Chlordiazepoxide (Librium) – the first benzodiazepine

benpine bottle 5 mg

Chlordiazepoxide is the very first benzodiazepine that came out and
it’s the prototype for the benzodiazepine compounds. Leo Sternbach was
the man who discovered the psychoactive properties of chlordiazepoxide,
and it as a fluke too. He worked on synthesizing biotin when he first
went into Roche and when that was done, he was about to clear his lab
when he noticed a crystalline compound. He didn’t think it would be
worth sending for tests, but dropped it off anyway, and that decision
gave us the wonderful benzodiazepine family we have today. πŸ˜‰

It’s all written down in “Good Chemistry: The Life and Legacy of Valium Inventor Leo Sternbach” and his personal memoir “The Benzodiazepine Story”
published in-house by Roche (rare book). The product trials started in
May 1957 and the excellent results from the clinical trials allowed
Roche to debut Librium (clordiazepoxide hcl) in 1960, which was well
received, considering the sedatives of that time didn’t exactly have
excellent safety profiles.

chlordiazepoxide psychotropic

Valium (diazepam) was only marketed in 1963, and it was the
blockbuster hit that propelled Roche to fame and fortune. However,
Librium (chlordiazepoxide) is the first benzodiazepine and that gives
it a lot of historical value. The chemical structure of
chlordiazepoxide hydrochloride is 7-
chloro-2-(methylamino)-5-phenyl-3H-1, 4-benzodiazepine 4-oxide
hydrochloride. It has the 1,4 benzodiazepine structure that most other
benzodiazepines share. Librium is the Adam of the benzodiazepine world.

I’ve taken chlordiazepoxide before and I wasn’t very impressed,
considering the heavyweights like clonazepam and alprazolam had been
released since the first benzodiazepine. However, I wanted to get more
before I write about it and that was difficult coz most GPs don’t stock
this considerably weak and old benzodiazepine anymore. I got my
pharmacy in Sibu to get one in through “unofficial channels” (it’s
faster) and received it when I was back home the week before. I
purchased it for RM 250 (!) which was a pleasant surprise, since
private channels usually doesn’t come cheap. I guess Thailand must have
really cheap generic benzodiazepines.

chlordiazepoxide habit forming

This is the bottle of generic chlordiazepoxide marketed under ATC
and named Benpine. I had asked him to get the 25 mg ones, but his
source could not get them. I don’t mind anyway, since it’s still a lot
of chlordiazepoxide. πŸ™‚ It was obtained from Thailand and comes in a
1000 pill glass bottle containing 5 mg of sugar coated chlordiazepoxide
base (as Hcl). There is a red stamp with the words “FOR EXPORT ONLY – Psychotropic substance” on one side and “WARNING: MAY BE HABIT FORMING” on the other. Habit forming, eh? No shit… πŸ˜‰

benpine bottle 1000

Anyway, these 5 mg sugar coated chlordiazepoxide tablets are nice to
suck on – I don’t measure how much I take, I just grab a handful and
suck on those since it’s a very low potency benzodiazepine. The sugar
coated feature is nice – there’s a burst of sweetness from the pills
you just popped in, and once that’s gone, a slightly bitter (not as
much as alprazolam) taste dominates. It comes on very fast; it’s one of
the rapid acting benzodiazepines. I felt the familiar benzodiazepine
effects within 30 minutes every time.

Chlordiazepoxide has the classic anxiolytic, sedative, hypnotic, and
anti-convulsant effects of benzodiazepines. It peaks at the 2 hour
point and starts to return to baseline after that. However, it doesn’t
leave you hanging just like that – chlordiazepoxide feels like diazepam
(Valium) in that sense…the peak plasma concentration slowly goes away
instead of just disappearing like Xanax. It’s interesting to read that
the monograph lists desmethylchlordiazepoxide, demoxepam,
desmethyldiazepam and oxazepam as the active metabolites which remains
in you for anywhere from 5-48 hours. It’s supposed to be notoriously
unpredictable in the time to peak plasma and half life calculations.

atc 5
ATC 5 – The new Erimin 5. πŸ˜‰

Chlordiazepoxide feels good – it’s nice to know that the very first
benzodiazepine can still perform. I went on a chlordiazepoxide-only
benzodiazepine intake for two days. It does the job (in large enough
doses) and I felt happy on it. πŸ™‚ I didn’t notice much in the way of
what people call “hangover effects” since I don’t get them on other
benzos anyway. However, I noticed that my motor skills were slightly
impaired on the second day after a high dose on it. I’ve taken it for
quite a while now; I just grab a fistful of it like candy and pop them
in my mouth. I find that anything below 500 mg (approximate) didn’t do
much. It tastes like candy though, with its sugar coating. Heh!

Unfortunately, it goes all too quickly too…just like candy. I
won’t miss the effects (which was nice, btw, but the benzos I’m on now
suits me better), but the sugar coated 5 mg generic Chlordiazepoxide
Hcl pills will always bring a smile to my face. I found out that I did
like chlordiazepoxide, an not just for the historical value, but also
from the way the active metabolites slowly hangs around for the rest of
the day until you redose. I didn’t have to scramble for lorazepam or
more Xanax, unlike the newer benzodiazepine compounds coz of the sharp
blood plasma concentration reduction.

chlordiazepoxide handful

Chlordiazepoxide is worth exploring for historical value…getting
to sample the first benzodiazepine was fun. I remember the highest dose
taken was about 800 – 1000 mg over a 15 minute period one night to
finish of the rest of the bottle (it was still about 1/5 full), and I
was just watching a movie while repeatedly reaching for more until I
realized I finished it. I didn’t feel an urge to sleep, but I did get a
feeling as if I was stoned. It was fun.

However it should be noted that chlordiazepoxide has been associated
with seizures (?!?!) at high doses, so be careful. I didn’t get
seizures though, it could be an isolated incident like triazolam alone
causing an OD death in one patient. It would be wise to exercise
caution though – I was really irritable after the chlordiazepoxide
holiday and it took me a couple of days to normalize back to my usual
dose, and I had to up that to make it faster too. :p

Oh, and er…April Fool! Here at, it’s still the 1st of April until I say it’s not. πŸ˜‰

“OTC” prescription recreational pharmaceuticals in Malaysia

This is a veritas post.

Xanax, Ultram, Phentermine, Lexotan, oh my…

My friend is back!!! Project Doctor Shopping Malaysia Part II is
cancelled! Why would I want to go through all that trouble when I get
what I want without a prescription? I will write the report soon
though, coz it’s worthy of a post. But I’m giving up on my scripts,
thanks to my good friend who shall remain unnamed, I can just walk into
his pharmacy and ask for stuff and only pay pharmacy retail prices (bye
consultation fees). Heh. I’ve gotten 20 x 1 mg Xanax tablets a couple
of days ago, which I finished in no time, so I went back for a bit of a
shopping spree. πŸ™‚

Pictured above:
Heaps of blue 1 mg generic alprazolam (Xanax) tablets
Blister packs of Lexotan (Roche’s brand name bromazepam)

Opiate agonists
Blister packs of Mabron (generic Tramadol – sold under Ultram in the US)
Not pictured: Heaps of 30 mg codeine phosphate tablets (from two other
pharmacies – pictures only shows haul from last nite at My Favorite
Pharmacy in the Whole Fucking Wide World!)

