Saya (N)anti Rasuah

saya nanti rasuah

I
was blindsided by a traffic police roadblock at the U-turn from Kelana
Jaya LRT station leading to Jalan Bahagia and Giant LDP while heading
towards the Kelana Parkview TMpoint to get my Streamyx sorted out. The
thing about KL U-turns is that it’s completely blocked by a mass of
concrete so you don’t know what’s on the other side, especially if
you’re going too fast.

Anyway, I did such a U-turn the other day
and immediately ran into a roadblock. It was so near the exit of the
U-turn that it’s a good thing I didn’t run literally into the
roadblock. I had hoped for a break since the traffic police was
stopping the car in front of me, so I quickly pulled the seatbelt on –
but no such luck. The eagle-eyed police saw me and gestured at me to
pull over.

I had wanted to take a photo – my first traffic
ticket in KL, just after 5 days of driving over here, but that would
ruin my chances of getting off without a ticket since a photo would
mean they would have to do it the Proper Way (TM). Anyway, the
traffic police did the usual license and registration thing (except
over here it’s MyKad/IC and driving license), while I did my best pitch:

HB: Eh, sorry tuan,
I’m new to KL, just got here from Sarawak and I don’t know the way so I
was just reaching towards the back to get my map. I had the seatbelt on
all along.
Police: Map? What map? There’s no map in your car. *peers into the back seat of my car*
HB: Er…I
meant I was looking at the road signs. I have problems with my eyesight
so I had to squint a little. I just loosened the seatbelt, I had it on
all the time.
Police: No, you didn’t. You put it on when you saw me.
HB: Yes, I did, I had it on all the time. Honest. Anyway, since I’m new here, I was hoping you could help me out.
*I pull out my wallet and discreetly thumbed a RM 50 note out, just a little, to see his reaction*
Police: Hmm…well…
HB: Okay with you officer? Help me out here.
Police: Okay, like this also good. You senang, I senang. (Less hassle for the both of us)

rasuah 50

I passed him the RM 50 note and he passed me back my MyKad and driver’s license. The good Gabenor talks, and bullshit walks.

The long arm of the law, eh? ;)

Police: What’s your name?
HB: Poh.
Police: Okay, thank you Poh. It’s better this way. You senang, I senang. Drive safely.

Now,
this police gives me a big ass grin and smiled at me in an
uncharacteristically friendly manner as I was pulling off. He even
waved at me, I shit you not.

This got me wondering…have I given too much? I don’t want to spoil the market, what are the rates over here in KL?

I
don’t use a seatbelt coz I see it as a victim less crime. I don’t like
being restrained and I don’t see how it affects other people. It does
no harm to anyone except myself.

Nevertheless, how much do you pay for getting off without a ticket in KL? Can someone enlighten me on the rates for:
Driving without a seatbelt
Driving over the speed limit
Tinted windows
DUI/DWI

Rates for JPJ and our fine traffic police would be much appreciated.

I don’t want to spoil the market for my fellow KL-lites.

You know la, you senang, I senang. ;)

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42 thoughts on “Saya (N)anti Rasuah”

  1. i’d say 20-50 :)
    20 by saying ‘tolong lah encik, masih student, takde duit!’ and i drive an old Kenari, so that helps.
    but got lucky a few times without paying a single sen… *wink wink* at him and in the sweetest voice, go, “abaaaaang…” :)
    JPJ summonses, no need to pay :) HAHAHAH! I have a stash in my car.

  2. I think you should be more careful when posting “giving tips” things online.
    You never know what might happen, especially with the overzealous nim-wits around these days.

  3. Just to be on the safe side, especially when your personal details like name etc are online for all to see.
    They can still charge you for “giving tips”.

  4. You just got off a ticket for 50rm?! Holy fuck. Here in California the police have “Honour” and “Respect”. No senang here. How much is it if you did get the ticket?

  5. 50 bucks should be a normal rate bah.. the least i heard is 20 bucks, just say sorry lah i takda bawa manyak duit, so better don’t put too much cash in the main compartments

  6. these ppl always hide at the u-turn, it is so common, so just becareful next time. i have never kena any bak kua yet…..i hope not.

  7. My friend has gotten away with RM13 before. He showed the police that he had only RM18 in his wallet and told him that he hadn’t had lunch yet. So the police returned RM5 to him.

