You wake up at 4 am in the morning and walk out for some Maggi mee goreng at the local mamak. Secure in the knowledge that you won’t bump into anyone you know in the wee hours of the night (morning?) you come dressed in the finest regalia from your wardrobe:
The most tattered t-shirt in your collection with more holes than a chunk of Swiss cheese.
A tacky pair of shorts without an elastic waistband which you have to constantly pull up to avoid slipping down your expanding waistline.
Now imagine yourself with a bleary expression, eyes still puffy and bloodshot with sleep and the makings of a pimple of monstrous proportions manifesting on your nose.
Your hair tousled (and not the sexy kind of messy, just plain scruffy from sleeping before your hair is dry) and dressed in what would best be described as rags, you casually stroll down to devour a plate of Maggie mee goreng before heading back to sleep.
Imagine all the bad habits you do when no one else is looking – wiping your greasy mouth with the tail of your shirt and standing up to pay the bill when suddenly…
This hot chick from the table behind you looks at you and suddenly goes “Hey, do I know you?”
This moment is the dreaded instant best described as Jeng Jeng Jeng.
Startled, you reply in the affirmative while your sleep-addled brain tries to process just exactly who she is. You stare at her as she yaks in a cheerful manner, all the while painfully aware of the nipple piercing poking straight out of a hole in your t-shirt (with probably a few stray hairs around the aureole for good measure).
Hello Amanda! You’re officially seen me at my worst. 😉