My little breakup story

I’m going to tell you my little breakup story. I arrived home to find the letterbox key slipped under the door. Hmm…I thought, surveying my surroundings. It seems a little on the empty side, but nothing out of the ordinary. I walked into the bedroom to find out that…

empty bed

…she had left (and taken my bed sheets with her). OMG! What am I going to sleep in tonight?

I went to take a bath with my newly purchased soap and threw the wrapper into the non-existent rubbish bin. It landed on the floor. I’m just so used to it being there that I didn’t look before I disposed of the wrapper. She had taken the rubbish bin AND the laundry bin as well. Ish.

no rubbish bin

Oh well, no biggie. I’ll deal with it tomorrow, not thinking that if so many things are missing, others have to be as well. I took a shower and went to sleep on my (sheet less) bed.

I woke up the next day, smoked my first cigarette of the day while looking at the traffic outside. I went back in to brush my teeth and found…

no toothpaste


I remember we had at least three (3) tubes stocked up and all of them were missing.

Man, this is just petty. Toothpaste? Crass…

search toothpate

I didn’t want to be late for work so I rummaged around and found some toiletries I liberated from random hotel rooms for use during budget travel. I usually take shaver kits and toothpaste kits.

found toothpaste


I texted her to tell her that taking all the toothpaste is just ridiculous.

She replied:


Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

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93 thoughts on “My little breakup story”

  1. Damn. You don’t seem like the type to get retribution though. Or maybe you got some “pre-emptive” retribution?
    At any rate, I recommend wearing an athletic supporter anytime you leave the house….

  2. NICOLE.: Well, I still think it’s uncalled for, but it is rather funny. :)
    aw: Yup, I am. I’ve read through your comments history and found that you have nothing positive to say and tends to make subtle disses against me. You sure you’re not my best fiend Adrian? ;)
    You sound so much like him in real life. LOL!
    chefmel: True, I went on a meth run which ended with an emergency dialysis and damaged kidneys + liver when Stephanie broke up with me. I loved her and I guess I just thought the world was over without her.
    Thankfully, I’m still alive and kicking coz the world is great! :)
    Amy: Dumping by cell phone? Yeah, that is very lame indeed.
    jolene: Haha! I miss the toothpaste and TP the most.
    Treey: Indeed they are, my friend.
    bigwillie: Hey buddy, it’s good to have you back. :)
    Dolly Oh: Oh well. :)
    Paul: She did scratch my car (not intentionally) before this, but yeah nothing that psychotic. ;)
    No one pwned no one, she’s a nice person. :)
    chelsea: Hmm…I know who you are. :)
    Anyway, I was not that much of an asshole, was I? Take things in stride, long distance never works out.
    binn: Yeah, well, I must share some of the blame as well. She did concede a lot of things, we just drifted apart. Shit happens.
    chefmel: Heh! That’s fair enough. :)
    khimmy: Yeah, and two wrongs doesn’t make a right. My wrong was that I thought she had accepted that we had finally broken up, when she actually hasn’t.
    WEEN: Please see your friendly neighborhood sex addiction counselor. :p
    I’m not going to post her photos up or send them to you mate, it’s just my policy. I don’t show others intimate photos. :)
    Yeah, I’m alright about things, it’s for the best.
    Cheesie: Haha! You’re so mean Cheesie! :)

  3. On my opinion, it may hurt her if she happens to read this post, worse were the bashing from your heartless readers comments calling her names. I hope she won’t. She’s probably upset, but between the two of you its over now, give her a little respect what due her, if she comes claiming what is hers, I guess she has a right to do so and why the fuss about it? I remember so well, your post on how you two shared drink/eat each others blood-jelly that signify the bond of your love for each other, what happened to that?

  4. cynthia: OMG! You’re evil! That would have been worse coz I will have to run down to get cigarettes. :(
    victor: You’re right, I’m not the type to get retribution since it’s no big deal to me. I just thought it would make a funny post, and I was really sick yesterday (had a fever) so I posed it up. I wrote it ages ago. :)
    I still think it’s funny, especially her reply.
    janelgrace: She already read the post, and even commented. That is the real her. You must have misread coz last count, there were most people bashing me than her. You have a twisted sense of reality, this is just a humorous post about how messy break ups can be.
    It’s not supposed to be serious.

