Methamphetamine booster shots

Disclaimer: This is a really old post from 1906. The effects described within have long since passed. It also coincidentally the events that led to the ICU trip. πŸ˜‰

meth iv

I decided to experiment (in 1906) with ideal dosages for booster shots on re-dosing on IV methamphetamine. I have found that 10 cc is the ideal booster shot (for me) taken every 5 minutes to maintain (close to) the original rush.

meth iv filled

I fill the syringe with 40cc – 60 cc of methamphetamine for the initial shot. I use just enough water to dissolve it for my first injection of methamphetamine to get the dizzying rush of dopamine and norephedrine synapses firing in the brain and re-dose with just 10 cc of meth after the initial dose.

meth iv inject

I am aware that smoking methamphetamine produces a quicker onset, but nothing beats the exhilarating rush of injecting that just plain knocks you flat on your ass, nearly throwing up, trying to stand up and falling down again on really pure methamphetamine crystals. It’s the closest thing to heaven.

I just like filling the Terumo syringe with methamphetamine and drawing some water up before using the cold shake method to dissolve the crystals and then boost the meth. It’s quite an experience, something I’ll always remember.

…even 100 years later. πŸ˜‰

]]>’s first video post – Episode I: Shadow People

This is the first full video blog. I am basically doing a monologue
about my day. In the grand tradition of, we tend to do
things differently. While others strive to present only their most
aesthetically pleasing self to the readers, culling out all “ugly”
photos and only inserting the “good ones”…we, on the other hand,
present it like it is, just one take, and its uploaded. Thus, be
prepared to see a rather unflattering version of me in this pilot
episode. πŸ™‚

shadow people

Download: Episode I: Shadow People [].
Requires Apple Quicktime. Going to the “Movie” drop down menu bar and choosing “Fill Screen” would be more optimal for viewing.

Yeah, that is what I look like after multiple day runs…strung out, scattered and definitely not pleasant company.

Indiscriminate…I’d rather be elite
I’ll choose my own shit scene
Unsubstantiated rumors flown are true
I’m here for me, not you

Nonconglomerate…I mean what I say
I’m not your fucking scape
Though, apparently I’ve alienated some
It seems my job’s half done

So let me present to you, the first episode – Shadow People.

(coz I know I sound incoherent)

Hey, you’re watching and this is – a video post.

I’ve become too tired to write, and…this is how long my hair actually is now.

I keep it long on one side, probably the last time I’ll see such hair, because I have hereditary male pattern baldness.

I feel like shit, it’s been a couple of days without sleep…and I went to the doctor’s today, got some benzos, that’s good.

By the way, I’m just pretending to smoke, simulating things, you know. I’m not inhaling.
Honestly, I don’t smoke.

Anyway, we’ll just talk until this ends…ah, I’ve got one shaving cut today.
Somewhere anyway. Just a little cut.


Dear readers, if you’re in the mood for some good old classic ultra
mundane posts with the blogger talking about things that you probably
don’t give two shits about, please, do not hesitate to download the
video post. I must urge people not to mistake this as some kind of
satirical production about the blogging community – that would be
giving me way too much credit. Heh.

Anyway, like I mentioned, I went to see one of my doctors today, I
don’t “officially” have a medical record for anxiety here, but he’s
always generous with the benzodiazepines whenever I go. He’s asks me
how many I want, instead of prescribing them himself, and I can pick
and choose here. πŸ™‚ I decided on 20 x 2 mg Rivotril (clonazepam) and 20
x 5 mg chlordiazepoxide (generic Librium, just for review purposes)
today. I suspect he knows quite a bit about my lifestyle even though I
never tell him. I’m quite certain he knows that I’m benzodiazepine
dependant but still doesn’t mind handing them out due to previous
consultations where I basically told him about my various problems and
he seems to feel that my situation justifies it.

highbp benzos

Anyway, I also asked to have my blood pressure read and it was
pretty good (for me). I registered a BP of 180/95 (same results, taken
twice) and a pulse rate of 135 at rest. The figures aren’t bad – it’s
the bit about sustaining what are probably higher figures than that for
hours, before judicious benzodiazepine self-administration reduced it
to the figure that was measured at the doctor’s that made me feel quite
uncomfortable. I must say that I wasn’t feeling too good earlier as
well, thought I was about to have a stroke. I have just about every
factor that puts me at a higher risk and I have had many incidences of
stroke symptoms manifesting during certain high risk activities.

There were a few that required medical attention (hypertensive
crisis) but most of them were resolved without medical care, off my
head, there was one a few months ago – extremely alarming rapid onset
of action, everything happened within seconds, or so it seems. I knew I
had gone too far and my body was protesting but I, er…drank another
cup of coffee, and suddenly felt an alarming feeling of pressure
insistently building up in my brain, followed by the lost capability to
move my left leg, which resulted in me tripping and as I laid there on
the ground, I couldn’t even think, it was all too confusing, and then
*whoosh*, came the extreme headache that I thought would push my brain
out of the skull and I passed out.

I woke up 3 hours later totally disoriented and confused and
couldn’t remember the events which precipitated it. It was worse than
the worst hangover I ever had. I was wondering what time it was, and
why I was lying on the floor. I thought I went to bed and fell off
it…until I saw the…ah, smashed coffee cup on the floor. It’s not a
very nice feeling to wake up in your own room and wonder why the lights
and computer was on (with several flashing IM messages to boot) and
you’re lying propped up against a laundry basket and there’s a smashed
*coffee* cup beside you. It took a while to regain my senses, and it’s
a testament that the first thing I did was to remove all incriminating
evidence (the coffee mugs which aren’t coffee mugs and coffee which
isn’t coffee) before my gf came in the next day. Granted, I was aghast
about the period of unconsciousness…it seemed to be too long and I
had the distinct feeling that a good portion of my brain was
compromised on that day.

Well, that’s what happens when you drink too much caffeine containing beverages like coffee
compulsively over a short period of time if you have condition(s) which
contraindicates those, but still do it anyway. I’ve never been the type
that learns from my mistakes, I’m the kind of person who jumps back on
the horse. I would be careful the next time though…from experience, I
noticed that for me, it’s the overt intracranial pressure point that
has “Last Exit” written on it, coz it can avalanche very quickly to the
point where you are unable to communicate with people and then pass
out. I noticed that I could never go on heroic runs after my first
incident. Two to three day ones feels punishing, while it wasn’t even a
problem before. The Shadow People are starting to turn up earlier and
earlier too….

Trip down the stairs into hell
Cathay de I miss your smell
A mixture of puke, beer, stale piss,
fuck, sweat, and fear

Adrenaline addicted, the
blood leak from my head,
kinda concerned my friends…

But at the time it felt so right
The music blaring on….

Video of veritas smoking meth (with sound) – download now!

veritas smoking meth video

This is a video of veritas smoking methamphetamine in his room at
the tail end of a 3 day meth run. He just doesn’t know when to stop. πŸ˜‰
Anyway, this is actually the first time the video function of the Nikon
5700 is used. I was reading online manuals and set it up and recorded
this. Thus, this is the first video recorded with my digicam.

veritas smoking meth using a glass pipe []
1 minute Quicktime video clip (complete)
(14.8 MB zip file)
Extract (unzip) the .mov file. Requires Quicktime Player.

It’s actually just veritas making a fool of himself while smoking
meth in his KL room. It’s taken recently, slightly before the veritas
confession. He uses meth as a “work drug” – most of the better and
longer posts you see on is powered by methamphetamine.
Oh, and I’ll write in the third person if I want to. :p There are two
reasons why I’m releasing this video (which I’m sure will catch me a
lot of grief):

1. It was already leaked to an individual, and I’ve always thought
that a leak on the net is a full leak so people might as well download
it from the authorative site –!

