Problems stressing you out? You need an outlet for your anger? No cats to kick or other methods of venting frustration?
Fear not, dear readers. I have introduced a new category in sixthseal.com called Dear Aries. It’s basically where you can write in about your personal problems and I will read and listen with a sympathetic ear and give you advice (which I hear is the worse kind of vice ;)). This is the first letter I have received from Confused in Miri, Sarawak.
Spend some time with me, say you’ll be mine
Dear Aries,
I am caught between a rock and a hard place. I met this girl at work and I’ve been attracted to her ever since I saw her. I’ve been secretly admiring (God, I hate this word) her for a while now, though I knew she was attached. Her boyfriend picks her up from work everyday and I’ve been wanting to ask her out ever since I saw her. I spoke to her a couple of times when we bumped into each other at the elevator and she seems like a nice person.
Anyway, fast forward to several months later and I started noticing that her boyfriend has stopped picking her up from work (God, I’m such a stalker). Curious about this sudden change of affairs (and seeing an opportunity), I inquired about the situation when I bumped into her again. Apparently, the boyfriend is Out of Town (TM) so I decided to ask her out.
Well, you know what love is right? It’s psychical attraction at first sight and then personality compatibility at the second stage. That’s where the problem comes in – we hit it off immediately. It’s like we’re kindred souls, and we started going out for lunch and at night. I’ve never met a girl like this before, one that I could easily talk to and open up with.
Anyway, pretty soon we had a rather intense relationship going. It’s pretty much all or nothing with me. I gave this relationship everything I had coz I thought this girl was Worth It (TM). Was she The One (TM)? I don’t know, but she’s been the closest “one” ever since this pharmacist I was going out with in Kuching broke up with me.
It was really, really good for a while. I literally worshiped the girl. She’s a little older than me and she’s very mature and that really appeals to me. She grounds my impulsive, self-destructive personality and she’s been really nice to me too, little gestures like bringing breakfast for me coz she knows I only drink coffee for breakfast.
Anyway, pretty soon The Boyfriend (TM) found out about the relationship and all hell broke loose. She stopped seeing me, although we still talk on the phone and arrange for secret, quick rendezvous sessions. Lately though, I have noticed that it’s just not good enough for me anymore. I don’t want a “girlfriend” that’s only available on the phone instead of being beside me. I hate the feeling of not being able to hug her and kiss her and just feel the comfort of being with her.
She was very honest and open with me that she’ll be leaving very soon and that we could never have an open relationship. It has to be covert due to the Unique Circumstances (TM) that she was in. I thought it would be good enough for me, but back then at least I got to go out with her. She can only stay at home now and just talk on the phone due to Restrictions (TM) placed on her since being found out. We can’t even go out now and it’s probably going to remain this way until she leaves.
What should I do? Should I just call it quits and pull out? Or do I torture myself by being a hermit for the remainder of the time and stay at home in the very rare occasion that she manages to sneak 10 minutes to be with me?
Do I pull the Band Aid off in one quick motion or do I pull it slowly off?
I used to say I never met a girl like you before,
Still ain’t got a fucking clue to who you truly are…
Please help,
Confused.
Dear Idiot,
I got bored reading your letter halfway. Your verbosity exceeds even that of Ayn Rand. Has anyone ever finished reading Atlas Shrugged? I didn’t think so.
Kindred souls, my ass. How long have you been going out with this girl? It’s probably still the honeymoon period right?
I’m not even interested to hear about your personal attributes, which you so generously sprinkled throughout your letter, you narcissistic fuck.
Get to the fucking point, you took up several paragraphs writing the background which could have been achieved with six words in bullet form.
Okay, let me get this right.
1. Girl = Unavailable.
2. You = Infatuated.
3. Girl = Leaving.
That’s the gist of what your long winded letter was saying right? Read your #3 again. Again. And again.
Which part about leaving do you not understand? Imbecile!
You pathetic fuck, stop feeling sorry for yourself and move on!
It seems like you listen to Eminem from the quote from Spend Some Time. It’s a very good break up song, I have taken the liberty of scouring YouTube for a video and embedding it here for you to listen to and start being a man again. Listen to that bit about “but when someone seems too good to be true, they usually are”.
Quit using “anyway” and “well” as paragraph leaders in your writing. It’s very irritating to read.
