<p>This is a post by <a href=”mailto:veritas@sixthseal.com”>veritas</a>.</p>

<p>I wote this while still very under the influence and try as I want
to, I cannot simply provide resoanably understandable phrases while in
this mindstate. Plus, I took a heavy dose of benzodiazepines and theire
siren calls are irresistible, try as hard as I could. That was
originally the plan – I hae tweaked for a few days so today ios the
time to stop…except I ended up having classic ideas like taking LSD
(acid) at 5am the morning. Hehe! If I knoew I wasn’t gonnabe this
tired, I’ll have been out. So here’s the very dubious draft, read at
your own risk, sinlight just looks so beautiful on a low 1 blotter dose
of acid. I amazed that that all the insufflated meth couldn’t keep me
from sleeping. The acid too, visuals look great in the daytime , it’s a
small dose, but its great. I’ll tell you more tomorrow, Too sleepy not
to saything except food. And fractals. Anyway, I’m stopping here and
I’ll post a photo up so it isn’t all tes.t I can’t think coherently
now, but check back tomorrow and I’ll have posted a nether post with
all the pirctures and when I’m sober enough to write. Bye nite…and you
can have a read at the really rough draft starting here:</p>

<p><img alt=”msysleep.jpg” src=”http://www.sixthseal.com/archive/June2003/msysleep.jpg” border=”0″ height=”263″ width=”350″><br>
Intrigues by this picture? Have you been subject to sleepless nights
because you wonder what that picture is. Well , check ack tomorrow and
all will be clear! I did take a lot of pics of substances b ut nah
can’t postm them today toooosleepy. I had something to say but I forgot
it again like usual. Fuck.</p>

<h3>Idiot warning: Please refrain from reading because there’s an idiot writubg (though not intentionally.</h3>
<h2>Final warning: Drug retard’s journal. Not recommended for reasing</h2>
Oh man, even typing that out made me have to think for a long to to get
that thought out. I should probably put a caution here: This post will
endoubtadly lead in an appropriate degress of respect, but in my
defence, some stuff have been sitting in the drawer for AGES and I
never had an urge to touch them (except for dex/meth). I don’t know why
I’m at the first paragraph again, will go down and find the one I
posted in last and I’m going to put an idiot waitning on top.
<p><b>Substances: </b><br>
Day 1 – Day 6<br>
Methamphetamine <br>
Dextroamphetamine (Dexamphetamine, Dexedrine)<br>
Day 3 or 4 or 5  <br>
Ketamine</p>

<p>Ketamine = early this morning (or was it last night?) time just loses it’s meaning when you stay up a while.<br>
Bendodiazepines (clonazepam, diazepam)<br>
Salvia Divinorum (Diviner’s Sage)<br>
Cannabis (marijuana)<br>
95% alcohol…I think that’s what made me so drowsy wit the benzo doses I just look. I’m having a bizzzare feeling now./<br>
Mushrooms! =D</p>

<p><b>Caution: </b> This post might be offensive to three different people<br>1.
Who have been brainwashed by government propaganda into thinking “Drugs
are bad mmmkay?” The scond group that might be displeased is the harm
reduction organizations, who’s work and time towards the cause have
always been appreciated! To them I say, my apologies for contributing
to the image of irresponsible use. To the first group I say, get your
fucking ass out of your head because eat food – shit comes out – eat
shit ad nauseum is not a healthy way to life. I’ll also like to mention
that I’m not the most responsible drug user out there, so please do not
take my comments as representative of a larger group. If you do, I
suggest that a refresher course in university might do you a world of
good to keep things in perspective.<br>
<b>Background:</b> Taking methamphetamine/dextroamphetamine for 6 days
straight. Today is the sixth day. I wanted to comedown yesterday but
thatfunny ketamine kept me awake and so here I an,I would love tell you
about the..tius is like a really bad movie but I seriously forgot again.<br>
<b>Substances: </b></p>

<p>It’s the end of the semester some more!!!!! I felt so tired after my
5 day run without food and sleep (got some on the sixth night, yum
drowisnes alernt, oh and I’m going to pass out right now I’m so sleepy!</p>

<p><b>Anyway substances taken:</b> methamphetamine (meth) <b>I’LL STOP
HERE, SORRY ABOUT THAT, MY SEDATION IS BORDERING ON COMA AND . no,
that’s giving up, I will resist the URGE to sleep and I promise I’ll
get this done pictures and all (although shoddiness is garunteed) </b>now iE TONIET., dextroamphetamine (Dexidrine instant release), diazepam (Valium),</p>

<p><br>
Note: er…somehow this post didn’t survive the server move, but the final post did</p>

Why is this man laughing? [sixthseal.com].

udscript.jpg

I went to pick up my dexamphetamine script today. Granted, the day
that happens usually warrants a post filled with much joy and
laughter…but not to this extent. Hahaha! :) Look, I’m at it again!
Okay, let me fill you all in about what happened today. I went to my
usual doctor to pick up my script 100 tablets of dextroamphetamine
sulfate today. The good doctor raised the price issue again with me, so
I thought it would be a good time to push my luck. Hehe!

Anyway, the price issue stems from the fact that the good doctor
feels sorry for me because I have to pay the clinic consultation fees
(A$35) every time I pick up my script. He knows I’m an international
student from the first consultation, and it might have been something I
said that first time (don’t really remember), but he’s really concerned
about my financial situation. :) Now, is that a good doctor or what!

