’s first video post – Episode I: Shadow People

This is the first full video blog. I am basically doing a monologue
about my day. In the grand tradition of, we tend to do
things differently. While others strive to present only their most
aesthetically pleasing self to the readers, culling out all “ugly”
photos and only inserting the “good ones”…we, on the other hand,
present it like it is, just one take, and its uploaded. Thus, be
prepared to see a rather unflattering version of me in this pilot
episode. :)

shadow people

Download: Episode I: Shadow People [].
Requires Apple Quicktime. Going to the “Movie” drop down menu bar and choosing “Fill Screen” would be more optimal for viewing.

Yeah, that is what I look like after multiple day runs…strung out, scattered and definitely not pleasant company.

Indiscriminate…I’d rather be elite
I’ll choose my own shit scene
Unsubstantiated rumors flown are true
I’m here for me, not you

Nonconglomerate…I mean what I say
I’m not your fucking scape
Though, apparently I’ve alienated some
It seems my job’s half done

So let me present to you, the first episode – Shadow People.

(coz I know I sound incoherent)

Hey, you’re watching and this is – a video post.

I’ve become too tired to write, and…this is how long my hair actually is now.

I keep it long on one side, probably the last time I’ll see such hair, because I have hereditary male pattern baldness.

I feel like shit, it’s been a couple of days without sleep…and I went to the doctor’s today, got some benzos, that’s good.

By the way, I’m just pretending to smoke, simulating things, you know. I’m not inhaling.
Honestly, I don’t smoke.

Anyway, we’ll just talk until this ends…ah, I’ve got one shaving cut today.
Somewhere anyway. Just a little cut.


Dear readers, if you’re in the mood for some good old classic ultra
mundane posts with the blogger talking about things that you probably
don’t give two shits about, please, do not hesitate to download the
video post. I must urge people not to mistake this as some kind of
satirical production about the blogging community – that would be
giving me way too much credit. Heh.

Anyway, like I mentioned, I went to see one of my doctors today, I
don’t “officially” have a medical record for anxiety here, but he’s
always generous with the benzodiazepines whenever I go. He’s asks me
how many I want, instead of prescribing them himself, and I can pick
and choose here. :) I decided on 20 x 2 mg Rivotril (clonazepam) and 20
x 5 mg chlordiazepoxide (generic Librium, just for review purposes)
today. I suspect he knows quite a bit about my lifestyle even though I
never tell him. I’m quite certain he knows that I’m benzodiazepine
dependant but still doesn’t mind handing them out due to previous
consultations where I basically told him about my various problems and
he seems to feel that my situation justifies it.

highbp benzos

Anyway, I also asked to have my blood pressure read and it was
pretty good (for me). I registered a BP of 180/95 (same results, taken
twice) and a pulse rate of 135 at rest. The figures aren’t bad – it’s
the bit about sustaining what are probably higher figures than that for
hours, before judicious benzodiazepine self-administration reduced it
to the figure that was measured at the doctor’s that made me feel quite
uncomfortable. I must say that I wasn’t feeling too good earlier as
well, thought I was about to have a stroke. I have just about every
factor that puts me at a higher risk and I have had many incidences of
stroke symptoms manifesting during certain high risk activities.

There were a few that required medical attention (hypertensive
crisis) but most of them were resolved without medical care, off my
head, there was one a few months ago – extremely alarming rapid onset
of action, everything happened within seconds, or so it seems. I knew I
had gone too far and my body was protesting but I, er…drank another
cup of coffee, and suddenly felt an alarming feeling of pressure
insistently building up in my brain, followed by the lost capability to
move my left leg, which resulted in me tripping and as I laid there on
the ground, I couldn’t even think, it was all too confusing, and then
*whoosh*, came the extreme headache that I thought would push my brain
out of the skull and I passed out.

I woke up 3 hours later totally disoriented and confused and
couldn’t remember the events which precipitated it. It was worse than
the worst hangover I ever had. I was wondering what time it was, and
why I was lying on the floor. I thought I went to bed and fell off
it…until I saw the…ah, smashed coffee cup on the floor. It’s not a
very nice feeling to wake up in your own room and wonder why the lights
and computer was on (with several flashing IM messages to boot) and
you’re lying propped up against a laundry basket and there’s a smashed
*coffee* cup beside you. It took a while to regain my senses, and it’s
a testament that the first thing I did was to remove all incriminating
evidence (the coffee mugs which aren’t coffee mugs and coffee which
isn’t coffee) before my gf came in the next day. Granted, I was aghast
about the period of unconsciousness…it seemed to be too long and I
had the distinct feeling that a good portion of my brain was
compromised on that day.

