My mom’s funeral


My mom passed on about two weeks ago and the funeral started at our home in Sibu followed by a service in Wesley Methodist Church with a bagpipe band before laying her to rest at Methodist Grace Memorial Park Cemetery.

moving casket

These are the photos from that day. We didn’t think about having a photographer around but one of my aunties kindly arranged to have her friend take the pictures and handed them to us.

home service

My better half flew back to Sibu too, it’s fortunate that my late mom has met her before and I’m glad she managed to take the time to come back. My sister and brother-in-law and my nieces and nephews are all here too – the family is all dressed in white.

home funeral

We don’t wear black for mourning unlike Western funerals, the immediate family is usually dressed in white for Chinese funerals.

coffin van

I went with my dad to accompany my mom’s casket on the van to the church.

church service

There was an hour-long service which a lot of her friends attended and me and my sister gave a speech.


I also made a short movie to commemorate my mom that was screened at the church service.

moving coffin

The coffin was then carried to Methodist Grace Memorial Park to be buried (technically, no caskets are “buried” anymore – they’re double sealed in concrete)…


…and we paid our last respects before coming back again 3 days later. I’m not sure if this is a Chinese custom or a Christian one though.

funeral service

I’m back in KL now after shuttling between here and KL and Singapore, doing the documentation for my mom’s sudden passing. She has been fighting cancer for a long time and a sudden deterioration made her unable to undergo her radiotherapy sessions, and relying on chemotherapy alone didn’t really help as she rapidly went from wheelchair-bound to bed-ridden to oxygen dependent.


Thanks again for all the thousands of people who came to visit and the others who send messages of condolences and funeral wreaths and food and other shows of support. It is much appreciated, all your kindness, during a difficult time.

coffin church

We will miss you mom. We hope you lay at peace knowing you have raised us well and we’ll do the best we can and be there for each other and dad until we meet again.

called home

Goodbye, mom.

(Called home 6th March 2014)

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50 thoughts on “My mom’s funeral”

  1. Dude, this is a well written farewell. i am sure before she passed, she’s happy that you turned around and be able to attend her funeral instead of the other way round. heh, we all thought you would not last 5 years in you wild blogging days. Hey, stay strong……see you in the States someday.

    • Thanks mate!

      Yeah, it used be be that we didn’t think I could live for long with all my kidney and liver problems (and lifestyle issues). The wild days indeed…

      See ya and FF someday!

  2. i empathise with your family’s loss, as my grandfather passed away last year and the memories of those few days will remain with me for a long time. i hope you and your loved ones will find comfort and hope in many places, and that the most positive memories of your mom will always keep you warm throughout life.

  3. I have been reading your blogs since 2003 and it’s been a pleasure following stories of your journey. following from what “e” said, i am sure that your mother is glad to see how you have turned around and embraced the right chapter in the right time and place. she has lived a fulfilling life as a mother to raise you, and now she’s home. deepest condolences to your and your family.

  4. You wrote a nice and touching piece. Hope you will stay strong for your dad and keep the happiest memories that live on forever. Life is after all just a journey on this earth.

  5. Condolences to you and your family Huai Bin .. Your mom is safe in the arms of Our Lord .. Take care my friend and walk on!

  6. My deepest condolences to you and your family, Huai Bin. It’s never easy to lose a parent, and I remember the devastation when I lost my dad a few years ago. You seem like you’re holding on strong, especially tough amidst the funeral planning. I hope you took the time to mourn, while also celebrating the joy of having such an amazing mother.
    I hope time will heal it all. Hang in there…

    • Thanks Winnie!

      Sorry to hear about your experience! Yeah, we’re taking the time to mourn and to celebrate her life too! She still is an amazing mom!

  7. HI HB…….knowing you from your blog way back 2001 and now it was also 13 years, reading those up and down of your life, knowing you being bad guy, “grey” guy and now a good person ( hope not offended you!) ….this is the moment I see you growing up as a person ( of course I mean mentally) ….Anybody know how to appreciate love have open their heart for good thing. Without a history there is no future but the important thing what do we learnt from the history and what will we take from the future!! I am pround of you … are really a good man !! God bless you!!

    • Thanks mate!

      Yeah, my life used to be rather complicated, I guess I’m one of those people who take a long time to find True North (and sometimes I’m still searching).

      No offence taken buddy, that’s the truth and I’m trying to be a better person to everyone around me now.

      Cheers for the well wishes and God bless!

  8. condolence to mr Poh kee eng n family for the loss of ur wife/mum.
    may she rest in peace.
    she was my good friend n colleague at sacred heart.

  9. Hi,
    I am sorry for your lost! I was an avid reader back in the day (hardly ever check in anymore I apologize) and I’m glad you have managed to turn your life around (all that drug shit was years ago now I guess)…Its abit surreal for some reason at this second in time to randomly come across your blog site, you look happy and healthy in the photos you post.

    lots of love coming from Australia

    • Thanks for taking the time to comment mate!

      Yeah, it’s been a while since those wild days that started in Australia…there are some things I regret experimenting with (namely benzodiazepines, would not have touched them in retrospect, even comparing it to methamphetamine and opiates in term of long term effects) but it’s all a learning experience.

      Cheers for the condolences and well wishes!

    • Thanks Mel!

      Yeah, she’s a strong woman for being able to fight such an aggressive type of cancer that requires chemo and radio and takes a lot out of a person.

      She’s in a better place now.

      Cheers for the condolences!


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