I love my dad

dad

I guess a lot of people would consider it a less-than-masculine trait to express feelings of affection towards someone as “uncool” as a parent. I don’t really care though – my dad is my greatest inspiration in life. He embodies agape – unconditional love. He lives his life with very solid moral principles.

um

My dad came from an underprivileged family. He didn’t have much to work with but managed to put himself through university by working hard for two years. He believed in education – so much so that he was the first Chinese to graduate with honors in Chemistry from UM (University Malaya – it was quite prestigious back in the days).

wedding

He got job offers from Shell as soon as he graduated, but he turned down the high paycheck coz he wanted to make a difference. He wanted to educate. He enrolled in a teaching college and worked his way up, rank and file, to become a principal of the biggest high school in Sibu.

family

I remember travelling with him when I was a kid. He made it a point to save up for at least one annual family vacation on his meager teacher’s salary. He believed in sacrifice – I cannot imagine how hard it must have been for him to put two (2) of his kids through university. He just wanted the best for me and my sister.

nz trip

I was shipped off to Christchurch, New Zealand when I was 15, together with my sister (she’s 2 years older – I only have one sibling) for high school and despite that disastrous incident, he still held on to one thing…he had faith in me and believes that I am a good person and would make the right choices in life.

nz

Let me elaborate…I fell in with a gang in NZ and had to beat a hasty retreat after an unfortunate incident where one person was seriously injured during a home invasion. It wasn’t a robbery, it was a gang related attack which I was privy to (and participated in). Unfortunately, I didn’t know that the goal was to actually attempt to take the life of the other party.

To cut a long story short, the person whom we attacked nearly died and we got a text message the next day from the leader to lay low. Several of us decided to fly back home. I was one of the lucky ones…we made it out. The rest were arrested and sentenced from 2-20 years in jail for assault.

pbb

My dad knew I was in some kind of trouble since I didn’t want to go back to NZ so he arranged a path for me to go to Australia instead. He never pushed me for details; he never pried into my private life. He knew I a drug user and despite that, loved me the best that he can.

pengetua cemerlang

There is one incident that stands out in my mind. I was just a teenager and on IRC (remember that?) and since he’s the principal of the biggest school in Sibu, some dudes started thrash talking about him.

amn

I got sooooo pissed off that I grabbed a parang from the back of my house and drove straight out with a challenge for that gang to meet me at Pedada. My dad actually woke up and he wondered what I was doing. I told him I was out to meet some friends. This was at 2 am mind, so I don’t think he believed me…but I went alone, with my edged weapon, ready to take on any amount of people who defiled his name.

album

They never showed up. >.<

dear%20aries

I also remember the time when I attempted to kill myself, and the psychiatrist subdued me with an unknown substance (it’s not a benzodiazepine – I’m seriously super tolerant so it’s gotta be something else, something much stronger) so much that I fell asleep on the wheel chair from ICU to SGH (where they intended to bring me to the famous psychiatrist hospital dubbed 7th Mile by Kuching people).

You know, I was so groggy that I couldn’t answer their questions and slept the entire night.

hb suicide stitch

When I woke up at 7 am on suicide watch, my dad and my mom waltzed into the hospital ICU with a look of concern on their faces. I felt sad, nay, devastated at the grief I had caused them. My dad didn’t say anything, he didn’t judge, he didn’t lecture.

graduate

He just pulled me into a bear hug and said:

I’m glad you’re alive. I don’t know what I would have done without you.

group kl

Yes, he is balding. Yes, he lacks height. However, he is MY BIOLOGICAL FATHER and I would give my life for him.

He’ll do the same for me, without even a nanosecond to think.

dad bday dad mom

…and that’s why I’m nominating him instead of someone I barely know.

Do you know someone who stands up to challenges in life against all odds? Nominate the unsung heroes at Honda – Our Challenging Spirit.