Well, that’s what happens when you drink too much caffeine containing beverages like coffee
compulsively over a short period of time if you have condition(s) which
contraindicates those, but still do it anyway. I’ve never been the type
that learns from my mistakes, I’m the kind of person who jumps back on
the horse. I would be careful the next time though…from experience, I
noticed that for me, it’s the overt intracranial pressure point that
has “Last Exit” written on it, coz it can avalanche very quickly to the
point where you are unable to communicate with people and then pass
out. I noticed that I could never go on heroic runs after my first
incident. Two to three day ones feels punishing, while it wasn’t even a
problem before. The Shadow People are starting to turn up earlier and
earlier too….

Trip down the stairs into hell
Cathay de I miss your smell
A mixture of puke, beer, stale piss,
fuck, sweat, and fear

Adrenaline addicted, the
blood leak from my head,
kinda concerned my friends…

But at the time it felt so right
The music blaring on….

Mini Drug Binge

This is a veritas post.

Substances consumed:
Methamphetamine (meth)
Dexamphetamine (Dexedrine)
Clonazepam (Klonopin)
Diazepam (Valium)
Cannabis (weed)
Ketamine (K)
P.subs (magic mushrooms)
Salvia Divinorum (Diviner’s Sage)
LSD (acid)
95% alcohol + cannabis (Green Dragon)

Infected Mushroom – None Of This Is Real []
(right click, save target as)
[6:25 minutes 128 KBPS STEREO 44.1KHZ 5.87 MB .mp3]


(Day 1 – Day 6)

This is the mysterious container…look down for more.

My love for this substance is not unknown, so there’s nothing much
to say here. I planned to go on a 3 day run, but some things came up
and I had to extend it. It wasn’t pretty towards the end. Eating only
dextroamphetamine sulfate tablets and water for days is making your
stomach endure things it’s not built for. I had to abort the run by the
fifth day, because I thought I was going to kick the bucket (again).
Angina, hypertension, couldn’t breath, very elevated body temperature,
sudden jabbing pains all over (someone diagnose this please), blah blah
you know the drill. The strangest thing was that I had swollen and red
hands and feet after drinking only a tiny bit of water. I think
most of the problems would not have occurred if I forced myself to have
(reasonable) water intake every few hours and eaten something. It’s a
useful drug for studies and work…in moderation. My attempt to terminate
the run did not succeed on the fifth day (with benzodiazepines), but I
managed to sleep on the sixth day. Meth was insufflated and dexies were
taken orally. There was an attempt to insufflate meth to try and keep
awake for the LSD visuals, but no amount could keep me awake after the
alcohol. :)

Peppermint Peckers!

The tin is just nice for storing meth, crushing dexamphetamine tablets and shards of meth. Stimulants only please!

It looks sad…


(Day 5, Day 6)


I had 5 mg on the fifth day but it did not bring me to the place
called sleep. I stacked it with 20 mg diazepam after it that became
obvious, but it still didn’t push the issue into the agenda. I consumed
only 2 mg on the sixth day with 10 mg diazepam and alcohol, and was
asleep within hours. This benzodiazepine seems to have lost quite a bit
of its hypnotic effects for me. Sometimes it makes me feel drunk and
anxiety-free and happy like Xanax (alprazolam) does, and thus I stay up
with a contented grin, but not sleep.


(Day 5, Day 6)


This particular benzodiazepine makes me extra sleepy. I only have a
limited stash (now I have none :p) so I tend to squirrel it away for
the moments when I really need the hypnotic effects.


(Day 5, Day 6)


I smoked quite a few bowls of weed before the appetite suppressant
effects of meth/dex was overridden. I ate a normal sized meal on the
fifth day (with lots of candy) and another one on the sixth day. I use
the word bowl and cone interchangeably and by that, I mean the


(Day 5)


I attempted to potentiate the benzodiazepines on the fifth day with
ketamine to induce sleep. Approximately 100 mg was insufflated, it
didn’t k-hole me, and only minimal ketamine effects were felt. I don’t
know if it’s because of quality issues or other factors.

Ready when you are

Enter Marquis – Bubbling (?) but no color change

Enter Simons – No color change

Ketamine will not react with Marquis or Simons.