Oh, and over here in Malaysia, we call them “lifts” not “elevators”.
P/S – What’s with that (TM) shit anyway? Your dad patent the word one izzit?
Poh Huai Bin. Hmmmm. Why so deep? 🙂
Excellent post HB. Way the go man!!
It’s a 2 way street. Either she goes to Confused or The Boyfriend. It’s her decision to make. Whatever the way, life goes on.
Yeah, definitely overdose of TM.
What’s that gun you’re holding? Looks like a Glock with some weird compensator attachment 🙂
hahaaha~ i think if u become a counselor in a month u can settle 100 cases 😉
Dear Aries, Well, actually l don’t have a problem. Anyway, l would just like to comment. Well, if you do not reply, it’s just as well anyway. Well, that’s all and thanks anyway. Hahahahahaha!!!
Huai Bin if you’re in her boyfriend shoes, you’ll probably get mad if she’s cheating in the relationship. There are plenty unattached girls out there, you just need patient and time and who knows one day you’ll get better girl!
The girl sounds like a proper slut. Her Boyfriend (TM) should dump her and Confused can then get in there and bonk her and then dump her too. Then Boyfriend (TM) and Confused should get together and become good mates.
eh you writing letter to yourself and answering it yourself ah??
walao~ counselling society?
Thank goodness his ex pharmacist gf dumbed him. he is a looser. come on lah, be a man, can? 😉
HB, you are a legend! This is your magnum opus. The emotional and objective sides of your mind represented on a single page. Aries should pull the trigger… Let it bleed mate…
Bleeding love instead!
Time cures anyway..
hai. wish u luck. joe knowing hb i confirm he already bonk her. hehe.
aw… you useless piece of shit! =)
on a serious note, if she’s worth it, you should fight for it because she’s not married anyway.
IMO girls like this ain’t worth it. =)
bestest advise ever
are you writing bout your love life here, HB, just curious……cheers..
confused should just settle it the old fashioned way. mano e mano. shootout at the ok corral style or an old fashioned fist fight. the winner gets the girl, just like in the movies.
on a sidenote, asking a question and then answering it oneself is a possible sign of insanity 😛
now u reminded me maya, the witch – one of our local “coqueluches” :p
that’s the path, man… that’s the path… one of this days you’re gonna find urself managing the public relationships dept. of some big shhhh nightclub… and then, either u tarot them well… or u die…
waa..
Advise 1 : Take the gun and shoot the girl.
Advise 2 : Shoot the girl & the boyfriend
Advise 3 : Follow advise 1 & 2!
Frankly speaking, the girl is not worth it and the boy is really dumb for wanting such a undecisive girl. Common lah.. She don’t have free will meh? Why cannot go out? She under lock and key meh? Girls like these really make all of us other girls/women look and sound bad! I’ll stop here or else I’ll go into a long string of %@!###!!!!!
No offense HB but the letter wrote by “confused” sound like your own personal experience
Split personalities.. I loike!
So this girl actually loves TM or the pathetic one? 🙂
“….we could never have an open relationship.”
But she’s okay with having ‘not-open’ relationship eh?
Pull the Band Aid off in one quick motion, sure!
I am quite worried with Confused. I hope he handled it well. He should have known the consequences of dating a girl who are technically unavailable anymore. The girl might be just being nice to him and treat him as her little brother. Listen to PHB, stop feeling sorry for yourself and move on!
*hug* to the confused Aries
essentric: Heh! I just felt like writing a post like this. 😉
It’s quite thinly disguised, eh?
JoeNiece: Cheers mate!
willchua: Yeah, nothing really lasts forever, and we both know hearts can change. 🙂
Vince: It’s a Glock replica. Accepts gas catridges and shoots steel BB pellets. I got it in Bangkok and had a hell of a time getting it back. I had to dismantle the replica (it assembles like a real gun) and put various pieces in different places in my luggage.
Bert: Yeah, simple solutions for simple problems. 😉
suituapui: Dear reader, thank you for commenting. Have a nice day! Cheers!
Justin: Hmm…actually I won’t. I have had a gf who cheated on me, but we made up and got over it. I only broke up with her coz she cheated on me again, when she promised it won’t happen again. I believe in second chances.