2. I want to stress test my VPS before I migrate. We’ll see how well
it performs. Ping times are okay and so is tracert, but I want a real
life situation to see how my VPS handles the traffic

3. is not a food blog! :p

Anyway, the soundtrack is a feng tau track that I really love, it’s
not put in post-production, no post production was done on this video –
it’s the raw capture, since I don’t have any video editing software.
The music was on from my headphones while this was taken. This is the
actual first video record of my digicam. πŸ™‚

Oh, and the About me page is updated with recent info.

Well, I won’t be posting tomorrow and I have to be off soon, so
enjoy the video of veritas being silly and here’s my harm reduction
message: Methamphetamine use can cause people to act in a stupid and
socially unacceptable behavior so be careful. πŸ˜‰ Have a nice weekend
everyone, and if my VPS doesn’t die on me (please tell me if you have
problems downloading the video), then the migration will happen on

This will be the last veritas video post.

State dependant learning


It’s quite simple. Study on meth, do the exam on meth. πŸ™‚ That’s
state dependant learning in a nutshell. Does it work? It does for me.
There was this stoner movie (forgot the name – I’m a stoner too, but if
it helps, most of the cast are African Americans) where the guys smoke
weed while studying and then go to the exam blazed and breezed through
it. I’m quite doubtful about the efficacy of their drug of choice in an
exam environment though…I’ll stick to stimulants, thank you very much.


Lets talk about logistics. I do it by using an empty novelty candy
tin which works perfectly for crushing, storing and transporting stuff.
I used to be very scared of carrying illicit substances in my personal
effects, but I don’t seem to have the same fear anymore. *shrug* In the
tradition of giving paraphernalia names, I call this The HD Offerings Chamber.
You put meth in and (hopefully) HD’s come out. HD = High Distinction,
the highest grade you can get in Australian universities (correct me if
I’m wrong). Uh, don’t ask me how many HD’s I have in my academic


The construction of this portable stash tin is very simple. I’ll
hesitate to use the word “construction” since I didn’t do anything
remotely resembling that. πŸ™‚ The crystal meth is pre-crushed (so you
won’t have to fumble around in the toilet) and a (truncated) straw is
packed into the tin. I only carry enough to get me tweaking. The tin is
double bound with sticky tape to prevent it from opening and spilling
it’s contents (a Very Bad Thing).

5 minutes before the exam, I excuse myself to the toilet and lock
the door. The tape is removed and a line of appropriate size is racked
up using the straw. Insufflate. The guy taking a shit in the stall
beside you might ask what you’re up to. The correct reply is “It’s
winter, I have the flu. Now go about your business and stop listening
to me.” Bind the tin again with sticky tape if you didn’t consume
everything. The meth should hit you as you walk out of the toilet and
stroll (don’t walk, stroll) into the exam hall. You should be peaking
by the time the examiner says “You have 10 minutes reading time,
READING time only”. Alert: Neurons firing! Now go and ace that fucking
exam! πŸ™‚

This is a public service announcement brought to you by veritas.

The fine print:
veritas does not condone the use of drugs.
Illicit substances can land you with possession charges.
No claims are made on the efficacy of this method. is not responsible for police intervention, freak outs,
Acts of God, paranoia, failing grades, habituation, spilled meth or
anything resembling or not resembling the descriptions above.

Meth IV Part II – Hitting the vein, synergies and the comedown

veritas in the process of IV methamphetamine, taken by trip sitter (doesn’t want to be named). Liberal use of smudge to well, smudge details.

IV seems to make meth more like a “fun drug” than a “work drug”.
That’s my thoughts anyway, as always, YMMV. YMMV = Your Mileage May
Vary. Having to type that out defeats the purpose of acronyms, but oh
well, just in case anyone doesn’t know that. Well, back on topic, I did
get supervision this time, since I wanted to IV 70 mg (crystal meth). I
wouldn’t have blinked at insufflating twice that amount, but this is IV
so I wanted someone to look out for me since I already had quite a bit
and I fear the dose-response curve would be different for IV meth.

Hitting the vein:

These two are probably my last experiments with IV meth, unless
there is a reason to continue. I appreciate everyone’s concern, but I
do have a “safety net” – I’ll be going back to Malaysia (for good –
graduating) soon, and my access to recreational substances there is
very limited, due to family obligations, legislation that strikes fear
into the hearts of man and other factors.

IV meth #2

I got another fit pack and this time it only had 2 cotton filters!
Wtf??? Why doesn’t it match the number of syringes? It can’t be all
that expensive, so it would make more sense to have 5 filters inside
instead of a measly 2. I didn’t know that only a small bit of filter is
required, no wonder I lost some meth solution to the filter (which I
always ate after the shot anyway, so it doesn’t matter :p). The real
problem to the fit kits is this – the sterile water isn’t resealable.
There’s 10 ml of water, and each syringe will fit only 1 ml (but no one
in their right mind uses that much anyway) so the leftovers
become…unsterile. The top is a twist off plastic seal and once it’s
open, it’s open. I didn’t want to risk using “sterile water” that has
been sitting opened for many hours coz bacteria and other stuff might
have started a family in there. Being aware of this, I asked for
sterile water in smaller single packs and got this:

Astra Water for Injections BP

These comes in a much more sensible 2 ml and it’s in glass ampoules.
Very nice. These are the snap top vials, you open it by “bending” the
glass ampoule at the thinnest point (the yellow line) with one hand on
the top and one on the container. It makes a satisfying snap too, and
it’s a fun thing to do – this belongs in the same category as popping
bubble wrap and pressing the round things that your McDonalds drink
cover has. I mean the ones that say “Diet”, “Regular” and “Other”. I
can never resist pressing those things, they’re just begging for it! πŸ™‚

Astra Water for Injections BP back

Well, I don’t know how much I did, it was 8 shards but that doesn’t
mean anything at all, considering the wide range of different sizes
crystal meth comes in. I gave the spoon a wash with detergent and left
it under running hot water for a minute. That’s about as close to
sterile as I can get, but I think using disposable sterile spoons (do
they have these things?) would be better in the long run. I made things
more sterile this time. Anyway, I have to be quick so here’s the

Opened everything that needs opening without touching the inside:
Pealed syringe wrapper back so I could take it out with my clean hands without touching the wrapper.
Snapped top off the glass ampoule.
Opened box containing meth so I could get them by just touching the crystals.
Went to wash my hands with soap and hot water.
Checked that the spoon has no traces of water (I washed it with hot water and I didn’t want drops of that in the spoon)
Used left hand to pick up meth shards and drop into spoon.
Used left hand to pick up glass ampoule and pour an appropriately small amount into spoon.
Used left hand to agitate spoon to make meth dissolve faster.
Used right hand to pick up filter and drop into solution.
Picked up syringe and loaded it through the filter.
Held syringe with left hand (pointing upwards) while alcohol swab pack is opened.
Used right hand to take the alcohol swab and swipe intended injection
area. I know my hand is not sterile at this point, but I used the
“other” surface of the swab ie not the one I was touching, so that
should be okay.
Used left hand to inject solution into right inner elbow.

It’s practically begging to be snapped. Go snap it! πŸ™‚

By the way, the reason I didn’t use a tourniquet is because I can
see my veins, so there isn’t a need for one. It does help though, so I
used one in third IV experience, for reasons I will explain later
because I have a feeling I’m going to digress again so I’m going to
focus. I think I got the medial cubital vein this time, I was aiming
for that and there’s only two veins I could see in my extreme inner
elbow (the part closest to me) so I went for the second one as the
picture in Getting Off Right shows. I still have shaky fingers though,
and I found that what really helped is taking a couple of deep breaths
and then resolutely position the syringe while steadying your hand with
the little finger against the arm you’re injecting into. Personally, it
was much easier to inject with my left hand into my right arm, even
though I’m right handed.

