Meluahkan perasaan dalam Facebook

I don’t know…is love supposed to make you feel this bad? It’s a Friday night and my bros are out but I begged off saying that I have a touch of food poisoning.

…which is partially true but not entirely the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

I’m greatly troubled with my It’s Complicated (TM) relationship. I can’t seem to get her off my mind and there are…complications which makes me feel a rather strange and unusual emotion (!!!) – sadness, loss, pining, and all that romantic crap.

I guess I’m trying too hard, which is a mistake I should have learned by now. But I’m really into her and I want this to work out.

I don’t know, there’s a lot of issues that I’m not at liberty to say and I wish I could be like Barney and go “When I feel bad, I stop feeling bad and feel AWESOME instead“.

…but that doesn’t work in real life.

I’m probably 40% sick and 60% lovesick (probably the wrong term, it’s fear, uncertainty and doubt, very karma feelings which I never feel when it comes to girls) and it is a damn strange emotion for me I’m supposed to be this badass player and feelings like these are only experienced by sorry, self-pitying, pussy-whipped boys.

It’s karma, I tell you.

I’m supposed to go out partying with my bros and feel awesome.

…but instead I’m at home, thinking of her and feeling like crap.

P/S – My sister actually reads my Facebook feed quite religiously and starts every morning with a clumsy attempt at bonding by saying “Hey, I saw on your Facebook that (insert stuff that I posted)“.

Please do not do that Yih Jia. I do not wish to discuss this matter, least of all with you. It’s just going to make me very uncomfortable and it also ruins my “Huai Bin is invincible, an veritable emotional fucking cornerstone when it comes to girls” image. so I’ll appreciate it very much if you could pretend you didn’t read this. kthxbai

P/P/S – Seriously, don’t talk to me about it sis. It’ll be very awkward and I probably would deny I even wrote this.

bowmore enigma

That was a re-post of something I wrote on Friday night. I still feel less-than-awesome so I’m putting this up and heading to bed. It’s verbatim from the Facebook page so I’ll insert a photo in lieu of writing 1,000 words. That is a bottle of Bowmore Enigma, a 12-year-old single malt Scotch whiskey from Islay. I got it for about SGD 58 from duty free – the Enigma expression is a travel exclusive.

Back to the post:

Has anyone ever told you that you look like a star?
It seems like everybody’s got something I have not – a reason not to die.

– NOFX

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29 thoughts on “Meluahkan perasaan dalam Facebook

  1. i didn’t read the post but i’m interested in the bottle of scotch.
    what is a travel exclusive and is it different from a regular 12 yo?

    • Bowmore is an Islay malt, have really gotten into the peaty taste of Islay single malt Scotch whiskeys since I tasted it a couple of months ago.

      A travel exclusive means it’s not available at retail shops outside – it’s only sold in airport duty free and other ports of entry.

      The 12 year old Bowmore Enigma is different from the regular 12 year old expression – sherry casks. :D

  2. Mate, didn’t you say the same thing around the same time last year? I think you have to decide where you want to go. You can’t switch off the player mode and be in nice guy mode and vice versa anytime you feel like it. Maybe you can, I don’t know.

    Thing is, you freely admit you’re a player but you want to be a “nice guy” for this girl? Maybe it sounds romantic to you that you’re willing to give up your wild ways to be with this girl. That’s not what she’s thinking.

    Sorry, maybe I’m wayyyy off track here. but girls tend to make excuses when they don’t see you anything more than a friend

    • Yeah, it’s something that you have to consciously do. I have decided to stop being a player and be prepared for a real relationship.

      Well, as for the other bit, it’s not like that at all. The feeling is mutual.

      We’ll see how things go. Cheers! :)

    • I love it! The peaty flavors of Islay is starting to really grow on me.

      The Bowmore Enigma expression has a slight sea salt aftertaste which you can *really* taste. Very nice. :)

  3. which gal are u talking abt? aiya just a gal, anywhere can find, it always get better and better,dun waste so much time on it la bro. huggs

  4. Hey! You said you’re cutting down on your alcohol intake! Take it easy, mate. What will be will be – the world will keep on turning and life goes on. You can’t change yourself or others, you just learn to give and take, maybe a little bit more or perhaps a little bit less but it takes both hands to clap – one does not do it alone…and when people find that they cannot do that, they just have to move on.

    • Yeah, I am, I don’t really drink much nowadays but I still drink the good stuff like single malt Scotch whiskey. :)

      Can’t pass up the chance for duty free goodness.

      Thanks for the advice mate, will definitely keep that in mind. :D

  5. HB, I don’t know if I’m in any position to advise you but to share with you, I met my current love in Facebook and he’s a Singaporean. We managed long distance from the very beginning and I followed my feelings and guess what? I moved to SG. We had differences but we managed them and got stronger.

    Therefore, don’t be too afraid of how you feel as it is only natural! Go with the flow and what your heart tells you. You only live once, so make it count! Good luck! :)

    • Hey, that’s great news Fiona! :)

      It gives me great hope indeed. I’m going with my heart.

      Thanks for the words of support and advice! :D

    • You don’t know me. You don’t know her.

      You don’t even dare to use a real name, so I’ll take what you say and totally ignore it. :)

  6. You’re bipolar. You don’t have a full-time job. You can never raise your own kids. Your liver/kidney is fucked from drug use and you’re still a junkie. You’re an emotional, medical and financial liability to the other half.

    Look in the mirror. You don’t deserve her. You have no future with her. She deserves better.

    You’re just feeding your own ego, loneliness and lust. If she’s your reason to live, then you have all the more reason to die.

    • Haha! Well, there you go.

      That shows how little you know me. You’re like one of the kids who watch TV and think the characters they’re playing are really how the actors are in real life. :)

      You’re too funny, like I said, you don’t know me, you don’t know her.

      You’re just repeating stuff that you’ve read or heard.

      Ask yourself this, my gullible little friend – How much of it is true? ;)

      P/S – A slight hint, you’re already wrong on the bipolar bit, that was a very old excuse circa 2003-2005 I used to get meds.

  7. hi there..u’d broken up ady with the girl who recently move in with u? the one from sibu yes? the one u celebrate valentine’s day 2011 together.. no wonder it’s different girl ud a valentine’s day together this year. hehehe.

    wah..she’s so lucky girl cos make u feel that way..when u gonna blog about her? love how u blog about every girl in your life here :)

    i simply enjoying it..ur blog is like a serial drama. macam CSI ;p hehe.

    cheers!

    • Hello there!

      Hmm…you mean Jeanie? Yeah, we broke up quite a long time ago, before the middle of last year. We went to Hong Kong together after that, we’re still friends. :)

      Well, the girl I’m currently seeing is someone that I somehow fell head over heels with.

      I don’t know how it’s going to work out.

      Thanks for reading! :)

  8. Oooh HB. :( Not good news to hear that “It’s Complicated”. I was so hoping this girl will be everything you’ll want in a partner MINUS the complicated part because you should be happy!

    Still, I’m a strong believer in if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. So if it’s meant to be, the relationship will be so much sweeter and more meaningful after you’ve weathered through the uncertainty.

    Good luck! Sending some good luck vibes to you from my side of the world.

    • Well, things might be turning around Jyannis! :)

      I guess everything and everyone has emotional baggage. Things get more complicated the older you get.

      Indeed, I believe in that too, if it’s meant to be then it’ll be all the better after we’ve been through the tough part.

      Thanks for all the support, it really is much appreciated. :D

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