It’s 4:20 somewhere

Sunday brings another report from my wayward friend. =D Please note that cannabis is illegal in
all Australian states. ACT and South Australia are the only states which has decriminalized small
amounts for personal use. In all other states, possession alone can bring penalties ranging from a
A$5000 fine to a 3 years in jail. The laws are constantly changing though and there are
inconstancies in enforcement. Police usually do not arrest and press charges if you have
small amounts but don’t count on that. The following report was written by “Mr. Foaf”, a friend of
a friend. If you’re wondering, yes, he is the same guy who wrote the DXM report. All text following
this sentence is written by “Mr Foaf”.

I was in the mood for some weed so I decided to sample some Australian hydroponically grown
cannabis sativa to determine the THC concentrations present in a typical gram bag. All for the
furtherment of science of course. I’m selfless that way. *preens*

I got this stash from a friend, who got it from a friend of a friend. Nevermind, the sources of
drugs are always meant to be intentionally complicating. On visual inspection, the plant material
looks good. There are two whole buds in the gram bag, with everything intact. On closer scrutiny,
brown tendrils could be seen covering the bud. Here is a picture of the cannabis that I took. This
is taken on a slightly off white piece of cardboard in macro mode. I forgot that this was supposed
to be a scientific report and neglected to put a coin or something beside it as a size reference.
It’s roughly the size of the side of a tic tac box.

The colors may be slightly off because I had a incandescent lamp shining on it while I was
taking a photo.

I started to card the weed (manually pulling off small bits to prepare for smoking) and was
pleased to find a stickiness indicating the presence of substantial resin. For those not familiar
with the substance, a high resin content is favored by connoisseurs of cannabis because resin is
where the highest concentrations of THC (the stuff that is psychoactive in cannabis) is. The smell
of the weed was STRONG. I kept getting whiffs of it while it was in my pants pocket and I could
smell it even though it’s inside a drawer at home. It smells very “grassy” for a lack of a better
term. Like freshly mowed grass crossed with an acidic citrus fruit.

An aside: The last time I smoked cannabis was several years ago at the residence of a friend of
a friend (not in Australia). The front door was open the whole time, and so was the gate and we
were taking hits from a bong in direct view of the street. I was totally freaked out that day
because I kept fearing the police were coming in to bust us. I swore I heard sirens and saw
flashing lights twice! We were watching Talos the Mummy (to bring the timeline in perspective) and
there were three times I swear I saw police in uniform busting into the house. Needless to say, it
wasn’t a good night. I’ve never been so paranoid in my life, even on speed. But damn, that was some
fine ass weed indeed. It only cost A$15 (converted to Australian dollar from the local currency)
and the weed was still fresh and wet. The dealer told me it’s from Thailand and from my amateur
identification, it’s probably an cannabis indica strain. I dare say it’s the best weed I’ve smoked
even though it totally freaked me out. I digress.

Anyway, about the current stash. I smoked it in two settings, one in joints and the other time
with a dry pipe. I have to say that the best way to get high is the spots (hot knives) method, but
it wasn’t convenient to do that at my place. I kept a small journal during both times and here
there are:

First session: Joints

Text dump:

I’m not very good at rolling joints, so I did a small practice one first. Smoked this one, light
up buddy and get high. High times baby. Heh. The first one didn’t really give me a buzz, but a bit
of a nice feeling. I smoked the second one and damn I was fucked!  I am such a smart ass I
named this file thc.doc instead of marijuana.doc or something like that! LOL! Anyway, I’m listening
to both songs and one time and damn, its nice  One is a VCD and I have winamp going on too
on another song and it all melds together, but the VCD one is louder now. I thought it was the
winamp one that’s faster. Surprising, coz I swear, the winamp is louder now! And then it’s the
media player’s turn to be faster and louder. I feel like I’ve been typing this for a while and
suddenly the media player went woo! And I was like FUCK! What the hell is going on? Hehehehe damn
that’s pretty trippy and the volume is real loud. Makes me jump on every loud cymbal. Hah! I’m
sqinching down in my seat now coz if it goes again ooooooihgggg that sure is painfull>! Hahaha I
can’t stop launghing but I’m hurting too coz when the sound goes cymbal then I’ll jump up in pain.
I’m not going to waste my time writing now, gotta listen to the music and watch and much on some
Violet Crumble! Mmm…a whole bag of it. Heh. The sound is still making me jump even though I
turned it down already.  Laterz…

I’m watching Half Baked now while pretty out of it and damn that is a fucking good film! That
joint smoking one is pretty fucked! I love that movie +D I’m going to watch it now and it’s so
trippy to watch while high…damn they are trippy good! And that’s the official recommendation.
->

Translation:

Cannabis can impair judgment and cause a loss of inhibition, making otherwise intelligent people
sound like blithering idiots. The movie Half Baked is fun to watch while stoned. The cannabis
produces an “uppy” high and a very indica-like narcotic plateau. I didn’t want to move at all
during the plateau. The smoke is sweet, unlike the spicy ass Thailand stuff I smoked last time. The
total time of altered consciousness: 4 hours. High rating: 8/10 (higher is higher).

Second session: Dry pipe

Text dump:

can hallucinate
wow this is the good shit
lots of noise and hallucination plasma (i coined that term!) even when eyes are
opened!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lines, blothches, shapes wutg colors! lightning! flickers, promising
flickers of VISTAS! even more promising when closed eyed. True vistas that continue and is large
scale and can be influenced but only 4 tone color though. but realistic vistas with white lightning
like a thunder dance. 🙂 I will consult with my CEV vistas now.

I wanted to say something funny but i forgot. bummer. 🙂

did i just get high on mj (one hit shit) or off the inhalents as i sprayed deodorizer all over my
room a lot of times, saturating it. i remembered!

watching monty pythons meaning of life is trippy! this is the first time i watched it. Oh, man
that worker scene is trippy!

Translation:

Cannabis can impair judgment and cause a loss of inhibition, making otherwise intelligent people
sound like blithering idiots. Mild closed eye visuals (CEVs) are apparent in this session. I
stuffed the crack of the door with clothes and closed all windows except a southward one and
sprayed my room full of air freshener. I’m still wondering if the CEVs were from the weed or the
solvents in the air freshener. 🙂 Monty Python’s Meaning of Life is another good stoner movie.
Total time of altered consciousness: 3 hours. High rating: 7/10 (higher is higher).

This report has been brought you by “Mr Foaf”.

End of report.

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