However, the thing is, my Medibank Private OSHC (Overseas Student
Health Coverage) makes me eligible to claim back the consultation fees.
I’ve told the doctor that when he raised the issue the first time but
he seems to forget it every time I go in. Man, I’m feeling really bad
about scamming this doctor, he’s a really good, concerned medical
professional on all fronts. Bless him!

dexad1.jpg

A rather long aside:

I read a post about 25 mg getting someone “too wired” and another
about a guy taking “35 mg but don’t take that much because I’m a big
guy”. Fuckers!!!!! I can’t get off on less than 60 mg and I need
urinary alkalinizers and a really empty stomach for that to work, and
re-dosing has to happen frequently. I just took 60 mg, a 40 mg booster
dose at T+30 and snorted a fat line of meth to go with everything when
I felt the oral dose kick in. I’m fairly nice and stimulated (whee! =D)
but it’s not a “recreational dose” in that I’ll need much more to get
ready to “fucking party”. ;) This is just a “work dose” for
assignments. Reading those posts got my panties all in a twist (not
literally, I prefer lacy G-strings…I kid! :)) because my tolerance does
not allow me to “get off” on that kind of doses. :( I’m not saying “my
dick is bigger than yours” – fuck, not at all! I wish so much that I
have the tolerance level of a normal person so my stash will last
longer! Reading those posts makes me envious…imagine how long my gear
will last if I only need 20 mg to get tweaked. The possibilities! Oh,
the sweet sweet possibilities!

P/S – Don’t take the amounts I take – dosage guides are available at
Erowid (link on the right). I’m in a bit of a meth here…tweaking very
often and not exercising moderation and self-control. Don’t worry or
feel sorry about me though, I’m going to quit (don’t laugh, seriously)
in June, for reasons I will explain later. :)

Anyway, back to the post, I told the doctor not to worry about it,
coz I can claim back the consultation fees, but he keeps on forgetting
that. Another small aside: I’m sure my health coverage allows me to
claim back part of the medication cost, but there’s no way I’m doing
that! :) Maybe I’m paranoid, but I want a “clean record” – no
benzodiazepines or amphetamine type stimulants on my medical record
please. I’ve read that Medibank does check for doctor shoppers,
and benzodiazepines for anxiety and dextroamphetamine for narcolepsy
will be a bit of a discrepancy now won’t it? Maybe it’ll just make a
few people at Medibank scratch their heads in puzzlement at this
contraindicatory prescription list, maybe they won’t even notice it,
but maybe, just maybe, they’ll flag me as a doctor shopper and that’ll
be the end of things.

udexbotd.jpg
Picked up 200 tablets (a whopping 1000 mg – that’s a gram of dextroamphetamine sulfate) today

“False representation to obtain a prescription drug” aka faking
symptoms to get a prescription IS a drug offence and can lead to 1 year
in prison in Victoria! Don’t fuck around, I’m not glamorizing or
promoting this practice in any way, I’m just telling you about my day
and that’s what a blog is about right? You might also be concerned
about the other issues raised by Dave in his comments in Project Doctor Shopping I
[sixthseal.com]. He’s got a couple of good points in there, however, I
don’t mean to “proudly drawing attention to my exploits”. I don’t
mention about my doctor shopping shenanigans anywhere else, but I
neglected to notice that “Dexamphetamine” seems to be an Australian
“brand name” and thus my site is in the top 10 returned hits of Google
(sometimes, seem to change every time Google crawls) if people search
for that particular word. This worries me a bit though, I would like
the site’s readers to read about my day, but I’m also aware that a
doctor/medical insurance representative/pharmacist/law enforcement
officer (*crosses fingers*) might stumble upon it and do something
about it. Well, in the unlikely (but statistically possible) event that
you’re one of the above…not that this is a valid excuse, but consider
giving a final semester (more about this later) university student who
will be leaving Australia for good in June 2003 a break eh? :)

dexad2.jpg
You take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.

My, am I paranoid today. And I’ve digressed so far from the point.
Sheesh! :) My apologies, 100 mg + line of meth does get me fairly
tweaked – it’s not as high as I’ll like to be for recreation, but it
sure gets me talking and writing excessively, which is why I use it for
assignments. Sure gets things done really fast, if you control the urge
to elaborate and go off on tangents. Hehe! :) I wouldn’t use it for
writing stuff though, it makes me write inappropriately intimate
“Hello, we’re having a conversation” type essays instead of the
detached “The simulation was run for 420 seconds, and upon completion,
the average utilization rates for the TD link is found to hover around
60%. The TD link’s parameters were then changed to meet the IEEE 802.3
1000BaseT standard and this resulted in a significant decrease in the
utilization rate figures as predicted, with an average of 7.7% over the
course of the 7 minute simulation.”.

I am digressing again. Sorry, I’ll get back to the post now. Lemme
just scroll up and see where I ended…ah, yes. I’ve never claimed back
the medication costs due to that reason, and also I don’t feel good
about being “subsidized” for something I’m using for recreational
purposes. I do claim the consultation costs though – and this may sound
like hypocrisy – but I make a distinction between this and medication
costs. Before you accuse me of “taking advantage of Australia’s good
medical facilities” and tell me to go back home (which I’m going to do
in June anyway) please take note of the fact that I’ve only claimed
back the consultation costs for the doctor who prescribes me
dexamphetamine, and that’s just 4 times.

dexad3.jpg
Dexamphetamine driving in traffic.
Speech bubble: Vroom!

I also pay high monthly medical premiums for my Medibank Private
health insurance – I’m not on Medicare because I’m not a PR or citizen!
Perhaps that’s why I don’t feel bad about claiming back the
consultation costs for the dexamphetamine consultations (never claimed
the other ones, used a fake name so that’s not possible), it’s
something about claiming back small amounts from a for-profit private
insurance company that doesn’t bother me at all. Hell, the amounts I
pay for premiums and the out of pocket costs from several unfortunate
incidents is many, many times higher than the meager claimbacks I did.
I’m contributing to the Australian economy from that, my university
fees (overseas students = very inflated figures) and the other
associated living costs. I’m about to digress into a 10, 000 word essay
about why international students are contributing to the economy, not
“taking away” from it, but I’ll spare you all that. :)

I’ve said I’ll stop digressing, right? Oops…okay, anyway, I’ve only
done 4 claims for the consultation (but not medication) from the
dexamphetamine clinic, because my altruism can only go as far as my
financial means, which isn’t much at all. Oh, and the claims are not
paid back in full though, there is out of pockets costs for people on
OSHC – I don’t know how much it is in terms of percentages, I could
break out with the calculators (or at least click on Window’s
calculator) but I’ll let someone with the adequate math skillz to work
this out in the head do this. :) Consultation costs me A$35 and I’ve
been to 4 consultations for dexamphetamine, so that’s A$140 (I had to
use a calculator for that – damn my poor math). I got A$100.50 from the
claims, so that’s A$39.50 out of pocket expenses. Phew, I didn’t use a
calculator for that (though I was tempted to) – worked it all out in my
head…it took quite a while and I had to bend and flex my fingers to
keep track and provide visual cues during the calculation, but I did
it! That’s something to be proud of…heh! Okay, now someone else work
out the OOP expenses if there’re interested, I forgot how to calculate
percentages even with a calculator…

dexad4.jpg
Dexamphetamine in: Delusions of Grandeur – Hovering over the skies of Melbourne.
Speech bubble: Behold mortals!