I also found that it’s better to IV into the veins that are closer
to your body, not only because they’re easy to spot, but because it
makes solo injection easier, due to the way you can steady your fingers
against the arm. My trip sitter is only there just in case something
bad happens. I do not feel comfortable at the thought of having someone
inject me, unless it’s a medical doctor or a nurse. :p I’ll much rather
do it myself, coz I have more control and can modify settings based on
sense cues and just for paranoid hypochondriac reasons, I don’t want
someone sticking a syringe into me, even though I prepared everything

You asked for it…

Anyway, this time I only needed two tries and although my trip
sitter isn’t going to be awarded Photographer of the Year anytime soon
(just kidding hehe!) he managed to get some decent photos out, but most
of those would not be posted and the ones that are will need liberal
use of the “Smudge” tool in Photoshop. I meant for them to be personal
memorabilia only anyway, so the unmodified form are staying in my photo
archives. I have photos of myself in the act of
consuming/insufflating/injecting most substances, and while they are
for my own viewing only, I do sometimes wonder if keeping that is a
wise idea. While I don’t think anyone would bother to hack my box (my
net connection is always on), the possibility of that happening (remote
as it can be) exists and the ramifications could be unpleasant.

I would not like my offspring seeing those photos and think that I’m
either condoning drug use or lose their respect for me. Do as I say,
not as I do. πŸ˜‰ Shh…but I also harbor grand thoughts for my future, so
I would not appreciate those photos coming back to haunt me when say,
I’m running in an election. Of course, I don’t think I’ll go into
politics, but the same applies to corporate culture, it would be
damaging photos, unless society’s views on drug use becomes more
tolerant, like the way alcohol is viewed now. πŸ™‚

See what I meant about digressing? I even bore myself sometimes.
Anyway, I found it easier this time, the first time I thought I got a
vein (it was visible and I stuck right into it) but the plunger test
did not produce blood, so I withdrew and stuck it in again on the same
vein, but higher up. I pulled the plunger back and *swoosh* (that what
I imagine the sound is like :)) blood entered the syringe body in a
beautiful way – coming up through the left side and hitting the top of
the liquid and swirling back down. Nice! I pushed the plunger and felt
the rush almost instantly. It’s going to sound clichΓ©, but I’ll have to
use the word “orgasm” as a point of reference since everyone knows how
an orgasm feels like so they can relate to it better. I pushed the
plunger and the meth went into my veins and I immediately felt a
“building up rush”, it actually feels like an orgasm building up, to
the “point of no return”, and I was so excited, that before the syringe
could be emptied, my hand jerked and yep, part of it was shot outside
the vein.

IV #2: Swelling when some of the solution was accidentally injected outside the vein towards the end.

I didn’t think much of it though, since the rush was much better
this time, more “tangible” if that makes sense. However, after that
subsided, I noticed that there was a bump forming at the needle entry
point. I put a warm (hot at first – ouch!) compress on it, but it the
swelling did not subside. I thought that it was going to form an
abscess, but it didn’t. The swelling went down after a few hours and
the only thing left was two very small red marks, which is barely
visible now, definitely much more successful than the first try’s
mutilation, which isn’t healing well. The marks are still here today
with not much difference in visibility. There seems to be a large
bruise around that area too, but I wouldn’t worry about it unless I get
any other signs that something is up.

IV meth #3

IV drugs is bloody business.

This one involved 70 mg and a minimal amount of water. It seems that
the least amount of water necessary should be used because that makes
the rush stronger. I did notice a stronger rush when I used less water,
but whether that is because more crystals were used or because the
solution was less diluted is not known. I’ll just quickly go through
this one…I prepared the shot as above but the saturated cotton rolled
onto the left side of my table which is the dirtiest part of the
room!!! This was right before I could draw the solution into the
syringe and it should be noted that my trip sitter protested (thank you
for your concern) but I put the meth saturated cotton back into the
spoon and drew the solution up again.

In hindsight I should have just drunk the solution. I had no filters
left except cigarette filters (Marlboro reds) and I’ve heard
contradictory reports on the safety of cigarette filters so, I
disregarded the fact that the filter just rolled into the dirtiest part
of the room and decided to bang it anyway. Yes, I am Responsible Use
personified. πŸ™ That was very unwise indeed and it is worrying me.
Anyway, I got the vein with just one try this time, using a tourniquet
really does help even if you can see the vein, because restricting the
blood flow makes the veins bulge so you can gauge how far to inject in.
Just remember to UNDO the tourniquet BEFORE injecting.

I didn’t tie myself up, but I used a quasi-tourniquet. I think this
is pretty handy, basically it works with any T-shirt (and maybe long
sleeved shirts too, but why would you be wearing that when you’re
injecting stuff?). I just bunched up one side of the sleeve (I find the
bottom is the best place), “collecting” all the cloth into the side and
grabbing it really tightly and then pull while continuing to “grab”
more material. When you’ve grabbed all you can (obviously, don’t grab
so hard that you rip your shirt unless that’s part of your plan), PULL
the bit down and keep on pulling. This works like a tourniquet too, it
constricts the blood at that point and makes the veins all bulge up.
Very nice. I got my trip sitter to hold the cloth till I registered a
vein, but you could probably do this solo if you wanted to.

I didn’t use that much water. My methods of removing the water (spirited agitating) just got it everywhere except the spoon.

Anyway, I inserted the needle and drew back, and yup, *swoosh*. πŸ˜‰ I
depressed the plunger and whoa, this was really too intense! The rush
was bordering on uncomfortable, but the stimulation was so intense that
I couldn’t find the right word to describe it. I looked at my trip
sitter and said (shouted) “Yee fucking ha, motherfuckers!!!”. =D No, I
wasn’t swearing at him, the tense isn’t right if that were the case.
Inappropriate as that sounds, that phrase suddenly came into my brain
(for reasons unknown since I have never said that for many, many years)
and I just HAD to say it. Guess what my trip sitter said? “You have a
wild look in your eyes.” Heh. I kid you not! Great guy. I proceeded to
listen to music REALLY loud and singing along (another substance
involved – see Synergies below) until the rush faded and some semblance
of decency returned to me. πŸ™‚

Anyway, I’m now more confident with IV drug administration and have
learnt quite a few things from the experience. 70 mg of crystal meth
was too much though, I saw a white/dark light soon after I injected it,
it feels like taking a really long blink in bright light. The dose was
very “fun” but I don’t like the idea of using meth just for goofing
off, I prefer to think of it as a “study/work drug”, and that IV dose
was just unnecessarily high for studying. I do need more than 70 mg
when insufflating though, but that doesn’t make it less cost effective,
since it lasts longer. Regarding injecting techniques I found that that
I have to stick the needle in quite far (about 3-5 cm) but this is done
at a very low angle. I did it at about 15 degrees, that’s a very wide
ballpark figure, since I basically eyeballed it. I just inserted the
needle at an angle which is produced by steadying my hand with the
smallest finger on the arm and slightly rising it to an angle that
“looks right”. The figures could be totally wrong as I forgot how much
a centimeter looks like, and it’s different for anyone anyway. I have
found my personal insertion values though, it gets easier with practice.

IV #3: Practice makes perfect. Neat and clean needle entry wounds.