  5. Chelsea: Hmm…I did not take that into account. ;)
    No worries I don’t think she’ll do that la. :)
    Paul: No dude, I brushed way more than that already. This happened a long time ago!
    For the uninitiated, it says “Today” on the HTC coz I took the photo on that very day itself, not coz it’s literally “Today”.

  6. Ok. Dr. HB ( Dr Phil), I can tell you a few things you have done wrong, cause of my vast of sum of knowledege at age 49, but I will ask for your’s also. I thought i was doing a good thing by saying ” I don’t care about your breasts ( and I dont!!, I could really care less, and I love her). ( she just had a double breast removal). But then I added the commennt, ” you got nice legs and a firm ass, and only babies like breasts, anyway”. Death. I should have mentioned we enjoy the same things (we do). and I think of her all the time. ( a blatent lie, only alot of the time, I gotta make a living , you know?) I redeemed myself, by mentioning the month of her birhday (that was a true act of god, I am horrible at remembering dates.). The whole point is I NEVEVER THOUHT I WAS DOING ANYTHING WRONG. I thought I was being supportive. She is great. I would never, ever, hurt her. Maybe guys brains are wired differently. On your behalf, I, I think here is wher you fucked the dog, HB. You treat all your ladies nicely, but you gotta pick one. a great lady,with whom you like to speak to, whom you feel you could spend the rest of your life with, sans boredom; price or pauper try to make her feel she is the light of your life. All ( or at least alot) of her future is ridiing on YOU. She probably don’t want to feel like a race horse that is gonna get traded for the next new horse in your life, nor one of a stable of three. Now I have said my say, …What do the ladies say? I really wanna now.

  7. hehehe… feel sorry for u man… but doris, u could have at least sat down with him. it’s better to tell him to his face. then again, that’s only cos i’m just commenting as a girl… (trying not be bias here lol) gud luck man. breaking up just part of life ;p

  8. Dude, you are 28 or so. You should Love your lady, but always try to keep a spare razor,comb, tooth brush, change
    of underwear, pack of cigarettetes, lighter and a little alcohol rolled up in an old sleeping bag. (I keep mine in an old untagged ford explorer, and periodicaly refresh the beer and cigarettetes. Plus a pocket knife. (and 5 twenties – not very much, when you get right down to it, but that is ok, that is what the sleeping bag is for.) Never know when you are going to have to hit the road, or at least sleep in a barn, even though it is YOUR GD house… Seems like east or west, it is pretty much the same – (wtf have i done now???). tom

  9. Sorry to all, That last sounded like a thing from the last generation. Old traditions die hard. ( but if we get in an fight, it is still a very good idea to have a sleeping bag, cigs, and a beer and a few bucks), all rolled up, and ready to go. Men do not actally rule this world, you know. But please, ladies, allow us to at least think otherwise. Ever had any a girlfriend so vindictve as to take the batteries from your tv remote control, HB? Or light bulbs, smoke detecter batteries or all the t.p.? You will, I reackon. But nevertheless. I just sometimes wonder what we do to piss them off, so badly. A question for the ages, and all races, I guess. I only know I love the one that love me, God help me. TOM

  10. tom: Great point there tom! I appreciate your vast reservoir of wisdom. I have spent my entire life looking for The One (TM) and I’ve been told that there is no such thing as The One by my dad. The One is whom YOU (I) choose to make it to be. Words of wisdom indeed.
    Yeah, I need to settle down buddy. I’m not getting any younger too and I would like some stability in my life.
    jac: Well, in all fairness, she did try to. It’s just that my work hours are horrible – I stay back late until 9 pm – 10 pm sometimes. She gets home at 5 pm sharp coz their company has a no OT policy. Our company doesn’t have OT too, at least we don’t get paid for OT, but it’s an agency so the culture is to work till late.
    I just never had time to do anything except sleep when I came back home. :S
    That’s my bad. I guess she just got tired of not having time to talk to me that she left like that. Oh well. We learn.
    Thanks jac! :)
    horizon: I’m not sure that’s the reason mate. The photos are still here. :)
    Edwin T: Nope, my sister is a doctor. I’m a Copywriter/Operations Executive. :)
    tom: Gotcha mate. You okay there buddy? Recovery getting alone well?
    aimee: I’ve seen worse. She’s not that bad actually. I have honestly seen MUCH worse. :)
    UTARSGLONG: Er…go to a club and pick up a chick or something. :)
    tom: I guess like you said we’re just wired differently. When we leave, we just leave with the clothes on our backs, say goodbye and hope to remain friends after. I have ex-gfs who I’m still close with and I’m glad they’re like that. There’s always exceptions. :)
    …and I’m glad you have someone you love that loves you back. Be well, my friend

