The African man

car keys

I feel like blogging about this coz it doesn’t happen very often (or at all) in KL. I was supposed to meet Michelle at Coffee Bean, bsc and I parked my car near the lift. Usually I instantly put my car keys in my pocket but I called her instead to see where she was since she arrived before me.

Thus, the keys were still in my hand and I put it on the table when I saw her.

We adjourned to Dome to meet someone and then sat at near the water feature in the central concourse to discuss several matters. Out of a sudden, this African man in a suit came up to me. I thought he wanted to sell me something until he asked me whether I had my car keys with me.

I checked my pockets and FML I really did leave my car keys behind!

(and didn’t even notice it)

Now, the time when I arrived to the time at the water feature was about 2 hours. The man searched for me for two hours while his daughter waited at Coffee Bean.

I’m pretty sure he’s not Malaysian but we can learn a thing or two from this man.

Thanks man, for your act of kindness. It’s very rare in this city. We sure could use more people like you. :)

Flatuation

noxious fumes

I was in the elevator just now and my sinuses detected something a bit off in the olfactory ambience.

Is it just me or do you also “double sniff” – as in if you smell something noxious you use your God given senses to sniff again even though you know it would be awful? It’s just that urge that makes you wonder if it’s really a fart or something else and, more importantly, whether it was you who let one rip. smirk

RM 2 flat rate parking daily!

fixed fee coupon

I have managed to secure a bundle of RM 2 flat rate parking coupons from my friendly neighbourhood parking assistant. These coupons allows you to park for as long as you want and exit with just a RM 2 fee.

The parking lot has been automated and the bars don’t lift up at 10 pm anymore, so I felt this was a necessary investment. However, my macha sold it to me at face value – RM 2 per coupon, which makes me wonder where he sourced it from.

Best not to think of it, as the saying goes, you senang, I senang. (Easy for you, easy for me). ;)

Nostalgia Glasses!

doris memories

Selling fast! It only comes in one color – Rose tinted. ;)

Okay, I was talking to a coworker yesterday when she mentioned something that made me think of my ex gf. I realized how much I have wronged her.

I called her last night (against all the Time Tested (TM since Time Immemorial (TM) by Adam) advice that THOU SHALT NOT CALL EX GIRLFRIENDS WHEN DRUNK).

Well, I wasn’t that inebriated, was quite sober actually. It’s good to touch base though – not the third/fourth base kind of base but the get-your-mind-out-of-the-gutter kind of touching base.

It was good – updating each other on our lives right now and how far we’ve gone since we came to KL together.

Thanks for helping with me with my taxes! <3

Funny how photos turn B&W with age. smirk

Anyway, remember the new Toyota Vios? They’re running a Twitter contest where you stand a chance to win TRD merchandise just by RT their tweet. Follow @ToyotaMY for details!

RM 500 bribe for failing a breathalyser test

fuck the police

I had four drinks. FOUR. I was sober as hell when I drove home. I was praying to the heavens above that there won’t be a road block coz I’m a cop magnet.

Guess what?

No don’t guess, you know from the title of the post.

I kena road block. Jalan Kuching while going back from Zouk.

The first car was stopped, the second car was let go, and I was hoping mine would be too since I was ferrying 2 girls and didn’t look too dodgy.

Alas.

That was not meant to be.

The police asked me if I had drank tonight. I wanted to be truthful so I said yes, a little.

Enter breathalyser.

I blew (cheated coz I held air in my mouth and exhaled halfway).

The cops asked me to do it again and I failed. There isn’t even any indication of how much I have exceeded the limit. It can’t be much since 1 drink per hour is the usual rule of thumb.

I was told to get out of the car and you know the drill. Go to police station, blood test if you want to contest the breathalyser and overnight in jail.

I said I’ll settle it for RM 300.

The police refused. They had the BALLS to ask me to go back to my car and ask my friends for money. They took another look at me and said I had to go for a urine test too. WTF????

I went back and rummaged further and discovered I had RM 400. Mich passed me RM 100 and I told her not to give me anymore, not going to pay the pigs so much.