Anyway, I told the doctor that I can claim back the consultation
fees, but he says he doesn’t feel good about me paying every time. I
think he mentioned something along the lines of he’ll rather me pay the
pharmacy for the medication and not the clinic for the
consultation…which leads me to wonder if he’s involved in any
outstanding issues with the clinic, but it’s not my place to speculate.
Nevertheless, I wish you well, good doctor. All the best in everything
and may you live long and prosper! I don’t think doctors need any
wishes regarding the prosper bit though. :p

Well, after all this paragraphs of digression and sidetracks, now
I’m back to what I said in the first paragraph. :) He raised the issue
again with me today, so I thought…I’m feeling lucky today so I’ll push
my luck and see how far it takes me. Roll with it, and all that:

Me: Hmm…
(The “hmm…” is because I wanted to make it look like the idea just got into my head)
Me: Well, would it be possible to…say, write a script for 200
tablets instead of 100 tablets? I won’t need to come back so often in
that case.
(I immediately regretted saying this, I meant to say 300, but my tongue
slipped. Curse you for abandoning me in my moment of need…I’ll give you
a good bite in retaliation! Ouch! Okay, back to the conversation.)
Doctor: Yes, that’s a good idea, that means you’ll only have to
go to the pharmacy instead of all the way here (my address is on my
patient details sheet, good thing he never asked why I came all the way
here instead of going to a doctor in my suburb) and paying consultation
every time to get your script. I’ll do that. How much were you taking
again?
(I’m thinking really hard at this point…is the doctor testing me? Or
has he really forgotten and the patient history sheet doesn’t have my
dosage on it? Split second decisions, buddy, do it right this time, go
with the flow, do what feels right!)
Me: I’m taking two tablets twice a day.
(Yes, I told the truth. I had decided the doctor wasn’t testing me
based on his expression and other cues, including body language, etc
and my gut feeling (which is actually pretty good). However, I didn’t
want to lie to this doctor when he’s been so nice to me, it just won’t
be right. It may sound strange that a doctor shopper has “morals” but
you don’t understand the scene if you think that way. Recreational drug
users and the doctor shopping subculture is just a microcosm of the
general population – there are good people, they are bad people, like
general society. (Note to self: Nice one! You managed to squeeze the
word ‘microcosm’ into a post at last! =D) Personally, I consider myself
a “good person”. The written version of verbal masturbation? Oh well, I
feel that way anyway because I’m honest except when doctor shopping (I
prefer the term “going into character” instead of lying) and I don’t:
rip anyone off, dob anyone in, fuck anyone over, steal, cheat, deal,
manipulate etc etc. Yes, writing that did felt good, and it’s true too.
:) However, others might not think I’m a “good person” because
substance use is still shaking off its stigma, but that’s okay. Judge
not lest ye be judged yourself. ;) My God (blasphemy), that is an
inappropriately long aside in the middle of reenacting a conversation -
I wish I had an editor to cut out all this crap.)

dexad5.jpg
Dexamphetamine using a public toilet. The yellow stream missed the bowl.
Speech bubble: Ahh…

Doctor: Okay, so I’ll write 200 tablets (I kick myself again
for not saying 300) and also put in some repeats so come in again when
you finish the tablets.
Me: Thanks doctor, I’ll come in again next Monday then.
(I kid!!! I didn’t say that last sentence. Sorry. Couldn’t resist. :) This is my real reply:)
Me: How do the repeats work?
(I want to sound clueless in preparation for my next phase of
“Operation Upgrade Dexamphetamine Prescription” or OUDP. Heck, that
didn’t even have a ring to it. Okay, “Operation Supersize Prescription
- Elicit Extra Dexamphetamine”. Hmm, ‘elicit’ doesn’t sound right,
‘solicit’ is better but that doesn’t start with ‘e’ and ‘elicit’ is the
only other ‘e’ word I could think of. Be glad it’s not “…Extra Extra…”.
:) Anyway, I’m sure taking a long time to write this…back to “Operation
SPEED”.)
Doctor: The chemist will give you a piece of paper which you can use to refill the bottle when it’s empty. Remember to keep that paper.
Me: I will. Thanks doctor! I appreciate your help.
Doctor: My pleasure. I don’t know if the pharmacy would fill 200
tablets of dexamphetamine though, they might have a problem with it.
Just tell them to call me if they say anything about that. My number is
on the top of the prescription form.
Me: Okay, thanks for everything doctor!

I walked out of the clinic. What happened to Phase Two of Operation
SPEED? I didn’t initiate it…I was planning to talk about tolerance
(which the doctor never asked about) in Phase Two. I reckon it’s normal
to get the dose increased after a while because you do build a massive
tolerance on these things, even if you’re using it for legitimate
reasons. However, things didn’t go well last time I brought up that
issue and my sixth sense told me that asking right would be a bad idea
when the doctor has trusted me with 200 tablets at once (instead of 100
tablets with dated repeats as is the norm). Even though tolerance is a
valid issue, this doctor has never prescribed dexamphetamine before (he
told me the first time) and I have the feeling he may not be aware of
tolerance issues.

dexad6.jpg
Dexamphetamine stopped and questioned by the police!
Speech bubble: I’m not on speed officer, honest!