I’ve also had girls dumping me (it happens to the best of us) for another guy, and I’ve never been mad at them either. All’s fair in love and war. I just said okay, and remained friends afterwards. I guess different people react differently.
Personally, I don’t believe in holding on to a relationship when the partner has already lost their love for you or loves someone else. I prefer to let it be, and remain as friends. I don’t know, maybe it’s just me.
Thanks for the support though, I’m sure The One (TM) is out there. 😉
Joe: She’s not. Seriously, things like this happen all the time. I’ve seen a lot of relationships and I believe statistic are 70% of women have extramarital affairs while 90% of men do. It’s much more common than people like to think.
Anyway, I think Confused won’t be so confused if it was still a platonic relationship. 😉
There’s gotta be more in it for him to feel that way. 🙂
ront: Eh, where got? Confused is in Miri. I’m in Sibu.
/me denies everything. 😉
vincent: It’s a service. 😉
cynthia: Haha! Tough love eh, Cynthia. 😉
Okay, I shall advice Confused to act more manly. Haha!
The Bull: Thanks mate! I appreciate the kind comments. I didn’t think of it that way until you mentioned it. I actually wrote the two sides in tandem, that’s how I think as well, perhaps it’s coz I’m bipolar. 😉
singye: Yeah, that is indeed true. I’ve learnt that in 2006. 🙂
butterscotch: Eh, don’t make my saham turun can or not? :p
I never said I bonked her already. I deny everything! 🙂
Colin T.: Yeah, I know what you mean. I’ll talk to Confused and see what he says. It’s much more complicated than that from the stuff he’s told me.
suanie: Haha! Yeah, but walking the walk is different. 😉
LoonNative: Nope, I don’t have a love life. 😉
kandyman: Heh! I have been diagnosed as being bipolar with Borderline Personality Disorder tendencies. I was on Prozac, Lamictal, Risperdal (an anti-psychotic) and Remeron before going to rehab. Plus a lot of benzos, of course. 😉
j..: Yeah, I think if I had walked down a different path, I would be a criminal figure by now instead of being a cubicle slave. Aries tend to make good criminals. 😉
CheekyBear: I don’t think Confused wants to go to jail. 😉
From what I gather, it’s much more complicated than that. Attached means a lot of things – having a bf/gf is technically “attached”, being engaged is also considered “attached” and even married is considered “attached”. I think Confused didn’t clarify the level of “attachment” the girl is at. 😉
Black Knight: None taken, my friend. 🙂
I might have experienced things like this before. I have broken most of the 10 Commandments myself. 😉
bongkersz: That’s a very good question, to which I have no good answer. I will ask Confused to ask the girl. 😉
Yeah, I prefer one quick motion too. 🙂
Choonie: Hmm…from what I gather about Confused, he’s not in a relationship like that. I seriously doubt someone like him would go head over heals over a platonic relationship. He doesn’t even do that for non-platonic relationships with girls he doesn’t love. He does and he dumps. 😉
I think he really likes this one, feels she’s The One (TM) etc etc.
Don’t worry about him though, I think he’s going to be just fine. 🙂
fish fish: Eh, Aries is me. Hug Confused. 😉
Thanks for the hug though. 🙂
There is no leg room for one who cheats. I can never understand why anyone would still be attracted to someone who has tendency to cheat, even if you’re the third party. It only tells you that if she can cheat her bf for you, she can cheat you for someone else too.
Greetings to the Confused one. I hope things work out as well as possible. Don’t forget that there are lots who care about you, people who always will. I did just over two years ago and I’m still trying every day to find something worth living for. *hugs* Take care…
Ah, very inspriing lyrics indeed. Thanks Aries! I love the bit about “I can’t believe I almost flew the coop for some stupid whore”. 😉
Never date/bang co-workers.
Problem solved.
OMG, I got bored reading it half way through, get a life man!
You know in Malaysia you have lifts…and in San Francisco they have pay-bathroom-booths which are auto cleaning when the door shuts (all that water also potentially drowns any vagrants who would dare spend the night in one for free).
Hmmmm, between pain and pleasure, lifts and public toilets…let’s do a Buddhist collage.