The fucking porker came over and I said RM 500 is all I have and passed it to him.

He was pretty happy and let me go, even telling me that there is an (unopened) can of beer in my car. It’s been there forever!

I am giving the middle finger here as a big fuck you to the men in blue not coz of the DUI (wasn’t even drunk but I shall not comment further). I’m not saying they are assholes for probably messing with the breathalyser to fail everyone who has taken a single sip. I am not angry at them for doing their job, staying up late at night, manning road blocks so your tax money is hard at work GETTING THEM SIDE INCOME.

I am pissed off coz they had the audacity to get me to ask my friends for more money.

Hello PDRM? It is my fault, what’s it gotta do with them? BTW, you have corrupted cops (not that it’s breaking news – it’s stale as a 4 year old slice of bread) every weekend pocketing money from people driving home from clubs.

…and to all the sanctimonious fucks out there, get off your fucking high horse – it happens to everyone. Yes, I was over the limit but 4 drinks within 3 hours isn’t that much. Yes, it is technically wrong to bribe cops. I’ll like to see you stick to your untested rationale when you’re damn tired and just want to go home and is threatened with a night in jail and a urine test. We’ll see what you’ll do then. Judge not lest ye be judged yourself.

Oh, and of course I know certain opportunist parties out there will say “See, that’s why you shouldn’t sit in Huai Bin’s car” and trying to pass it of as a joke. YOU are the joke my friend. Everyone knows you slam others in front of everyone else, I don’t know about other people but I certainly don’t take you seriously. I think you’re a malicious little fuck.

Anyway, if you don’t like reading rants, please go watch Barney the cute purple dinosaur on TV. Yeah, switch on that idiot box.

Ending on a more positive note, thanks Mich, you’re an angel. Cheers for agreeing to take over the wheel after that just in case there are more road blocks and for everything else. <3

Falling off could result in severe injury or death

falling off the wagon

I found this sign hilarious. It was on a buggy (or a wagon, if you will). Falling off (the wagon) could result in severe injury or death. Well, no shit Sherlock!

No dual meanings, I’m still on the wagon but my sleep addled mind is sprouting all sorts of crap which doesn’t even make sense to me.

charity eh

Anyway, I was looking through my BB and found this photo of me and a kid (tween?) in an orphanage the last, last time I did some charity. The previous one was also an orphanage but tomorrow I’ll be doing something different!

2 hour bus ride to an island to plant some trees! I need to wake up early, and yes, that is my cue to stop writing. I’ll update again tomorrow night!

damn sexy tshirt

One last random photo – I love statement tees, but unfortunately all the ones I have are gone due to an unfortunate trip to KK where my baggage was lost. :(

My new studio apartment

*pleased*

living room

I have found a new place in record time and for once I’m not settling for it coz I’m in a rush to get a roof over my head. I really, really like it. =D

Behold! My new studio unit!

bedroom

I went straight after work so I didn’t have a digicam or dSLR with me. The crappy photos don’t do it justice, especially with a hyperbolic word like “behold”, which should probably be reserved for divine entities. :p

dining table

It’s a studio so there are no doors to speak of. Open concept. I can even see the toilet from my dining table. :)

kitchen

It’s fully furnished and comes with everything…even the kitchen sink (obviously la).

infinity pool

There’s also an infinity pool, Jacuzzis and saunas so I’m looking forward to moving in this weekend!

The only thing that’s lacking is broadband so I’m going to get my Streamyx transferred over to this studio! I’m not switching coz Streamyx has been working reliably for me all this while. =D

A place for my head

c feminine

Greetings from a very feminine toilet! I kinda like it actually – it’s such a change from my minimalistic bachelors pad.

c alor

I met Eddie and Fish Fish just now, who flew over from the US for a day. Cynthia came down (technically up) from Australia. We did the Jalan Alor touristy thing (hey, the food there is good) and…

c gifts

…Ed came bearing gifts as usual!

c sleep

Good times with old friends indeed. I’ll be heading down to KL to spend time with them before all three fly off again tomorrow.

c blogging

Unfortunately, my car decided to get up close and personal with a ditch last night so I’m crashing at a friend’s place.

c car

Oh ya, Cynthia got a me a car from Bali to replace my totalled car. Heh! I’ll be driving this from now on. ;)

Dinner with an unexpected guest

Jojo Struys 1

I have preached again and again about the importance of having a digicam with you at all times. Unfortunately, I am not exactly known for practicing what I preach, often with disastrous results. A friend of mine called me out for dinner but he was struck down by a bout of food poisoning so it was just Jojo, Stephanie and me.

