My girlfriend just broke up with me…

rainie breakup

Rainie has broken up with me. I really have given it my all. Maybe I could have done more. I don’t know if it even matters. She has now moved back with her ex-boyfriend. I will neither assign blame nor vilify her.

It hurts like hell. I feel an emptiness and I have to keep myself from calling her and begging her to come back.

I usually fail.

I really, really loved her and I did a lot of things and accepted a lot of things about her which I usually won’t.

It’s no one’s fault.

I don’t even know how to begin to write this but for myself, I need to.

She’s a really great person and I really loved her. I still do.

I have trust issues which I felt was very justified. I will not vilify her, she’s a great person that maybe I could have saved but I wasn’t strong enough.

I’m glad things moved this fast though. I never regretted a moment we had together. However, it really hurts to be treated like this.

She left me while I was in Phuket. We had an argument over my trust issues and she packed her bags and went back to her ex-boyfriend (which would make that her current boyfriend again) instead of waiting until I got back as we agreed. I now know things that I didn’t.

I have forgiven her for things which goes against my very principles. She was one the only 3 people I’ve ever loved like this.

I won’t go into details because it’s her life. I will not assign blame, if there’s anyone to blame, let it be me.

I just wished she could have told me instead running off when I was in Phuket. I wish she hadn’t taken the easy way out. I would have understood.

Worst of all, I know that if she comes back I know I’ll still love her and forgive her.

Perhaps people with the dark triad of personalities is destined to only get the girls during that crucial period before their ovulation.

Never to be together with someone, only to be a temporary fling as you seem more attractive during that time, forever, and ever, and ever.

…and that is a very dark thought.

It’s so disheartening that once I stopped being a player and started to be a nice guy, the ladder theory proves true. It’s so easy to get girls when you’re being a player but when you’re being serious in the relationship, the tables are turned and you get played.

However, I won’t go back to being what I was. I want to be a nice guy and I want my partner to love me because I love her, not because I’m a manipulative player.

No one can take that from me. I know I’m ready for a serious relationship and I have really tried and I’ve given it my all.

I saw a cute little girl while out tapao-ing food I won’t eat just now. She’s adorable and I looked at her parents and it made me think that maybe nice guys won’t always finish last.

In a fit of Zen, I have looked at it another way. It could be that the dark triad of personalities tend to attract some type of girls but I don’t think that your personality is set. I wasn’t a player before and I stopped being a player now, ergo, I have discarded the attributes that used to fit the dark triad of personalities.

There is someone out there waiting for me. Someone I will love and cherish and who will reciprocate. Someone who will not lie to me and whom I will not lie to.

A relationship built on trust.

That is what keeps me going during this difficult period.

Going to Phuket!

hb rainie

Greetings everyone! :D

I’ve been busy the past few days with my girlfriend moving in and us doing all that lovey dovey relationship stuff…

movies

…like staying in, ordering pizza and watching TV series.

groceries

…and erm, getting groceries together. Haha!

Anyway, I’m off to Phuket in less than 12 hours so I’ll catch you all on the flipside. :)

My girlfriend just moved in with me!

rainie moving in

I know it’s a big step to be taking in the relationship – one of the major milestones. However, I feel that the time has come. A lot of people have told me it’s too early to be doing this but I’m not the type to let tradition or “relationship rules” dictate what I do.

…so I just went and did it.

I asked her to move in with me. :)

fixing

Well, for those of you who’ve been to my studio apartment, you’ll know that it’s a bit of a pigsty. Irene famously said that it can sustain its own ecosystem and probably has created new forms of life in its time. She’s seen my pad in Kuching and while the one in KL isn’t as bad as that, it’s still pretty nasty.

cleaning

I managed to get two cleaners to come for 4 hours and an electrician to fix all the lights. There is only one light in the kitchen, the rest of my place has bulbs that have shorted out. Yes, I am living in darkness (in more ways than one).

leap of faith

I had to help the two cleaners do their work coz 4 hours wasn’t enough to clean my studio…which is just a little over 500 sq ft, so you can imagine the kind of messiness (understatement of the decade) that we’re talking about.

Two cleaners for 4 hours: RM 100
Cleaning accessories: RM 142.65
Replacing the 9 lights in my condo that has shorted out: RM 205
Getting groceries so the fridge and pantry will be stocked: RM 182.50
Living with my girlfriend: Priceless

clean studio

I’m really happy to be taking the relationship into a whole new level.

rainie moves in

I don’t know how things would go from here but what I do know for sure is that I’m fixing everything that’s wrong in my life for the one thing that is right. :)

My Valentine’s Day

rainie lunch

I met this girl at TDH last Saturday morning. I was early (actually everyone else was late, I was late by 45 minutes myself) and I got there first. I saw this girl laughing while watching a movie on her iPad so I went over, said hello and ended up talking to her for an hour.

It turns out that her name is Rainie – I added her on Facebook and got her number. I said I’ll call and we’ll meet up for lunch or something next week…and today, that’s exactly what we did. There’s some epicness in the middle but for the sake of length, I’ll leave that out.

rainie

This afternoon, on the 14th of February, I went out for lunch with “the TDH girl” (as she will be affectionately known) and made plans for dinner.

It was very casual, the plan was no plan and we ended up having dinner at Wong Kok Char Chang Teng (of all places!) coz she was sick and wanted to eat porridge. There wasn’t any porridge so she made do with ramen and hot lemon honey juice.

vd dinner 2012

I think we spent 3 hours there talking until the movie started. She’s someone I can click with and there’s definitely something going on here.

She looks different every time I see her! It’s like she turns more attractive each time I meet her. It kinda scares me coz I don’t recognize her for a split second each time she waves at me!

I don’t know what comes next. I won’t pretend I do. We’ll see if this works out.

I’m just glad:

  • I went to TDH last Saturday at that particular time
  • I made it to lunch today
  • We spent 6 hours together on Valentine’s Day night despite work tomorrow

…a lot of things would have been different if any of those decisions were made differently.

rainie hb

I’m just glad things turned out the way they did. :)

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...