Ionamin (phentermine resin) – will write a trip report soon. πŸ™‚

Plus, I can get diazepam, and other benzos and I haven’t taken a
look in his store room for other nice stuff too, will do that soon.
Hehehe! I will write a FULL REPORT in due time. My apologies if I sound
like I’m bragging, I’m not, I’m just tweaked on cheap speed substitutes

Don’t hate me just because I have a friend who has a pharmacy. πŸ˜‰

P/S – I wanted that sunny smiley in some people’s comments box but I
couldn’t find it so think of the πŸ˜‰ as that one ok? veritas over and
out and tweaked.

Malaysia: 30 mg codeine and 10 mg dihydrocodeine in MALAYSIA for 60 cents each!

400 mg paracetamol + 30 mg codeine

500 mg paracetamol + 10 mg dihydrocodeine

I woke up with a migraine yesterday morning, so I decided to call a
couple of pharmacies and see what they have. Pharmacy #1 only has
Panadeine, an obscene preparation containing 500 mg of
paracetamol/acetaminophen/APAP (they all refer to the same thing) plus
a decidedly meager 8 mg of codeine. Pharmacy #2 doesn’t sell any
restricted drugs, apparently codeine is “restricted drug” to them.
Pharmacy #3 sounds too good to be true – I called them and they said
they have two codeine preparations. The first one is Paralgin Forte and
when I asked about the exact concentrations, the answer nearly made me
drop the phone in surprise – 200 mg of paracetamol + 30 mg of codeine.
That sounds very nice indeed! =D Excuse me, I meant to say that it
sounds like that would do help with my migraine very well indeed. The
other one they have is an unknown tablet that contains 500 mg of liver
destroying paracetamol + 10 mg of dihydrocodeine. I told them I will be
down in an hours time. πŸ™‚

My last option was the internet and found a 30 mg tablet of Dihydrocodeine at which is used as an alternative to Codeine in the treatment of severe pain.

I had to write what that myself…

Same here…

Well, I went there with my gf and Anna later and yes, it was too
good to be true. The Paralgin Forte contains 400 mg of paracetamol
instead of the 200 mg they told me over the phone. Nevertheless, 400 mg
is better than 500 mg, so I bought a couple of them. They go for 60
cents each, which about 30 cents Australian. Anyway, just so I won’t
have to convert all the time:

RM 1 = A$ 0.50
A$1 = RM 2
Basically, half the RM (Ringgit Malaysia) prices for the Australian equivalent.

Dihydrocodeine tablets with RM 0.50 and A$ 0.50.

I bought 10 of the Paralgin Forte tablets for a nice 300 mg of
codeine. They cost 60 cents each, which I think is pretty cheap for a
tablet that has 30 mg of codeine. It is interesting to note that the
bottle says Codeine Phosphate 1 1/2 H20 – 30 mg. What’s with the 1 1/2
H20? Does it mean that codeine is soluble in 1 1/2 amounts of water or
does it mean something else? Pharmaceutical aficionados, I would appreciate it if you could shed some light here.

Codeine tablets with RM 0.50 and A$ 0.50.

Dihydrocodeine – front

Dihydrocodeine – back

Anyway, the other one they have contains 500 mg of paracetamol and
the inferior dihydrocodeine tartrate, which I haven’t tried before.
There’s only 10 mg of dihydrocodeine to the whopping 500 mg of
paracetamol, so ah…I think I might need to get some coffee filters next
time I have a migraine and have some cold water handy. πŸ˜‰

Well, the photographs of the photos are actually quite funny. I walked in, and this conversation ensued:

Me: Hello, I called just now regarding the migraine tablets?
Pharmacist: Oh yeah, I remember, let me just get the bottles.
She comes out with two large bottles, each containing 1000 tablets – nice…
I examined the bottles for a while and asked for 10 Paralgin Forte
tablets (60 cents each so that makes it RM 6) and 16 dihydrocodeine
tablets (RM 1 for 4 pills, so that makes it 16 pills to round the total
up to RM 10).

Me: This is going to sound like a strange request, but do you mind if I take a photo of the bottles before you put them away?
Pharmacist: That is indeed the strangest thing I’ve ever heard!
I’ve never had a customer make that request before. Why do you want
photos of the bottles?
Me: Well, I have a personal interest in these things.
This is the truth, but it’s the “wrong answer” when doing pharmacy
runs/doctor shopping. Sometimes, being economical with the truth is the
better policy as you can see below.

Pharmacist: *looks doubtful* Okay, I guess that wouldn’t do any harm, so go ahead.
I take photos of both the bottles.
Me: Hey thanks, I really appreciate you going out of your way to help me out.
Pharmacist: No problems…can I ask you a question? Are you taking them yourself?
Me: I am aware of the abuse potential of these things, I would only take them if I have a really bad migraine.
Pharmacist: That’s good to hear. You know, this is actually a
prescription item, so I’m not actually supposed to sell it to you
without one.
Me: I see. I appreciate that you would go out of your way to help me, I hope this doesn’t get you into any trouble.
Pharmacist: Nah, it’ll be alright, but it’ll be better if you
have a prescription before coming in next time. You can have these
today though.
Me: Thanks again, I appreciate your help. You have a nice day okay? Take care.
Pharmacist: Have a nice day.

I reckon it was that interest in taking photos of the bottle that
made that “SCRIPTER!!! SCRIPTER!!!” flashing light go off on my head. I
wasn’t scripting, I really did have a migraine, but yeah, add this bit
to the Tome of Doctor Shopping – don’t appear too interested in the
medications you’re trying to acquire. It’s normal to ask about side
effects etc but it’s not to start breaking out with the digicams and
asking permission to take photos of bottles inside a pharmacy, all the
while focusing on the 30 mg codeine part. Take care everyone.

Paralgin Forte – front.

Remember, pharmaceuticals are fun! πŸ™‚

Paralgin Forte – back.

P/S – SWIM consumed 4 tablets for a total of 120 mg codeine and
1,600 mg paracetamol (yuck), with benzodiazepines and had a very
positive experience, although the most common side effect (not itching,
the other one) was very strong. That person says that he only truly
appreciated codeine this time, and actually nodded off (he does not
have opiate tolerance at all) for a very pleasant experience, except
for the side effects. He might be writing a trip report in the near
future. Please do not mix benzodiazepines and codeine, that person had
a very responsible trip sitter.

The ugly

Flunitrazapam (Hypnodorm, Rohypnol, “roofies”) script.

I went to the doctor today and was prescribed flunitrazepam and
clobazam for my anxiety, panic attacks and insomnia. I’m supposed to
take the Frisium (clobazam) in mid-morning (10 mg) and Hypnodorm
(flunitrazepam) at night (1 mg). Both the prescriptions belong to the
benzodiazepine family and they are pretty rare. The campus pharmacy
doesn’t stock them so I had to head down to Clayton to get them from a
bigger pharmacy. Personal and other identifying details have mosaic
applied for privacy. Yes, I really do have severe anxiety.

Clobazam (Frisium) script.

Anyway, here’s a bit of information (compiled from various sources) about both the medications:


Hypnodorm (Flunitrazepam) bottle containing 30 tablets @ 1 mg each.

