I’m writing this before I board the plane back to KL. I’m hauling back several boxes of my girlfriend’s belongings with me. She’s coming over in a couple of days to work in KL and she’ll be living with me.
I’ll be honest here. I’m feeling more than a little trepidation at the idea. I don’t know how it’s going to turn out. There is a grand total of three (3) serious relationships I’ve been in where the other half moves in with me. The first one happened when I was just in my teenage years – it also happened to be my first real relationship.
Her name was Wendy and it lasted all of six months.
It was all fine and dandy until we moved in together. The relationship lasted longer than that, of course – prior to that, we were practically inseparable. I don’t know why seeing each other day in and day out became so taxing on the relationship.
Familiarity breeds contempt?
It always starts with the little things – small issues that becomes the flash point of every argument. The same old problems brought up again and again. It’s something akin to cabin fever…I’ll even go so far to say it’s like prison, being cooped up in a small place with the same bunch of people 24/7.
It never ends well.
The second relationship (Louisa – the very same person that still resides as a tattoo on my left forearm) also went that way. We were together for YEARS. I graduated from Australia, came back to KL and moved in with her.
BAM! The relationship went downhill almost immediately.
However, we tried to work things out as adults – giving each other space, making concessions and compromises but in the end it still didn’t work out. We made a last ditch attempt to save the relationship by me moving to Kuching (it was just as well that I got a really good job offer there) and it was all good for a while…and then we broke up.
The third and last serious relationship where my girlfriend moved in was when I came to KL again. I came with Doris in tow and maybe it’s the nostalgic rose tinted glasses but I felt that I could have done things better and maybe it could have worked out if I had not turned into a complete asshole.
I’ll admit that much. I was a total asshole to her. I was an ungrateful son of a bitch who didn’t care about someone that loved me that much. I loved her too but I got too caught up with myself to realize that I’ve been taking her for granted. She’s a very nice girl and perhaps things would have been different if I had been the person I am now.
…or perhaps not.
The thing is, I’ve learned a lot from all these experiences. It made me take a good, hard look at myself and I didn’t like what I was seeing. I have been making amends since then.
I’m no saint, I’m not saying that I became the poster boy for abstinence after that. Hell, no.
…but I never did get into another serious relationship after Doris until now.
It’s funny isn’t it? When you’re single, all you want to do is get in a relationship. When you’re actually in one, the idea of being alone and free to do anything you want sounds pretty appealing.
The grass is always greener on the other side and all that.
However, I really want to make this work. I don’t think I’ll make the same mistakes again and I’ll try very hard to keep the relationship alive. I know my own weaknesses and I hope I am more patient and understanding now. I’ll give it my all.
I hope that the fourth time’s the charm.