Back to the Bad Stuff, I was worried about this shot because it
seems to be sore even after a long time. I noticed that my heart hurts
as well, but that’s pretty common for me on meth. I have hypertension
so these shenanigans should probably be avoided. That’s not what I’m
worried about though – it’s endocarditis [] (requires an operation to change the heart valve!) and septicemia
[] (bye). I have thought that IV drugs is pretty forgiving
since my first try involved needles and cotton that is not sterile and
yet nothing bad happened. However, it seems that some symptoms only
manifest itself after days or weeks. Now that third shot is definitely
dirty (dust, cigarette ash, food remnants etc), should I be worried?
The more I read the more symptoms I see in myself. I would love input from experienced IV users.


N2O + meth = INTENSE!


Still inhaling…

I inhaled a cartridge and half of nitrous (approximate – filled
balloon with two cartridges and managed to inhale 3/4 before my meth
assisted increased perceived lung prowess quit) while still feeling the
rush of meth. Wow! Jesus Christ, that really is something! The nitrous
sound distortions are much intensified, hey sounds like “HEY HEY HEY
HEY HEY” from the wrong direction. It was bizarre and slightly
disturbing. It lasts much longer and intensifies the body high too. You
know that buzz your whole body gets on meth? Nangs make it much more
noticeable that even sitting felt too intense! The contact of my ass
with the chair was buzzing, the sensors were triggering! Nitrous oxide
goes so well with the meth rush (and even after the rush) that I feared
the two is contraindicated and thought I would stay in nangland forever
from brain damage! No, I didn’t check beforehand, I seem to be getting
irresponsible and impulsive as of late – definitely something I need to
reflect on. Lose respect for drugs, and they tend to fuck you up.

The comedown:

Anyway, that is something that I need to think about personally,
here’s what I typed during the comedown later that night when I had
cannabis, salvia (finally got something out of it! :)), nitrous,
benzodiazepines and alcohol. The file was found on the desktop today
and was entitled (of all things) “very intportant .txt”:

on the 5 ccombo coming off meth, actually just tweaked 4 hrs ago, ad
ten took 2 g clona plus a benzos i can’t tell. not allowed to say. but
i haven’t had food for 3 days. eveyrthing hit me, nearly forgot the
neighrbour is making scart clanging clanging noise lik about to make a
complaint. my bong PACKED FULL OF SALVIA tipped over, fuck!!! that was
the last bit i wantewd a huge one evern thoguh i’m farly fucked up
reite now already! heheheheheheh!
oh ya i keep om forgetting stuff, i wanted to tell yo usth but i forgot
i doulbt i can act sober rite npw too and damn ineed to reheat my food.
oh i suddden;ly remembered watned to tell you salvia5x extract is
sticky. πŸ™‚
hmm i can’t find my balloong for n2o and found it hiding under cannabis
sherrederm the cardi keep all my shredded weed on, i suually shread
enough for anite only though, i keep on forgetting thins so no point to
correct spelling . oh ya scrolled back and found that i was supped to
tell you the missing balllong for n2s was hiding under the card i shred
mj on, the card is nifty greeting card, i usually shred enough for a
day or two max


i burned my thumb quite badly (blisters) while smoking salvia coz i
wanted to take a huge fucking ass hit and didn’t realize until 30 sec
later that the flame is flickering into my head. i saw a dead woman
(but not scart’s face and head seleeping on my pillow i burt my hand
just now coz the lighter was under it and all my reactions s lowed so i
dunno until my brain says “says ouch” our brian controls us instead of
the other way round. show them burnt hand pic
pics will not be good quality coz bvery blur now and can’t be bothered taking pics
ohj i know why it buned me now its coz when i dun inhale the flame is
directly burning my hand, duh so stupid and didn’t realize it and now i
will have blisters on my thumb, wanted to smoke everything out of that
bowl. alll the salvia i mean, coz you can predict was i’m going to say
and suggest it to me
ie just burn the flamer, i amd so out of it now
not seconds later i just had this convo with my friend:

Friend (11:18 PM) :
wanna go 2 maccas at 12 later?
veritas (11:21 PM) :
ah sorry i am terrible so much out of it that i cannot evyerhting is a blur and filled with red spots now bizzare
veritas (11:21 PM) :
would love to eat though
but cna’t present myself to the public with all this red spots, very consistant, covers whole viewfield i’m seeing
veritas (11:21 PM) :
sorry dude
Friend (11:22 PM) :
hahaha alrite dude!
veritas (11:22 PM) :
see ya later buddy
hafve a nice good eat for me at maccas
Friend (11:22 PM) :
haha have a nice time too
veritas (11:22 PM) :
yeah lasst break b4 serious study have to be dome
Friend (11:23 PM) :
beter get some studying done
veritas (11:25 PM) :
gohgta study too
good luckl mate!
Friend (11:25 PM) :
good luck too!
veritas (11:25 PM) :
thanks buddy

bizzare as man and one of the catridges are duds
damn now i only have one left
i thought this was icq coz got ppl talking to me right now and i press
controk plus s to send and thought hmm how come nothing happen and dudh
reakuzed i amm= in notepate
bye see ya


very biaaaro conversation i felt quite a lot of things now and oh
the bulk was alright after all, i think it just needs to be pierced
harder i am so sleepy now oh got a depression at the n20 catrg head and
it wasn’t broken, just “pressed into and the someone msg me and
confused me yes just pressed ito it but not breakng it and the
bulburater confused me so hard i dunno how to work it out yet typing is
like second nater. was planning t osleep now aftre days of no sleep. πŸ™‚
man i lost the fcraker top and found it in all places a pizza box


i am seriously tihinking wat the neo whao this is the fucking best
fmost fucking barrae!!!! fcikiung seriously!!!!!!!!!!!!! ui am like
numb all ove and everttguing is red and i feel like i am center of
universe of a place with no people , so i fly in solitute sadly over a
city of no peaople
luckily i saw this last post, i mean i was seriously thinking wat the
neighbour must think of the strange noises coming from my room. first
the bong sound of partkating in mj , and that sound is quite
distinctinve wit ha bong, and then sounds for forced inhaling and
holging it in for a long time for the nos, reli gave a twist on
everything, remind me to tell you that n20 is fucking awesoe on
meth!!!! like you’re having an orgasasm but even better coz this
includet the ENTIRE body!!!
shit i think i lsot hte plot, i mean i wonder wat the neigh will think
of the strange noise, mhj smoking with a bong, a very distrinctive
sound, and the forced inhaling from balllons and breathing back for
recycling really loud and it must sound like someone is needing medical
attn and the doors did shut and close hmm oh ya one final post, the
“dud” catrdige is not dud after all, just need to apply harder than
usual pressure. okay -end-
n i forgot typiny w 1 ha nd now forgot about, oops myt ballooniis
leaking gas i meab wat da neigh will think at the disctinctive sounds
of nitrous relasing from a cracker, the fillng of ballong and me
inhaling it but oh well ,reli hungry now and gonna heat up my meal
mmm…this is the first solid food in 3 days and i prep multivite
already (it is in front of me at the kb) so i’ll eat now bye everyone!

Everything is left intact and unedited, except for the chat log
(only names have been replaced) and the three photos are not part of
the original file. I think it was the nitrous oxide and salvia
divinorum that made me incoherent since I’ve had the other 3 together
plenty of times before during meth comedowns and they never made me
sprout such retarded stuff. πŸ™‚ I just lost the plot over there.

Related: Meth IV Part I []

Mini Drug Binge

This is a veritas post.

Substances consumed:
Methamphetamine (meth)
Dexamphetamine (Dexedrine)
Clonazepam (Klonopin)
Diazepam (Valium)
Cannabis (weed)
Ketamine (K)
P.subs (magic mushrooms)
Salvia Divinorum (Diviner’s Sage)
LSD (acid)
95% alcohol + cannabis (Green Dragon)

Infected Mushroom – None Of This Is Real []
(right click, save target as)
[6:25 minutes 128 KBPS STEREO 44.1KHZ 5.87 MB .mp3]


(Day 1 – Day 6)

This is the mysterious container…look down for more.