This is banned in the United States due to the hullabaloo about it
being a “date rape” drug. It is available in Australia for severe
insomnia “when all other options are exhausted”. It is Schedule 8 over
here (belongs to the same schedule as dexamphetamine) while most other
benzos are Schedule 4. Schedule 4 is “Prescription only drugs” while
Schedule 8 is “Drugs of Dependence/Addiction”. Schedule 8 prescriptions
are not easy to get due to the restricted nature, while Schedule 4 is

The scheduling into Schedule 8 is probably due to it’s notoriety as
a “date rape” drug, since a benzo is a benzo is a benzo and most
benzodiazepines are Schedule 4. However, this doesn’t mean that all
benzodiazepines “feel” the same, because they don’t, since every one
has a different affinity to different GABA binding sites.
Benzodiazepines have been compared to red wine in this sense, in that
you can “appreciate” the subtle differences between the different ones.
Flunitrazepam is marketed under Hypnodorm (generic) but it is more well
known under the name Rohypnol (F. Hoffman-La Roche). This is called
“roofies” on the street and due to the unfortunate media hype (search
for “date rape drug” and Flunitrazepam (Rohypnol) comes up, followed by
GHB – do not allow me to rant about this topic) it’s not available in
the US and it’s hard to get in most other countries as well.

The tablets are green and oval, with FM | 1 on the front and the alpha symbol on the back.

Flunitrazepam has a long half-life (18-26 hours) and it also has an
active metabolite (like Valium) that lasts 36-200 hours. Peak plasma
concentrations occur after 45 minutes, so this is one of the fast
acting benzodiazepines (like Xanax). 1 mg of Flunitrazepam is equal to
10 mg of Diazepam (Valium) or 0.5 mg of Clonazepam (Klonopin) and
Alprazolam (Xanax). It is marketed as a hypnotic (for insomnia).
Hypnodorm comes in a bottle of 30 tablets of 1 mg each. It’s not
available in other doses or sizes in Australia. 30 x 1 mg Flunitrazepam
tablets costs A$26.05 (RM 50) under my health coverage, which does not
cover prescription drugs, so I pay private (full price).


Clobazam (Frisium) pack containing 50 tablets @ 10 mg each.

This is another benzodiazepine that is not available in the United
States. It’s made by Hoechst and marketed under the name Frisium. This
is indicated for acute anxiety in Australia and it’s Schedule 4 like
most other benzos. An interesting tidbit about Clobazam is that it’s
the first anxiolytic (anti-anxiety) drug which belongs to the class of
1,5-benzodiazepine as opposed to the 1,4-benzodiazepine structure. This
makes it something of “historic value” to people who are interested.

This is a side view of the Frisium pack.

The different structure also makes it feel different from other
benzodiazepines, qualitative user comments mentions that the 1,5
structure makes it affect the motor functions much less than normal 1,4
benzodiazepines ie you don’t feel as physically impaired (stumbling
around etc). The half-life of Frisium is 12-60 hours and it’s marketed
as an anxiolytic and an anticonvulsant. Peak plasma concentrations
occur between 1-4 hours, so this makes it a slower acting
benzodiazepine (like Klonopin).

Frisium blister pack – front.

Frisium only comes in packs of 50 tablets containing 10 mg of
Clobazam each. The pack has 5 individual blister packs with 10 tablets
each. 20 mg of Clobazam is equivalent to 10 mg of Diazepam (Valium) and
0.5 mg of Alprazolam (Xanax) and Clonazepam (Klonopin). The pack I have
is the brand name one (Frisium) so it costs much more than generics
would. I paid A$36.15 (RM 70) for the pack of 50 x 10 mg tablets. This
is the private (full) price.

Frisium blister pack – back.

The comments to this post has been disabled. Please refrain
from commenting about this issue in the other comments box because I
prefer not to discuss this subject on the blog. You can email me if you have any pressing questions related to the post, I will answer every one. Thanks for understanding.

The tablets are white and round, with B | GL on the front and the Hoechst logo on the back.

Mini Drug Binge

This is a veritas post.

Substances consumed:
Methamphetamine (meth)
Dexamphetamine (Dexedrine)
Clonazepam (Klonopin)
Diazepam (Valium)
Cannabis (weed)
Ketamine (K)
P.subs (magic mushrooms)
Salvia Divinorum (Diviner’s Sage)
LSD (acid)
95% alcohol + cannabis (Green Dragon)

Infected Mushroom – None Of This Is Real []
(right click, save target as)
[6:25 minutes 128 KBPS STEREO 44.1KHZ 5.87 MB .mp3]


(Day 1 – Day 6)

This is the mysterious container…look down for more.

My love for this substance is not unknown, so there’s nothing much
to say here. I planned to go on a 3 day run, but some things came up
and I had to extend it. It wasn’t pretty towards the end. Eating only
dextroamphetamine sulfate tablets and water for days is making your
stomach endure things it’s not built for. I had to abort the run by the
fifth day, because I thought I was going to kick the bucket (again).
Angina, hypertension, couldn’t breath, very elevated body temperature,
sudden jabbing pains all over (someone diagnose this please), blah blah
you know the drill. The strangest thing was that I had swollen and red
hands and feet after drinking only a tiny bit of water. I think
most of the problems would not have occurred if I forced myself to have
(reasonable) water intake every few hours and eaten something. It’s a
useful drug for studies and work…in moderation. My attempt to terminate
the run did not succeed on the fifth day (with benzodiazepines), but I
managed to sleep on the sixth day. Meth was insufflated and dexies were
taken orally. There was an attempt to insufflate meth to try and keep
awake for the LSD visuals, but no amount could keep me awake after the
alcohol. πŸ™‚

Peppermint Peckers!

The tin is just nice for storing meth, crushing dexamphetamine tablets and shards of meth. Stimulants only please!

It looks sad…


(Day 5, Day 6)


I had 5 mg on the fifth day but it did not bring me to the place
called sleep. I stacked it with 20 mg diazepam after it that became
obvious, but it still didn’t push the issue into the agenda. I consumed
only 2 mg on the sixth day with 10 mg diazepam and alcohol, and was
asleep within hours. This benzodiazepine seems to have lost quite a bit
of its hypnotic effects for me. Sometimes it makes me feel drunk and
anxiety-free and happy like Xanax (alprazolam) does, and thus I stay up
with a contented grin, but not sleep.


(Day 5, Day 6)


This particular benzodiazepine makes me extra sleepy. I only have a
limited stash (now I have none :p) so I tend to squirrel it away for
the moments when I really need the hypnotic effects.


(Day 5, Day 6)


I smoked quite a few bowls of weed before the appetite suppressant
effects of meth/dex was overridden. I ate a normal sized meal on the
fifth day (with lots of candy) and another one on the sixth day. I use
the word bowl and cone interchangeably and by that, I mean the


(Day 5)


I attempted to potentiate the benzodiazepines on the fifth day with
ketamine to induce sleep. Approximately 100 mg was insufflated, it
didn’t k-hole me, and only minimal ketamine effects were felt. I don’t
know if it’s because of quality issues or other factors.

Ready when you are

Enter Marquis – Bubbling (?) but no color change

Enter Simons – No color change

Ketamine will not react with Marquis or Simons.

Caution: Please note that benzodiazepines in combination with ketamine may suppress breathing.

Psilocybe subaeruginosa

(Day 5)

Since I couldn’t sleep anyway, I thought “fuck it” and consumed some
magic mushrooms. πŸ™‚ Benzodiazepine’s disinhibiting effects might have
contributed to the decision to take several different substances on the
sixth day. I don’t know the amount of mushrooms that was taken, but it
was fairly fresh. It produced some minor visuals and lots of laughter.
I actually went to uni while under the influence. πŸ™‚ No paranoia was
noted, probably due to the clonazepam. I went with CT on a mushroom hunting trip last week and we shared the haul. The pictures from that trip is here:




Salvia Divinorum

(Day 5, Day 6)


This is 5X salvia extract, courtesy of CT aka My Generous
Friend. πŸ˜‰ I smoked some on the fifth day with a bong and a (dodgy)
lighter. It’s supposed to be smoked with a butane lighter, the sort
that produces a flame that burns hot and fast for maximum effects. I
did not notice anything except a mild “ketamine feeling” the first
time. I smoked it again during the mushroom trip and it produced some
nice visual distortions. The best one is the way the area where two
walls come together began to flow downwards like a waterfall. What is
with me and waterfalls on mushrooms anyway? I would like to try it
again with a butane lighter and no other substances to get a feel for
this herb.

