The loudest firecracker face-off

firecrackers comparison

These two look similar (they even have the same name) but they’re actually very different firecrackers. Crazy Bang is just a marketing moniker – a wrap around the salutes. It doesn’t really mean anything – chai lei was called Pop Pop (the contact firecrackers kids play) one year.

crazy bang thunder king

The large one is actually the original Thunder King while the smaller one is the new Thunder King. It’s a very “Luke, I am your father” moment. It’s really hard to find the old ones nowadays.

Original Thunder King a.k.a. Caucasian dick

thunder king size

It has an OD (Outer Diameter) of more than 1 inch. 3 cm to be exact.

thunder king length

It is almost half a foot long – 14.5 cm.

New Thunder King a.k.a. Asian dick

size thunder king

Diameter of less than 1 inch – about 2.3 cm. You can’t really go much smaller than this for loud salutes.

length thunder king

The length is nearly 4 inches. It’s 9.5 cm.

Of course, the size doesn’t mean a thing – it’s the flash powder charge inside and how it’s constructed that determines how powerful and loud it is so I have here…a side by side test!

I lit both of the Thunder King salutes within close proximity of each other (but not so close that the first blast will send the other firecracker flying) and recorded it while I stood in the middle.

It sounds almost similar but the original Thunder King has more flash powder inside and you can actually feel the strength of the salute as it sends flying debris around. You can see that in the video. The originals are the bane of schools everywhere as kids tape it inside toilet cisterns with a time delay (usually a mosquito coil) and breaks it.

firecracker size

There was one memorable year where the girl’s toilet had more ruined cisterns that needed replacing when I was in high school. I know the girl who did it. Heh.

Fun with indoor firecrackers or "How I Nearly Burned Down the House"

How not to light a firecracker 101

firecracker this is stupid

I was alone at home last night and decided to add some Chap Goh Meh cheer to the place. I had a couple of Chai Lei firecrackers [] around (it’s a loud firecracker) and I have let them off in the enclosed space that I call home before without adverse consequences. However, this time I had to man the camera AND light the firecracker at the same time, and unfortunately God, in His infinite wisdom only gave Man two hands.

firecracker on fire

Download: Firecracker box burning []

I lost my lighter and had to use a match to light the firecracker and me in my infinite wisdom, decided it was a good idea to light it straight from the box which contains the rest of the Chai Lei firecrackers. I lit the firecracker, prepared to aim the digicam at it, and then I noticed that the shrink wrap on the firecracker box was burning (!!!).

I tried to blow out the flames (again, me and my infinite wisdom) and it just accelerated the burn rate AND the lit firecracker was still in my hand. I had a brain fart and threw the firecracker away before overturning the burning box into a towel and hoped for the best.

firecracker bad thing

My hands were shaking from the nearly adverted catastrophe. It would not have been pretty for the box of Chai Lei firecrackers to go off all at once indoors.

It would be decidedly a Bad Thing (TM).

firecracker singe fuse

Download: Firecracker fuse singed []

I did another take and bad luck seems to come in twos (or is that threes) coz I dropped the (still lit) match into the box, before it bounced out, making it come into contact with an unlit fuse and singeing it. I did not realize it and only noticed it after the fact. The tip of the Chai Lei firecracker fuse nearly caught on fire and would have set off a chain reaction which would probably burn the place down (since I didn’t even know it happened).

The worst thing is, my fire extinguisher hasn’t even been inspected since I moved in and I live on the top floor and the any fire-related incidents would probably leave…er, collateral damage.

Yeah, I know, I’m the epitome of a responsible citizen. 😉

firecracker perfect

Download: Indoor Chai Lei firecracker []

firecracker dont try this at home

This is a perfect take. It’s fun to light Chai Lei firecrackers indoors for a change. It’s also fun to throw several into an electric kettle indoors and see if the metal/plastic would hold the blast or send sharp shards all over the enclosed space.

You just might win the Darwin award. 😉


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