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92 thoughts on “I love my dad”

  1. HB,
    Your Dad sounds like an awesome guy (kind of like my Dad), and I also know that I’m very lucky to feel the same way that you do about your Dad, because many people don’t have good parents like we do.
    I have also done things that worry, concern, and annoy my Dad, but he keeps on loving me, I just wish everyone could have dedicated parents like the ones we’ve had.
    Anyway great post HB! πŸ™‚
    (P.S. I plan to be an active poster on this site again because I really enjoy your blog it’s one of the few I read. I just hope I can keep posting once university starts up again this year! )

    Reply
  2. HB,
    Your Dad sounds like an awesome guy (kind of like my Dad), and I also know that I’m very lucky to feel the same way that you do about your Dad, because many people don’t have good parents like we do.
    I have also done things that worry, concern, and annoy my Dad, but he keeps on loving me, I just wish everyone could have dedicated parents like the ones we’ve had.
    Anyway great post HB! πŸ™‚
    (P.S. I plan to be an active poster on this site again because I really enjoy your blog it’s one of the few I read. I just hope I can keep posting once university starts up again this year! )

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  3. Wow, you’ve lived quite a life so far and I’m glad you’re still around for what will be a long rest of it.
    I can appreciate your stories, being that I have had some rough moments as well. I think everyone has, to be honest.
    I think my dad has been the greatest influence in my life too.
    Anyway, before this gets all long and soppy I just wanted to thank you for another honest look into your life, good and bad. Some day when I make it to Malaysia I will seek you out and it will be my honor and privilege to shake your hand and share a drink.
    Take care,
    –Ken

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  4. awwww… yr dad would be so happy reading this. All his sweat and sacrifices is all worth it ;p This should be classified under best of sixthseal.com! πŸ™‚

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  5. δΈ‹δΈ–ε¦‚ζžœζœ‰ζœΊδΌšοΌŒδ½ δΌšθΏ˜θ¦θΏ™δΈͺθ€ηˆΈεœ¨η–Όδ½ ε—οΌŸε¦‚ζžœθ¦οΌŒεŽŸε› δ½•εœ¨οΌŒε¦‚ζžœδΈθ¦οΌŒεŽŸε› εˆδΈΊδ½•οΌŸ
    Salute to your father.

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  6. I cried when I reached this : “I’m glad you’re alive. I don’t know what I would have done without you.”
    it’s exactly what my dad would say to me if he could shed away his ego. But I know he expresses it in his very own way.
    A good one HB – appreciate your sharing of your family with us.

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  7. very touching indeed. I remember and respect Mr.Poh as the great principal during my sec school years. btw, my 1st comment ever since 2005

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  8. HB, very nice entry to your father. Lost my dad over 6 years ago. I can understand now why you left New Zeland now. I almost got in trouble by starting a gang to beat somebody up after school. Lucky my sister Amy told mom and mom report to school about it.
    I got pull in office with other person I was going to beat up and resolved matter. All I got bad record of it still minor. Mom did the right thing or person could end up in hospital and I kicked out of school.

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  9. HB, very nice entry to your father. Lost my dad over 6 years ago. I can understand now why you left New Zeland now. I almost got in trouble by starting a gang to beat somebody up after school. Lucky my sister Amy told mom and mom report to school about it.
    I got pull in office with other person I was going to beat up and resolved matter. All I got bad record of it still minor. Mom did the right thing or person could end up in hospital and I kicked out of school.

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  10. If there is a poll, I would vote this one as your BEST post ever. Yes, your dad’s a good man, a very nice man…and you’re a good son who loves him a lot. We all know that.

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  11. HB,
    I must admit that i envy you. there arent many Dad’s who would stick with us after what ‘WE’ve’put them through. I above all think i understand this more than others as i’ve been down the exact same ‘road’ as you have. ( i must admit I was sad to see you leave Green Pastures )
    My hope is that one day mine would find the heart to forgive me for the pain caused and for the kind of life i had.
    Reading your blog gives me some hope that no matter how much we’ve fucked up , there’s always a chance.
    Still hope to catch up with you someday

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  12. HB,
    You look exactly the same when you were a kid! hahaha
    You have a super cool dad and I do enjoy reading yr blog. Yr blog is one of the incredibly inspiring blog. Catch up with u soon ok !
    cheers

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  13. Wow, UM graduate during your dad’s time? That is really something!
    I still remember the time we met in Open Air in Kuching. Your dad called you, and you told him “I am eating dinner with fish fish…” then you ended with “I love you”. So naturally. I was really envy.

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  14. Judging from your heartfelt, touchy post, you have a great family. Don’t do anything that would hurt them. Parents are great. While we think we are matured enough to make decisions, we would always remain their baby.

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  15. A very touching story. I love my dad too. Sometimes I feel that I didn’t love him as much as he deserves.
    Good news is, I still have the change to and i definitely will. Thanks!