Caution: Salvia Divinorum is illegal in Australia.


(Day 6)


I also dropped a tab of acid on the morning of the sixth day. I
don’t know what lead to this decision…I was just sitting there, doing
some revision and unable to sleep when I thought:

“You know…a tab of acid would be great right now. I wonder if it would give me greater insight into this revision I’m doing.”

Duh. πŸ™‚ It didn’t, but it sure was fun. I was tired as fuck though,
and hurting all over, and I was expecting a bad trip, but it was a good
one. This is the Buddha tabs that I had written about previously. That
one and the amanita muscaria report made “Erowid’s Recommended Report”.
=D It did hurt the site’s bandwidth though, due to the direct linked
images. But hey, it got Erowid’s Recommended Report! πŸ™‚

Anyway, I think this is a different batch from the previous
one. It looked smaller than the previous tabs and the cardboard was not
as easily dissolvable as the previous one. It seemed (qualitatively)
weaker too. However, there was an incident regarding this which might
have caused that. I put them into my other stash drawer WHICH IS RIGHT
BESIDE THE HEATER! LSD is sensitive to heat, and I only realized after
noticing that the drawer is kinda warm after an hour or so, and moved
it to another place. It still is psychoactive, but sadly, the strength
of the LSD seems to have been reduced.

It’s not dissolving…

There wasn’t any paranoia on this either, probably due to the
clonazepam. The clonazepam was also responsible for making me search 30
minutes for the acid tabs after I dropped it, only to find it was right
beside me all along. The best visual from this trip was right when I
was about to sleep…I found the pillow occupied by large and transparent
organisms. It’s the ones that we learnt in high school Science…the
ones that are one class above single cell organisms. They weren’t
moving, but once in a while they would wave their feelers around a bit.
It made me a bit wary about sleeping on the pillow. πŸ™‚

95% alcohol + cannabis

(Day 6)

The (190) proof is in the pudding

I made a batch of this last year and found it to be weak, so I made
another batch this year and put more cannabis into it. 95% alcohol
(sold as Everclear in the US) is available in a few bottle shops here.
I don’t know the legal status of spirits with this strength, but I
don’t think it’s illegal. It is hard to find though, I haven’t seen it
displayed anywhere, I had to ask for it by name and it was produced
from the storeroom.


Basically, you put (finely shredded) cannabis into the bottle and
let it sit around for a few weeks. I recommend filtering the mixture
after that because I got a mouthful of soggy (really soggy) weed and
nearly retched. I can’t describe the texture, but I didn’t like it. πŸ™‚
Alcohol was the magic ingredient, it put me right to sleep when
combined with benzos. Benzodiazepines alone have consistently failed to
produce the appropriate hypnotic effects for me now. Alcohol is the
missing link,

“And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made; and
he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made.”

Genesis 2:2

The draft of this document is here:
Mini Drug Binge v.beta []

My apologies, this isn’t well written at all, but I do have exams
coming up too, you know. Contrary to popular belief, taking drugs is
not my day job! πŸ™‚

Guide to coming down off meth and speed

It has been x days since you’ve slept and eaten. You’ve either
exhausted your supply of meth or your tolerance is getting so high,
you’ve decided to reserve the remainder of the stash for another day.
You’re jumping at shadows, constantly looking behind your shoulder at
non-existent people who’re out to get you, startled at sudden noises,
and a friend tapping your shoulder is likely to make you jump out of
your skin. The good effects of meth is over, but sleep is still
impossible. What happens now?

1. Do you have a benzodiazepine (Valium, Xanax, Klonopin etc)?


Yes. Go to 2.
No. Can’t help you much. If you have weed, smoke some to help you eat, otherwise force yourself to eat and drink yourself to sleep.

2. Do you have alcohol?


Yes. Go to 3.
No. Take more benzos and go to 3.

3. Do you have cannabis (weed, grass, pot)?


Yes. Go to 4.
No. Take the benzos and alcohol. Try to force yourself to eat and go to sleep.

4. You’re set for the perfect comedown!

My personal preference for a comedown benzodiazepine is clonazepam
(Klonopin). This is due to its relatively long duration and the anticonvulsant
[] properties. The first one will ensure that you won’t
suddenly wake up in the middle of the night and will help you stay
sedated for quite a long time. The second one is very nice
after long meth runs, due to the muscle aches and other associated
problems. I noticed that it’ll also relax your muscles very noticeably,
which is conducive for relaxation and sleep. πŸ™‚

The only issue related to clonazepam is the long time it takes to
kick in (for some people). It can take 1-2 hours, but personally, I’ve
never noticed that it takes that long! Don’t worry about it if
you just came off a meth run, chances are, you’ve not eaten anything,
so your stomach will be so empty that absorption happens really
quickly! Personally, it only takes 15-30 minutes max for it to kick in
after meth runs. I do not like Valium (diazepam) because it has an
active metabolite that stays in you for quite a long time. Xanax
(alprazolam) has a short half life (read the part about waking up in
the middle of the night). However, feel free to pick and mix benzos if
the situation warrants it. =D Please know the benzodiazepine
equivalency dosages before mixing! I recommend taking a higher dose of
the long lasting benzos and a lower dose of the short acting benzos.
I’ve taken 2 mg Xanax + 10 mg Valium + 3 mg Klonopin combos to put me
into slumber land within minutes. Heh.

Optional: Multivitamin and mineral supplement.


Here’s what I usually do:

Cook some food if you need to. You’ll be really tired after your run so
I recommend something easy like ramen, but it’ll be best to have
something pre-cooked (like a take away rice box) in the fridge which
you can just reheat in the microwave.
Wash your bong and fill it with water. Shred an amount of weed you want
to smoke. Load the cone with one hit to be ready. Put lighter beside

1. Take benzodiazepines (personally, I take 4 mg clonazepam – change the dosage according to personal tolerance) with water.
2. Take a shower. By the time you’re done the clonazepam (or your benzo of choice) should have taken effect.
3. Start drinking beer. I don’t recommend liquor because it’s easy to
drink too much and end up with a hangover. Also, be careful when
combining alcohol and benzodiazepines. My personal limit is to never
exceed a 6-pack, but YMMV.
4. Cook your food or even better, reheat your pre-cooked meal. It’s
worthy to mention that during your meth run, your body has gone into
starvation mode from not being fed anything except water. Thus,
anything you eat after will
be put into your fat stores in anticipation of the next starvation
period. This is not an issue if you do meth very often, but it might be
of interest to people who are conscious of their weight. I recommend
taking one meal that is the usual size of what you normally eat for a
meal, don’t exceed that and you’ll be fine.
5. Put on a no-brainer stoner type movie or TV series. Just anything
that you don’t need to think about that’s easy to watch and you don’t
mind watching halfway. I recommend short TV episodes like South Park.
6. Smoke cannabis. Fast. πŸ˜‰ There should be no meth related paranoia
present due to the wonderful benzodiazepines you’ve consumed.
7. Eat your food before it gets cold. πŸ™‚ (Optional: If you have a
multivitamin supplement, take it when you’re 1/4 into your food. It
gets absorbed better with food.)
8. You should be very ready to sleep by the time you’re done eating. =D

Sweet, sweet comedowns. You’ll probably be bumping into stuff and
all that while having a sleepy, contented smile on your face. It is
possible to wake up 8 hours later, but that’s not the best way to
recover. I’ll allocate at least 12 hours for sleeping on this one.
You’ll be feeling fine again the next day, ready to tweak again (hmm…)
or even better, make sure that the next day is free so you can just
relax around and drink some beer (not till you get a hangover) and
sleep again for a perfect recovery when you wake up again! πŸ™‚

This is based on personal experience and thus, it may not be a good idea for everyone.

