cared for, even the toughest Neanderthal back in the days would probably grunt in agreement. The opposite can manifest – fake and “routine” deals like saying “How was your day, honey?” without meaning it.
(and not wanting to hear the answer)
I’ll go for a more sincere understanding that we care about each other any day.
Isn’t this the same as caring? No, kindness is a way of life. It’s about forgiving and forgetting the small stuff (and even some of the big ones).
It’s what keeps you going when all the serotonin excitement has gone out of your relationship and you’ve settled into a more comfortable dopamine – oxytocin long term relationship.
It also helps if you break up – you don’t have a vengeful and angry ex girlfriend on your ass threatening to castrate you with a rusty butter knife.
Hey, always better to remain friends right? :)
What are the things you find attractive in the opposite (or same, if you swing that way) sex?