How do we solve this attachment, vs the “one taste” for all phenomena. Hmmm whenever we feel that “yang for the yin of a 10 minute rendezvous” (TM) maybe there could be a PAY-LIFT-BOOTH (TM) on every corner of every sidewalk. There would just be a simple hole in the wall of the booth for every YANG, and any vagrant who so kindly had washed their hands could provide a temporary YIN LIFT (TM) or a MAGIC HANDSHAKE (TM).
Very Crude, but it might work, and actually keep vagrants well fed, their hands clean, but I daresay they’d have to wear a police helmet to protect their eyes from a million ~
This really happened.
In an interview with the Dalai Lama, he was asked “what do you most miss by being the Dalai Lama”. He grinned and pointed to his crotch.
THAT is honesty.
the Dalai Lama has been a bit negative about the “practice” or “worship” of deity Dorje Shugden, saying it is a spirit. Well honestly, D.S. is a kind of bipolar energy, and I agree no one in their right mind would want to call on it for inspiration or just “bring it on” it is a ripping rending of opposites. But that doesn’t mean those born with D.S. tendencies are not allowed to express themselves and have double the impetus to share their journey of reconciling extremes. We all have buddha nature and sometimes the painting of extremes, as long as comedic and nonviolent, actually makes clear the unstated “middle way”.
There is a Christian allegory to the three maries of the cross and the three kalis at the base of Harihara…
It is also a visual of the Trikaya Doctrine…
http://i57.photobucket.com/albums/g233/mogrhod/HariHara07.jpg
All phenomena is intrinsically pure as it is, we just get a little twisted, pulled in different directions and confused. In fact in the Hindu view of “Shakta” or “Shakti” ALL ENERGY is feminine (or say, MOMMA MARY (TM) CATHOLIC CHURCH). If we really realize this we can see why all those naked pot smoking yogis on the Ganges have abandoned pursuit of women, because they see EVERYTHING whether CRAP or GOOD FOOD as ALL WOMAN. It is like they are Hugh Hefners of religion, everything to them is the Playboy Bunny, peaceful and fluffy, and they are no longer life after life trying to get into the rabbit hole(s). My father has many (PLAYBOY (TM)) mansions.
The kindgom of heaven is within.
Rabbit hole-pistol hole-head hole-rabbit hole pistol hole-head hole
it’s gotta stop somewhere, maybe those vagrants wearing their bathrobes on the streets have something we dont. they are SECRET HUGH HEFNERS (TM).
Regarding TM, an old gypsy saying PROPERTY IS THEFT (but don’t check my clothing logos, then I’m just another thief in the night bringing the wild into humanity…can we say…green?
YEAH… Her bf (Fiance) should dump her!!! Idiot!!! n you win!!! Get her off!!!
So. Pissed. Off. When you put so much effort into something and it gets blown off just like that it feels like your efforts are for jack.
Oh ya, not talking about the girl here, about something else.
Oh well, it’s all about “How high?” when someone says jump right?
i go….. zzzzzZZZZZ… by half way….
Split personality…? only a little blunt at the end but i guess u cut to the point.
Dear “Confused”: sorry man but if she really liked you she’d ditch the bf for you. get over it.
imagine you turning into a psychologist?…lol
well, if the writer does exist, i’ll tell him
Get ##!%%$&@ outta my face man !!! Get a life or something..
cheers HB (your blog still rocks!!)
Haha…..seems like this post is hot. I start laughing when reading the feedback u gave. Really a nice one 😉
Haha…..seems like this post is hot. I start laughing when reading the feedback u gave. Really a nice one 😉
Get the gun from Huai Bing and shoot the girl. I assure u will never worry nor miss that girl anymore. That’s what I did before.
In psychology non-monogamy and infidelity are mostly studied because, indeed, they are quite common. What is more fascinating is to study our cousins who have 98% of our DNA, patriarchal wife beating chimpanzees, or matriarchal free love “sex as handshake” Bonobos…but anyway,always a choice.
Plenty of dead horse and dysfunctional relationships get flogged, but it does boil down to acceptance. GOTTMAN has done good scientific analysis on couples therapy and thinking of monogamy.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychology_of_monogamy
In fact we are due for some counseling and my wife’s anger management issues. I only had one lap dance the whole marriage and my pants were one an i told her about it within 24 hours, she still is beating me up…but that is part of Catholicism, flogging I guess.
When I look at you I can see an angel in your eyes, but if I look deeper inside I see a freakish little side, like a devil in disguise.