Combining benzodiazepines and alcohol in large amounts can be dangerous
and possibly fatal! Know your limits and don’t exceed it!

Additional info site:
While there are a number of remedies available after a drinking binge or a drug high, alcohol and drug addiction treatment remains the best remedy available.

REAL TIME Pill Review – Pink Bird (Melbourne)

Afternote: I’m terribly sorry everyone. This is so juvenile
and stupid. This is a serious lack of forethought on my part. I suck so
much. I’m a sorry excuse for a human being. Look at me, feeling sorry
for myself. “I can’t help it, it’s the chemical imbalance going on
right now in my brain”. There I go again, always with the
justification. I hate myself. I’m feeling so depressed right now. I
took this pill (sold as ketamine) because I felt like some ketamine to
end my night. “Better living through chemistry”, I tell myself.
“Limiting my legal liability, it’s been sitting in my drawer for ages”,
I tell myself. Excuses, excuses. Is this ketamine? Felt like it, but
only MDMA (Ecstasy) makes me feel this horrible and depressed. I’m
smelling lavender everywhere. Lavender makes me depressed. I still
can’t think very well, but I’m sorry for posting such a stupid thing.
Please don’t read it. Feel free to flame me and call me names. I
deserve it. I’m useless. I’ve ruined the image of every responsible and
intelligent recreational user. I’m not fishing for your sympathy or
pity, don’t feel sorry for me, everything I do willingly is my
responsibility. I’m so sleepy right now. I’m going to sleep. I want to
throw up. Horrible depression, leave me be. Fuck it, everything sounds
wrong. Nothing but whine whine whine. I’m sorry for disappointing
everyone who reads my posts and I understand if you’ve lost your
respect for me. “It sounded like a good idea at the time”. Story of my
life. πŸ™


wowo typing that title sure was fun. hehehe.i was writing muy
personal trip report when i thought HEY! why not write a rREAL TIME
trip report fora change! hehehe
won’t that be a hoot!
eh i’;m altrady logged in and i didn’t know hahaha!

[Edit: I accidentally lost (wrote over) part of the opening
paragraph while updating. This real time
constant-update-as-things-progress idea isn’t so good after all.]

Pill Name: Pink Bird
Color: Pink with white spots
Location: Melbourne
Contents: Sold as a ketamine/speed combo pill – not sure, first
time I heard speed/ketamine combo and second time I heard ketamine
only. My fault for not clearing things up.

if uou’re blind (i won’t blame you though πŸ™‚ ) here’s the scanned pill front phottoshooped to show the outline of the bird

oh boy the images will be a challenge to do
i’m going to past the trip report i had just now and put it here:
oh this is so NOT FUNNY
by the way this is not the trip report dump
talking about how i logged out and lost some stuff
and next thing I DID IT AGAIN and lopst more stuff
real time is not so good after all
okay back to this, i was in the middle of the keeping the log when i
suddenly thought, why not do a REAL TIME one???? the prevpipus one all
are posted after, because of legal issues.

pill front taken with a digicam (macro mode) – pill is thick

ok here it is:
thick pill
pink with white spots
solid – hard pressed and hard to crush
no bevel or split
turn down red coz its very pink
and phewwwwwwwweeeeeeee
did it burn
ouch! fuck! fuck! fuck!
i snorted a big line and my eyes watered. should have crushed it finer.
theyshould have made it crumblier
its a k pill for fucks sake…why make it so solid when its meant to be crushed
scanned back of the pill. this is not part of the trip report, i
just chucked in in so you won’t have to read huge amounts of text
without some pics. hahaha! this is the pill’s back. wat do you see?
nothing? you’re right. no detail on the back

and snorted?
ouch! just had another line. wonder if its the granules or additives that made it

burn so bad. my eyes watered! i didn’t heve that problem even with my poorly

crushed dexamphetamine tablets.
third line
*eyes watering*
fourth line
oh man, i think i’m doing my sinuses some serious damage but i want to get it up

fast, so it’s all about fast fast fast snorting, don’t think, alternate nostrils,
this is a picture of the crushed pill. photo, not scan. not part of original trip report
and up it goes
oh…i’m feeling ketamine’s effects now. whoa. πŸ™‚
okay gonna clear my nasal passages now
eyes watering and i’m still not done with the pill
the watery eyes adds to the trippy k “visuals”
oh its definately the cut
fucking hell i’m on to ya
the makers of the pill put something that they know will burn going up
tats coz tehy want to make your eyes water
its fune to type
i’m crying
tears flow flow flow

not part of the original trip report. this is a picture, taken in
macro mode to schow you the size of the pill besie an A#2 coin

hmm hmmm hmmmmmmmmmmmm
dum dum dum
em em eme em em
emmm ememmmmm
ticka ticka ticka
tsk tsk tsk
doop doop doop
thats the music i’m listening to now
written in words so you can listen to it too
music doesn;t sound right but typing is fun coz i have to correct the spelling mistakes i maaaaaaaake =D
but itssssssssssssssss whoops didn’t mean to do that
gonna do pics now
eh now that the ketamine effects have passed this is getting silly. oh well.

photo of the pill back taken with digicam in macro mode

I don’t know if there’s speed in there, can’t really tell, but I
feel able to sleep. Now I’m not sure it’s ketamine as well coz it made
me feel very depressed. πŸ™ I’ve only experienced this horrible
depression on MDMA (Ecstasy) before. I’m sobering up and this is
stupid. Everything sucks.

I’ve been down this road
In the end it’s all the same
Another day I’m getting older
Another day nothing has changed.
I’ve been down this road
I’m wrong when I know I’m right
Hard pressed to make it better and I’ve got no will to fight.
Think out loud things I want to change,
but I know I never will I’m gonna stay this way
Is this my great reward, servitude and solitude,
a lifetime of chances I have blown?
I woulda coulda shoulda been so much more than I really am,
and it’s nobody else’s fault but my own.

Zero Down – Down This Road

[Final update (07:15 AM): It was probably ketamine +
(possibly) speed after all. Qualitative evaluation of ketamine content
in the pill suggests that it is low compared to the white ? pills
[]. The presence of (meth)amphetamines cannot be confirmed
due to reasons I choose not to state (but you can probably figure out).
Depression is not so bad now, inconsistant with MDMA type depression.
Sleep is possible but unfeasible (poor quality) without benzos. This
may be due to other factors. Booya would be unimpressed by my reversion
to ‘clinical’ assessment. πŸ˜‰ If you’re wondering, no, I don’t take
substances every day. I would be appalled myself if that were true. πŸ™‚
The LSD consumption was recent but it wasn’t yesterday. I usually post
reports after the substance has been consumed for legal and
literature (writing and photo compiling takes time) reasons. Unless, I
specifically use chronological words like “yesterday”, “last night”,
“just now” etc in the post, the average lag between comsumption and
posting is 2-3 days. It’s usually 1 day (the day after) but it can be
much longer than that. I do have “report banks” as in I’ve half-written
but not posted some reports. This is either due to wanting more
experience (eg a fourth experience in the case of a unposted DXM
compilation), a lack of significance (eg the “I swear my Xanax pills
have legs and a mind of its own” post about disappearing pills) or
plain laziness (eg incomplete “Cooking with Cannabis” post). Just FYI.
πŸ™‚ Should my reports be dated (ie consumption date)? What do you think?]

