Fart biscuits

I have been wrecked with The ShitsTM whole day long. I ate 7
eggs last night, coz I felt like eating soft boiled eggs with lots of
pepper and soy sauce. Unfortunately, my body is not used to the prodigious
influx of protein and thus, I felt like I needed to go to the toilet all
day long. I’ve been subjecting my girlfriend to my odiferous farts too.
Speaking of flatulence, I had a tutor when I was in primary school who
told me the process of manufacturing “fart biscuits”. It is done by
putting a biscuit (I hear the Marie variety works particularly well) into
a Milo tin and farting into it, taking care to “clap the lid on as soon as
you fart”. According to him, there is a waiting period of 2 weeks for the
fart to be “absorbed” into the biscuit. After the appropriate time has
elapsed, the biscuit is to be gingerly removed from the Milo tin and
offered to an unsuspecting person. It is said that the original fart’s
odors will be released as soon as the biscuit is bitten into. A delayed
release fart-in-a-biscuit if you will. He also mentioned that if it’s done
right, the biscuit should expand to several times it’s original size,
courtesy of the fart. Even now, I wonder if he’s pulling my leg or if it
recipe really works (minus some embellishments). I’ve never tried it, I
don’t have the patience to wait though the 2 week fermentation period, so
if anyone can verify the authenticity of this recipe, do not hesitate to
mail me about
the details.

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