Caution: Please note that benzodiazepines in combination with ketamine may suppress breathing.

Psilocybe subaeruginosa

(Day 5)

Since I couldn’t sleep anyway, I thought “fuck it” and consumed some
magic mushrooms. :) Benzodiazepine’s disinhibiting effects might have
contributed to the decision to take several different substances on the
sixth day. I don’t know the amount of mushrooms that was taken, but it
was fairly fresh. It produced some minor visuals and lots of laughter.
I actually went to uni while under the influence. :) No paranoia was
noted, probably due to the clonazepam. I went with CT on a mushroom hunting trip last week and we shared the haul. The pictures from that trip is here:




Salvia Divinorum

(Day 5, Day 6)


This is 5X salvia extract, courtesy of CT aka My Generous
Friend. ;) I smoked some on the fifth day with a bong and a (dodgy)
lighter. It’s supposed to be smoked with a butane lighter, the sort
that produces a flame that burns hot and fast for maximum effects. I
did not notice anything except a mild “ketamine feeling” the first
time. I smoked it again during the mushroom trip and it produced some
nice visual distortions. The best one is the way the area where two
walls come together began to flow downwards like a waterfall. What is
with me and waterfalls on mushrooms anyway? I would like to try it
again with a butane lighter and no other substances to get a feel for
this herb.

Caution: Salvia Divinorum is illegal in Australia.


(Day 6)


I also dropped a tab of acid on the morning of the sixth day. I
don’t know what lead to this decision…I was just sitting there, doing
some revision and unable to sleep when I thought:

“You know…a tab of acid would be great right now. I wonder if it would give me greater insight into this revision I’m doing.”

Duh. :) It didn’t, but it sure was fun. I was tired as fuck though,
and hurting all over, and I was expecting a bad trip, but it was a good
one. This is the Buddha tabs that I had written about previously. That
one and the amanita muscaria report made “Erowid’s Recommended Report”.
=D It did hurt the site’s bandwidth though, due to the direct linked
images. But hey, it got Erowid’s Recommended Report! :)

Anyway, I think this is a different batch from the previous
one. It looked smaller than the previous tabs and the cardboard was not
as easily dissolvable as the previous one. It seemed (qualitatively)
weaker too. However, there was an incident regarding this which might
have caused that. I put them into my other stash drawer WHICH IS RIGHT
BESIDE THE HEATER! LSD is sensitive to heat, and I only realized after
noticing that the drawer is kinda warm after an hour or so, and moved
it to another place. It still is psychoactive, but sadly, the strength
of the LSD seems to have been reduced.

It’s not dissolving…

There wasn’t any paranoia on this either, probably due to the
clonazepam. The clonazepam was also responsible for making me search 30
minutes for the acid tabs after I dropped it, only to find it was right
beside me all along. The best visual from this trip was right when I
was about to sleep…I found the pillow occupied by large and transparent
organisms. It’s the ones that we learnt in high school Science…the
ones that are one class above single cell organisms. They weren’t
moving, but once in a while they would wave their feelers around a bit.
It made me a bit wary about sleeping on the pillow. :)

95% alcohol + cannabis

(Day 6)

The (190) proof is in the pudding

I made a batch of this last year and found it to be weak, so I made
another batch this year and put more cannabis into it. 95% alcohol
(sold as Everclear in the US) is available in a few bottle shops here.
I don’t know the legal status of spirits with this strength, but I
don’t think it’s illegal. It is hard to find though, I haven’t seen it
displayed anywhere, I had to ask for it by name and it was produced
from the storeroom.


Basically, you put (finely shredded) cannabis into the bottle and
let it sit around for a few weeks. I recommend filtering the mixture
after that because I got a mouthful of soggy (really soggy) weed and
nearly retched. I can’t describe the texture, but I didn’t like it. :)
Alcohol was the magic ingredient, it put me right to sleep when
combined with benzos. Benzodiazepines alone have consistently failed to
produce the appropriate hypnotic effects for me now. Alcohol is the
missing link,

“And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made; and
he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made.”

Genesis 2:2

The draft of this document is here:
Mini Drug Binge v.beta []

My apologies, this isn’t well written at all, but I do have exams
coming up too, you know. Contrary to popular belief, taking drugs is
not my day job! :)

EZ-Test substance testing kit (Ecstasy pill tester)

You’ve got mail!