Project Doctor Shopping I – Project Deep Sedation

Project Doctor Shopping

Episode I – Project Deep Sedation

The Quest for the Holy Benzodiazepine

Happy days are here again

Success rating chart:

0/5 Nothing
1/5 No recreational pharmaceuticals
2/5 Small amount of benzodiazepines
3/5 Medium amount of benzodiazepines
4/5 Large amount of benzodiazepines
5/5 Permanent script

Let us dream and sleep tonight

Note: This is very long, but if you read everything, I’ll love you so much! Thanks! πŸ™‚


Recreational drug user branching into doctor shopping

Mr. Breathing Exercises
New age guy who’s very interested in breathing exercises

Benzo Nazi
Doctor who is very stingy with benzodiazepines

Benzo Gestapo
Doctor who lectures you about the evils of benzos before very reluctantly prescribing

The Angel
Nice counselor who would be very helpful if you really have problems. God bless you.

Benzo Messiah
Doctor who breaks out with the script, no questions asked

Note:Identifying clinic names have been changed to XXX and doctor’s real names have been replaced with pseudonyms.

Part I Mr. Breathing Exercises

Location: University of XXX Counseling Service

I walked into the place because it’s free and they have clinical
psychiatrists which I assumed would be able to script me some benzos. A
counselor invited me into his room and talked to me about my ‘anxiety
problem’. I told him I’ve had panic attacks before and I’m feeling
anxious and unable to sleep recently and I nearly had a panic attack
again so that’s why I came in today. I said I was just lying in bed and
for no reason my heart started pounding really hard and I couldn’t
breath. I thought I was going to have a heart attack and I felt sure I
was going to die.

During all that, I kept fidgeting and tried to look strung out and
anxious. The counselor said it sounds like I have a very bad anxiety
problem and wanted to teach me some breathing exercises. I wanted to
steer the conversation to medication so I casually mentioned that I was
prescribed Valium when I had a bad panic attack a couple of years ago.
I didn’t say it like that, it was like “Hmm…I was given something
called…hmm…I think it was called Valium? and it really helped me a
lot”. He said “Oh, that’s good, but I’m not a doctor so I can’t script
you anything”.

At that point, I was ready to walk out the door, but out of
politeness, I didn’t. He taught me breathing exercises to help control
my ‘panic attacks’. After 15 minutes he looked at the clock and said
“Oh, we have 30 minutes left so let me teach you another technique”.
God save me…I was just here to bum a script. Well, the counselor was a
nice guy so I just smiled and nodded politely when he taught me ways to
control my ‘anxiety disorder’. Do you feel calmer now? Yeah it really
work’s doesn’t it? Yes, yes I said while thinking “Can I please go
now?”. πŸ™‚ He’s a really nice dude though, so I didn’t want to be rude.


My handwriting is very distinctive, so…

A card with a list of things to do to control my ‘anxiety disorder’

Cost of consultation: A$0 – it’s a free service

Cost of medication: N/A

Success rating: -1/5
That’s for making me sit for 15 minutes practising breathing exercises!

Part II Benzo Nazi Visit #1

Location: University of XXX Health Service

This time I went to a real GP (doctor) at the university’s clinic. I
didn’t change my story from the first experiment but I embellished it a
bit. I said I had several panic attacks that I couldn’t control and I
checked myself into a hospital once because I really thought I was
going to die. I also mentioned I haven’t slept for several days and I
have a recurring anxiety problem. The doctor said not many Malaysian
students come in for anxiety problems and said it’s great that I would.
I said I wouldn’t come in too, except I had a really bad panic attack
yesterday and it’s affecting my studies. I stressed on the fact that I
couldn’t sleep and asked if there’s anything that would help me sleep
coz things gets strange after a while when I don’t sleep. I also said I
was given Valium before and it helped a lot with sleep.

Doctor: Have you ever taken any drugs? Ecstasy? Marijuana?
Me: No, I don’t take drugs. (lying through my teeth but maintaining eye contact)
Doctor: Do you go to clubs? Raves?
Me: No. (lying through my teeth and maintaining eye contact but wondering wtf this has got to do with anything)
Doctor: Do you drink alcohol?
Me: No…well, only during special occasions like Chinese New Year.
(again lying through my teeth but added an extra bit for realism)
Doctor: Well, I’m going to put you on something that’s going to help
you with the anxiety and panic attacks. Let me see if I have a sample

The doctor goes out of the room while I cross my fingers and hope
for benzos. The doctor comes in with: Zoloft (sertraline). Oh man…that
has zero recreational potential. I was trying to discourage him from
that and asked “Does it have any side effects?”. He said “Yes, there’s
quite a few” and told me about it. I tried to look doubtful but he said
he wants to try this before anything else. He said that even though it
might increase my anxiety as first, I should not stop taking one every
morning. I did not take any of course.

Temazepam tablets

He then reached into a drawer and gave me three tablets in a blister
pack. “Here, this is to help you sleep”. I wanted to smile so badly coz
it’s almost certainly benzos but I kept a poker face and asked again
“Does it have any side effects?”. Just for the sake of realism you
know. He said not to take it with alcohol and only take one a day. He
also told me to come back again next week and tell me how it goes.

Temazepam blister pack – back view

I thanked him and could barely walk out of the room before reaching
into my pocket and reading the blister pack. Temazepam. 10 mg tablets
marked under Normison. Woo hoo, that’s better than nothing. I had it with some alcohol and cannabis [] and it felt great.



7 x 50 mg Zoloft (sertraline) – no recreational potential

Temazepam blister pack – front view

3 x 10 mg Normison (temazepam) – a benzodiazepine

Cost of consultation: A$0 – used Medibank Private (health insurance)

Cost of medication: FREE

Success rating: 2.5/5
The extra 0.5 is coz it was free! πŸ™‚

Part III Benzo Gestapo

Location: XXX Road Clinic

Disappointed at the meager returns from my previous endeavors, I
decided a change in story is required. This time I didn’t use my
Medibank Private health insurance. That is because my personal
information and medical history is inside and I was planning to tell a
WHOPPER of a story this time. I filled in my details as Tan Kim Leong
and put a fake address and waited in the waiting room. A nurse came out
soon after.

Nurse: “Kim? Kim Leong?”
Me: (thinking) Who the hell is that guy who’s holding up the line?
Nurse: “Do we have a Kim Leong in here?”
I looked around the room.
I was the only Asian.
The nurse looked at me
Nurse: “Kim?”
I gave her a blank look.
Nurse: “Are you Kim?”
Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck! I put Kim Leong down as my name! Stupid me! I didn’t even remember that! /kicks myself
Me: “Yeah, I’m Kim, sorry to have kept you waiting. I kinda zoned out a bit there.”
Nurse: “That’s okay, come on in”

Note to self: If you’re going to use a fake name, at least REMEMBER it, dumbass!

I went into the doctor’s office and told the doctor that I arrived in Melbourne on Wednesday (it was a Friday then).

