Eternity Moment

eternity moment

Eternity Moment. The exquisite CK female fragrance I bought for you…

eternity meth

Eternity Moment. The toxic old crystal methamphetamine I bought for myself…

eternity terumo

I messed up again. The siren call got too strong and I had to chase
that high. Eternity in a moment…or one moment in eternity…to be
faster, stronger, better than everyone.

eternity terumo syringe

I still want out though. I always want out. I don’t want to be stuck
in this compulsive cycle. I want to quit. I will quit. My
methamphetamine use has affected me in everyway especially when I binge
and go on a run like this, not drinking, not eating, not sleeping. I
can’t hold it together anymore.

eternity terumo syringe meth

I can’t be like other people, who can use it for a day or three and
then stop while eating proper meals. I guess my brain chemistry is just
wired different. I think the new term for it is Reward Deficiency
Syndrome (RDS). I just go on and on to chase that high…the one that’s
never attainable…but I go for it anyway.

eternity spun psychotic break

I realize that this cannot go on, coz it kills me every time I go on
a meth run. But I’ve said this before and you’ve seen too many promises
broken and broken again. I’ve made a mess out of my life again and I
desperately want to put the pieces back together again. I do know that
I cannot make you happy, as much as I like to. I know you’ve been
sticking with me all this while even though you have your (justified)
doubts about me.

eternity louisa me flashback

I love you, but I’m no good for you. I can’t remember the last time
you were really happy – it must be years. It’s hard for me to lose a
level headed person like you; you have always been the floating buoy in
the turbulent deep seas that I always swim out to. I can’t be selfish
though…even though you forgive me, there’s too much deceit and guilt
in this relationship. It can prove to be too much to live with…

I’ll miss you and I’ll always love you, my dearest wife. Thanks for being with me all these years…

It’s hard…when the night has come, and the land is dark…
…and the moon is the only light to see.

No, I won’t be afraid. No, I won’t be afraid.
Just as long as you stand by me.

Darling, darling, stand by me…
Stand by me.

OMG, it’s tomorrow!

omg sibu

I have less than 24 hours before I go back to Sibu – time managed to
sneak up on me and it’s Friday evening, and I realize that I haven’t
cleaned my place here (take out the garbage at least, seriously, it’s a
dump over here ;)), neither have I done my laundry, heck, I haven’t
even banked in my paycheck for last month!

Shit, I can’t even go and see my doctor today, coz I’m
exhausted…and it’s very likely (90 percentile range) that I’ll get
involved in an accident. Fatigue kills, ya know. Speed kills too, so
there you go.

Well, my apologies for not updating much these days…I was busy
with work and with the forum. I’ll be going to Sibu tomorrow and I fear
I would not be able to wake up and I’ll miss the flight!

I’m being totally serious here.

I could very well sleep until the evening, it’s possible…

We shall make paper edible and ink taste like fruit!

fruit printer

I just had a divine inspiration from the comments in the Xiao Pa Wang post
[sixthseal.com] by Patrick. We shall make paper edible and ink taste
like food (well, fruits first) instead of tasting like ink! Calling all
angel investors, we are prepared to launch this radical (well, maybe
not so radical) concept to the masses and deploy it as soon as possible!

The idea is to infuse the color ink toners in laser jet printers to
taste like fruits. This will be done by replacing the standard ink with
food coloring and flavoring. Red will taste like strawberries! Blue
will taste like blueberries! Imagine the staggering possibilities!

And that’s just the start; we can have swappable Taste Toners (TM) –
spicy ones, sweet ones, even custom Taste Toners made for certain
cuisines. A “Drinks: Coffee Taste Toner (TM)” will print out cups of
coffee that taste like espressos, cappuccinos etc depending on how dark
you print the shade as. Frappacinos is also possible if you freeze the
paper beforehand. The possibilities are mind boggling!

13 sibu

Okay, on to other more serious matters, I’ll be flying back to Sibu
again later today. It’s part R&R and part work. I have to fix up a
client’s deployment over there, but due to the long Raya holidays, I
can relax a bit too.

kch airport missile

Let’s just hope that the plane won’t be delayed coz the war effort
suddenly decided to load some air to surface missiles en route to
Fallujah on a mission like last time…

That would delay my arrival by hours, if not days. πŸ˜‰

Oh, and I just turned down a 4k job offer in KL. No offence to the
well meaning people who made the offer, and my appreciation goes out to
all of you. However, I’m staying with Huygens Asia. That’s my decision,
coz for some reason or other, I’ve come to think of Huygens Asia as
home and the people working here as family.

Financial drain…

accused statement

The hearing yesterday went alright under the circumstances…there
will definitely be a court case, date undetermined. These things can
drag on and on. I’ve consulted with a lawyer and he said he wouldn’t
want to speculate what charges would be pressed against me. However,
the police officer said it would most likely be a charge that would
carry a fine of up to RM 10,000 or jail.