EZ Test
[]. It’s a set of chemical solutions for testing substances.
The reagents produce different reactions to different chemicals so you
can test for Ecstasy (MDMA), methamphetamine, 2C-B, DXM etc. It’s very
useful to have around for testing pills, although personally I’ve never
had any problems about this in Australia. MDMA pills are sold as MDMA
pills and ketamine/speed pills are sold as such. It is useful to verify
the contents of a pill though, so I usually use a Marquis reagent which
I get at Off Ya Tree, a local headshop.

Inside the package is the EZ Test container and a booklet

That ran out some time ago and I found out that EZ Test has a Australian distributor
[] which mails their substance testing kits cash on
delivery, so I ordered a set from them. This is the EZ Test Xtreme,
which has 4 different chemicals – the EZ Test (Marquis reagent),
Simon’s reagent, Robadope and the buffer solution. The Marquis reagent
is probably the most well known for testing Ecstasy pills, but the
other reagents compliment the Marquis solution to provide more
comprehensive results. Hmm…I feel like I’m writing this for a report! :)

The EZ Test container – a closer look

Anyway, the Marquis reagent is able to detect MDxA type substances
(eg MDMA, MDA, MDEA), amphetamines (speed), 2C-B (also called Nexus,
pretty rare chemical), and DXM.

A peek inside the container

Simons’s reagent is used to test for a “secondary amine”, which to
my limited chemistry knowledge means the substances that have a longer
chemical name than usual. ;) These are things like methamphetamine (a
methyl group added to -amphetamine), MDMA and so on. This one is good
for testing meth, it won’t react with amphetamines (primary amine),
only with methamphetamines (secondary amine). Anyway, there isn’t a
burning need to have this around either, since most of the ‘speed’ sold
in Australia is methamphetamine, or so I’ve heard. It’s not that hard
to subjectively differentiate meth and speed (I use speed to refer to
amphetamine) when consumed anyway.

The 4 bottles of reagents

Robadope on the other hand does the opposite of what Simon’s reagent
does. Robadope is used to detect the presence of a primary amine (like
amphetamine). Unfortunately, this test requires quite a lot of the
substance to work. The instructions say at least 1/8th of a pill is
needed to produce a reaction. That’s quite wasteful, but it’s
interesting to have around, if only to test things at random. =D

EZ Test (Marquis reagent)

There is also the buffer solution, which I think (don’t quote me on
this) is used to speed up the reaction times. Either that, or it’s the
“missing link” that’s needed for Simon’s and Robadope to react, perhaps
the solutions are not that stable and won’t keep as long when combined.
Again, I don’t really know what the buffer is for, just that it’s used
with Simon’s and Robadope but not Marquis.

Simon’s reagent

The tests are done in sequence and by inference and extrapolation
(just love this phrase), you can detect whether a
pill/powder/capsule/whatever contains MDxA (MDMA, MDEA, MDA),
methamphetamine, amphetamine, PMA, 2C-B, DXM, combinations (primary
amine – secondary amine like a MDMA/amphetamine combo pill) and even
heroin. Each reagent changes color when it’s exposed to the
recreational substances that it’s able to detect.


I don’t know why I’m in a mood for writing something like this, but
anyway. :) Here’s an example, using the EZ Test kit on a dexamphetamine
tablet. I had 2 pills left, which isn’t enough to do anything, so I’ve
left it lying around…until today! Today, I’m going to strike the fear
of God into the little white pills. Or something. I’m tweaking again,
verbal diarrhea and mindless chatter ahoy! =D

Buffer solution

Anyway, if you’ve read my posts, you’ll know that I have a
dexamphetamine script for my…ah, narcolepsy. ;) I can’t stop with the
wink wink nudge nudge every time I mention this, my apologies, I’m
actually privately gloating about my script. Heh. Okay, enough
silliness, sorry about that.