Doctor: How can I help you?
Me: Well…..I had a bit of a…I guess you can call it a nervous breakdown about a month ago and I had to go to the hospital.
Doctor: What happened?
Me: Nothing, I was just sitting there, eating with my family when I
totally freaked out. I thought I was going to die. My heart was
pounding so hard and I couldn’t breath and the walls seem to close in
on me. I was so convinced I was going to die! The people at the
hospital refered me to a GP and I was diagnosed with panic disorder.
I’ve been put on this medication called…Klonopin I think it was. It’s a
round blue tablet with a K inside and I’m supposed to take it once a
Doctor: Klonopin. Let me check the database. Ah, its clonazepam. What happened then?
Me: Well, I came here on Wednesday and I had a month’s worth of tablets
with me and the customs officer seized it coz I didn’t have an
Australian doctor’s prescription. I didn’t even want to come to a
doctor but I couldn’t sleep and I had a very bad panic attack so I
called my mom and she called my doctor and the doctor said not to stop
taking it suddenly and asked me to see someone here. I tried to go to a
pharmacist but they said I had to get a doctor’s prescription.
(Man, I’m telling absolute whoppers here)
Doctor: Hmm…well that’s a very bad drug.
Me: Why is that? (pretending to be ignorant)
Doctor: It’s addictive
Me: IT’S ADDICTIVE?!?!? The doctor didn’t tell me that! (a bit of overacting but to keep the image right, you understand)
Doctor: Yeah, its very bad for you. I’ll teach you some breathing exercises to help control your panic attacks.

Oh God…not again…

Anyway, after the longest 10 minutes I ever experienced, the doctor
said, I’ll script you some tablets, but only take them if it’s

Doctor: (coming really close and looking me in the eye) Do you take
drugs? Amphetamines? Speed? Ecstasy? Heroin? Marijuana? LSD? (he
rattled off dozens of drug names and street terms, I’m not kidding!)
Me: (forcing myself to look straight into his eye) No, I don’t take drugs and I never have.

I was expecting lightning to strike me down on the spot. Please forgive me God. πŸ™‚

I put mosiac on the address coz it’s just some address I passed by
while on my way to the clinic. It belongs to someone else, so I didn’t
want to show it. Also edited out the script number and doctor’s
signature. Don’t want to cause anyone any problems. Needless to say, my
real name is not Tan Kim Leong πŸ™‚

Well, after that he broke out his script pad and he said it’s not the
same ones I got, but it’s similar in action. He reiterated the
addictive nature of benzos and told me to use the breathing exercises
instead of the tablets unless its absolutely necessary. He scripted me
20 x 5 mg Valium (diazepam) tablets.

I went to the pharmacist to cash in my script and got 50 x 5 mg
tablets instead of 20 x 5 mg tablets! The mind BOGGLES! The script
clearly said:
Diazepam tablets (5 mg)
Quantity: 20 (TWENTY)

The pill container said it contains 50 x 5 mg tablets. I took every
pill out and counted it and sure enough there were 50 inside! What
luck! Thank you Soul Pattinson Chemist for making a mistake giving me
20 extra tablets! That’s 50 mgs extra diazepam goodness. Haha!


Antenax – generic Valium (diazepam). That’s not my real name.

50 x 5 mg Antenax (generic Valium) (diazepam)

Cost of consultation: A$35 – didn’t use Medibank Private to support my whopper of a story

Cost of medication: A$10.65

Success rating: 3/5

Part IV The Angel

Location: XXX Community Mental Health Services and Counseling

This one looks promising. I went inside and made an appointment to
see a psychiatrist. A psychiatrist came out soon and invited me to her
office. She was very friendly and emphatic (psychiatrists are trained
that way) and I felt sorry about telling her my whopper of a story. It
was the same one I told in Part #3 Benzo Gestapo. She was extemally
symphetathic and was very apologetic because she said there are no
doctors here so she couldn’t script me the Klonopins. She was very
helpful and showed me where to go (because my whopper of a story said I
just came here two days ago) and kept on saying how terrible it was to
be under such stress right after coming here and how sorry she was for

She went out of her second floor office and walked with me to show
me where the nearest clinic was. I felt really, really bad at this
point coz I was just faking a story to get a script and she bought it.
πŸ™ She even walked with me the other way to show me where the
pharmacist was so I can cash my script after I get it. πŸ™ That was
beyond the line of duty. I’m sorry! I was lying just to get a script
but your empathy is not wasted. I shower your firstborn with blessings
from the bottom of my heart. Thank you very much, you’re a very good
counselor and I’m sure your real patients think the same and appreciate

Sympathy and a sincere respect for counselors

Cost of consultation: A$0 – they don’t charge

Cost of medication: N/A

Success rating: 0/5

Part V Benzo Nazi Visit #2

Location: University XXX University Health Service

I had made an appointment for one week after the first visit so here
I am again. It’s free anyway. I told the doctor I still hasn’t been
able to sleep and the Zoloft made me so nauseous I could not bare to
take it after 5 days. I got that side effect from
[] – the scripter’s friend. πŸ™‚ It was the highest incidence
among test subjects so I had already decided to use that excuse.

Doctor: What about the tablets for sleep? Did you finish that?
Me: (thinking) Of course I did, ate them on the same day with alcohol and cannabis even.
Me: (saying) No, I only took two because it didn’t help me sleep at all.

Why did I say that?

1.Saying I didn’t take all meant I’m not a benzo abuser

2.It also says that temazepam is not strong enough for me so hopefully a more powerful benzo will be prescribed

Front of brand name Valium blister pack

Well, the doctor said he’s going to put me on something new and went
out to get a sample pack. He came back with a box of Aropax
(paroxetine). -.- For crying out loud…why doesn’t he just script me
benzos. I was obviously steering him towards it. Now I’ve gotta give a
reason as to why I can’t take Aropax. Anyway, if you didn’t know, stuff
like Zoloft and Aropax is not recreational. You just don’t get high off
them but it has valid therapeutic uses.

Good thing he also gave me 3 x 5 mg Valium (diazepam) for sleep so
the trip was not a total waste. Everything was free anyway, so I can’t
complain. He told me to take the Aropax the same way and said its not a
first line defense against anxiety disorder so I’ll have to see him
next week again and see how it goes.


Back of brand name Valium blister pack

3 x 5 mg Valium (diazepam)

Aropax (paroxetine)

10 x 20 mg Aropax (paroxetine) – no recreational value

Cost of consultation: A$0 – Medibank Private insurance

Cost of medication: FREE

Success rating: 2.5/5
Again, the extra 0.5 coz it’s free.

Part VI Benzo Messiah

Location: XXX Medical Clinic

This one has a large sign behind the counter which says:

We DO NOT prescribe:
Or any other benzodiazepine and narcotics

This doesn’t sound good at all. I filled up the new patient form
anyway and put my faith in my acting abilities. I was so dumb as to
write my real family name at first. Force of habit, ya know. I crossed
it out several times before putting Tan Boon Hock as my alias. The
receptionist took one look at my crossed out form and regarded me with
extreme suspicion. Oops!

I had to wait a long time too coz this clinic was very busy. I
noticed that each patient was with the doctor for only 3 minutes! Isn’t
that amazing? Anyway, it was soon my turn and this time I remembered my
alias. :p It was Tan Boon Hock if you want to know. Heh! Well, I went
to the doctor’s office and told him about my problem.