The problem here lies in the fact that I do not have 10k in savings.
That is four months of my salary. I now see why people choose the “or
jail” part coz in my case RM 10,000 = 4 months wages, not counting
living costs, rent etc. so that could be why jail can be appealing to
those people. However, I would not want to go to jail, so I will pay
the fine.

Please understand that I still cannot talk about this case since
anything I say can be used against me. I’ve already spent a whole lot
of money and I have to spend more for legal representation and court
fines. The good news is, there isn’t a high chance of mandatory jail,
just a huge fine. The bad news is, I don’t have 10k in savings.

My father has kindly offered to pay for the fine when it comes. The
day I have to appear in court has not being determined yet, this shit
can drag on and on, but it’s going to happen soon. Next Thursday, I’ll
know the date. The thing I hate about this is I have been financially
independent since I started working and having to have my father bail
me out really brings me down. I hate that feeling.

I still can’t discuss the facts of the case yet, since anything can
be used against me, but I’ve already spent more than a month’s salary
due to this incident. I don’t want to solicit contributions, but in the
dire financial straits that I’m in…shit, ya know…

I had watched my savings grow and just disappear due to this
unfortunate incident. I would appreciate it if anyone could help me
out. It takes a real blow on my pride to have to ask this from my
readers, and I have to give out one fact of the case just to make
things clear if anyone wants to help me out financially.

I accidentally caused injury to someone. It was unintentional. I honestly didn’t intend for anything like that to happen.

Even though I know I will probably lose most of your support by this
revelation, I still think it’s fair to say that before anyone decides
to contribute. It’s the right thing to do and I’ll appreciate it if
anyone could help lighten my financial burden despite this. It was an
honest accident, I never meant for it to happen…

Please send an email to legalhelp@sixthseal.com if you decide to contribute. These are my account details:

Bumiputra Commerce (BCB)
Account Number: 1115-0066354-52-5
Name: Poh Huai Bin

This is the easiest method to ease my financial burden since you
just need to deposit cash into a BCB teller machine and email me. I
would appreciate any help, no matter the amount, since I honestly can’t
pay a RM 10,000 fine by myself and certainly not with the additional
burden of legal fees…

Thanks in advance for anyone who wishes to do so, and please email me so I can thank you.

I will be flying off to KL in an hour and I won’t be back till Tuesday. It’s a break from all this…I’ll update then.

Take care everyone…

Behold! Hear me rant!

This is directed at no one in particular, but the way I see it, if you’re asking me for a favor,
which I define as something that goes beyond my job scope, but I
willingly took upon coz I want to help you out, at least a simple
“Thank You” would please me.

I’m perfectly happy to draw a Visio diagram while I have a backlog
of my own work to do. I drew that diagram from 7:30 am to 8:00 am,
which is before my stipulated work hours. You wanted to rush
it out, I rushed it for you. This is not my project, but I’m perfectly
willing to help, to do this for the company.

I know people can be busy and caught up with other things, and I’m
not being sensitive here, but saying a simple “Thanks” goes a long way.
It makes people willing to help out the next time. Treating people like
they’re unimportant after the delegation (which is not my project to
begin with, but like I said, I used my private time to draw it) makes
people resentful.

It only takes one second to say “Thank You” and make people happy.

Upper management out there should take note of this. It doesn’t take
long to say it and make people feel appreciated. Good management
already knows that.

Details on Friday

jail 2 years

I’ve been adviced that blogging about it is not a good idea and can
be used against me. I have removed the original post. For those who
read it, thanks for your support. For those who didn’t, the gist of it
is, I’m in a bit of trouble, the hearing is on Friday and I cannot
furnish any details until then, until the case is closed. I am
innocent, like I stated in my statement.

Thanks to Corporal Tina for playing the role of the Good Cop (TM).

Thanks to Mr. Wong for doing more than what’s required of an employer – I owe you one…

…and thanks to all my readers, for praying that everything will turn out okay.

This is my answer

I know you don’t like me to write about our relationship, so I won’t.

veritas and castitas.com is gone.

I willingly deleted all of my drug posts. I will be lying if it
didn’t hurt me to delete all those memories. This will totally ruin the
PageRank and SERPs I’ve worked so hard for. You know how much
sixthseal.com means to me.

I don’t care about those now. I’m doing this willingly. πŸ™‚
I want to know that you’re more important than anything else.

veritas
2002 – 2004
Pioneer and daredevil
May the memory live on…
R.I.P.

Those that will remember me will, and those that will forget, will forget.

I know that this would not be enough, nothing ever will be…but at least it’s a start.

This is a small token of my sincerity, my love.

I will try my best to be the boyfriend that I never was. I will try
my best to do the right thing. I am willing to do that, because you’ve
more than I could wish for.

I choose you, Louisa.
This is my answer.

Black Kingdom: Chapter 3 – Bonding

bonding

I didn’t really get to bond with them until one fateful weekend. It
was during lunch break on Friday when Aaron suggested that we go to
Palladium that night. Palladium is a club in the Christchurch city
which enforces a 21 and above only entry rule due to alcohol being
served. I was fascinated (and slightly apprehensive as well) – I’ve
never stepped foot inside a nightclub before. I’ve always been told
that these places are evil and I shouldn’t ever patronize one.