5 mg dexamphetamine tablets

Back on topic, dexamphetamine is a primary amine, from what I’ve
read, amphetamine is a racemic mixture containing both the + and –
isomers. Those are dextro and laevo and Collin’s English Dictionary
defines it as such:

(Chem) of, concerned with, or being a mixture of dextrorotatory
and laevorotatory isomers in such proportions that the mixture has no
optical activity
[ETYMOLOGY: 19th Century: from RACEME (as in racemic acid) + -IC]

Anyway, the laevo (or levo) isomers of both amphetamine and
methamphetamine isn’t recreational compared to the dextro isomers. I
don’t know if this is true for all -amphetamines, but its true for
(meth)amphetamine. The stuff you get off the street is a racemic
mixture, so looking from a recreational perspective, it’s inferior to
dextro only isomers. In other words, pure dextro (meth)amphetamines
will get you higher than a racemic mixture. Personally, I like
dexamphetamine (dextroamphetamine sulfate) because it’s much more
stimulating that street speed (racemic amphetamine), but I’ll take
racemic methamphetamine over it any day! =D

Dextroamphetamine sulfate – our test subject

I digress. I suspect I’m boring half of you with the background
information and insulting half of you by elaborating on things that you
already know. Nevertheless, I shall continue. :) Oh, and you might have
noticed that I don’t use the word “drug” or “drugs”. I dislike that
term because of the negative connotations that’s associated with it. I
use the term “substances” and “chemicals” instead to refer to
recreational compounds. Okay, instead of digressing again and again and
being self indulgent, I’ll continue to the tests.

Substance: 5 mg dexamphetamine pill (dextroamphetamine sulfate)

Dexamphetamine pill, crushed into powder

The pill is crushed up with a dog tag as if to prepare for
insufflating (snorting). Half of the powder is used for the tests and
the other half was, er…insufflated. The first test is done using the
Marquis reagent. A small portion of the powder is isolated into a
corner of a CD jewel case and two drops of the Marquis reagent is
applied to it.

Test: Marquis Reagent

The pill’s content is already known, so this is just a test for fun
and to show how reagents work. The Marquis reagent will react by
changing color to orange/brown when it detects amphetamine (speed).
Let’s see how it goes in the test.

Yellow as soon as it came into contact with the powdered dexamphetamine pill.

The color started to look orange after a couple of seconds.

It’s noticeably orange now.

Yup, unmistakably orange. Indicates the presence of amphetamine (dexamphetamine = amphetamine).

The reaction settled to become a brown goo after a minute.

Marquis Reagent result: Orange, indicating either methamphetamine or amphetamine.

Test: Simon’s Reagent

Two drops of Simon’s reagent and 4 drops of the buffer solution is
applied to another portion of the powdered dexamphetamine pill. This
should turn blue if there is a secondary anime (methamphetamine) but it
won’t react if it’s amphetamine (primary amine).

No reaction. The red drops are the reagents, accidentally dropped it outside the sample.

Simon’s Reagent result: No reaction, ruling out
methamphetamine. This indicates that it’s amphetamine, from the
positive result from the previous Marquis test.

Test: Robadope

There’s actually no point in doing the Robadope, since the substance
is already known from the two tests. Robadope is mainly used for
testing for combinations eg MDMA/amphetamine combo pill. The Robadope
will proceed nevertheless. :) The reaction will be reddish/purple if it
detects a primary amine (like dexamphetamine).

I fudged up the first test by dropping too much Robadope on too little sample.

Slight salmon color.

The second attempt uses only a single drop of Robadope + 2 drops of buffer on quite a large sample.

Slight reddish tint. It is noticeable to the naked eye (if you squint
really hard), but the colors translated poorly to the digicam. It
wasn’t the shade of red I expected, but that’s probably because the
sample was mostly binders + fillers instead of dexamphetamine. There’s
heaps of binders in a dex pill, which is why snorting is such a chore
that I just eat them after heavy urinary alkalization.

Robadope result: Salmon red tint. This indicates a primary amine – dextroamphetamine.

This is how Ecstasy pill testers work – by cross-referencing reagent results. :)

Messy Meth (Hello Nurse)

The best delivery system I’ve seen to date!

I have too many things to do so I’m going to keep this short. I had
a Class A meth induced freak out yesterday. It was my 5th day without
sleep and food (but plenty of meth and dexamphetamine), and I had
forced myself to half a pack of Tim Tams (chocolate biscuit, very
sugary sweet). I was browsing around when I felt my hands go completely
white like there wasn’t any blood. I was feeling very confused,
sweating, hand tremors, extreme dizziness and my vision was fucked.

I felt my blood pounding in my head, had sore muscles, my face was
crawling and my hands had parts that looked black too, which freaked me
out. I’ve heard something about hypoglycemia before and I searched for
it. I read some medical sites about starvation induced hypoglycemia,
reactive hypoglycemia after a high sugar meal stuff like that. I was in
a bad state of mind, and reading those made me worse coz I had those
symptoms. I spent 6 hours reading and debating whether or not to go to
a hospital.