I’m not trying to discredit the doctor, I’m sure he knows a lot, but
doctors are not pharmacists and my experience tells me that a lot of
doctors are not familiar with the details of every medication (it’s
impossible to do that!) and they often rely on something like a
“Physician’s Desk Reference” or something like that, when prescribing
something they’re not familiar with. Those books tend to have something
along the lines of “HIGH ADDICTIVE POTENTIAL”
[rxlist.com] under dextroamphetamine (probably in capital letters and
bold font too) and no mention about tolerance, except something like
“THIS DRUG SHOULD BE USED AT THE MINIMUM EFFECTIVE DOSE”. Asking for an
increase might make me sound like I’ve succumbed to the first warning,
and it just didn’t feel like the time was right. In other words, the
planets did not align to form a straight line, a rare phenomena of epic
astronomical proportions.

Oh, I must have written thousands of words already. Okay, I’ll
finish up…I’m familiar with the Latin notation in prescriptions (read
up and memorized it), and I could (not would! could – would,
can – will, possibility – acting out) modify the script, but I’m not
that morally bankrupt. I’ll always go the doctor shopping route instead
of forging scripts or modifying existing ones. However, the thought did
flit across my mind before I pushed it out (Naughty!). Prescription
fraud is where I draw the line, it’s just not something I’ll do. The
two are similar in the eyes of the law though, modifying a script
(forging a prescription) attracts the same penalties as doctor shopping
(false representation to obtain a prescription drug) – both give you a
one year (maximum – a lot of people are waiting to take advantage of
this offer!) accommodation at the local Hilton (all expenses paid, no
less). I would make a joke about showers and slippery soap, but I don’t
feel like it anymore – thinking about the government’s generous offer
is depressing.

Anyway, the thought just crossed my mind because the pen I have
produces the same colored ink and texture as the writing on the script.
I had noticed that the doctor is using the same pen I have (well, the
pen is not the same, but the ink cartridge is…just knew this because it
was a bit of information I picked up and filed into my “temporary
storage for things that are not worthy of going into permanent memory”
while shopping for a good pen, but for some reason the temporary files
didn’t get deleted) instead of the free “Zoloft” or some other
pharmaceutical company’s free pens to promote their latest and
greatest. Theoretically, I could either change the frequency or the
quantity to a more accommodating figure. The doctor is using the BNF
(British system) instead of the US standard, seeing as he wrote
abbreviated “Bd” instead of “b.i.d.” for twice a day…changing the
capital B to a capital Q and adding s after the d (doubling the
frequency) would make a “mess” with the B and it would be easy to pick
up. “Bd” to “PRN” is possible without too much of a mess, but I doubt
the pharmacist would read that without laughing or calling the police.
:)

dexad7.jpg
Dexamphetamine vs possum!
Speech bubble: j00 dead fool! Eat me will ya?

I don’t think anyone prescribes dextroamphetamine to be “taken as
needed”. “Bd” to “Tds” to increase frequency by one is potentially
feasible, but the way the doctor “crosses” the end of B makes it
impossible to alter without looking dodgy due to the extra bottom
“wing” of B. Anyway, “Bd” to another frequency is not easy from the way
the doctor writes…it’s not something as easy as changing “qd” to “qid”
in the US notation system, that’s for sure! Modifying the frequency is
out…what about the quantity? I don’t even dare to touch that
non-standard notation! I can’t even make sense of it…what with the T
with an additional bar and two dots thingy. My impulsive side was going
“Try ADDING two vertical bars and two dots and see what happens!”. Duh.
:)

The easiest mod is obviously the Arabic (or Hindu, or European
depending on what you read…it’s the common 1, 2, 3 numbers) numerals
for amount. Changing 200 to 300 isn’t all that hard, and I’m sure a lot
of people have had practice doing that in primary school if you have
parents with high expectations. ;) But yeah, I’m just throwing the
ideas around in my mind then, I’m not seriously going to do it! Like I
said, it’s not something I want to be involved in. Besides, the script
is suspicious enough as it is (even though it’s perfectly legit), and a
callback to check is practically guaranteed. It’s not common at all for
controlled drugs like dexamphetamine to be prescribed in large amounts
- the usual practice is to have time limited refills, not double the
amount in one go (like what the doctor gave me today). This shows that
the doctor is placing a lot of trust in me by not following standard
prescribing procedure, and I don’t want to betray that trust.

Anyway, I had to wait a long time to get my script filled at the
chemist…I couldn’t see behind the counter, so I don’t know if they
actually called the doctor to check, it doesn’t matter anyway, since my
script is kosher. :) However, the reaction of the woman attending the
counter was soooo funny. Heh. The prescription dispensing happens at
the back and you go to the front to pay for it. There I was, carrying
my two lovely dexamphetamine pill bottles in a small basket…I put them
down on the counter, the woman picked up both the bottles and went:

“Oh, wow! This is a large amount eh?”

The funny thing about it was the way she squinted first, adjusted
her spectacles and the way her eyes bulged at the second visual
confirmation. Oh man, that just made my day! =D I guess you had to be
there. I would have thought that there would be plenty of people who
have cashed in much larger scripts before, so I really thought her
reaction was strange. Strange, but funny. :) Perhaps she’s new. I can’t
even think of an appropriate answer to that, and it sounds like a
rhetorical question anyway, so I just smiled and said “yeah” in
noncommittal tone.

udexbotr.jpg
The price for 1000 mg of dextroamphetamine sulfate is A$45.25. 200 x
5 mg dexamphetamine pills for less than A$50. :) Also, notice the 200
beside the top part. That usually states the number of pills in the
bottle, all my previous ones had 100 on them. Be still my beating
heart! Is it possible? Has the pharmacist made a disastrous mistake
while reading the script or counting the tablets and gave me 200 pills
in each bottle, totaling 400 tablets or 2000 mg of dexamphetamine?
Could it be? The anticipation!