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  16. Love this post – show ur appreciation of your wonderful Dad before it’s too late. Good stuff, HB.You were a cute lil tyke, weren’t you? And your sister is just gorgeous. Thanks for sharing your family story with me – a silent reader, usually.

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  17. interesting post… didn’t know the details of what u did in nz till now… there has been a lot of rumors about your family in school…. but frankly speaking, i am afraid of your dad till this day. and i have been out of school like 4 years already maybe old habit…. πŸ˜€ love your dad during his reign over the school. πŸ˜€

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  18. ok.. seriously.. i just start to read your blog few days ago, so i dont know much about u..
    And i was actually thinking “WOW.. ur life is damn happening”, it’s like story that will only show in TV when read through this post!
    U got a really nice dad though~ =)
    The best gift for your parents is actually LOVE YOURSELF! Dont ever try to do stupid things like cut your wrist, =_____=”, not painful one meh??

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  19. ur dad is really awesome.he understand people instead of raising the voice:)
    my dad is almost like him.
    he let us do what we want because he said
    “it doesnt matter,at least u know the result after trying”

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  20. I have been following your blog/ website for quite a few years, HB, but that was the most … best… touching…. entries you have ever done. Dads ( and Moms) are great. Speack later, got to go pick up hay, just know. God Bless, Tom.

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  21. Haying is done for a while. But as a guy who has no axe to grind, , has anyone ever told you that you look exactly like your Dad? in the old pics of him. you look like brothers ( twins)just seperated by a generation.Even though a half a world away, I wish your Dad, could have met my Dad (now gone). They shared the same values, it seems.( my dad was the forst of 8 to finsish High school and go onto college) ( Do right, try your best, but do not hesitate to forgive, love your family, hey quit with the mushy stuff, ok? Be a man, which means do the best you can, and impart good values to your kids, but love them unconditionaly, also.) ( and it means not saying ” Damn, another tie for fathers day). My Dad is gone now, and so is my Mom. ( that is another story, entirely, She came from Bristol England to the US, via Costa Rica). Both gone now. I planted them it the dirt behind our ancestoral church, here in WNC. ( when I say ancestoral, the church WAS establishied in about 1872, but has burned down so many times… The current one was built about 1955. So much for ancient methodisim. Moms church in Bristol was St mary redcliffe, aka 1300, but she liked it over here better. Thank God for good parents. Like Gerrison Kellior said, You sit tall in the saddle, and become nearsighted, couse you got to let your kids make some of the own mistakes you did. But you still love them. Tom.

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  22. umm. just to let you how bizzare things get around here ( a farming coumunity, in western North Carolna, USA, as about as far back in the sticks as you can get, OK?) Me and a friend went for a pack of a couple packs of cigarettes this morn ( about 9 am, est) ( pk some beer also,for tonight) while traveling down the road to the store, we came upon a coat, hoodie, and futher , a pair of jeans, and yet further, a pair of socks. Ther was no blood, at all. It just appears some person divested themself of their clothes last night, while walking down the road. Weird, huh? Pray for me, and Ill pray for you. Be some strange stuff going on. ( well, i went swimming in a pool in texas, in 82, but I kept my pants on. Cannot drink tecota beer or tequilia to this day. But this was wierd. tom.

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  23. Dear HB,
    I think it’s unfair and selfish of you to attempt suicide after all the things your dad had done for you.
    I hope that when you ever have the thought of suicide again, to think hard, of all the love ones around you who would be so heart broken.

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  24. Hello HB,
    You must be surprised to receive this comment as I have never left any comment on your blog before. My friend passed your blog’s address to me and I have been following your blog since then ( quietly ). I’m also from Methodist secondary school but a few years senior than you. I know your dad very well, and maybe he knows me too as I was the naughtiest student around. I have to say your dad’s office was like my second classroom, been called up by him and got beaten by him almost every single week. He used to call me a ” loser” and said I will never suceed in anything ( in front of all my classmates). I never blamed him on what he did and said to me till today. I paid him a visit few years ago just before he retired, he was surprised to see me, maybe because I didnt ended up as what he thought I would. HB, I heard a lot of bad things about you. In fact I think you and me are almost the same, just that I dont have the courage to kill myself πŸ™‚ I believe everybody needs to be given a 2nd chance. I considered myself lucky to have a good father, a father who is very strict and very conservative but never gave up on his son ( exactly the same like your father ). To be honest, I never judge a person by what people told me, I believe you are a good guy, if possible I want to meet you and have a drink with you. I will be in KL for the next two days, give me a call if you are free ( 0178112727 )

    Reply
  25. very touching…eyes well up =.= as if im ur daddy reading this liddat T-T
    i especially lurve,
    “I’m glad you’re alive. I don’t know what I would have done without you”
    i lurve my daddy too!