My love for this substance is not unknown, so there’s nothing much
to say here. I planned to go on a 3 day run, but some things came up
and I had to extend it. It wasn’t pretty towards the end. Eating only
dextroamphetamine sulfate tablets and water for days is making your
stomach endure things it’s not built for. I had to abort the run by the
fifth day, because I thought I was going to kick the bucket (again).
Angina, hypertension, couldn’t breath, very elevated body temperature,
sudden jabbing pains all over (someone diagnose this please), blah blah
you know the drill. The strangest thing was that I had swollen and red
hands and feet after drinking only a tiny bit of water. I think
most of the problems would not have occurred if I forced myself to have
(reasonable) water intake every few hours and eaten something. It’s a
useful drug for studies and work…in moderation. My attempt to terminate
the run did not succeed on the fifth day (with benzodiazepines), but I
managed to sleep on the sixth day. Meth was insufflated and dexies were
taken orally. There was an attempt to insufflate meth to try and keep
awake for the LSD visuals, but no amount could keep me awake after the
alcohol. πŸ™‚

Peppermint Peckers!

The tin is just nice for storing meth, crushing dexamphetamine tablets and shards of meth. Stimulants only please!

It looks sad…


(Day 5, Day 6)


I had 5 mg on the fifth day but it did not bring me to the place
called sleep. I stacked it with 20 mg diazepam after it that became
obvious, but it still didn’t push the issue into the agenda. I consumed
only 2 mg on the sixth day with 10 mg diazepam and alcohol, and was
asleep within hours. This benzodiazepine seems to have lost quite a bit
of its hypnotic effects for me. Sometimes it makes me feel drunk and
anxiety-free and happy like Xanax (alprazolam) does, and thus I stay up
with a contented grin, but not sleep.


(Day 5, Day 6)


This particular benzodiazepine makes me extra sleepy. I only have a
limited stash (now I have none :p) so I tend to squirrel it away for
the moments when I really need the hypnotic effects.


(Day 5, Day 6)


I smoked quite a few bowls of weed before the appetite suppressant
effects of meth/dex was overridden. I ate a normal sized meal on the
fifth day (with lots of candy) and another one on the sixth day. I use
the word bowl and cone interchangeably and by that, I mean the


(Day 5)


I attempted to potentiate the benzodiazepines on the fifth day with
ketamine to induce sleep. Approximately 100 mg was insufflated, it
didn’t k-hole me, and only minimal ketamine effects were felt. I don’t
know if it’s because of quality issues or other factors.

Ready when you are

Enter Marquis – Bubbling (?) but no color change

Enter Simons – No color change

Ketamine will not react with Marquis or Simons.

Caution: Please note that benzodiazepines in combination with ketamine may suppress breathing.

Psilocybe subaeruginosa

(Day 5)

Since I couldn’t sleep anyway, I thought “fuck it” and consumed some
magic mushrooms. πŸ™‚ Benzodiazepine’s disinhibiting effects might have
contributed to the decision to take several different substances on the
sixth day. I don’t know the amount of mushrooms that was taken, but it
was fairly fresh. It produced some minor visuals and lots of laughter.
I actually went to uni while under the influence. πŸ™‚ No paranoia was
noted, probably due to the clonazepam. I went with CT on a mushroom hunting trip last week and we shared the haul. The pictures from that trip is here:




Salvia Divinorum

(Day 5, Day 6)


This is 5X salvia extract, courtesy of CT aka My Generous
Friend. πŸ˜‰ I smoked some on the fifth day with a bong and a (dodgy)
lighter. It’s supposed to be smoked with a butane lighter, the sort
that produces a flame that burns hot and fast for maximum effects. I
did not notice anything except a mild “ketamine feeling” the first
time. I smoked it again during the mushroom trip and it produced some
nice visual distortions. The best one is the way the area where two
walls come together began to flow downwards like a waterfall. What is
with me and waterfalls on mushrooms anyway? I would like to try it
again with a butane lighter and no other substances to get a feel for
this herb.

Caution: Salvia Divinorum is illegal in Australia.


(Day 6)


I also dropped a tab of acid on the morning of the sixth day. I
don’t know what lead to this decision…I was just sitting there, doing
some revision and unable to sleep when I thought:

“You know…a tab of acid would be great right now. I wonder if it would give me greater insight into this revision I’m doing.”

Duh. πŸ™‚ It didn’t, but it sure was fun. I was tired as fuck though,
and hurting all over, and I was expecting a bad trip, but it was a good
one. This is the Buddha tabs that I had written about previously. That
one and the amanita muscaria report made “Erowid’s Recommended Report”.
=D It did hurt the site’s bandwidth though, due to the direct linked
images. But hey, it got Erowid’s Recommended Report! πŸ™‚

Anyway, I think this is a different batch from the previous
one. It looked smaller than the previous tabs and the cardboard was not
as easily dissolvable as the previous one. It seemed (qualitatively)
weaker too. However, there was an incident regarding this which might
have caused that. I put them into my other stash drawer WHICH IS RIGHT
BESIDE THE HEATER! LSD is sensitive to heat, and I only realized after
noticing that the drawer is kinda warm after an hour or so, and moved
it to another place. It still is psychoactive, but sadly, the strength
of the LSD seems to have been reduced.

It’s not dissolving…

There wasn’t any paranoia on this either, probably due to the
clonazepam. The clonazepam was also responsible for making me search 30
minutes for the acid tabs after I dropped it, only to find it was right
beside me all along. The best visual from this trip was right when I
was about to sleep…I found the pillow occupied by large and transparent
organisms. It’s the ones that we learnt in high school Science…the
ones that are one class above single cell organisms. They weren’t
moving, but once in a while they would wave their feelers around a bit.
It made me a bit wary about sleeping on the pillow. πŸ™‚

95% alcohol + cannabis

(Day 6)

The (190) proof is in the pudding

I made a batch of this last year and found it to be weak, so I made
another batch this year and put more cannabis into it. 95% alcohol
(sold as Everclear in the US) is available in a few bottle shops here.
I don’t know the legal status of spirits with this strength, but I
don’t think it’s illegal. It is hard to find though, I haven’t seen it
displayed anywhere, I had to ask for it by name and it was produced
from the storeroom.


Basically, you put (finely shredded) cannabis into the bottle and
let it sit around for a few weeks. I recommend filtering the mixture
after that because I got a mouthful of soggy (really soggy) weed and
nearly retched. I can’t describe the texture, but I didn’t like it. πŸ™‚
Alcohol was the magic ingredient, it put me right to sleep when
combined with benzos. Benzodiazepines alone have consistently failed to
produce the appropriate hypnotic effects for me now. Alcohol is the
missing link,

“And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made; and
he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made.”

