The Chronicles of Tsathoggua


Tsathoggua vs Shugo


The Battle of the Titans

Once upon a time, Shugo, a seal from his genetic makeup, emerges from the sea to dwell in the Land of Man. His fur was as white as snow, and everyone loved his soft and pliable body.

Little did Shugo know, his days of peace and quiet among the humans were numbered. The Elder God Tsathoggua awakened from his millennia-long slumber deep beneath the seas. That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange aeons, even death may die.

shugo life

Tsathoggua is an Old One, fallen from his position among the Elder Gods for black magic transgressions. The Sleeper of N’kai has since dwelled beneath the darkest seas, bidding for time when he can arise again.

Tsathoggua, an amorphous, toad-like god-creature mentioned in the Pnakotic Manuscripts and the Necronomicon of HP Lovecraft is a fearsome creature which I bought in Melaka and placed on my desk at work to guard my workspace.

I’m not really sure that purchasing Tsathoggua was entirely of my own volition. It could very well be the Toad-God himself sending emanations from deep beneath the ocean in an effort to manifest himself in the fabric of the world we are living in…just to kill Shugo.

I’m sure there’s a history behind these two aquatic creatures. Some beef (pardon the pun) from aeons past which I unwittingly became part of, along with Naoko (who owns Shugo the seal).

Naoko choreographed Shugo and I orchestrated the attacks of Tsathoggua. It was totally unrehearsed, a very impromptu thing. The covert attacks were done early morning or during lunch so both of us didn’t see the results until we came back separately. The photos were all taken using cell phones. All photos by Naoko except the ones with the watermark. It was the most fun I had in the office for ages! It does wonders for creativity too. πŸ˜‰

Without further ado, the battle report:

shugo club

Tsathoggua attempts to club Shugo. It appears the human habit of clubbing seals doesn’t work too well with fallen Elder Gods.

shugo stalk

Shugo stalks a frog. Tsathoggua is infuriated by being called a mere frog.

shugo hump

Tsathoggua clubs Shugo for real.

shugo taunt

Shugo goes into hiding. The taunt: You can’t catch me.

shugo tp

Incensed, Tsathoggua emulates the juvenile behavior and proceeds to TP Shugo with a spare roll of toilet paper.

shugo hand

Tsathoggua immediately launches a follow up attack – The righteous smiting hand of (The Elder) God.

shugo hide

Shugo goes into hiding after being mortally wounded.

shugo nerf

Unfortunately, the nefarious Shugo snuck up with a Nerf gun (nefarious, Nerf, geddit?) and struck Tsathoggua in the head.

shugo killed

Tsathoggua is made of wood. He cannot be hurt by mere foam. Angered, Tsathoggua unleashes The Eldritch boomstick from Out of Time to finish off Shugo.

Thus bound by elastic bands, Shugo the seal is unable to use his flippers and drowned in the deep, black seas. THE END!

The melee lasted almost a week but after a long and prolonged attack, with heavy casualties on both sides, Tsathoggua emerges, victorious!

Tsathoggua is happy. Tsathoggua is so pleased he’s positively croaking with malignant joy.

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19 thoughts on “The Chronicles of Tsathoggua”

  1. Naoko: Hehe! Ya, with Joyce’s Starscream! πŸ™‚
    Joyce: Ya lor, it started out quite innocently and I got into the whole thing, so it’s quite fun. Creative, stimulates the gray matter. πŸ™‚
    I’m coming back next week.

  2. waiChing: Heh! Thanks! I had an Inspiration (TM) for this post. πŸ™‚
    Michael (Mike): Tsathoggua vs Shugo is over…but there might be others in the future with different characters. πŸ™‚

  3. It is creepy. By the end of reading this,
    “Tsathoggua is happy. Tsathoggua is so pleased he’s positively croaking with malignant joy.”
    I heard toad croaked for the first time outside my hostel.

  4. kamen: Yeah, we work really long hours so you gotta have a bit of fun or you’ll go bonkers with the hours we’re pulling. πŸ™‚
    Besides, it’s good for stimulating creativity too.
    See ya tomorrow! πŸ™‚

  5. Dude, that was great. ( of course, now everyone knows what software engineers do to occupy their time). Here is a related ( and terrible) joke. A seal waddles in to a bar, jumps up on a stool. The bartender says What will you have? Anything but a Canadian Club, says the seal. ( yeah I know, awfull). Hope you are well, HB. Thanks for the laugh. God Bless. Tom

  6. But is Shugo really finished? Many fans demmand a sequel, HB. Kind of like the Harry Potter books and movies. ( which I confess, have seen every one). There are offically 2 more movies to go, but I predict a last one, called harry potter and the boatload of money.

  7. shit, hb, if george lucas can do it , why not you. All you lack is a sound track of emotinal music. ( think titanic, star wars, gladiator, or any killer flick. What did they have? what do you remember? Music. If i say fith, who comes to mind. Be– wats his name ? tom

  8. what the… lol. this is a move away from your usual postings, haha.
    didn’t think of you as one for the cthulhu mythos. does make you think what gnarly stuff lovecraft was taking back then to be coming up with such imaginations. or are they visions in his dreams? hmmm…
    Anyways i’ll take Nyarlathotep over Tsathoggua any day =)

  9. tom Robinson: Heh! I’m not in tech anymore, I kinda switched career paths last year when I went into Corporate Communications when I got out of rehab. πŸ™‚
    eiling: Haha! It’s fun la. πŸ™‚
    tom r: There will be a sequel! πŸ™‚
    Shirley Snow: Cheers! πŸ™‚
    seth.frostheart: I read somewhere that HP Lovecraft died of a disease that had all the hallmarks of syphilis. πŸ˜‰
    He’s also an all around off character from what I read from his letters.
    Jhnhth: It was a very, very busy day actually, just made time for it by coming in early and eating lunch in the office. πŸ™‚


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