Hmm…nah, I concluded, it’s just a meth freak out, not that
hypothingamajic. Sleep deprivation, overt CNS stimulation for prolonged
periods of time, you’re stressing that grey matter, not getting
starvation/reactive hypoglycemia. The symptoms came and went and I
thought okay, I’ll just eat something that’s not simple sugars to
re-stabilize…forced two small pieces of chicken about the size of a
thumbnail down and well, basically got worse.

The symptoms came again, even worse this time and I was really freaking out. Why?

The risk of permanent neurologic deficits increases with
prolonged hypoglycemia; such deficits can include hemiparesis, memory
impairment, diminished language skills, decreased abstract thinking
capabilities, and ataxia.

Basically, they advice quick medical attention because you’ll damage
your brain the longer you wait. There was one site that said go,
because the risk of not going is permanent brain damage. Fuck, I
thought. I still didn’t want to go, but I was scared coz I had these
effects towards the end during the last long meth run (6 days) too.
Ketoacidosis, hemiparesis (I don’t even know what this is!!),
neurological damage. Medical terms swirling in my head…

I decided that it was just methamphetamine induced paranoia and
sleep deprivation induced erratic thought patterns. Nothing to worry
about, I’ll just pop a couple (maybe more than a couple, har har)
benzos, down some beer, smoke some weed, get some food in me and sleep.
Except, it got worse, and got me seriously worried about my mental
health. Brain damage!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’ve always held my
superior intellect (in my opinion :p) in high regard and I don’t want
to fuck that up.

I guess the last straw was when I couldn’t think or speak normally.
I was having trouble getting what I thought into words and my speech
was abnormally…well, abnormal. My precious brain is getting fried, I
thought. What if it’s really hypoglycemia and not meth paranoia? It’ll
be STUPID to not go for a checkup, when neurons are at stake. I flushed
all my drugs down the toilet and my friend (can’t name him coz that’ll
give away my identity) took me too the hospital. Thanks buddy, I owe
you one! ;)

Well, at the hospital, I had to wait for ages while the triage nurse
(the person that evaluates all incoming patients) fucked around. Most
triage nurses are bitches (and that’s a fact) but you can’t blame them
too coz it’s their job to sort out the emergencies and non-emergencies
for better efficiency. I’ve had experience with them before, I had to
wait for ages before I finally got approved after throwing up blood.
That time, I saw a guy with a broken arm cursing coz he had to wait
ages too.

I think you have to be 5 minutes away from death to get instant
approval from triage nurses. They have the “police syndrome” aka the “I
feel like God, I have so much authority bow before me lesser beings”
disorder. Anyway, I finally got a little bit of mini-God’s time and she
took my blood sugar with a tiny device that pricks the finger, all the
while telling me off. I have to say that not all triage nurses are like
this though, the previous one I saw was much nicer.

Well, she told me I had a blood sugar level of 6.7 which is normal
“and probably even better than mine” (her own words) and asked me
whether I wanted to see a doctor. I said no, because if it wasn’t
hypoglycemia, I don’t have to worry about brain damage. She berated me
for not eating (I didn’t tell her about my methamphetamine use – my
policy is disclosure on a “need to know” basis) and was a general
asshole about it. Regardless, I thanked her and stood up and she
impatiently asked whether I wanted to see a doctor again and I said no
(again). Major fucking bitch with a capital B.

Well, anyway, all is good except that I flushed good drugs down the
toilet for no reason. I know from experience that hospitals won’t
notify police or anything but try telling that to a paranoid delusional
after a meth binge. Anyway, I still have the symptoms but my conclusion
is that it’s just extremely high blood pressure from frequent meth
re-dosing. It went away after stopping and sleep. Did I really go on a
break? I’ve been using it too much, I don’t want to go into specifics,
but it’s too much.

Enough about that, yesterday was a great day for mushrooms but I
think that’s gonna be in a different post coz it’s completely
unrelated. Anyway, I didn’t think I did any serious harm, but my
intellectual abilities sure went down several notches today. It’s quite
noticeable and I’m still waiting for the verdict – benzo related
(temporary) or overheating + high blood pressure (permanent). Hope that
it’s the former, wish me luck people. =D Well, fuck this wasn’t short
after all. Ah…methamphetamine, you’re such a contradiction – my best
friend and my worst enemy.

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