OJ! OJ! OJ!

I got a bottle of orange juice to wash down my dinner today. It’s
that freshly squeezed stuff that has pulp. I shook it and opened the
bottle cap. I put the bottle cap down on the table and opened Windows
Media Player 8. I took up the bottle and SHOOK THE DAMN THING AGAIN! I
estimate a good 250 ml splashed out of the bottle and went EVERYWHERE.
This is the pulpy stuff that’s hard to wipe off. The worst thing was, I
still wasn’t aware of it and KEPT SHAKING THE BOTTLE until my mind when
“uh-oh” and I went “fuck…” and THEN did my right hand stop shaking
the bottle. All this took about 3 seconds, so yeah, you can imagine the
damage it did. It was like a giant ejaculation.

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