The years of parental propaganda wrestled with the strangely
attractive notion of doing something “bad”…and it was the latter that
prevailed, albeit with slight tinges of guilt. The others have all been
in there before and assured me that I won’t be asked for ID. I beg to
differ coz I have a rather innocent and young looking face. I would not
pass as a 21 year old unless the bouncers all happen to have a long due
appointment with their optician.

Thus, Aaron got me a fake ID from one of his university friends. The
photograph on the ID does not look like me at all and the name was an
Indonesian name. I had to memorize the name and the birthday. Anyway,
the others told me about the dress code and we arranged to meet in
front of the Riccarton High School gates at around 7 PM. We had planned
to crash at Tom’s house so I brought along a change of clothes in my
backpack as well.

I have never stepped foot into any entertainment venues before
this…tonight was going to change all that. I was looking forward
(with some trepidation) to what my mind’s eye imagined the club would
be like. The four of us met up at the rendezvous point and walked to
Church Corner to catch the bus to the city. We went to have dinner at
what would be our regular haunt in the days to come – the Chinese
eatery near the town square. The wonton was really good and relatively
cheap at NZ$ 6.

It was time to head into the club. I was constantly reminded to walk
in confidently and not to look guilty. There were two bouncers outside
the door of Palladium and I avoided eye contact with them and tried to
walk in nonchalantly behind Aaron…until I heard one of the bouncers
say “Hang on mate, can I see some proof of age please?” The others
stopped with me while I passed the fake ID to the bouncer. He looked at
the card and gave me the once over and asked me what year I was born in.

I faltered before remembering the birth date on the fake ID. “I’m
26, born in 1970”, I replied and tried to look insulted at this
affront. The bouncer raised his eyebrows skeptically and I silently
cursed Aaron for getting a fake ID that puts me 10 years older than I
really am. However, the bouncer just shrugged and handed the card back
to me and waved us inside. I’m in!!! We had a good laugh about how
Asians must look all the same to Caucasians because no one would
mistake an Indonesian for a Chinese.

Palladium was not what I expected…I have been fed with stories
about the sinful debauchery and violence that occurs inside clubs was
expecting it to be some dirty den filled with society rejects. I was
rather surprised to see everyday people in the club – university
students, office workers…normal people. There goes another false
depiction drilled into me since I was young. We secured a table beside
the dance floor and ordered a round of drinks.

I have never had any alcohol before so I sipped my bottle of
Heineken tentatively. We had a bit of a boogie at the dance floor and
after two hours, Ah Boon noticed that I was still holding the
very same bottle, which had barely three small sips taken out of it. He
asked me whether I had bought more drinks and I said it’s the same
bottle from when we came in. He was appalled at the speed (or rather
the lack of it) of my drinking. πŸ˜‰

It was rather funny, now that I think back to it. I told him that I
was afraid of getting drunk and didn’t feel like drinking it anymore. I
handed it to him and he gamely chugged the relatively full bottle down.
I wasn’t inebriated at all…it was just all that propaganda that made
me fear being drunk that prevented me from imbibing the golden amber fluid. I later realized that I have a high alcohol tolerance…

However, that was not true for Tom. He has a very low alcohol
tolerance and was completely inebriated and flushed from just one beer
and one shot of tequila. He kept on saying he felt like throwing up and
later resorted to lying in the fetal position at the plush chairs at
our table and told us to wake him when we leave. We left soon after
that though, coz Tom was complaining that he had a pounding headache.

We went to the 24 hour KFC nearby to get some supper. Tom promptly
threw up and did so again during the taxi ride back to his house. He
immediately fell asleep when he got home and we got some rest too. It
was around 12 PM when we woke up the next day. I had expected that
we’re going to head home. I was still a newbie at that time and one
night was considered a big one then.

However, the others had plans to go play pool at this snooker and
pool outlet in the city called 9 ball. I was wondering whether I should
go or not, since I was pretty tired…I’m not used to sleeping anywhere
other than my own bed so I didn’t get much sleep the night before. I
was intrigued by pool and snooker centers though, coz the propaganda
machine told me it was full of juvenile delinquents so I decided to go
along and see if that was true. Strike two, another parent instilled
horror story disproved.

Ah Boon taught me how to play pool…the setting of the balls, the
way to properly hold the cue, the method of striking without deviating
from the aim, how to hit different spots to manipulate the ball
movement, how to follow through and stop for positioning, about solid
and stripe balls, the angles to hit the balls to pocket them –
basically, the rules of the game for someone who hasn’t played pool
before. I loved it. It helped that the heroin chic looking (in a good
way) girl who manned the counter was really friendly and hot too. πŸ˜‰

It was night when we left and we grabbed some fish and chips to eat while waiting for the bus back.

End of Black Kingdom: Chapter 3 – Bonding

[ List of Characters ]

Next: Black Kingdom: Chapter 4 – Veritas vos liberabit [sixthseal.com].

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...