Jojo Struys 2

I didn’t know which Jojo it was until I arrived and nearly drove the 23 km back to grab my dSLR. It was Jojo Struys and Stephanie Chai! Alas, armed with only my crappy cell phone camera, I couldn’t really take good photos but Jojo was kind enough to use her Blackberry to take photos and email it to me.

Jojo Struys 3

This is why you should lug your dSLR everywhere you go. You just never know who you’re going to meet.

Thanks for buying me dinner Jojo! :)

Oh babe, I hate to go

leaving

I just spent the past 3 hours packing up all my shit. I can’t believe the crap I’ve accumulated over such a short period of time. I can’t imagine how I’m going to fit everything into the car tomorrow. I’m thinking it’ll take at least 3-4 trips (and a lorry) to transport all my stuff to the new place. I managed to get a place for RM 1,100 per month – it’s not as good as the current condominium I’m staying at but I guess it’s alright since I will save on parking and gas (it’s very close to where I work).

I wanted to get a place at Sterling, and got an offer for RM 1,300 (just RM 200 more) which is a GREAT deal since Sterling is…well, I guess you can call it a high end condo. Unfortunately, the unit would not be vacant until 1st June and I have to move tomorrow since my lease expired. There is a cursed clause which states that the landlord can give 1 ½ months notice if he returns from Perlis and wants the unit back. I stupidly signed it coz I really needed a place to stay last year.

Thus, I am now in a state of limbo – I’m not sure if I want to stay at the new place for keeps since the rent is a bit steep for what I’ll call an apartment (instead of a condo, though it does have a swimming pool). I’ll need to sort out my Streamyx tomorrow too – transfer the line to the new place. I was rather tempted by Shang Villa (got an offer for RM 1,000) but after consulting Google Maps, it seems that the route to work would be a KILLER (massive jams on a notorious stretch of the LDP) so I passed.

To be honest, I’ve grown rather fond of my current abode and moving to the new place (you know I don’t reveal where I live) would be a bit of a pain, since the KL weather is so fucked up right now. The heat wave is likely to continue for a while and my air conditioning would not be ready until this Saturday. I guess I’ll just have to grin and bear it for the time being. It’s not that I’m fucking spoiled; I just cannot sleep without air conditioning since I’ve been sleeping at 16 degrees ever since I was a kid. It’s hard to adapt when you grew up with creature comforts like that.

I don’t mind the cold, but I hate the heat. People who know me can attest to the fact that I turn as red as a lobster at the slightest temperature provocation. A coworker even commented on the fact that I got sun burnt from walking 100 meters in the afternoon sun to a meeting. Yes, yes, I get heatstroke really easily, don’t bag me about it. Different strokes for different folks (pun intended). I can stand a lot of shit, but heat is not one of them.

Anyways, I gotta get back to packing. I am seriously puzzled, nay, flummoxed by the amount of shit I have lying around the place. Honestly, it’s like Jesus turning water into wine, albeit this is converting empty space into material possessions. Fuck me.

Well, since we’re on the topic of the Messiah, lemme just share with you a quote from SK’s Blaze:

Ain’t none of you ever been stuck in the mud and needed a push? I won’t ask you how you can be for this and still call yourself Christians, because one of you would have some kind of answer out of what I call the Holy-Joe-Do-It-My-Way Bible. But Jeezly-Crow! How can you read the parable of the Good Samaritan on Sunday and then say you’re for a thing like this on Monday night?

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