My girlfriend just broke up with me…

rainie breakup

Rainie has broken up with me. I really have given it my all. Maybe I could have done more. I don’t know if it even matters. She has now moved back with her ex-boyfriend. I will neither assign blame nor vilify her.

It hurts like hell. I feel an emptiness and I have to keep myself from calling her and begging her to come back.

I usually fail.

I really, really loved her and I did a lot of things and accepted a lot of things about her which I usually won’t.

It’s no one’s fault.

I don’t even know how to begin to write this but for myself, I need to.

She’s a really great person and I really loved her. I still do.

I have trust issues which I felt was very justified. I will not vilify her, she’s a great person that maybe I could have saved but I wasn’t strong enough.

I’m glad things moved this fast though. I never regretted a moment we had together. However, it really hurts to be treated like this.

She left me while I was in Phuket. We had an argument over my trust issues and she packed her bags and went back to her ex-boyfriend (which would make that her current boyfriend again) instead of waiting until I got back as we agreed. I now know things that I didn’t.

I have forgiven her for things which goes against my very principles. She was one the only 3 people I’ve ever loved like this.

I won’t go into details because it’s her life. I will not assign blame, if there’s anyone to blame, let it be me.

I just wished she could have told me instead running off when I was in Phuket. I wish she hadn’t taken the easy way out. I would have understood.

Worst of all, I know that if she comes back I know I’ll still love her and forgive her.

Perhaps people with the dark triad of personalities is destined to only get the girls during that crucial period before their ovulation.

Never to be together with someone, only to be a temporary fling as you seem more attractive during that time, forever, and ever, and ever.

…and that is a very dark thought.

It’s so disheartening that once I stopped being a player and started to be a nice guy, the ladder theory proves true. It’s so easy to get girls when you’re being a player but when you’re being serious in the relationship, the tables are turned and you get played.

However, I won’t go back to being what I was. I want to be a nice guy and I want my partner to love me because I love her, not because I’m a manipulative player.

No one can take that from me. I know I’m ready for a serious relationship and I have really tried and I’ve given it my all.

I saw a cute little girl while out tapao-ing food I won’t eat just now. She’s adorable and I looked at her parents and it made me think that maybe nice guys won’t always finish last.

In a fit of Zen, I have looked at it another way. It could be that the dark triad of personalities tend to attract some type of girls but I don’t think that your personality is set. I wasn’t a player before and I stopped being a player now, ergo, I have discarded the attributes that used to fit the dark triad of personalities.

There is someone out there waiting for me. Someone I will love and cherish and who will reciprocate. Someone who will not lie to me and whom I will not lie to.

A relationship built on trust.

That is what keeps me going during this difficult period.

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95 thoughts on “My girlfriend just broke up with me…”

    • Thanks jimmy!

      I will stay true to myself. Not going to be a player anymore, I know how it hurts people, even with the best of intentions, it’s selfish in its core.

      Thanks for reading bro. :)

  1. “……………………………………..” (I don’t know what should i say and what you want me to say)
    May be what i can suggest is consult the person who appeared in the post before this. I think he will be the one who really can help you, give you best advise and support. Andalso, same like before, i not going to say any word to comfort you. You start it yourself, your finish it too.

    • Of course mate.

      I don’t expect anything from anyone. That’s the way I’ve always lived my life, which is probably why I’m so misunderstood. :)

      I’m already healing and I will be a better man because of this.

  2. It’s alright dearie, Look at it as one of your favourite dish from your grandma. Chai Poh (Pickled radish) comes in bits and chunks, Life and relationships come in this form too. Obviously you don’t want bits and chunks because you want to own a radish farm to cultivate good quality radishes for them to be pickled, no? You have gone through so much with your past and you are doing fantastic! C’mon, don’t feel sad. You will be fine because I know you will..;-)
    Take care.


    • Heh! What an analogy Yvonne! :)

      Thanks for that, you really made me smile. You’ve done more for me than I could ever ask for.

      I appreciate that you’re trying to help me through this and for that you have my sincere thanks.

      Thanks Yvonne. :D

  3. All of us have history. You are not answereable to anyone of us. You are an inteligent boy and you know what you should do. Look at all the comments, Some are negative BUT alot of them are positive. Lucky guy, you! There are alot of people who cares about you, Take care.;-)

    • Yup, at least you know who your friends are. :)

      There are some who judge but I don’t care what they think about me. I have peace knowing that I did the best I could and nothing could have prevented this – nothing. It wasn’t about me.

      Thank you Yvonne, for the kind comments. You take care too.

  4. Somehow this is important news too:

    Sex-deprived flies drink more alcohol, study finds
    By MALCOLM RITTER, AP Science Writer, 15 Mar 2012

    Barflies: Sex-deprived male flies go for the booze

    NEW YORK (AP) — Guys, when your sweetheart says “No thanks” to sex, do you knock back a few stiff drinks to feel better? Turns out fruit flies do pretty much the same thing.

    That’s the word from a new study that may explain why both species react that way.

    In Friday’s issue of the journal Science, researchers propose a biological explanation for why “Not tonight, dear” may lead to “Gimme another beer.” If it proves true in people, it may help scientists find new medications to fight alcoholism.

    In that case, we can thank thousands of frustrated flies.

    One by one, these eager Lotharios were put into a container with a female that had just mated. So she was really, really not interested in doing it again anytime soon. She would run away. She would kick the male. She would stick out her egg-laying organ to hold him at bay.

    The male flies went through three hour-long sessions of this every day for four days, enough rejection to discourage them from trying any more.

    After that experience, rejected flies were put in vials and given a choice of regular food or alcohol-laced food. They consistently went for the alcohol more than did the male flies that had just mated. In fact, they evidently got plastered.

    Some rejected males were moved to a different environment, where groups of guys mingled with receptive females. After the guys had sex, their yen for alcohol declined.

    The researchers also paired thousands of other male flies with dead virgin females, so that they didn’t experience rejection but didn’t have sex either. They still hit the sauce.

    What’s going on here?

    The researchers did other work that implicates a substance in the fly brain called NPF. They theorize that pleasurable activities like having sex boost the activity of brain circuits that use NPF, and that feels good. If a fly is denied sex, the system goes into deficit, driving the fly to seek other rewarding activities such as drinking alcohol.

    “I think it’s a pretty good bet that it will translate to humans,” said Ulrike Heberlein of the University of California, San Francisco, who led the research. If so, “one can say we could now understand why a negative experience, such as a sexual rejection, could drive somebody to drink.”

    Further research into NPF brain circuitry could shed light on the biology of alcohol abuse and possibly point to treatments someday, said Troy Zars of the University of Missouri in Columbia, who didn’t participate in the new work.

    Fruit flies are a favorite lab animal in part because scientists have exquisite control over their biology. Here, the researchers were able to alter brain function to zero in on NPF’s role.

    Whatever the relevance to humans, the work already pays off when Heberlein meets people at parties.

    “It makes for wonderful conversation,” she said. “When you tell them this story, they just really can’t believe it.” – Associated Press

  5. That was sad. Don’t worry, just think that it is not your lost but hers. Let her go to his ex and someday she will regret that she leave you after all the things you did for her. Just think that there is someone better that will come.

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