Genesis 2:2

The draft of this document is here:
Mini Drug Binge v.beta []

My apologies, this isn’t well written at all, but I do have exams
coming up too, you know. Contrary to popular belief, taking drugs is
not my day job! πŸ™‚

Mini Binge Draft: v.beta

<p>This is a post by <a href=””>veritas</a>.</p>

<p>I wote this while still very under the influence and try as I want
to, I cannot simply provide resoanably understandable phrases while in
this mindstate. Plus, I took a heavy dose of benzodiazepines and theire
siren calls are irresistible, try as hard as I could. That was
originally the plan – I hae tweaked for a few days so today ios the
time to stop…except I ended up having classic ideas like taking LSD
(acid) at 5am the morning. Hehe! If I knoew I wasn’t gonnabe this
tired, I’ll have been out. So here’s the very dubious draft, read at
your own risk, sinlight just looks so beautiful on a low 1 blotter dose
of acid. I amazed that that all the insufflated meth couldn’t keep me
from sleeping. The acid too, visuals look great in the daytime , it’s a
small dose, but its great. I’ll tell you more tomorrow, Too sleepy not
to saything except food. And fractals. Anyway, I’m stopping here and
I’ll post a photo up so it isn’t all tes.t I can’t think coherently
now, but check back tomorrow and I’ll have posted a nether post with
all the pirctures and when I’m sober enough to write. Bye nite…and you
can have a read at the really rough draft starting here:</p>

<p><img alt=”msysleep.jpg” src=”” border=”0″ height=”263″ width=”350″><br>
Intrigues by this picture? Have you been subject to sleepless nights
because you wonder what that picture is. Well , check ack tomorrow and
all will be clear! I did take a lot of pics of substances b ut nah
can’t postm them today toooosleepy. I had something to say but I forgot
it again like usual. Fuck.</p>

<h3>Idiot warning: Please refrain from reading because there’s an idiot writubg (though not intentionally.</h3>
<h2>Final warning: Drug retard’s journal. Not recommended for reasing</h2>
Oh man, even typing that out made me have to think for a long to to get
that thought out. I should probably put a caution here: This post will
endoubtadly lead in an appropriate degress of respect, but in my
defence, some stuff have been sitting in the drawer for AGES and I
never had an urge to touch them (except for dex/meth). I don’t know why
I’m at the first paragraph again, will go down and find the one I
posted in last and I’m going to put an idiot waitning on top.
<p><b>Substances: </b><br>
Day 1 – Day 6<br>
Methamphetamine <br>
Dextroamphetamine (Dexamphetamine, Dexedrine)<br>
Day 3 or 4 or 5  <br>

<p>Ketamine = early this morning (or was it last night?) time just loses it’s meaning when you stay up a while.<br>
Bendodiazepines (clonazepam, diazepam)<br>
Salvia Divinorum (Diviner’s Sage)<br>
Cannabis (marijuana)<br>
95% alcohol…I think that’s what made me so drowsy wit the benzo doses I just look. I’m having a bizzzare feeling now./<br>
Mushrooms! =D</p>

<p><b>Caution: </b> This post might be offensive to three different people<br>1.
Who have been brainwashed by government propaganda into thinking “Drugs
are bad mmmkay?” The scond group that might be displeased is the harm
reduction organizations, who’s work and time towards the cause have
always been appreciated! To them I say, my apologies for contributing
to the image of irresponsible use. To the first group I say, get your
fucking ass out of your head because eat food – shit comes out – eat
shit ad nauseum is not a healthy way to life. I’ll also like to mention
that I’m not the most responsible drug user out there, so please do not
take my comments as representative of a larger group. If you do, I
suggest that a refresher course in university might do you a world of
good to keep things in perspective.<br>
<b>Background:</b> Taking methamphetamine/dextroamphetamine for 6 days
straight. Today is the sixth day. I wanted to comedown yesterday but
thatfunny ketamine kept me awake and so here I an,I would love tell you
about the..tius is like a really bad movie but I seriously forgot again.<br>
<b>Substances: </b></p>

<p>It’s the end of the semester some more!!!!! I felt so tired after my
5 day run without food and sleep (got some on the sixth night, yum
drowisnes alernt, oh and I’m going to pass out right now I’m so sleepy!</p>

<p><b>Anyway substances taken:</b> methamphetamine (meth) <b>I’LL STOP
that’s giving up, I will resist the URGE to sleep and I promise I’ll
get this done pictures and all (although shoddiness is garunteed) </b>now iE TONIET., dextroamphetamine (Dexidrine instant release), diazepam (Valium),</p>

Note: er…somehow this post didn’t survive the server move, but the final post did</p>

Methamphetamine Diaries Part I: The rush

This is a post by veritas.


Exhibit #1:

I just started my 3500 word due in 9 hours now

but its helluva easy…took an easy sub this semester coz i already
have enough units. hah! anyway i know you’re working nite shift lar, i
read all the entries in your blog already. yeah, i like breakfast, it’s
good, the best, dinner and lunch is terrible though. a group of us used
(snip) every thursday (coz most ppl have fridays free, the smart
one who allocates timetables well do anwyay :p) till morning and then
go for breakfat together, that was crazy and funny, usually 12 of us
will (cut) eat and then hit the bed after that. those were the days…but the scene died down though, a lot of the (blah blah), that was last year but it was fun. don’t anymore though, coz (what’s that again?).
i like vietnamese pho too, i’m with the popular majority who says
mekong has the best. oh ya what hours do you work? i know its nite
shift, i mean from when to when? interested to know, sorry if it’s too
personal. and while we’re on the topic of personal stuff, is that your
full name? (privacy)? I’ve seen those around, not very common though, usually it’s three words, one family and two (revealing personal details, big chunk deleted)
they must be damn disappointed that name didn’t translate into actual
results. πŸ˜‰ i’m not known for having a good acedemic track record,
although i scrape thru. :p there i go talking about myself again,
apologies, blaming it on the meth. =D would like to know your full name
if that’s okay.

anyway, i have to get back to my assignment, heh i wrote a bit
already, do i sound like a spammer or what! too many exclaimation marks
and excessive use of hyperbole. man, i’m having so much fun writing
this…i usually write write write and then go hit to pull a
couple of books as my references. πŸ™‚ i find it much easier to write
whatever i want and insert random references into the nonsense i write
(no references = treated as plagarism) and then put up a fake
bibliography with the books from it has always worked and
its so much faster thatn doing research! i’ve already read about all
this stuff beforehand anyway, so i guess that is research, since i
didn’t forget it, it’s right and blah blah. i am so having fun now, had
heaps of meth to override the damn benzo fog. stand well back
people!!!! here’s comes meth!

meth: i eat mental fogginess for breakfast!!!

clonazepam: oh, we’re so fucked…

(sounds of flesh being ripped apart and disturbing slurping noises)

meth: i live here now! what’s that you’re working on dude? feh,
easy, let me help, we’ll be done in no time! no time i say! you hear
me???? no time!!!

me: *swoons* you never have let me down. kiss me!

meth: technically i am in your bloodstream, so i’m running through your lips as well

me: oh you taste so good

meth: why thank you

me: bitter actually, but i’ve come to associate that with the rush

meth: yes, bitter is good eh?

me: very good! clonazepam, you in there?


meth: i er…took the liberty of taking care of those assignment killers

me: i see, yeah you’ve told me before

meth: yes i did

me: ok

meth: yeah

me: don’t use conversation fillers

meth: ok

me: that’s another one. just shut up and help me with this.

meth: will do! (silently thinking: you just wait…i’ll show you for
talking to me like this…i’ll oxidise this, and this and this. haha!
there goes your dopamine receptors)

me: hey wats that you’re mumbling about?

meth: er…nothing! (thinking: can he really hear me?)

me: yes, duh!

meth: sorry

me: i know about the dopamine thing, prepared to take that one anyway

meth: okay

me: fillers

meth: sorry

me: its okay, just work harder

meth: will do!

me: enough jibba jabba

meth: cunt

me: i heard that

meth: i know

me: you want me to take a megadose of benzos?

meth: you wouldn’t do that, the assignment is due tomorrow

me: hmph…but after that…

meth: i’m just shaking in my boots

me: you won’t be so cocky when that 6 mg clonazepam gang comes after you

meth: pffft, i’ll send them back in a hellbasket (thinking: oh boy)

me: i heard that too. such is the life of meth eh?

meth: yeah, we don’t live very long…thanks for the urinary alkalinizers dude, that’s like a drink from the fountain of youth

me: no problem, we take care of each other round here

meth: appreciate that. i got you back too

me: like hell you do

meth: apart from the dopamine thing that is, erm…thats nothing, you’ll be fine

me: no i won’t, but that’s cool, just don’t give me a stroke, a
heart attack, a brain aneurysm, or anything like that and everything is

meth: no promises, but i’ll try my very best. you have my word.

me: thats wat you said last time too

meth: hey, give a dog a bad name and hang it and all that…

me: okay, enough of this, lets get to work

Here’s what i’m up to so far if you’re interested (which you’re probably not):

(my assignment bits was here)

that’s it! πŸ™‚ Take care (name) and have an absolutely wonderful day! <- another example of my excessive hyperbole use


That’s an email I wrote during the end of last month, while
tweaked…verbose and full of irrelevant details. Yeah, I’ve resorted
to posting old emails because I don’t have time to write, although
there’s heaps of things I want to update you all about. Indiscriminate
and heavy editing has been applied to the original email to remove
identifying portions. The recipient is someone on the blogs link, play
“Guess the Blogger” if you want. It’s not really that hard, but please
don’t give me away. πŸ™‚

Clue: None. There’s too many in the email as it is.