  8. once i kena stopped in speed trap for the following offences
    i) speeding
    ii) expired road-tax
    iii) no driving license
    damage = rm50 also

  9. Umm…this post could get you in trouble yknow. Anyway, there are lots of cops around in Kelana Jaya. That’s a popular spot, so is another in SS3 and SS6 where people tend to make illegal U-Turns. Another popular spot is the U-Turn at the underpass after Ikea. ALWAYS there. And also the left turning into Mutiara Damansara right after One Utama.
    Be careful then! :)

  10. Driving without a seatbelt
    Driving over the speed limit
    If I’m not mistaken the highest fine you can get for these offences is RM300.
    But don’t worry you can always plead to the JPJ authority to lower the fine. I did that before and they gave me a RM70 fine for driving without seatbelt offence. They said that’s the lowest they can give since it’s my first traffic offense. My fine receipt even got the word “Rayuan” on it lol.

  11. you’re just encouraging them to eat more
    i personally do not give bribes anymore, its people like you who wants a short cut out from trouble that make bolehland possible.
    good job there sucker!

  12. Pay the fucking summons, it’s people like you that continue the corruption in this country.
    I’m kinda disappointed tbh, this is nothing to be proud of.
    You broke the law, be man enough to face the consequences.

  13. RM20-50 are the going rates but DUI could cost you RM100. Try to make it a habit by keeping just RM20-30 bucks in your wallet so that it’s easy to get the negotiation done fast. You just tell the “Saya anti anti-rasuah” officer that’s all you have and he/she (i see more tudung traffic cops nowadays) can either take it or leave it. Chances are they will take it.
    My best encounter was 3 years ago on Kepong LDP towards Batu Caves. Kena flagged down and the officer claimed I was 10km above speed limit. I didn’t want to bribe the guy and prepared just to take the damn ticket and carry on with my journey. Then the officer asked: “Tak mahu minta maaf ker?” I couldn’t fucking believe what I heard but I immediately replied “Mahu tuan” and paid the fucker RM50.

  14. Why not use the seatbelt? Seems like a good idea to use it.. and keeps cops at bay as well. Could save your life, accidents happen when you least expect them to happen.

  15. This is absolute ballocks.
    Assholes like you and the 20 other commentors here is everything that is wrong with this country. You broke the law, then broke another law by offering a bribe. And every other Malaysian complains about corruption. Screw you people. You made a mistake, at least have the dignity to pay the piper.
    When you don’t wear your seatbelt and fly out of the car in an accident and croak on the spot, fine – like you said it affects you alone. But here’s food for thought – what if you don’t die on the spot and they need to rush an ambulance to take you to the hospital, and what if somewhere else, someone else needed the ambulance as well? You just killed the guy too.

  16. Nice, not only did you break 2 laws, you brag about it on your blog. No wonder this country is going to the dogs. Corrupt is rampant in Malaysia thanks to folks who fuck others over by taking shortcuts at the expense of others. Well done!
    If you get caught, at least have the balls to admit and face the consequences. Grow a pair.

  17. Massive typo: I meant to say “Corruption is rampant in Malaysia thanks to folks who fuck others over by taking shortcuts at the expense of others.”

  18. bro, RM50 is pretty standardize here..i kena twice on my way to cheras and now I’ve 2 speeding tickets through the online system…never knew that i got the summon until i check online…sia soi malaysia nia….

  19. HB, Since worked in insurance on claims and lawsuits I seen many cases drivers who are impatient cause it. Yes blame other drivers which they have to fight it out in courts and do win. If you know you are right hold your ground.
    Remember every details in your mind and report it to insurance company. The adjuster may sometime be wrong also or just want to hike up your policy. Small claim courts is where people do win cases. Many drivers blackmail for money too.

  20. where do you think the money paid to govt goes? it goes into some lame ministers pockets, might as well give the money to traffic cops as token of appreciation, as the saying goes … semua orang senang…

  21. HB, 50 is too much nowadays. In KL, price starts from 20.
    For your case I would give 20 and not more then 30.
    Sometimes, you might be able to settle it for 5.

  22. Oh dear – fail on 2 counts!
    Firstly, wearing a seatbelt is *not* your own choice, it gives you more control of the car in an even minor accident, thus preventing your possible death and the fate of others around you. Scenario: You hit the steering wheel, get knocked unconscious and swerve into other drivers/motorcyclists causing further potential deaths or injuries.
    Secondly, agree 100% with ST & others above, *don’t* give in to corruption just for the sake of your short term gain. Malaysia as a whole loses every time someone does this! Make the system work, don’t “short change”it ;)
    Heh! As I always use my GB license, they just look, even if I was doing “somewhat over the speed limit,” at it and look at my obvious determination not to get my wallet out, and always just let me go. I’m not deliberately gaming the system, they just can’t be bothered to do the paperwork for a foreign license. LOL!