Oh, I noticed a very large price discrepancy…it just boggles the
mind! Okay, I usually pick up 100 5 mg dexies for A$30.35. That’s the
price I’ve always paid. Now, at the very same chemist, I go and fill my
script of 200 tablets. They came in two pill bottles, each containing
100 tablets, and the price for BOTH of them is…A$45.25. What? It just
doesn’t make sense at all. It should have cost A$60.70. There shouldn’t
have been a discount as high as A$15.45 for just double the amount,
it’s not like a bulk discount for say 1000 tablets.

There’s some things which somewhat makes sense, like 100 x 0.5 mg
clonazepam costing A$18.85 and 100 x 2 mg clonazepam (from the same
chemist, same brand – Paxam) costing A$26.15. That’s not unusual in the
pharmaceutical industry, mg to mg comparisons makes the 2 mg ones much
cheaper, but still it’s two different doses and I understand that the
industry prices things like this. However, two similar strength and
amount things like the dexamphetamine tablets shouldn’t have such a
large discount when bought in twos. Is it common for chemists to make
such unusual price tiers?

Well, I’m happy it costs only 0.22625 cents for 5 mg of
dexamphetamine, it’s unbeatable compared to street prices for normal
speed. Oh, and the doctor told me during the first consultation that he
was wary of prescribing dexamphetamine coz there are people selling it
for A$5 per 5 mg pill on the streets. I was talking to CT today and he
mentioned that there are people selling it for A$4 at the university!
That’s per 5 mg pill! Absolutely crazy prices, I wouldn’t pay A$4 per
pill, but CT says that a lot of people will because they consider it to
be “pure and clean” because it came from a pharmaceutical company. I
would make quite a profit (A$750 net profit for 200 tablets) if I did
that. Even if I love the stuff, selling it at that price and buying
heaps of meth with the profit would be a feasible move. However, I’m
adverse to the idea of selling stuff, I don’t feel comfortable with it.
I don’t know why, but it just seems strange to me (I would not make a
good businessman) so I wouldn’t deal. Heck, I wouldn’t even middleman
for people, much less deal, I’m too paranoid for that to ever happen.
Paranoid = worried all the time = poor quality of life. :)

udexbotn.jpg
I counted the pills and the original label was right after all…there
is 100 pills per bottle, the two bottles total 200 pills as prescribed.
The chemist label was tabulating both the total amount. Ah, you got me
all excited for nothing! I just had to rush back to count the lovely
little things! :)

Anyway, I also got a Repeat Authorization form which I need some
help with. I can’t get through the prescription mumbo jumbo. Any
pharmacists, pharmacy school student or seasoned doctor
shopper/prescription frauder out there? I’ll appreciate it if you could
explain how the repeats work:

udexsref.jpg

The thing I don’t understand is the three columns under “Original
Prescription Transcription” (the part with DEXAMPHETAMINE TABLETS 5
MG). Below that are three columns: the first one is “Original
Prescription Details”, the second is “No. of times already dispensed
(including original supply). If original not supplied insert ’0′” and
the third is “PRICED ITEMS ONLY”. I’m interested in the first and
second one, and I neglected to ask at the pharmacists just now. The
first column has “2″ printed in “No. of Repeats Authorized” and the
second column has “1″ indicating it has been dispensed once. Now, what
I don’t understand is, do I still have 2 refills left, or 1?

Personally, I think I have 2 left, because the original script says
“Dexamphetamine 5mg (weird notation for 2) Bd (200) x 2 Rpts”. That
means I get two repeats right? Also, the bottle labels (from the
chemist) has “2 Rpts” printed on each bottle. All my past bottles has
“Nil Rpts” printed there. Unless pharmacists use a different discipline
of meth, sorry math, the chemist labels and original script plainly
says I have two repeats left for both the bottles, thus 800 pills (a
delicious 4000 mg of dextroamphetamine sulfate) awaits me, with 400
pills available after 50 days and the other 400 pills available another
50 days past the first repeat date. However, the repeat authorization
form seems to count the original prescription as a “repeat”. Or maybe I
just don’t know how to read it. I’ll appreciate it if anyone could shed
some light, coz I don’t feel like going to a pharmacy and asking. It
would be…uncomfortable, considering the day I cashed it is listed. Heh.
I don’t want to look too eager, like I’m just chomping at the bit to
get it filled. :p

dexad8.jpg
The protagonist of the pictorial series! Presenting – Dexamphetamine

Okay, I remember saying that I’ll go into why I’m going back for
good in June. Get ready for this…it’s coz I’m graduating! Hah! I did
fail a lot of subjects, but I managed to finish at the same time as my
college mates. Yeah! I had to pull a few strings and jump though
(fiery) hoops to graduate in June, but I’m graduating! That means I’m
going home for good in June, and it means that the repeats are wasted…I
did ask whether I can cash the script at any pharmacy at the chemists,
and the resident pharmacists said I can, but I have to make sure that
50 days have passed.

Yes, 50 days…each 100 tablet pill bottle is supposed to last me 25
days according to the 2 tablets, twice a day regiment I’m on for my
narcolepsy. Oh, if this is the first time you’re reading, I don’t
really have narcolepsy, so I don’t need to take it according to
instructions. I do suffer from amotivation though, and I’m
self-medicating by 60-150 mg dexamphetamine (150 mg is the most I’ll
take in a single sitting, more than that is pushing it for me) or the
methamphetamine equivalent, taken as needed (is there really any other
way? ;))! Haha! I’m so unfunny sometimes I kill myself.

dexad9.jpg
Dexamphetamine eating an ice cream.
Speech bubble: You know…I’m not really hungry…and the ice cream is much bigger than me!

