This is a post by veritas.

meth1em.jpg

Exhibit #1:

I just started my 3500 word due in 9 hours now

but its helluva easy…took an easy sub this semester coz i already
have enough units. hah! anyway i know you’re working nite shift lar, i
read all the entries in your blog already. yeah, i like breakfast, it’s
good, the best, dinner and lunch is terrible though. a group of us used
(snip) every thursday (coz most ppl have fridays free, the smart
one who allocates timetables well do anwyay :p) till morning and then
go for breakfat together, that was crazy and funny, usually 12 of us
will (cut) eat and then hit the bed after that. those were the days…but the scene died down though, a lot of the (blah blah), that was last year but it was fun. don’t anymore though, coz (what’s that again?).
i like vietnamese pho too, i’m with the popular majority who says
mekong has the best. oh ya what hours do you work? i know its nite
shift, i mean from when to when? interested to know, sorry if it’s too
personal. and while we’re on the topic of personal stuff, is that your
full name? (privacy)? I’ve seen those around, not very common though, usually it’s three words, one family and two (revealing personal details, big chunk deleted)
they must be damn disappointed that name didn’t translate into actual
results. ;) i’m not known for having a good acedemic track record,
although i scrape thru. :p there i go talking about myself again,
apologies, blaming it on the meth. =D would like to know your full name
if that’s okay.

anyway, i have to get back to my assignment, heh i wrote a bit
already, do i sound like a spammer or what! too many exclaimation marks
and excessive use of hyperbole. man, i’m having so much fun writing
this…i usually write write write and then go hit amazon.com to pull a
couple of books as my references. :) i find it much easier to write
whatever i want and insert random references into the nonsense i write
(no references = treated as plagarism) and then put up a fake
bibliography with the books from amazon.com. it has always worked and
its so much faster thatn doing research! i’ve already read about all
this stuff beforehand anyway, so i guess that is research, since i
didn’t forget it, it’s right and blah blah. i am so having fun now, had
heaps of meth to override the damn benzo fog. stand well back
people!!!! here’s comes meth!

meth: i eat mental fogginess for breakfast!!!

clonazepam: oh, we’re so fucked…

(sounds of flesh being ripped apart and disturbing slurping noises)

meth: i live here now! what’s that you’re working on dude? feh,
easy, let me help, we’ll be done in no time! no time i say! you hear
me???? no time!!!

me: *swoons* you never have let me down. kiss me!

meth: technically i am in your bloodstream, so i’m running through your lips as well

me: oh you taste so good

meth: why thank you

me: bitter actually, but i’ve come to associate that with the rush

meth: yes, bitter is good eh?

me: very good! clonazepam, you in there?

(silence)

meth: i er…took the liberty of taking care of those assignment killers

me: i see, yeah you’ve told me before

meth: yes i did

me: ok

meth: yeah

me: don’t use conversation fillers

meth: ok

me: that’s another one. just shut up and help me with this.

meth: will do! (silently thinking: you just wait…i’ll show you for
talking to me like this…i’ll oxidise this, and this and this. haha!
there goes your dopamine receptors)

me: hey wats that you’re mumbling about?

meth: er…nothing! (thinking: can he really hear me?)

me: yes, duh!

meth: sorry

me: i know about the dopamine thing, prepared to take that one anyway

meth: okay

me: fillers

meth: sorry

me: its okay, just work harder

meth: will do!

me: enough jibba jabba

meth: cunt

me: i heard that

meth: i know

me: you want me to take a megadose of benzos?

meth: you wouldn’t do that, the assignment is due tomorrow

me: hmph…but after that…

meth: i’m just shaking in my boots

me: you won’t be so cocky when that 6 mg clonazepam gang comes after you

meth: pffft, i’ll send them back in a hellbasket (thinking: oh boy)

me: i heard that too. such is the life of meth eh?

meth: yeah, we don’t live very long…thanks for the urinary alkalinizers dude, that’s like a drink from the fountain of youth

me: no problem, we take care of each other round here

meth: appreciate that. i got you back too

me: like hell you do

meth: apart from the dopamine thing that is, erm…thats nothing, you’ll be fine

me: no i won’t, but that’s cool, just don’t give me a stroke, a
heart attack, a brain aneurysm, or anything like that and everything is
sweet

meth: no promises, but i’ll try my very best. you have my word.

me: thats wat you said last time too

meth: hey, give a dog a bad name and hang it and all that…

me: okay, enough of this, lets get to work

Here’s what i’m up to so far if you’re interested (which you’re probably not):

(my assignment bits was here)

that’s it! :) Take care (name) and have an absolutely wonderful day! <- another example of my excessive hyperbole use

veritas

That’s an email I wrote during the end of last month, while
tweaked…verbose and full of irrelevant details. Yeah, I’ve resorted
to posting old emails because I don’t have time to write, although
there’s heaps of things I want to update you all about. Indiscriminate
and heavy editing has been applied to the original email to remove
identifying portions. The recipient is someone on the blogs link, play
“Guess the Blogger” if you want. It’s not really that hard, but please
don’t give me away. :)

Clue: None. There’s too many in the email as it is.

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