Salvaging spilled methamphetamine powder

I have sunk to a new personal low. Please do not read any further
unless you’re prepared to be disgusted. The left side of my work table
is the absolute dirtiest surface area in my room. This is because – I
eat takeaway food there. I smoke there (ashtray is located there). I
store packs of (opened) chocolate/candy there (for my weed related
munchies). I put coins there. Receipts/bills/returned
assignments/letters etc goes there. You get the drill, it’s the
“everything there” part of the room. I took a single foil of meth out
from my stash. The foil is pre-weighted to 100 mg and packaged
individually. I unwrap the foil and put it on the left side on my desk.
I reached for my straw. Except there was no straw. Where did my straw
go? I searched my stash drawer, went through everything, but nope, it
wasn’t there. I searched the left side on my desk, flipping up letters,
bills, chocolate bars and the opened meth foil. Yes, the unwrapped
foil of meth! Oh, it flew everywhere. The “landing zone” was an area of
approximately 3/4 meter by 1/4 meter. It wasn’t pretty, I’ll tell you
that. I’ll like to say that my reaction was limited to saying “Oh, what
bad luck”, dust everything into the rubbish bin and get another foil
from the drawer.

Only users lose drugs

It wasn’t. Instead, I dusted everything into a “working pile”. The
name alone suggests what I intend to do with it. Keep in mind that the
meth was salvaged from things as varied as the surface of a 50 cent
coin, the wrapper of a large Cadbury chocolate bar (the 250 g size
ones), a receipt from Coles, an odd piece of cardboard that I’ve never
seen, Metcards (public transport tickets) and a A$10 note to name a few
things. The remainder (which wasn’t on top of something) was merged
into the working pile by moving everything out of the way and scraping
the table with a card. I nearly retched while writing that sentence,
for reasons I’ll go into in a second. Anyway, the moving everything out
of the way bit is why the picture above shows a rather empty table.
It’s usually ultra-cluttered.

Now I have a pile of questionable things which I call the “working
pile”. The pile was not consistent with the volume a point (100 mg) of
the meth I get would look like. I’ll say it was about 1/3 of 100 mg,
which meant I lost quite a bit. I can see some bits on the table still,
but those are in areas which are very dusty and dirty (which was what I
meant about retching). I did scrape over those parts anyway. πŸ™ In my
defense, I worked around the most disgusting areas while scraping and
wiped the really dirty ones which had a bit of meth of it with a wet
cloth before I get any funny ideas. After that, I got down and went to
work on the “working pile”. I used the side of the card to separate the
“working pile” into two piles – “maybe meth” and “probably meth”
(cheers BigTrancer!). The “probably meth” consists of
relatively large shards of crystal and smaller bits which has a
translucent quality and looks like meth. I had a second bit of bad luck
when I dropped one of the largest shard on the carpet, but even I’m not
ghetto enough to go looking for it. :p

The “maybe meth” is what the rest of the “working pile” contains
after the “probably meth” filtration (this is too good a word for it)
was done. I insufflated the “probably meth” pile and went to work on
the “maybe meth”. It burnt much more than usual. These are among the things I found in the “maybe meth” pile:
Cigarette ash
Chocolate bits
Biscuit crumbs
A short hair (I’m getting rather put off at this point)
Piece of shredded cannabis bud
Unidentified brown gunk
Coagulated white stuff which I don’t want to speculate about
As you can see the left side of the table is not clean!
I shudder when I think about the takeaway meals eaten here and the
resulting stains (ugh). Anyway, after the above adulterants were
removed, the remaining “maybe meth” still doesn’t look quite right.

Well, I sat there pondering about the health consequences of
introducing the nasty things (and probably plenty of bacteria) that
reside on the left side of my table to my nasal membranes and I decided
that it won’t be a good idea at all. I ate the “maybe meth” pile. I
figured my stomach would be able to handle it better than my sinuses. I
feel so dirty and depraved. You can shake your heads in pity and go
“tsk tsk” now.

I’ve been told that last bit plenty of times anyway. In fact, SY just used it yesterday, also regarding me and meth but in a different context. πŸ™‚ The good thing about today is:

I know. You don’t have to remind me every time I reach for one

I don’t have to use nicotine gum anymore. =D I ran out of cigarettes
yesterday and had to resort to the gum, which staves off the nicotine
monster running though my blood, but not the one in my lungs. No smoke
= no satisfaction. Oh, and some important things I want to share:

Please be careful and respect every substance.
I don’t have time to go through specifics, but I thought I was gonna
kick the bucket yesterday. I took way too much dexamphetamine and
methamphetamine last night and it fucked me left, right and center. I
was gang raped by the two and it wasn’t pleasant at all! I felt like I
was going to have a stroke, heart attack or a brain aneurysm and
possibly all three.

Please take care when you use urinary alkalinizers to potentiate (meth)amphetamines!
The way they work is by reducing the rates of elimination of
amphetamine type substances from your body. This makes re-dosing
dangerous, especially if you take high doses for prolonged periods of
time. I took most of my script (a stupid thing by itself) and some
meth, didn’t drink much water (in a stupid effort to further prolong
the action) and held my urine for very long periods of time (I only
went twice over 36 hours – another stupid effort to make it last
longer). I believe that all the above and the frequent re-dosing led to
a dangerous buildup of amphetamines in my bloodstream. Urinary
alkalinizers will lead to a buildup in your bloodstream because it
reduces the rates of elimination. Time your re-dosing well, and
consider reducing your subsequent doses to compensate for the buildup.
I didn’t even notice it until I jumped 3 feet out of my chair when A
PIECE OF PAPER dropped from the desk and made a tiny swoosh sound.

I was feeling extreme pressure in my head and I had this bright spot
of light in my vision which I think is related to pressure behind the
eyeballs. Other manifestations were constant dizziness, head rushes
after slight exertion (like moving your arm) and while urinating (not
the good head rushes, these are the ones that feels like your skull is
about to explode), very prominent chest pain, extreme difficulty in
breathing (had to really strain to get a breath of air and even then it
didn’t felt enough), a high heart beat that I could hear (feel?),
swollen and freezing hands and feet that looked grey with very
prominent and bulging veins (even the small ones, they aren’t
noticeable usually), and the worst of all – random jabbing pains. The
pains are sharp but short and usually around the hands and feet. I’ve
had these symptoms a lot of times before, it’s all part of the fine
line us tweakers straddle when we push the limits. However, every
person’s body is different and I urge you not to sniff and say that’s
just amphetamine overdose symptoms, especially if you have existing
hypertension or heart conditions.