Well, that means that I won’t be able to use the repeats, but I
should be glad coz the good doctor trusted me with a double dose, up
front. Not that he has any reason not to, from his point of view. ;) I
turn up regularly, clean shaven, no visible tattoos, dress
conservatively, and always carry a backpack to reinforce my “university
student” status. I’m also careful not to be tweaking when I go, I don’t
even drink caffeine! The dosage I’m taking is supposed to suppress my
narcoleptic manifestations, so I can lead a normal life, not get me all
strung out! In fact, I’m still sedated by benzos most of the time I go,
it won’t hurt to appear sleepy (might be good in fact, the doctor might
up the dose) but it’s not gonna look good to appear all spun out. Just
simple things like taking care to be soft spoken, polite, respectful
can go a long way in fostering trust and establishing an image of
responsibility. P’s and Q’s my friend, P’s and Q’s…

I just thought of something…I listed “excessive daytime sleepiness”
as one of my symptoms the first time and hey, I’m just realized I’m not
being untruthful at all…I really am sleepy during the day! :) The
cataplexy I described isn’t a total story too…I do get that, especially
after long meth runs. ;) Sleep paralysis w/hallucinations…yes, that
too, it’s especially prevalent when I’m in a K-hole. =D Perhaps I
really do have narcolepsy. Jokes aside, I do experience EDS though, but
probably not at the scale which narcoleptics suffer.

dexad10.jpg
Dexamphetamine in: Drug deal in progress @ abandoned car park!
Speech bubble: You got the money?

Okay, I’ve spent too much time writing, I’m going to stop now. The
repeat authorization is practically useless for me, I’ll be back home
in 50 days. I will go around and try to convince a sympathetic
pharmacist to refill my dexamphetamine thought, I’ll just say that I’m
going home and I’ll like to bring back a reasonable amount to keep my
narcolepsy under control. Of course, I won’t be bringing the stuff
back, dextroamphetamine is NOT prescribed in Malaysia! That means it’ll
go under the drug laws, and I’ll be treated like an amphetamine
trafficker. Well, to be fair, dextroamphetamine is an
amphetamine, and the recreational (fun) isomer of amphetamine at that,
but still…Anyway, it’s not listed in the Biro Pengawalan Farmaseutikal
Kebangsaan (Malaysia National Pharmaceutical Control Bureau) database,
so I won’t be taking any back with me that’s for sure! I’m may appear
reckless in my posts, but I’m not stupid in real life. ;)

I’m not sure what they do to treat narcolepsy in Malaysia, a Google
search didn’t turn up anything useful, heck, this site is one of the
returned hits, and I wouldn’t say that my ramblings are useful. There
are no amphetamine type drugs on Malaysia’s approved list of
medications, the only stimulant with recreational potential that’s
approved is methylphenidate (Ritalin) and that’s indicated for ADHD. I
wouldn’t be surprised if narcoleptics are just given caffeine pills…I
seriously hope that this is not true though, anyone with narcolepsy in
Malaysia who can testify otherwise? Nevertheless, it’s not going back
with me, not a single pill. Uh, why am I talking about this anyway, the
dexies never last more than a couple of days for me. I will try to
squeeze out a repeat though, and gobble them up before I head home. =D

Failing that, I’m still very thankful to the good doctor for
providing me with an extra 500 mg of dextroamphetamine, I would have
only got 100 tablets otherwise, and another 25 day waiting period will
see me back in Malaysia already. I’m not going to use tired, old
tactics like “Oh, I lost my pills (or the variation “I lost my (insert
object eg bag, car) with the pills in it”)/someone stole it/robbed
me/my pants pocket has a hole etc., can I have an early refill
please?”. On an effectiveness scale, that rates way down the bottom,
along with “classics” like telling your teacher your dog ate your
homework. :) Unless you have a police report or something, and well,
that’s on a whole new level that I’m not prepared to go to. Sharpening
your theatrical skills in front of a doctor is one thing, having police
as the audience is another.

I’m afraid I don’t have the balls (alternate phrase for “not stupid
enough” ;)) to walk into a police station and file a report that my bag
containing my prescribed 200 dexamphetamine pills was stolen. Lodging
false police reports is probably very illegal and besides, you’ll be
tying up law enforcement resources, and that’s not very nice,
considering they can be put to a better use like arresting users for
possession and arresting users for possession. I kid! :) Please don’t
kick down my door in retaliation, it’s a joke. I was already expecting
today to be the final day I get a dexamphetamine pill bottle, and it
probably is, but I got two instead of one, thanks to my doctor
scripting me 200 pills upfront instead of my usual 100 pills. Very much
appreciated indeed, and I’ll be sure to put my favourite white pills to
good use! Which means no more writing, damn, when will I stop?!?!? I’ll
work on the assignments now…really going to finish up now.

dexad11.jpg
Dexamphetamine getting up close and personal with lingerie model!
Speech bubble: *sigh* If only I could get it up…

Anyway, if there’s no pharmacist kind enough to refill me early
based on my true predicament (going back, need the script, thanks), the
dexamphetamine repeat authorization will be inherited by chemist_tip
in honor of all his help, generosity and trust. :) That’s 1000 mg (a
gram) of dextroamphetamine sulfate if there’s one repeat left and 2000
mg (2 grams) of dexamphetamine if there’s two. He’ll be the person who
would most appreciate the script, considering the fact that the vast
majority of my friends do not think the words “chemical” and
“recreation” have anything in common. Oh, I just thought of someone
else who likes dexamphetamine – Haggas, the guy who
occasionally comments on the dexamphetamine related posts. Well, just
wanted you to know that despite not knowing you in real life, I would
sooner mail the script to you than see it go to waste. You sound like
someone who really appreciates dexamphetamine. However, CT is a real
life friend so I’m passing it to him. My apologies and thanks for
reading! :)

Well, if you’re wondering whether scripts can be passed around, the
answer is yes (according to my experience). In my many trips to the
chemist to cash in scripts of benzodiazepines and dextroamphetamine,
not once have I been asked for any ID or my Medibank Private card. I’ve
been asked for a Medicare card though, and the correct reply to that is
“I’m using Medibank Private”, and then everything’s cool. They don’t
ask for your Medibank Private card or any other form of ID. As far as
the chemist is concerned, the person holding the script is the owner of
the script. This is not an issue with the repeat script though, since
my name is in the “Medicare No.” field (which means I don’t have a
Medicare card and is a private customer).

dexad12.jpg
Dexamphetamine living LARGE at the train station. Text mentions a
huge picture of a dex tablet and a final, farewell piece of poetry
below. The End.