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  26. bigwillie: He is an awesome person! πŸ™‚
    I love him to bits.
    Cheers buddy and it’s good to see you again!
    Mellissa: Thanks! Eh, really? I thought I look very different. πŸ™‚
    KY: Haha! Indeed. πŸ™‚
    pirut: Thanks! If I’m even half the man my dad was, I believe I’ll be a good father too. πŸ™‚
    Ken D.: Cheers buddy, it’ll be my privilage to share a drink with you too! πŸ™‚
    Lau Ung Ing: Thanks!
    chefmel: Hehe! Okay, I’ll put it in that category too. Thanks Mel! πŸ™‚
    teo: Cheers!
    zagary: Thanks!
    victor: Appreciate it buddy!
    Mike: Cheers, story of my life. πŸ™‚
    Shirley Snow: Thanks! πŸ™‚
    tamstar: Cheers for that. It’s just how I feel towards my dad. πŸ™‚
    Anthea: Heh! Appreciate the kind comments! πŸ™‚
    Cheryl: Yeah, it was a bad point in my life. I’m glad to know your dad expresses it in his own way. Cheers Cheryl! πŸ™‚
    joy: Thanks!
    Aaron: Yeah, she is. πŸ™‚
    e: I think it was the in thing back in the days. πŸ˜‰
    vincent: Thanks buddy! Appreciate the kind words. πŸ™‚
    foodcrazee aka mike: Indeed. Time to return the favor. πŸ™‚
    nicksuneo: Cheers mate! πŸ™‚
    Vickie: I’m sorry to hear that. I’m glad you got out of it fine. πŸ™‚
    suituapui: Cheers my friend! πŸ™‚
    chunsiang: You mean for next year?
    Darren: Indeed, and that is evolution in its own way. πŸ™‚
    christock: Cheers mate! πŸ™‚
    sylvia: Thanks!
    dragonfly: Indeed they do!
    Richard Goh: Yeah, I’ve heard about your experiences back in rehab. Would be nice to catch up again. πŸ™‚
    mars: Really? I thought I look totally different. πŸ™‚
    Okay, catch up soon! πŸ™‚
    hitomi: Must. Eat. Less.
    eiling: Thanks Eiling!
    fish fish: You have excellant memory! πŸ™‚
    Yeah, I remember that too. πŸ™‚
    benny: Cheers buddy! πŸ™‚
    Kiran: Indeed, my friend. πŸ™‚
    Tian Chad: Yup, I did my best this time I went back. πŸ™‚
    princess: Thanks Kamen! πŸ™‚
    Naoko: Yeah, he’s a solid all around nice guy. πŸ™‚
    Jess: Heh! I’m sure he reads my blog. πŸ™‚
    crappy booze: Yeah, I know what you mean. All the best buddy! πŸ™‚
    tzia: Thanks!
    Grace: Cheers! I hope you’ll be one. I’m sure you will. πŸ™‚
    kate: Thanks kate! Appreciate the kind comments! πŸ™‚
    clement: Yeah, a lot of rumors flying around back then…most of them untrue.
    debra fong: Haha! Okay, I promise I won’t. πŸ™‚
    dolly: Yeah, I won’t do it again. I was going through a difficult time at that point of my life.
    Did something stupid, but I’m glad I’m okay. Cheers! πŸ™‚
    Jeff: Cheers mate! πŸ™‚
    whimsicaljottings: I’m sorry to hear that. :S
    caihong lummie: Very wise words indeed. πŸ™‚
    tom r: Thanks my friend. Always good to hear from you. πŸ™‚
    Anonymous from NZ: Yeah, I know that now. πŸ™‚
    Hazel (prettyhazy): Heh! Thanks! πŸ™‚
    Michael Tiong: Hey, we’re kindred souls. I’m glad we both turned out fine. Let’s have a drink when you’re in KL next. πŸ™‚
    imantulen: Thanks! I hope so too.
    annant: Cheers to that buddy! πŸ™‚
    matt: Thanks! πŸ™‚

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  27. I like this post πŸ™‚
    I wanna do also. How exactly do I nominate but do it on my blog? Coz I went to the website link but looks like have to nominate there.