  11. Haha! I do believe in that phrase – I’ve seen more than my fair share in my lifetime. :S
    …which is rather unfortunate. Have been looking to settling down, but yeah, I got some issues that I need resolving. You know what I’m talking about, but we shall not speak of it here. Good news though I haven’t drank in two days since I was sick. I was so sick I couldn’t even drink. Imagine that. Down with fever.
    Why are you working on a Saturday?

  12. I was just yanking yr chain mate… Chill… In this day n age who gives a shit who pays for what??? I’m sure u make heaps fr the blog n u pay yr fair share… I just thought i’ll give u some shit n u will c the funny side of what i said… Sorry mate!!!

  13. No, I apologize mate. I guess I’m a little cranky coz I’m still feeling feverish and the antibiotics makes me wanna puke. I’m sorry for my unwarranted reply. Cheers! :)

  14. Actually I find it funny lor. HAHAHAH… Don’t worry that people will bash the ex cause most girls are siding her.. KAKAKKA.. And I think she is pretty cool to take it. And ur expression when you saw it.

  15. Dude ,thank goodness. what if she’s ur wife! what u think she gona leave u with ?if she leave u with…………… meng

  16. “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!!”
    true… true.. :) take care buddy.
    ps: you waited this long to post this up and it meant to be a funny one, yet so many cannot take it. LOL!

  17. ….i missed this posting cos i was away HB..hahahahaa…took d toothpaste away eh?!well…funny why do dat i cant understd most i would take if i ever break up wit my bf ..will be err our nude pics together..Call me up if u ever run toothpaste again lol rotf.

  18. Ping Ping: Ya lor…quite cham la no toothpaste and no TP. :)
    The first is worse, coz if no TP can use the shower. Haha! :)
    Edwin T: Thanks Edwin! :)
    malacca in singapore: She would probably leave with half of my assets. :)
    Darren: Nah, it’s alright buddy, she was just angry. People do stupid things when they’re angry. :)
    hitomi: Then we shall go next weekend! =D
    cwee: Thanks buddy! :)
    I shall need TP above all. Haha!
    headsteadi: It’s lucky for gambling. ;)
    Most of my underwear is red. :)
    bongkersz: Yeah mate, genetic defect, guess not everyone has a funny bone. ;)
    Tz: Nude photos is going to far la…I won’t ever do that. :)
    I will definitely call you if I’m in need of TP. ;)
    sc: O rly? ;)
    Arth Akal: Hey mate! Yeah, unfortunately it’s a part of our lifestyle. Glad you relate. ;)

  19. hitomi: It’s okay, I wake up at around 2 pm (or later) on Saturday anyway. Gotta repay the sleep debt for the entire week one. ;)
    eve: Hmm…the link sends me to the main landing page of YouTube. Yeah, it could be worse. ;)
    Okay work now, reply all the comments later.

  20. Thanks for your reply HB. I refered to you as a Dr. because you have helped me, and enlightened me to the fact despite our phyisical differences ( I am 6’2″, 280 lbs, and white),when you get down to it, we are all the same. Same problems, fears and joys. Different sons and daugherters of the same mothers and Dads, worldwide. Your Site gives me information, insite, a laugh and occasionally a tear, and has been a blessing. Thanks for all, HB. ( When are you gonna write a book and will it be published in english, please?)

  21. tom: We’ve helped each other my friend. :)
    We both have a lot in common despite the differences. I will write a book, in fact, I’m in the process of writing it. It’s definately going to be in English coz that’s the only lauguage I can write in.
    You take care, my friend.
    dick: Yeah, but I think she was angry more than anything. Oh well.

  22. HB, u got it ez. When my gf left, she took my shoes, belts, shirts, dog and WATER HEATER. U at least got to take a bath first……
    Dun blame her tho…even tho I paid for most of the stuff. Her right was she CHOSE the things. :)

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