Speech bubble: I could buy myself with a Zone 1 daily ticket…

It’ll be funny if CT goes personally to get the script filled
though. Oh man, I’m laughing out loud in the middle of the night, just
imagining that scenario. Heh! Imagine the look on the pharmacist’s face
when an obviously Caucasian male goes up to the prescription counter
and hands in a script with an Asian name on it for 200 x 5 mg tablets
of dexamphetamine (of all things). Haha! I wonder what the pharmacist’s
reaction would be…it will be priceless, that’s for sure. I can think of
two possible reactions and both of them cracked me up:

1. You’ve gotta be kidding me…(while alternating between looking at CT and the script)
2. Hmm…are you sure this prescription is for you? (with an unsure look and wanting to be tactful)

Heh! It would be a hoot eh? Imagine the possible range of reactions!
There are jaded pharmacists, new pharmacists, polite pharmacists, rude
pharmacists, interns etc etc. It would be so funny, but obviously CT
won’t find it funny if the pharmacist starts making phone calls, which
is why he needs to get an Asian guy to fill the script. It would be
smooth sailing then, coz they don’t ask for ID, unless it’s a ludicrous
situation like the one above. :)

Okay that’s enough from me, I just cut and pasted this into
Microsoft Word to check the word count – it’s close to 6,000 words…I
could have written an assignment instead. Oh well, hope you all enjoyed
reading this post, I sure enjoyed writing about it – a long post to
mark the end of my “legal, pure speed from your neighborhood pharmacy”
days. This is probably the last time I ever get amphetamines (and the
isolated dextro isomer (it’s more recreational) at that!) by walking
into a pharmacy and I’ve still not gotten over the fact that people can
do that here, with the right combination of words to a sympathetic
doctor. :) It would be hard to go back to Malaysia’s meth pills/street
meth when I’ve been spoilt by the pharmaceutical grade, dosage
measured, content ensured, hygienically packaged, and low priced
amphetamines here. I wouldn’t be getting 1 gram of speed (without
cutting and binding agents, actual weight is substance
quantity) for RM100 (A$45) that’s for sure. I don’t think I’ll get off
on one RM45 (A$20) speed pill with my current tolerance either – not
when I’ve been taking large doses of dextroamphetamine and
methamphetamine. This was what I meant in the beginning regarding
stopping – the prices back home just don’t appeal to me anymore.
Goodbye dexamphetamine, I will miss you!

Farewell, D5

hugedexp.jpg

Dexamphetamine…you will be missed…
Little white pills smelling of sweet chalk…
D – a perpetual smile
- – a single score signifying focus, concentration and single-mindedness
5 – delivering 5 mg of dextroamphetamine sulfate, guaranteed
Versatile, ready to be crushed and insufflated (together with a whole lotta binders, all the better to clog my nostrils with :))
Or eaten, providing quick stimulation within 30 minutes
Reliable…you always deliver what you promise
How I choose to use you is the only variable…

The ritual of opening the screw on cap,
Feeling the tangible weight of the bottle resting on my palm,
Pulling the thick cotton out,
Giving the bottle a good shake,
The pills rolling out into my open hand,
The way I go “two, four, six, eight, ten, twelve” (and often more)…
Sometimes I have to shake more out,
Sometimes I have to put excess pills in,
Always on an empty stomach, with urinary alkalinizers at regular periods…
Making you work harder, longer, stronger
I will miss the other things too…
Like holding my urine for prolonged periods of time…:)
Another effort to make you last longer
The bladder pressure almost seems pleasurable.

The thing I will miss most about you…
“The score” – a symbol of the focus, the concentration and the single-mindedness,
The productivity, the mental clarity, the speed of thought you give…
and yes, the euphoria and the rush when you announce your presence.
The urge to fiddle and fix minor things, you bless me with the gift of perfectionism that I never had,
Turbo charging my brain, making hard tasks easy,
Boring tasks fun, repetitive work pleasurable.
The greatest catalyst of all, things get done quickly when you’re around
Speed – you’ve truly earned that name.
Dexamphetamine…traveling at the speed of light…
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…

dexlook.jpg
500 mgs of dextroamphetamine loving

Dexedrine. That’s the brand name for dextroamphetamine
[rxlist.com]. Dextroamphetamine is the dextro isomer of amphetamine
sulfate (the street drug called speed). I wonder if dextroamphetamine
and dexamphetamine refers to the same thing. [Edit: I just found out
that dexamphetamine and dextroamphetamine is the same thing.] I’ll
appreciate it if any pharmacy students clears this up in the comments.
It has the same effects as amphetamines and it’s a very controlled
prescription drug, very much more so than benzos, due to it’s addictive
nature. Again, I put my trust in my acting skillz and I got a bottle of
100 x 5 mg tablets for my ‘narcolepsy’ ;). They are white pills with
D/5 on one side and no imprint on the other. The edges are beveled.
It’s the instant release kind, not that time release bullshit. Woo!
From my subjective experiments, I would say that 3 of these pills would
be equal to one of those feng tau yuen pills you get in Malaysia. I’m
talking about the “no sleep” ones that contains (meth)amphetamines, not
the ketamine pills. The “no sleep” feng tau yuen contains the same
chemical anyway.

Well, I took 4 tablets and crushed one up and insufflated it. Whoa!
Dextroamphetamine should really be snorted instead of eaten. It gave me
such a huge head rush when I insufflated it. You have to snort hard and
get all the powder from the pill deep into your sinuses for that rush
though. The drip wasn’t too bad tasting, but snorting more than a
couple of these beauties would clog up your nose really fast.

dexbox.jpg
Mosiac on my real name (used medical insurance coz this stuff is expensive) and the doctor’s name

Well after eating 4 and snorting one, I felt really good.
Amphetamine type feelings, like eating a strong feng tau yuen. Very
energetic and euphoric and I couldn’t stop talking. Hmm…there’s this
saying which goes “Never let a speed freak near you or he’ll talk your
ear off”. Heh. Very true, this one made me very sociable. It doesn’t
cloud your mind either, I could work and read fine.