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  28. God Bless Methodist Dads. And cops. I wrecked his nice car, 68 charger, with a 383, could forsure beat a cammro with a 427. ( and I did) After pulling it ( and me and my friends) out off the ditch, He said, it is just a car, you know. Glad you are well, but leave my car alone, from now on. tom

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  29. dawn: Thanks Dawn! You can just surf over to the Honda site and nominate from there. You can only nominate from their site but feel free to write a post about soemone you feel is deserving. πŸ™‚
    tom r: Amen to that, my friend. Pun intended. Heh! I love your dad, sounds like a cool bloke indeed. πŸ™‚

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  30. also, not to make light, of anyones pain or suffering, but I never heard of Methotists beating kids. I guess there could be and aberation, and that is wrong, and againstst every thing I know of this church. If any thing, we were allowed a bunch of free range. That is why many return, like a bird, horse, cow, fish or even dog or cat, set free, comes home. but just mostly to the love of God. Sorry, but it pisses me off, to think that some will take advantage of the innocent, or ill informed. Sorry, but that irritates me, to think that someone might use the church for their own ends. I’d kill em. and that is definetley NOT what Jesus would not have me do. Sorry. tom

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  31. useded to be some of my family members were KKK. Not me, any more nor woyld I teach any kids that hateful stuff. I have found we all bleed red, and it is imprortant do that as infreqwntly as possible. tom

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  32. tom r: My mom used to beat me when I was a kid but she wasn’t a staunch Methodist then.
    KKK? No worries, that’s the past. I’m sure a lot of families have skeletons in their closet. It’s all good as long as it’s not propagated down the line. Cheers, my friend. πŸ™‚

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  33. hahah
    u were a gangsta in CHCH????
    and nerly killed sum1 and evry1 went 2 jail for 20 yrs just for assault?haha
    come chch show where the real pai kia is at

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  34. never too late dude.. sorry to hear about the ordeal you had to go through in school.. it’s always going to be either or when we are kids.. now that we’re grown up we realise good things and bad things come and go.. and things aren’t so black and white in life.. anyway you’re on the right path and i am sure you’ll pull much more enjoyment out of life than most.. the path you took is well documented and perhaps you staved off others from going down the same route.. maybe it’s meant to be that way.. btw, you have a great dad!

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  35. Aaron: Yeah, it’s never too late. It’s like the saying goes, when you’re 18, you wish your dad would just leave you alone, when you’re 28, you listen to your dad, when you’re 38, you realize he’s a great man, when you’re 48 you wish he were here as an advisor but he’s not.
    I have a great dad and I’m lucky to have him. πŸ™‚

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  36. hey. great post on ur dad. i’m from sibu too n from smk methodist too.happen to go to the same church as him as well. ur dad was a great principal and a great guy. he is respected by many.

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  37. Joanne: Thanks Joanne! I appreciate the kind comments. πŸ™‚
    God bless!
    wen pink: Heh! Yeah, but everything I said about my dad is from my heart. I really love him, he’s an all around great guy. If only I can be half the man he is (which I honestly doubt)…

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  38. bro you have an awesome dad. He deserves all the love he can get.
    i’ve been wondering whatever happened to you a few years back.i accidentally found you again 2 days ago and have been reading it all since then I only have acouple of months to go to read it all.
    good luck and strive to be happy.
    best things comes to those who persevere.

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  39. matt: Heh! Yeah something like that. πŸ™‚
    romwell: Yeah, he’s the best! Thanks for the kind comments! Take care mate!

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  40. You know Huai Bin
    During highschool everyone has been laughing behind your dad’s back about what a strict discipliner he was/still is and yet he was totally helpless and controlled by your every action. People sneered at him of what a failure he was to have a son like you. All I can relate to was how great and unconditional your dad’s love is, as of all our parents, to embrace our wrongdoings and still to believe in us.
    You’ve brought his past well out here and even without you doing so, I believe your dad always have faith and is proud of you. Just work hard, love yourself, your life more – that attributes to loving your dad πŸ™‚
    You have a beautiful heart, only which was once lost and fallen – like many. *hugs*

    Reply
  41. Penny: That’s what family is…we love each other and now is my time to care for him. πŸ™‚
    Thanks Penny! Appreciate your kind comments. *hugs*

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