State dependant learning


It’s quite simple. Study on meth, do the exam on meth. 🙂 That’s
state dependant learning in a nutshell. Does it work? It does for me.
There was this stoner movie (forgot the name – I’m a stoner too, but if
it helps, most of the cast are African Americans) where the guys smoke
weed while studying and then go to the exam blazed and breezed through
it. I’m quite doubtful about the efficacy of their drug of choice in an
exam environment though…I’ll stick to stimulants, thank you very much.


Lets talk about logistics. I do it by using an empty novelty candy
tin which works perfectly for crushing, storing and transporting stuff.
I used to be very scared of carrying illicit substances in my personal
effects, but I don’t seem to have the same fear anymore. *shrug* In the
tradition of giving paraphernalia names, I call this The HD Offerings Chamber.
You put meth in and (hopefully) HD’s come out. HD = High Distinction,
the highest grade you can get in Australian universities (correct me if
I’m wrong). Uh, don’t ask me how many HD’s I have in my academic


The construction of this portable stash tin is very simple. I’ll
hesitate to use the word “construction” since I didn’t do anything
remotely resembling that. 🙂 The crystal meth is pre-crushed (so you
won’t have to fumble around in the toilet) and a (truncated) straw is
packed into the tin. I only carry enough to get me tweaking. The tin is
double bound with sticky tape to prevent it from opening and spilling
it’s contents (a Very Bad Thing).

5 minutes before the exam, I excuse myself to the toilet and lock
the door. The tape is removed and a line of appropriate size is racked
up using the straw. Insufflate. The guy taking a shit in the stall
beside you might ask what you’re up to. The correct reply is “It’s
winter, I have the flu. Now go about your business and stop listening
to me.” Bind the tin again with sticky tape if you didn’t consume
everything. The meth should hit you as you walk out of the toilet and
stroll (don’t walk, stroll) into the exam hall. You should be peaking
by the time the examiner says “You have 10 minutes reading time,
READING time only”. Alert: Neurons firing! Now go and ace that fucking
exam! 🙂

This is a public service announcement brought to you by veritas.

The fine print:
veritas does not condone the use of drugs.
Illicit substances can land you with possession charges.
No claims are made on the efficacy of this method. is not responsible for police intervention, freak outs,
Acts of God, paranoia, failing grades, habituation, spilled meth or
anything resembling or not resembling the descriptions above.

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31 thoughts on “State dependant learning”

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