It was the same “customs confiscated my Klonopin” story except I now
said I had been diagnosed with panic disorder for a year and I have
been on clonazepam for 8 months (instead of the previous 2 weeks
story). Personally, I think that this a better cover story because you
can get seizures and other withdrawal symptoms if you suddenly stop
from a long term course of benzos.

Why am I so keen on clonazepam? Well, I have easy access of Xanax
(alprazolam) when I’m in Malaysia and I take that often then so I
wanted something different. Clonazepam is the same strength to
alprazolam when compared milligram to milligram but clonazepam doesn’t
take effect until 1-2 hours while alprazolam is pretty mush instant.
However, clonazepam lasts heaps longer, and I haven’t had it before so
I’m keen to try it.

Anyway, the doctor says he’s not familiar with Klonopin and flipped
through some drug database book. I didn’t want to say clonazepam coz
that makes it sounds like I’m too familiar with the drug. I wanted to
play the ignorant patient, not the knowledgeable scripter. I said it’s
a blue pill with a K shape inside. I could say K shaped perforation,
but that doesn’t fit the ignorant patient image does it?

Doctor: Ah, I’ve found it! It must be this one. Clonodine.
Me: (thinking) Oh my God, no, that’s an anti-hypertensive for high blood pressure.
Me: (speaking) No, that’s not the one. It’s K-l-o-n-o-p-i-n.
Doctor: It could be this one, things may be under different brand names over here. I’ll write a script for you.


Time for something drastic!

Me: Hmm…er, I think…I THINK its also called clonazepam. I’m not sure though.
Doctor: Ah! Clonazepam. Let me read the book and see if I’m allowed to prescribe that.
(riffling for a while)
Doctor: Yes, I’ll write a script for that. How much did you say you’re taking again?
Me: (thinking) Yes! Yes! Yes! Wipe that smile off your face before you give yourself away.
Me: (speaking) I was taking it twice a day.

Doctor writes Paxam (generic clonazepam) and 100 tablets on the script.

/me shouts for joy. Again script numbers, doctor’s signatures and such have been applied a mosiac.

Not out loud of course.

Doctor: How many mgs were the tablets? 2 mg?
Me: I don’t know, it was a blue pill. (FUCKING OVERACTING! WHY COULDN’T I JUST SAY YES?)
Doctor: Hmm…there’s no blue pill in the book.
Me: Well, I just take a blue pill twice a day.
(I wanted to say 2 mg then but I didn’t want to blow it by sounding like I had “drug seeking tendencies”)
Doctor: Twice a day? It could be 0.5 mg then.

Doctor writes 0.5 mg next to Paxam.

I curse the most obscene obscenities in my head.

Me: Thank you very much doctor.
Doctor: No worries, just get the pharmacy to call me if they have problems with the script. Okay? Good.

And then he rushed out to see the next patient.
Total time spent: 3 minutes

I love this doctor, he’s so busy that he just wants to work through the patients quickly.

From now on, I dub thee DR. FEELGOOD. I know who to visit next time
I want some benzos. Thanks doctor, you made me feel so much better
already. Hell, I’m practically cured from my ‘anxiety disorder’. πŸ˜‰


Clonazepam love

100 x 0.5 mg Paxam (generic Klonopin) (clonazepam)

Cost of consultation: A$45 (!) but it’s worth it coz the street prices would be much higher

Cost of medication: A$18.85

Success rating: 4.5/5
The extra 0.5 coz it’s very possible to get a permanent script off Dr. Feelgood.

I’m still kicking myself over not saying yes when he asked whether
it was 2 mg. πŸ™ I could have 200 mg of clonazepam goodness instead of a
comparatively paltry 50 mg. Did you know that I said “Fuck, I’m so
stupid” loudly and countless times while walking to the pharmacy? Oh,
the lost chance to get 100 x 2 mg clonazepam. πŸ™ Seriously, I did that.
People must have thought I was fuckin bonkers…

Oh well, at least I got 100 x 0.5 mg. 100 x 0.5 mg comes up to 50 mg
of clonazepam so that’s nothing to sniff about. That’s 20 doses
assuming you take 5 mg + alcohol + cannabis.

Project Deep Sedation
Episode I
The Quest for the Holy Benzodiazepine



100 x 0.5 mg clonazepam (Klonopin)
50 x 5 mg diazepam (Valium)
3 x 10 mg temazepam (Restoril)
3 x 5 mg diazepam (Valium)

You have to be economical with the truth especially when they ask you
about any drug usage. This is a red flag that you could be a scripter.

Use your health insurance card sparingly. They collate information
and if they happen to notice you’re seeing different doctors and
getting scripts for restricted drugs off them all you’re going to be
flagged as doctor shopping.

Don’t cash scripts at the same pharmacy. You would look very
suspicious if you went up with a fistful of scripts for benzos from
different doctors.


10 mg Temazepam tablets (Normison)

Temazepam is a short acting benzodiazepine that’s usually prescribed
for short term treatment of insomnia. I recently aquired 3 x 10mg
tablets for some quality relaxation. No, I didn’t get it from the
streets (there is black market here coz heroin users inject temazepam
to potentiate the effects of heroin) but from a doctor! I got it for
free too, I’ll tell you all the story one day. It’s part of this
project from a GP for my ‘sleep disorder’. [Edit: After reading
it again, I have no idea about what I was going on about here. I think
I wanted to tell you about the project but suddenly switched trains of
thoughts to “I got it from my GP for a ‘sleeping disorder'”. heh! I
feel my short term memory going already. Very, very nice.
Euphoria…)hehehe! I’ll tell you the story behind that one day. It’s
part of a project (codename: PROJECT DEEP SEDATION) that I’m currently
working on. I’ll write that up in the near future after the project is

Front view of the blister pack

Anyway, about temazepam. The ones I got are manufactured by Sigma
Pharmeceuticals (I passed by their Melbourne factory a couple of days
ago…too bad I didn’t take a photo then) and are called Normison. They
contain 10 mg of temazepam in each tablet. The tablets are white, with
no score. It has a ‘double twin peak’ imprint on one side. The tablets
are very, very slim and small. I have yet to see tablets slimmer than
these ones. The size is even smaller than the gas release button on
cigarette lighters.

Well, I took all 3 tablets for a total of 30 mg and drank quite a few shots of this 95% stuff + cannabis
[] on an empty stomach. I haven’t had any benzodiazepines
for about a month. The last time was a couple of Valiums with heroin
[]. I didn’t think 30 mgs would do it for me, since I have
quite a high tolerance to benzodiazepines. My ‘normal dose’ would be
2.5 mg of Xanax (alprazolam) with a six pack of beer to feel buzzed.
Thus, I combined it with alcohol and smoked a couple of bowls of
cannabis for further sedation. πŸ™‚

Back view of the blister pack

Anyway, it feels very nice. I can’t remember half the things that
happened just a minute ago. It’s euphoric, very much so. My apologies
for being slightly incoherant and confusing. Forgive me if I’m
over-enthusiastic. This just feels so good. So sedating…All this
happened just an hour and half ago and I’m feeling like happy jelly
now, sitting on my chair and nearly slouching off the chair. πŸ™‚ Jelly.
It’s very sedating with the euphoria that’s comparable to Xanax +
alcohol. Perhaps slightly better, but I still like Xanax (my first
love) + alcohol.

Well, instead of talking slightly incoherantly, I’m going to fix up the photos now and post this up. Temazepam…Mmm…

Temazepam + alcohol + cannabis = Jelly. Wobbly, happy jelly.

What’s short term memory?

Caution: Combining benzodiazepines with another CNS depressant like alcohol in large amounts can be dangerous.

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