In fact, my concentration increased (happens with all amphetamines
though) and I felt like my IQ doubled and I could work three times as
fast as I usually could. Of course, I pulled those numbers out of my
ass, and it’s probably just perception but you could really get some
good studying done on these things. Anyway, like all amphetamines there
is a very strong compulsion to have more. After a couple of minutes I
ate another two pills and had another two pills 15 minutes later.

That was when I reached the peak and damn, was it euphoric! It was
amazing, clean and in my opinion a better high than methamphetamines. I
couldn’t sit still and felt absolutely wonderful. I couldn’t go out and
party though coz I had some stuff to do so I thought it was a good idea
to call random people.

I think I called more than 10 people. It felt good just to talk, but
I’m the type of guy that LOVES stimulants. I couldn’t stop smoking too,
another amphetamine type effect I get. I think all smokers chain smoke
while on amphetamines because it somehow feels much better than it does
normally. The buzz was really good, I heard someone call this phenomena
“reward smoking”. It’s when smokers who take amphetamines start to
crave for cigarettes and couldn’t resist the urge to smoke due to some
kind of dopaminergic (sp?) activity amphetamines cause. Don’t quote me
on this though.

dexlook.jpg
I found out that it’s much easier to photograph white pills on a black background using macro mode

Anyway, I smoked a pack of Marlboros and still wanted more. I broke out my Nicorette Inhaler
[nicorette.com.au] and toked hard on that instead. That reminds me,
I’ll write about the Nicorette Inhaler some other time. It’s really
nifty. I had a bit of a panic attack when I couldn’t find the inhaler
stem though. I was all out of cigarettes and I had a craving from hell
and the inhaler was nowhere to be found! I practically overturned my
room and finally found it. Nothing has ever looked so beautiful before.
I smoked all the 4 remaining nicotine cartridges. I was still fiending
after that so I smoked half a cigarette that I used to mix with
cannabis. Ugh, stale. I usually smoke cannabis alone, but sometimes a
bit of tobacco makes it good as well.

Anyway, I called one of my good friends and talked to her for a long
time. We really connected too, it’s kinda like MDMA in that sense. I
also talked to someone I haven’t seen in 5 years and it was great! I
had a nice long chat with her about everything and made up for lost
time. I also got this bright idea to call fuzzy (Stephanie Goh)
[absolutely-fuzzy.com] in New Zealand. :) Surprisingly, the rates to NZ
were much higher than to Malaysia for some reason. I’m in Australia if
you’re wondering. I could only talk for 15 minutes on an A$10 card. It
was the Super Saver Card.

I was lazy to go out so I called my friends to see if anyone had a
spare calling card. No one had any, but one of my friends picked me up
to get a calling card at 7-11. What a nice guy eh? Drove out just to
get me to the nearest 7-11 to grab a calling card. :) The calling card
was It’s Green Card and I called Stephanie again and could also
only talk for 15 minutes. How strange, I’ve always thought NZ rates
were very, very low. Something like 3 cents a minute or something. What
is wrong with these cards? NZ is nearer and yet the per minute charges
were higher.

dexpills.jpg
*drool*

Well, Stephanie is a really nice girl and very easy to talk to. I
still think she speaks too fast though. :) I’m glad I called her. She
was drinking coffee at home when I called. She’s one of those friendly
people that’s easy to talk to so that’s good coz I originally wanted to
call just to hear what her voice sounded like. Heh. We talked about
Wanganui and Melbourne and some other stuff. I also remembered
discussing raves vs clubs.

I can’t remember much though, I had too much clonazepam tablets in
the past few days and that totally negates short term memory.
Fortunately my long term memory was pretty much unaffected so words
like “Saddle”, “Lai Ming” and such were used in the conversation. :)

Anyway, over the course of the night I took 11 dextroamphetamine
tablets and insufflated 2 for a total of 13. The first dose was very
euphoric but boosting the dose didn’t really do much except prolong the
high. Don’t chase the high with this one. I’m feeling very scattered
towards the end and could hardly hold up my end of the conversation.
Uh, like all amphetamine type stimulants it shrunk my member to the
size of a pea and I found it very hard to take a piss too. It was all
good fun though. Dextroamphetamine is dangerous for me…I just like it
too much! I love stimulants in general. I’m going to make drugs a
weekend thing instead of a daily thing from now on. Gotta be careful
now.

Amphetamines are addictive for me coz I love their stimulating
effects so much so I have to be really careful with it. In fact, I’m
thinking about popping a couple right now. The bottle is just there
seducing me! Dammit, me and my poor self control with regards to drugs.
I’ll just settle for one last one before locking it into my desk. I
hate myself. :( I haven’t eaten anything for two days too. Amphetamines
= appetite suppressant.

Amphetamine type stimulants are actually a really good way to diet.
It works through three ways – appetite supression, increased metabolism
and exercise. Exercise coz you feel like you gotta do something to keep
you busy. I’m not recommending this diet though, but I’ve used it
before and the results were shocking! I lost 15 kgs in a week after
daily use with minimal food (no appetite).

[Edit: I keep eating more and more pills...too compulsive! :( ]

Total dextroamphetamine tablets consumed: 21 x 5 mg tablets for a total of 105 mgs.

That is still within the safe range. I think.

I’ll write the

Project Doctor Shopping

Episode II – Project Divine Stimulation

Traveling at the Speed of Light

another day.

I’m feeling very scattered now. Good for going to a rave and really
caning it but not so good for doing work. I’ll take less next time.

Stimulants + no sleep + no food = crash

I’m not looking forward to tomorrow…

What’s the difference between doctors and drug dealers again? ;)

Caution:
Possessing this class of presciption drugs without a prescription will
get you arrested. Seriously, it’s heavily regulated and you need a
doctor’s script.

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