  23. Hey HB; just to give you an example of what it costs here in North Carolina, USA: ( all this is in US dollars)
    Driving without seat belt ( for you or any passengers in your car 75 each. plus ” court costs” = 150. Plus your insurance costs go up 200 every year for 7 years.
    Driving over speed limit- 90-120, unless you were in a school zone or more than 15 mph over posted speed limit. Then up to 300 and you can lose your right to drive. Plus court cost = 150-500. Your insurance costs go up 200-300 per year for each ticket. Get more than 3 or 4 in one year, lose your license. (in this state that kind of means lose your job also, since every thing is spread out, and you gotta drive to live.
    Dark windows – Cops hate that shit, they cannot see what is going on the car (guns, drugs, etc..) – 75 plus court cost – 150, but it is not a “moving violation”. Falls under the same category as driving without an inspection sticker on your car. No increase in insurance charges, but you gotta get it fixed to register your ride.
    DUI – bend over dude, for you are about to get it. You get to spend the night in jail (Maybe two or three if you get picked up on a friday night), pay at least 200 to get your car back after seing the judge, your driving rights may be revoked except for work, then pay about 3000 in fines, for the first offense. God help you if you were actually involved in an accident or this is the second time. Better have a good laywer for that, one who knows the judge (3000- 7000 ). Double or triple that amount in fines. Your liability insurance, if you can get it at all (required to drive) will go to about 3500 -4000. per car year ( for a car like your’s in the photo, about 4500 ) You will also be required to take ” DUI education classes” _ for which YOU will pay (1500). Plus no one will hire you for a good job, because you are now considered irresponsible. (DUI show up on your crimminal record) I won’t even say anything about offering bribes. That is a good way to stay in jail for a long, long time time here. (no matter what you see on the movies, the cops, especially the Highway Patrol, are very straight arrow, and would take great offence at even the offer of a bribe.
    One last thing : put your damn seatbelt on. Not cause it is the law, but because they can save your ass. Mine has saved my life twice. If you don’t like feeling restrained, Imagine how you might enjoy a full body cast for 3 or 4 months – if you survive.
    (sorry to be so “preachey”). I did stupid shit when I was your age – most guys do – ( I am now 48) and just trying to spare you the hassle.
    Tom

  24. YOU used to encourage them to eat more.
    YOU personally do not give bribes anymore, it’s people like YOU who used to want a short cut out from trouble that makes bolehland possible.
    Good job there sucker! YOU’re an Ass. Asshole.
    Yup! Nothing better than knowing how to criticize and put someone down for their wrongdoings, yet at the same time is dumbass enough to willingly admit that you used to behave like said person whom you gots teh gall to direct your feelings of disgust towards, lolz, and act as if your shit doesn’t fucking smell when you are censuring him for what he has done! Nevermind that I used to be like that also, man!! What matters NOW is that HE is still a bribin’, corruption-advocating sonuvabiatch, man!!! SO imma be here attacking him man!!! Very teh justifiably of course, lolz, giving people the impression that i am, and was all along, such a person who doesn’t engage in such fucked-damned incarceration-worthy acts, when in the very same comment i had already made an admission there!! Holy crap pot!!! omg can kettle haz come??? need urz help lulz.
    dynomite.

  25. There are many good reasons to buckle up, some already mentioned by the others who’ve left comments. Remember that we not only belong to ourselves but also to our loved ones. If something happens to us, we’re not the only ones who get hurt. It’s so simple to do, let’s all put on our seatbelts :) After a few days, you’ll get used to the feel of wearing them, you forget you’re strapped to your seat. Drive and arrive.

  26. I totally agree with ST and Vincent. Most of you guys here are one of the causes of rampant corruption in Malaysia. This mentality of paying off cops need to go. This is 3rd class and 3rd world mentality. If you break a law, you pay the fine. I am not surprised that you will be called by Police soon to give statement as I am sure someone has send this post link to PDRM, KDN or Media.

  27. Hmm…everyone has a point somewhere and I have been advised against doing this. I don’t want my time in KL to be spent being questioned in a police station considering I’m starting work soon.
    Sorry ram_beat and other Constant Readers, sometimes you gotta watch out for #1 too. :)

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