The mysterious groper strikes again…
The mysterious groper strikes again…
I can’t open my pigeon hole without seeing some pussy. No,
seriously. Ever since I gave my name and mailing address for a free
video at SEXPO 2002
[sixthseal.com] I’ve been getting brochures, catalogues and vouchers
mailed to me. I get assaulted with words like College Cock 101, Horny
Fuck Mamas (stuffed to the brim with kinky dick, no less) and Shaved
She Males every time I open my mail. It’s a good thing they mail these
things in nondescript envelopes. They’re wasting their money though coz
I’m not interested. Now, if it was a pharmaceutical catalogue on the
other hand… 😉
The best photo I took today. Thanks, Cherie, for being a good sport!
I just came back from SEXPO and it was great. I came in just as the
first stage show was starting. It’s a devil themed striptease by
Brianna from Club X.
Gotta love the cape
She did a very good job, lots of eye contact with the audience and
her set was full of energy too. From her set, she looks like one of
those girls who looks real innocent but can be nasty too.
Unfortunately, she didn’t get much of a response from the crowd, it was
still early at that time and alcohol induced rowdiness was still at a
minimum then. 🙂 I didn’t get many photos though, coz the stage shows
cannot be photographed unless you have a media pass (SEXPO policy). I
only managed to take a couple of photos before a security guard waved
at me and mouthed “no photos”.
Brianna has a nice smile too
Anyway, the next stage show is a male striptease and hmm…I wish I
could perform like that guy. Heh. The stripper is Donny from Crystal
T’s and he was doing a cowboy themed number. It was really good, even
from a guy’s point of view. I also got a G-string rose from the
presenters. They were throwing bunches of them from the stage and I got
one. It’s a G-string hidden in a plastic rose.
The expo started getting crowded at around noon
There wasn’t any more stage shows until 1 pm, so I browsed around
the booths for a while. I got myself a T-shirt with “RELEASE SARAH
TONIN” printed in front for A$25. That just works on so many levels,
and I couldn’t resist. It’s a play on all the Release Kevin
Mitnick/Dmitry Sklyarov/whoever T-shirts. Sarah Tonin, who is in jail
for being too er..ecstatic, can be released by posting bail at your
friendly neighbourhood drug dealer. Bail is set at A$35.
Saints and Sinners
There was a lot of exhibitors there, mostly adult shops, brothels
and alternative culture booths. The biggest exhibitors were
adultshop.com and Club X. I browsed around for a while before catching
the next stage show – a Body Bitz presentation of their body moulding
thingy. It’s some sort of cement type stuff which solidifies in 45
seconds. Basically you pour the stuff into a bucket or some other
receptacle and immerse any part of your anatomy in it. It then sets and
you’ll have a mold of the said piece of anatomy. Andy from Big Brother
(Australia) was demonstrating how it works.
Andy topless, but you’ve already seen that before in Big Brother: Uncut
The mold was then auctioned off to the highest bidder. It is
supposed to be one of only two casts of her breasts. The picture didn’t
turn out too well, coz I had to take it from far back. I arrived too
late to get a good spot. However, I could take as many pictures as I
wanted coz the security is only in front.
It’s hard to get shots of the booths in crowded conditions
I walked around some more after that and got another freebie – a
video of The Making of “The Private Gladiator” by Private Gold.
Unfortunately, I don’t have a VCR, in fact, I’ve never even owned one.
Anyway, there was also a rally simulator there and it was pretty good
Not your grampa’s motion simulator
A$5 for entry and it’s a 3 minute ride in a motion simulator. It
rocks, the motions are not your standard run of the mill movements, but
really “hold on to your hats” ones. I was not expecting that and nearly
fell headfirst into the screen. Apparently, the hand holds are not just
for decoration but actually serve a function here. This thing here puts
the word MOTION into MOTION SIMULATOR.
Kages on King
There was also a lot of booths offering nude pictures with their
girls. A good place to cop a feel if you’re into that sort of thing.
The girls are pretty easy going too, within reason. Gallery
Entertainment had one where you can pose with two fully nude girls.
Club X has two, one is a topless one and the other is with a
dominatrix. Kages on King’s has the best variety of girls and most of
them are pretty hot. Not that I went to any, of course.
Being disabled doesn’t mean your sex life is over as this woman dressed only in sheer netting attests.You can check out an article from PlugLust relating to this one.
There was also a small part dedicated to health and the disabled.
I love this car, it’s made for one driver and the passenger seat is occupied by tank of N20
Anyway, there was also non-sex industry stuff on display. There was
a big car show at the back with vintage and souped up cars. There was
also an F1 boat dealer (like the ones seen in Tomorrow Never Dies).
Those cockpits are really small. I squeezed into it and felt
claustrophobic once the hatch was closed. It could barely hold me.
A different kind of sexy
There was also a light plane dealer. It costs A$16,000, which isn’t a lot considering it’s a aeroplane.
The girls were painted using body paint
The next stage show I managed to catch was a body painting competition with the girls from Kages on King.
The painters then pressed against the girls to get the imprints on their white T-shirts
There was also a shadow theatre running where two couples simulate
sex behind a piece of cloth. This was also done on a highway somewhere
a couple of days back to promote SEXPO. The police have yet to release
the road fatalities statistics from that day.
Shadow theatre. Wayang kulit never looked so good
Other interesting things of note are:
Off Ya Tree having a glass pipe making demonstration
The car show girls taking a break by going into the demostration spas
The walking dick
Crystal T’s girls. I give them best of show. Quality.
Anyway, I did manage to catch Ron Jeremy [ronjeremy.com] after all. He came in with Jacklyn Lick [jacklynlick.com] to do autographs together. Unfortunately, the other US porn star who is slated to appear – Serenity
[serenity.net] did not come with them. I got a signed photo taken with
Ron and Jacklyn. The most commonly heard comments around their booth
were “that dude is a porn star??”, usually said in incredulous tones.
Heh. Ron Jeremy is one of the most recognized male porn stars in the
world, and he has 1600 (!!!) films under his belt, no pun intended.
Jacklyn looks older in real life than in her films, but she’s friendly
and eager to talk. The photo came out pretty good. I was actually
respecting her personal space and just put an arm around her, but she
pulled down her top and put my hand on her breast. For the record, I
moved it to the side, and not just because I didn’t want to obscure her
breasts from the photo, but also coz I’m in a relationship and I don’t
think my girlfriend will appreciate me posting a photo of me grabbing a
porn star’s boobs in my blog. 🙂 So there you go, if you want to touch
a porn star’s boobs, go to SEXPO tomorrow, it’s the last day. Between
you and me, now there’s one less thing on my list of things to do
before I die. 😉
Autographed photo taken with Ron Jeremy and Jacklyn Lick