This is because of something I’ve noticed which I’ve confirmed by
reading medical articles (forgot the links, but please search if you
want references). The thing I’ve noticed is – I cannot do long runs
anymore, it’s fucking impossible! The substance is not the limiting
factor, but the negative reactions are. I always don’t eat and drink
little while tweaking and that used to be fine. It still is fine. I’ll
be honest here – I use much more frequently than I admit to. It’s not a
“weekends only” thing by far. It would be better described by the word
“cycle”. I also tend to go for high doses, re-dose often, use
alkalinizers and other physical tricks like little water intake, forced
urine retention etc. All the symptoms I describe above starts happening
at shorter and shorter periods. It first started to appear at the end
of a 6 day meth run.

Now, the symptoms are starting to appear sooner and sooner – 5 days,
4 days, 3 days, you know the drill. My runs are the no sleep, no food
and no other substances except stimulants type, so that could be part
of the reason. I don’t exceed 3 day runs now, because I can’t! That’s
the only cycle I can sustain now – 3 days on/1-2 day(s) off/3 days on.
It’s not for the lack of trying, the symptoms get progressively worse
and worse until breathing take up most of my energy and the chest pain
becomes to prominent, it makes work impossible, so what’s the point of
tweaking then? I’m concerned that this means that there’s some sort of
permanent damage being done…I have existing hypertension (high blood
pressure) and that and the urine alkalinizers might be the reason why
it hits me so hard. I’ve been reading about amphetamine induced
pulmonary hypertension – if you get this lovely condition, the average
time till you buy the farm is quoted as 1-3 years. Speed/meth puts a
lot of strain on your body. Please be careful out there, if you’re
taking high doses with frequent re-dosing/using urinary alkalinizers as
potentiators/have existing hypertension or heart conditions. Do the
drugs, don’t let the drugs do you, eh? πŸ™‚

Now if only I would take my own advice…

P/S – I found that taking a high dose of benzodiazepines (I took
clonazepam) seem to lower your blood pressure and eliminate most of the
symptoms. Don’t take this as medical advice though, it’s just personal
observation. Also, by “high dose”, I mean a definite hypnotic dose –
one that will surely put you to sleep. I would also eat before I sleep,
cannabis works wonders.

I just realized that (meth)amphetamine is one of the things which
tends to lead to the utilization of multiple substances to effectively
manage the side effects – or as the anti-drug people like to call it,
“poly drug abuse”. That might be a cause of concern for some people, so
take care everyone!

Related link: Guide to coming down off meth and speed [].

Messy Meth (Hello Nurse)

The best delivery system I’ve seen to date!

I have too many things to do so I’m going to keep this short. I had
a Class A meth induced freak out yesterday. It was my 5th day without
sleep and food (but plenty of meth and dexamphetamine), and I had
forced myself to half a pack of Tim Tams (chocolate biscuit, very
sugary sweet). I was browsing around when I felt my hands go completely
white like there wasn’t any blood. I was feeling very confused,
sweating, hand tremors, extreme dizziness and my vision was fucked.

I felt my blood pounding in my head, had sore muscles, my face was
crawling and my hands had parts that looked black too, which freaked me
out. I’ve heard something about hypoglycemia before and I searched for
it. I read some medical sites about starvation induced hypoglycemia,
reactive hypoglycemia after a high sugar meal stuff like that. I was in
a bad state of mind, and reading those made me worse coz I had those
symptoms. I spent 6 hours reading and debating whether or not to go to
a hospital.

Hmm…nah, I concluded, it’s just a meth freak out, not that
hypothingamajic. Sleep deprivation, overt CNS stimulation for prolonged
periods of time, you’re stressing that grey matter, not getting
starvation/reactive hypoglycemia. The symptoms came and went and I
thought okay, I’ll just eat something that’s not simple sugars to
re-stabilize…forced two small pieces of chicken about the size of a
thumbnail down and well, basically got worse.

The symptoms came again, even worse this time and I was really freaking out. Why?

The risk of permanent neurologic deficits increases with
prolonged hypoglycemia; such deficits can include hemiparesis, memory
impairment, diminished language skills, decreased abstract thinking
capabilities, and ataxia.

Basically, they advice quick medical attention because you’ll damage
your brain the longer you wait. There was one site that said go,
because the risk of not going is permanent brain damage. Fuck, I
thought. I still didn’t want to go, but I was scared coz I had these
effects towards the end during the last long meth run (6 days) too.
Ketoacidosis, hemiparesis (I don’t even know what this is!!),
neurological damage. Medical terms swirling in my head…

I decided that it was just methamphetamine induced paranoia and
sleep deprivation induced erratic thought patterns. Nothing to worry
about, I’ll just pop a couple (maybe more than a couple, har har)
benzos, down some beer, smoke some weed, get some food in me and sleep.
Except, it got worse, and got me seriously worried about my mental
health. Brain damage!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’ve always held my
superior intellect (in my opinion :p) in high regard and I don’t want
to fuck that up.

I guess the last straw was when I couldn’t think or speak normally.
I was having trouble getting what I thought into words and my speech
was abnormally…well, abnormal. My precious brain is getting fried, I
thought. What if it’s really hypoglycemia and not meth paranoia? It’ll
be STUPID to not go for a checkup, when neurons are at stake. I flushed
all my drugs down the toilet and my friend (can’t name him coz that’ll
give away my identity) took me too the hospital. Thanks buddy, I owe
you one! πŸ˜‰

Well, at the hospital, I had to wait for ages while the triage nurse
(the person that evaluates all incoming patients) fucked around. Most
triage nurses are bitches (and that’s a fact) but you can’t blame them
too coz it’s their job to sort out the emergencies and non-emergencies
for better efficiency. I’ve had experience with them before, I had to
wait for ages before I finally got approved after throwing up blood.
That time, I saw a guy with a broken arm cursing coz he had to wait
ages too.

I think you have to be 5 minutes away from death to get instant
approval from triage nurses. They have the “police syndrome” aka the “I
feel like God, I have so much authority bow before me lesser beings”
disorder. Anyway, I finally got a little bit of mini-God’s time and she
took my blood sugar with a tiny device that pricks the finger, all the
while telling me off. I have to say that not all triage nurses are like
this though, the previous one I saw was much nicer.

Well, she told me I had a blood sugar level of 6.7 which is normal
“and probably even better than mine” (her own words) and asked me
whether I wanted to see a doctor. I said no, because if it wasn’t
hypoglycemia, I don’t have to worry about brain damage. She berated me
for not eating (I didn’t tell her about my methamphetamine use – my
policy is disclosure on a “need to know” basis) and was a general
asshole about it. Regardless, I thanked her and stood up and she
impatiently asked whether I wanted to see a doctor again and I said no
(again). Major fucking bitch with a capital B.

Well, anyway, all is good except that I flushed good drugs down the
toilet for no reason. I know from experience that hospitals won’t
notify police or anything but try telling that to a paranoid delusional
after a meth binge. Anyway, I still have the symptoms but my conclusion
is that it’s just extremely high blood pressure from frequent meth
re-dosing. It went away after stopping and sleep. Did I really go on a
break? I’ve been using it too much, I don’t want to go into specifics,
but it’s too much.

Enough about that, yesterday was a great day for mushrooms but I
think that’s gonna be in a different post coz it’s completely
unrelated. Anyway, I didn’t think I did any serious harm, but my
intellectual abilities sure went down several notches today. It’s quite
noticeable and I’m still waiting for the verdict – benzo related
(temporary) or overheating + high blood pressure (permanent). Hope that
it’s the former, wish me luck people. =D Well, fuck this wasn’t short
after all. Ah…methamphetamine, you’re such a contradiction – my best
friend and my worst enemy.

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