Crazy Taxi (Limited Edition!)

Remember the the first crazy taxi
[sixthseal.com]? I took one today that put that to shame! I went back
at 5:10 am to take a shower and get some food and was picked up by this
yellow cab with this late 30’s guy with a tattoo on his left forearm,
same place I have mine, except his is some kind of insignia.

I wish I had my digicam with me, I didn’t bring my bag or digicam
back coz I was just planning to make a quick trip home – it took me
exactly one hour starting from me stepping out of XM to stepping in
again. :) Record setting eh? Back to the taxi, the driver is fucking
insane. Heh. First question he asked me when I got in?

No, not where I wanted to go. He said “Gan chek yau lai ah?” (Just
took some pills?). I was like wtf? I said I just got off work, and he
went oh, I thought you were feng tau in Warp. I said, Warp is a good
200 meters down and he went “Oh yeah.”. And he said, so…guess what
I’m on? I shit you not!

It’s easy to guess, he’s fucking tweaked out of his mind, I said
must be ice (meth) and he went “YEAH!! ICE ICE BABY!!!” (slang for
methamphetamine). He was speeding all along, going around curves like a
madman. And at this traffic light, he wound down the window, gestured
to the lorry with two guys beside and accelerated and said “You dare to
race me?”. The guys ignored him and he said they were pussies.

Anyway, suddenly, he asked me if I wanted some “ice ice baby” as he
so eloquently put it. I said no thanks, I don’t take drugs. *cough* He
said he can get it for me RIGHT NOW if I wanted, a set for RM 500. I
don’t know how much a set is but he made this big size with his hands
so it was quite a lot. I declined his offer and he went on talking
about Genting (wtf?) for some reason. He’s totally lost, speeding all
along.

Also, near my place he said, let me show you 180 km/h and he did
exactly that. I said, oi, I need to get to work tomorrow (meaning I
didn’t want to die) and he said no problem, this way you get to work
FASTER! He’s fucking hilarious and tweaked stupid at the same time, and
best of all, he charged me RM 4 even though the meter was RM 7.60 and
there is a surcharge of 50% coz he said he likes 4 coz he wants to die.
4 sounds like “die” in Chinese and most dialects.

This is not the taxi you want to get in unless you want cheap and
fast transport and someone talking your ear off. He pushes dangerous
driving to a new level and he shouts randomly at people on the street
as well, with his window wound down. I was quite amused by his antics,
but in hindsight, his driving was terrible. Don’t get into a yellow
taxi with a guy fitting that description. It might be your last ride.
;) A collision at the speeds he’s driving would obliterate the car and
the passangers inside.

That’s the good thing about it – RM 4 only. :)

However he makes craxy taxi #1 look like a 90 year old grandma in
comparison. Limited edition this one, I give him 3 months before he
dies in a car crash.

Crazy Taxi (KL Edition)

crazytaxi.jpg

Never be late again! Pictured above is KL’s finest taxi driver, the best of the best – he’ll get you where you want, when
you want. This is the second time he’s actually saved me from being
late…I knew it was him from the way he was still accelerating while
pulling up to me and from the tyres screeching to a halt just in front
of me. You want fast? You’ve got fast.

I need to wake up at 6:30 am in order to take the LRT/bus combo
(plus a 25 minute walk), so anytime after that requires me to enlist
the services of a taxi to arrive on time. I woke up at nearly 8 am
today (curses) and the taxi arrived at 8:07 am and got to Jalan Sultan
Ismail at 8:21 am. I shit you not, it’s a time lap that’s worth of
entry into the Guinness Book of World Records. Well, maybe not that,
the Malaysian Book of Records then.

He sure needs to be commended anyway. The way he weaves through the
tightest spots and liberally applies his horn and glares at cars who
even dares to inch a little bit closer to the lane that he wants to
change into. The way he bores down on errant pedestrians who did not
know better and got into his way, even going so far as to make one girl
go “Arrggghhh” and jump out of the way. The way he ignores the traffic
police directing traffic and rushes through anyway.

I got to the office and punched in. 8:26 am. I didn’t think it was possible. Thanks, crazy taxi!

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